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Silence Isn't Golden- Vanishing Friend

pink_mandolin

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Hello, nice to meet everyone :)

My good friend (of 5 years) texted me on Saturday night inviting me over hers on Tuesday (just gone) I text her back to confirm a time and she didn't answer! I text and rang her, nothing! Tuesday came and I had no idea whether to just go around hers so I did! When I went around! No-one in!! I can't understand what happened. So I was initially a little Peed off. Has my friend stood me up?! Since then I have rang her and text and I've had no reply. I've gone from worried sick, to angry "how dare you stand me up"?

Everything was going well between us- we hadn't seen each other for 3 weeks previous
untill she texted.

I cast and wondered if anyone had any ideas! I'll write what I think (I hope hilary has
bought plenty of cyber space as I notice my posts are always bigger than everyone elses!)

Why is my friend Silent, not answering?
40 unchanging

Why did she stand me up?
47.2.6---12

Is my friend ok?
56.5.6----31

How does my friend see the situation between us?
54.1.2.4.6---23

Will my friend be in touch/communicate?
39.1--63 Obsticals

& all importantly whats the best course of action?! (Approach/wait)
34 great vigor unchanging.

Cheers everyone :bows:
 

pink_mandolin

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Worried Sick

My friend was having trouble at work, she's on anger management, says she needs to get her life sorted out etc, struggling with bills and the like.

The three weeks prior we had a great evening! Lots of fun and laughs! We texted and joked. Then she went silent after that for a while! Then as I say on Saturday I got a message asking me to come on Tuesday.

I am worried sick! The more I look at my reading the more the answers escape me so I'm off for a break- logging off. Maybe I'll have a look tommorow & it will make more sense.
 

my_key

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Why is my friend Silent, not answering?
40 unchanging

She is trying to make sense of lots of things that are shaking her up at the moment.

& all importantly whats the best course of action?! (Approach/wait)
34 great vigor unchanging.

Have trust in what is going on. Let what happens happen.
 

rosada

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I don't see anything to be worried about here, other than the fact these lines suggest to me the friend has intentionally stood you up. 56 - 31 make me think she has moved on to other interests. You may not hear from her again.
The image for 34 says "The superior man does not tread on paths that do not accord with established order." I agree with My key here. Do nothing out of the ordinary. You've tried to reach her. She has not responded. Leave it alone.
rosada

P.S. I do hope you will give us an update if you ever hear from your friend.
 
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pink_mandolin

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Thanks

Thanks, doesn't look good for her coming back does it! I'll let you know what happens!
 
M

meng

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To me this doesn't look good, at least initially. I get the impression that she's felt boxed in and inhibited from your recent exchanges, and she's wandering on her own, spreading her wings and excerpting her own will and authority.

I'd surmise from this that if you want a chance with her in the future, you'll need to give her more freedom of movement and expression. In fact, you would do well to encourage it.
 

pink_mandolin

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Update!!

Hi guys, thanks so much for your help/imput on this! I had great news! wanted to share something with you!

From that reading things looked pretty hopeless at 1st glance with regard to my friend! But yesterday I did another reading as a little time- only a few days had past! I drew the following

Our friendship presently:- 12 unchanging- great I thought no change, not good! Standstill with no room of improvement. I nearly went away feeling very down, but something nudged me to throw again and ask another question.

I simply asked- Is there anything I can do? and I drew
8 holding together with changing lines 1,2 & 4 changing into 58 exchange or Joy. Oh I thought to myself, that said to me not to give up on my friend, hold it together, hold inwardly in loyalty and sincerity and to show my affection openly but don't go overboard.

The 8 also guided me to throw again, so I asked- If I sent my friend a message right now telling her I missed her and I wondered if we were still friends anymore- would that help?

I drew 42 line 4 which said clearly """"If you walk in the middle and report to the
prince he will follow. It furthers one to be used in the removal of the capital."" Well I said to myself, what have I got to lose! So I sent my friend a message!

I asked the Yi, are you sure this will work????! feeling doubt and again I drew 42.4! So I waited and half an hour later the "prince" who I "reported" to followed! My friend got in touch, answered my message! So the Yi was correct! I went around that evening and had a wonderful time, all was forgiven! :D:D Lots of reasons, she wasn't in a good way, problems at work, lack of funds- phone credit etc, just a bad time for her. But I love her so it was forgiven! ;)

The Yi gave me that reading at the time as things stood then, yet as time passed- even though it was only a few days things changed & an avenue opened up I could follow. I'm glad I checked! I might write something about this in exploring divination when I have time!

Ok, so there is a lesson in this! not to take a reading at face value to probe a little deeper as when things look dire a situation can change and with a little patience you can actually achieve your goal! Also a little trust and faith go a loooong way!!! :bows:

Anyway thats all, so this wraps it up! any thoughts appreciated, if not thanks! :D
 

Trojina

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Hi guys, thanks so much for your help/imput on this! I had great news! wanted to share something with you!

From that reading things looked pretty hopeless at 1st glance with regard to my friend! But yesterday I did another reading as a little time- only a few days had past! I drew the following

Our friendship presently:- 12 unchanging- great I thought no change, not good! Standstill with no room of improvement. I nearly went away feeling very down, but something nudged me to throw again and ask another question.

I simply asked- Is there anything I can do? and I drew
8 holding together with changing lines 1,2 & 4 changing into 58 exchange or Joy. Oh I thought to myself, that said to me not to give up on my friend, hold it together, hold inwardly in loyalty and sincerity and to show my affection openly but don't go overboard.

The 8 also guided me to throw again, so I asked- If I sent my friend a message right now telling her I missed her and I wondered if we were still friends anymore- would that help?

I drew 42 line 4 which said clearly """"If you walk in the middle and report to the
prince he will follow. It furthers one to be used in the removal of the capital."" Well I said to myself, what have I got to lose! So I sent my friend a message!

I asked the Yi, are you sure this will work????! feeling doubt and again I drew 42.4! So I waited and half an hour later the "prince" who I "reported" to followed! My friend got in touch, answered my message! So the Yi was correct! I went around that evening and had a wonderful time, all was forgiven! :D:D Lots of reasons, she wasn't in a good way, problems at work, lack of funds- phone credit etc, just a bad time for her. But I love her so it was forgiven! ;)

The Yi gave me that reading at the time as things stood then, yet as time passed- even though it was only a few days things changed & an avenue opened up I could follow. I'm glad I checked! I might write something about this in exploring divination when I have time!

Ok, so there is a lesson in this! not to take a reading at face value to probe a little deeper as when things look dire a situation can change and with a little patience you can actually achieve your goal! Also a little trust and faith go a loooong way!!! :bows:

Anyway thats all, so this wraps it up! any thoughts appreciated, if not thanks! :D

Okay, you want thoughts ? You got em..you may not like them though but...okay you persevered, you got in touch, you saw your friend, you are pleased....and you say finally don't take Yi at face value. However I'd also say don't take your friend at face value either. You see while she may have been pleasant etc on that occasion the state of the friendship was hex 12 ...previous answers would make me hesitate...and can you really buy the excuse of 'not having credit on her phone' for not calling you back, that she still hadn't called you back after you left repeated messages, that in the end it was only your persistence that got you through. I totally understand you don't want to lose a good friend...but is this friend really and truly playing ball with you ? Surely she might have just sent you a quick text somewhere along the line to say she was preoccupied and she'd be in touch rather than just ignore your repeated messages.

I could be totally wrong and it could be her reasons for ignoring you repeatedly were genuine.., or it could be she just wants alot more space in the friendship...all I'm saying is it may be good for you to think a little bit more about the undercurrents here...I always think the excuse of lack of phone credit for not calling or texting for days on end is pretty weak, unless you are 14 years old or completely destitute. To be honest I'd take it as a sign the person wanted some space from me., or at least think about the balance in the friendship.

(sorry for repetition...)
 
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pink_mandolin

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:)

Hi trojan, thanks for your reply, the friendship has always been very good in these past 5 years, except for this year, it was unusual for my friend to do that, its why I felt so distraught/angry when it happened, a natural reaction. We've always been very close, her mental/emotional state is up and down right now, she's been through a lot this year, loss of relationships/jobs etc. I wish I'd been more understanding and given her the space instead of being so upset/angry! Which is what the others picked up on!

I believed my friends reasons and I definetly understand what you mean about undercurrents! i'm not worried there, we both talked about what happened, she understood she hurt me a lot! But I understand her reasons.

Good friends means working through the issues and being loyal in the friendship, which is hexagram 8. I would always go out of my way for my friend, she has done this for me in the past when i've been struggling. Its a bit of a shock when someone you trust lets you down! Its easy to think bad things or judge them, everyone human and making mistakes!

Anyway thanks, I appreciate your opinion!!
 

pink_mandolin

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Why did she stand me up?
47.2.6---12

I don't want to disclose too much about my friend online but she told me lastnight about the depression she is going through which explains 47.2.6! She felt oppressed from everyone including me so she shut herself away! I've had depression so I know that feeling of feeling trapped, avoiding contact etc.

Why is my friend Silent, not answering?
40 unchanging

She blamed herself for something awful happening in her life, and she said the last few weeks she's been trying to find forgiveness for herself. She was trying to dissolve the difficulty she was feeling. She felt a little better when she recieved my message so replied. It wasn't personal.

Is my friend ok- 56.5.6--31
This is talking about a situation she finds herself in. She lost someone close to her, at first she was glad he was gone, but then regretted her choice (line 6) she blames herself for what happened, that it was her carelessness. The 31 she's been trying to distract herself from it.

So my key you were spot on! yes rosada she did stand me up intentionally but not maliciously! You were correct with this. Meng you were also bang on! She felt depressed so yes, boxed in and my contacting her was only making her feel worse because she didn't want any contact, was in too much pain!

""To me this doesn't look good, at least initially. I get the impression that she's felt boxed in and inhibited from your recent exchanges, and she's wandering on her own, spreading her wings and excerpting her own will and authority. "" -meng

She was literally doing that to try and "escape" her problems!

Cheers, everyone!
 

rosada

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Thank you SOO MUCH for the detailed update. This is how we learn.
Rosada
 

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