Shy to make contact

[rosa17]

Hey everyone,

I am going to visit Ireland soon for work. Would love to call my old boyfriend and meet him and his wife for a drink. Just as a catch up for old times sake. We do chat from time to time. But too shy to do it. I was wondering how I could influence this situation and would they meet me if I plucked up the courage to email.

I received Hexgram 58 (Tui, Joy) which is divided at line one, undivided at line two and divided at line three. It changes to Hexagram 31.

So, Line One says the pleasure of inward harmony.
Line two undivided says the pleasure arising from inward sincerity. Good fortune.
But then line three says the subject bringing round himself whatever can give pleasure.

Then the resulting Hexgram is 31. I am so confused. It starts out positive and then goes negative. The lines start out positive, then negative. What am I missing here? It sounds like the advice given is that it is not a good idea. Help Please!!

 

[newlife123]

But what do you want out of this?

 

[chibi chan]

Hi Rosa,

I'm a newbie at this, so take anything I suggest with a grain of salt (very large portion of salt). To me this reading would be a green light to send the email. I'm shy as well and sometimes I end up regretting letting opportunities pass me by because I was too shy. so....Let's go to the Wilhelm translation:

58. The Joyous
Judgement: The joyous mood is infectious and therefore brings success. But joy must be based on steadfastness if it is not to degenerate into uncontrolled mirth. Truth and strength must dwell in the heart, while gentleness reveals itself in social intercourse.....

You just wanted to chat and catch up...right...sounds perfect.

Line 1. Contented joyousness. Good fortune.

A quiet, wordless, self-contained joy, desiring nothing from without and resting content with everything, remains free of all egotistic likes and dislikes. In this freedom lies good fortune, because it harbors the quiet security of a heart fortified within itself.

....Still sounding good

Line 2. Sincere joyousness. Good fortune.
Remorse disappears.

We often find ourselves associating with inferior people in whose company we are tempted by pleasures that are inappropriate for the superior man. To participate in such pleasures would certainly bring remorse, for a superior man can find no real satisfaction in low pleasures. When, recognizing this, a man does not permit his will to swerve, so that he does not find such ways agreeable, not even dubious companions will venture to proffer any base pleasures, because he would not enjoy them. Thus every cause for regret is removed.

Okay...not as 100% completely green light. I think green light with a warning that you may be tempted, but you won't do anything wrong (for some reason I thought of tequila shots)

Line 3. Coming joyousness. Misfortune.

True joy must spring from within. But if one is empty within and wholly given over to the world, idle pleasures come streaming in from without. This is what many people welcome as diversion. Those who lack inner stability and therefore need amusement, will always find opportunity of indulgence. They attract external pleasures by the emptiness of their natures. Thus they lose themselves more and more, which of course has bad results.

Okay...this definitely sounds like Tequila shots or some other base pleasure...I think this is definitely a warning. To refrain from the indulgence or you'll be sorry (or hung over).

Resulting Hexagram

31. Hsien / Influence (Wooing)
Influence. Success.
Perseverance furthers.
To take a maiden to wife brings good fortune.

The weak element is above, the strong below; hence their powers attract each other, so that they unite. This brings about success, for all success depends on the effect of mutual attraction. By keeping still within while experiencing joy without, one can prevent the joy from going to excess and hold it within proper bounds. This is the meaning of the added admonition, "Perseverance furthers," for it is perseverance that makes the difference between seduction and courtship; in the latter the strong man takes a position inferior to that of the weak girl and shows consideration for her. This attraction between affinities is a general law of nature. Heaven and earth attract each other and thus all creatures come into being. Through such attraction the sage influences men's hearts, and thus the world attains peace. From the attractions they exert we can learn the nature of all beings in heaven and on earth.

This sounds good. All this from just a chat. I would send the email. I found that wooing isn't always wooing for me as a reading. I've occasionally have gotten it in work related readings (definitely no wooing involved...gick).

I would also take into consideration that it's just an email to a old friend. He probably won't flame out on you or anything....right...If he's busy, he'll just say no thanks.

Good Luck...can you post how it turns out (even if you don't send the email)? I really want to see if I'm onto something or should hit the books some more.

Hugs
Chibi chan.

 

[kash]

What was the exact question you asked? What you said above sounds like two questions in one - "How can I influence it?" and "Would they meet me?"

Either way, I think the advice is pretty clearly positive. The first two lines are good, so I'd take the contradicting one as a warning. Sounds like if you just go ahead and ask them to meet up, it'll happen.
Maybe it's talking about your feelings of doubt and shyness and how you need to disengage from them and just do it.