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should I go or not?

alev

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Hello everyone!
I have been posting recently about a relationship of mine that ended a few weeks back. I hadn't received any favorable readings from the I ching about approaching him for a reconciliation so I haven't done anything to contact him. Now the universe has thrown me a curve ball and I have found out last night that we are both invited to a party on Thursday.
I know it's better to avoid asking yes or no questions, so I phrased things a bit differently and am quite befuddled by the results.
I asked "How will he respond to me at the party?"
result was 18.2.6 changing to 15
I took this as a good sign that he may try to make things right and at the very least be civil
I asked "How will he respond if I do not show up at the party?"
the result was 23.3.4 changing to 56
this is the one that I don't understand as we have already "split apart" and I'm not sure how the "wanderer" figures in
Trying to clarify things I asked "How should I respond to him at the party?"
the result was 47.2.3 changing to 17!
I don't feel oppressed at all so I don't know what that means! The 17 aspect I figured relates to me maybe just following his lead and acting how he acts

I would really appreaciate any help decoding these readings as the party is in 3 days and I still can't decided whether It is to my benefit to go or not!
 

elizabeth

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hi Alev,

In my experience 56 the wanderer tells you how others see you. I"ve gotten that quite a bit from the Yi, and it has always meant the same thing: others see you as an outsider in X situation, you're not "one of the group". There is an element of alienation there. In this case you were asking how HE would react if you didnt show up though... I would interpret that to be "he would feel alienated that you didnt show up, he would feel a bit lost." At the least, he will notice your absence.

17, when I have received it, means make no moves yourself, follow his lead. But the significance of the changing lines in the preceding hex will give you your full answer.

47 says that you cannot change existing ideologies (or opinions). You are stuck. You have changing lines 2 and 3.

Line 2 SEEMS to say you can approach him but really should defer to the situation, not be bold. I read it as meaning you can take a step, and say hi maybe, (ie acknowledge him politely) but leave the rest to play out as it will. Line 3 implies you are locked inside yourself and cannot really see the situation for what it is. There are things going on that you dont see. I see this hex, both lines and 17 all saying the same thing: do not be the aggressor. I would personally wait for him to approach you if you DO go to the party.

But await others' inputs as I often have trouble interpreting the Yi myself!
 
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willowfox

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Why don't you just simply ask whether it is wise to go to the party under the circumstances as your questions about various responses does not answer the $64 question, to go or not.

Question 2 how will he respond if you don't go? Will he even know that you were invited and how would you know his response anyway, you would not be there?
 

alev

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Thanks Elizabeth for the response, that makes sense to just go with the flow and not be the agressor. I certainly don't feel aggressive right now, I am nervous!
Willowfox, I know my questions seemed to "beat around the bush" a bit, but I had read before that it was best not to ask yes or no questions, even though in this case that is exactly what i wanted to do! Do you think I should just ask the question should I go or not just as it is?
Unfortunately, the invite was an email e-vite, so it is sent to everyone at once and everybody responds whether or not they are going to attend. So he sees I am invited and will know whether I am going or not based on my rsvp on the email. I guess my second question was geared towards my thinking that if I don't go he would take it as I am intentionally avoiding him and the situation.
 

willowfox

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Ask any question that you like, there are no rules about what kind of question you are allowed to ask or not ask. So, don't listen to "others" when they say yes/no questions are bad "juju".

If you have split up, does it really matter what he thinks anymore?

And as for line 18.6, I see a distance existing, I don't think that he wants to talk to you at all.

Lines 47.2,3 suggests that it will be a very difficult meeting if you go in and try to chat him up, therefore you should keep away from him, looks like he is going to be a real pain and that will certainly spoil the party for you if you allow him to.
 

alev

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Thanks again for your expertise!
but oh man, i read 18.2.6 completely different! I thought it seemed a good sign that he was willing to "work on things". Line 6 did throw me a bit, but I had interpreted it as a possibility that he himself may not attend the party
That is good to know about asking the questions Willowfox. It will certainly make things easier in the future for when I use the I ching!
To put the matter to rest, I will ask the I ching directly tonight if I should go or not and think things through over the next couple of days. The last thing I want is to get hurt in a party setting. I know we have already split but it was an unclean split and being an emotional woman that I am...well I still care what he thinks of me even though I know I shouldn't. oh well...
 

zhan1

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Hi alev,

Just to clarify--Hex 47.2.3 becomes 31, and 47.1.2 becomes 17-- I suppose you received 47.1.2, is that correct? Sorry if this seems like a tedious question.:eek:
 

alev

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Yikes! my mistake you are right! The changing lines were 2 and 3. well, 31 seems to be telling me to do the exact opposite of what 17 was (when i mistakenly thought that was the resulting hex). Thanks for pointing this out!
31 seems to imply action whereas 17 was to wait and be led into something
I am new to this and I have to say this website has been so helpful even when the news doesn't seem "good"!
 

willowfox

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Don't worry about the final hexs as the lines give you what you need to know for Saturday. As for 47.2,3 going to 31, it advices you to avoid him and not make a fool of yourself. Hex 31 suggests that you should keep your ears open for good advise as to what to do. This is most definitely not a time to get drunk and be all over him, so read the image of this hex and not the judgement.
 

alev

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Thank you Willowfox! Drunken behavior is what brought about the breakup anyways and I've learned my lesson for sure
I took your advise last night and asked the I ching plain and simple, Should I go to the party?
I received hexagram 5 with moving lines 4 and 5 changing to hexagram 34
I have to admit I am a little worried about the 4th line which implies I am in danger! I'm thinking this is a sign that I should actually refrain from attending the event at all
 

willowfox

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Should I go to the party?
I received hexagram 5 with moving lines 4 and 5 changing to hexagram 34

Line 5.4 suggests that the party will indeed prove to be a troublesome situation and of course things could easily get out of control if you meet each other, alcohol makes for a loose tongue, so it advises that you stay away.

Line 5.5 suggests that if you stay away from any potential trouble, the party, then you will have peace of mind and can relax.

Hex 34 says that you have the power to decide what to do, so there is a need to chose wisely, so it advises that you don't do anything silly like going to the party and causing a very memorable scene.
 

alev

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Thanks Willowfox!
That is how I felt too, I felt it was clearly telling me that going would be a bad idea. So, I decided to trust this and not attend. I'm not sure I'll have peace of mind by not going as I am sure I will be home thinking of all the fun everyone is having without me! But I'm sure someone will be happy I am not there...him!
 

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