Solving Financial Issues

[arabella]

Hello there. As a widow I am in the process of putting two children through university which accumulates quite a bill in short order. I don't want them to start life in a deficit position and want to pay off the debt as soon as I can, but it's daunting. Until it is paid, it will strongly affect my own standard of living, assuming my children will be getting employment and be on their own in several years. My only asset is our former home which is for sale in another country and will produce some benefit when it does sell, but not nearly enough to buy a house where we are now. So I'm in the tenuous position of renting once again, apparently permanently: a big step backwards.

When the house sells, I've got still another enormous moving job to handle at significant expense, just to come out of the whole exercise with less than I paid, which is depressing. Some days it is all too overwhelming to even think about, and it appears I am drifting into a pit financially. In other words, I'm trying to see a way out of this position, and there seems to be no hope at times. I will spend years paying off debt based on income from the job I've got and widow's benefits. So I asked the IChing, how do I resolve these financial issues and regain our security? The answer: 57, moving lines 1,2,3,4, becoming hexagram 25.

I'm thinking this means my assumptions are correct and I'll be at this task indefinitely, with no security in sight any time soon. But I can't find the equivalent reading in the archives here. Any thoughts?

 

[gene]

arabella

I must admit, for a question like this, when so many lines are changing, it becomes very difficult to interpret. I think one well versed in the old Chinese meanings of the words, and a deep knowledge of interpreting multiple changing lines would have a better chance. But here I will take just a partial stab at it, as something came to me in the commentary on hexagram 57 as a whole. The commentary says, "If one would produce such effects, one must have a clearly defined goal." I think that is at least a glimpse of the overall answer in the sense that one must define one's financial goal and FIND a way to achieve it, no matter what. Now, neither this hexagram nor the relating hexagram promise anything up front, but with continued work, dedication, and consistency in planning a financial future, and a way to create it, one can in time, achieve more than what they possibly conceive of being able to do at the present time. I would recommend a serious focusing on the means of creating a better financial future, and eventually bringing it about. Even if you do not see a way right now. The controlling line of the hexagram is line 5. Line 5 says, before the change, 3 days, after the change 3 days. In other words, a new way of perceiving our ability to earn money is in order. The change may be gradual, but possible.

Hexagram 26 applies to "a treasure within a mountain." A treasure within a mountain is not easy to find, but with consistent discipline it can be discovered. Good luck with this matter.

Gene

 

[lucia]

gently penetrate and disentangle from this.........

Hi

It's excruciating isn't it when you have kids and you are doing everything you can to generate income and because you are a single parent, so often, it just doesn't add up because unless you have a very big salary or an inheritance, raising kids is a two income deal. There is a limit both to the hours in the day and our abilities to spread ourselves thin. And all of it comes neatly packaged with a thing called parental guilt!

And that is what I think your hexes are saying: gently disentangle from all this.

57.1 is the first of the bottom 3 changing lines which are more internally oriented than the upper three. Line one is the influence of your thinking and suggests the need to see things in terms of the overall picture rather than each individual issue that arises. You are on a bit of a mission here and this requires self discipline and standing back a bit and getting a more long term and generalised overview. This will help you maintain the stamina for the ups and dowms of the journey and to not get overwhelmed or worn down by your fears and worries.

57.2 talks about the underlying security issues that drive you and the importance of gradually unravelling those and understanding them without overthinking it all. 57 is gentle and subtle - it penetrates it doesn't interrogate. You need to understand how these things operate within you that then have an impact on how you act in the world. Being a parent or a mum already brings so much of this type of internal baggage just to add another fun layer on top of our own personal security issues. Don't let these things underpin your actions in the world. But it is rewarding work and maybe helps us discard some of the internal wieghtiness that blocks our practical progress in the world.

57.3 don't obsess over it though and don't try and cover every angle or cater for every need or let your security issues on a personal internal level impact on your external security. You can't stitch up every angle, you can't make six contingency plans for life - better to lighten up a bit and adopt a more adaptive and adaptable frame of mind and response. Anything else would be humiliating and exhausting. You can't control the future so relax and don't take it all on board.

57.4 suggests that when you maybe let go of some of the security driven needs that are so exhausting and learn to live a bit more fluidly with this stuff you will actually gain. Line 4 surfaces from the unconscious and acts in the world with the determination of a hunter. But just remember those other three lines bubbling away underneath - don't let either doubts or fears or your personal issues about money and security undermine that. Just as we cant have six contingency plans for life .neither can we know or control what is around the corner. Let go of regrets which means also let go of trying to control outcomes and you open yourself up to more possibilities and not necesssarily things you had envisaged.

In a nutshell - gently work on the internal stuff that is driving you, let go of things from the past that cloudl your actions and decisions, relinquish some of the control and the reward will manifest in external conditions.

best wishes

Lucia

 

[meng]

In addition to what's been said so well, let me offer LiSe's take on 57, as it brings the idea of heavenly mandate into view.

Very comforting to know that's you're not in this thing alone, that you carry a seal, as those who are introduced by royalty. If we forget that we have right and duty to this mandate, we can lose our confidence, because our confidence is in something we know we don't have complete control over: our destiny. Your Seal is something you can have confidence in. Your mission of giving your two sons the very best shot at life you can start them off with, that is a wonderful and noble mission for a mother.

http://www.yijing.nl/i_ching/hex_49-64/hex_e_57.htm

Taking a lesson from the wind, it works gradually and over time. It doesn't blow over tomorrow today. Take it as it comes, and carry your mandate with pride.

 

[meng]

Oh, on finances: trust for that too. Consider who and/or what pays our tuition if we remain true to our seal.

 

[lucia]

Your mission of giving your two sons the very best shot at life you can start them off with, that is a wonderful and noble mission for a mother.

Yes, it is noble but is it really necessary? 90 percent of the world's kids pay off all or most of their own student loans and it doesn't hurt them. They have their lives ahead of them - maybe the lines are suggesting you enjoy your own life a bit more and question youself as to whether you need to be so hard and inflexible on yourself with this noble aim? It sounds like you are driving yourself into the ground. As the lines suggest, you cannot control all the future outcomes so have no regrets and relinquish some of the control.

Just a thought that struck me with these lines and also memories of having "noble" aims for my own kids that nearly killed me . As one older and wiser woman once said to me: "They grow no matter what"

Lucia

 

[arabella]

Thanks for this, one and all. You'd be amazed what a relief it is just to lay out a problem like this and have bonafide answers from other adults. Not that I don't consider my young adult children responsible, but they don't have the experience of life that makes it possible to really discuss this with them. I know they will both do what they can to help. For one thing, they are working toward independence as quickly as possible. My son holds a fulltime job so that I owe only his tuition year to year. My daughter graduates this year and has a job offer, if she chooses not to return home any day soon, which she may well do. They share a flat to minimise expense and are quite frugal.

I may be stuck in my thinking, but I've always wanted education to be a gift I could give them. Maybe as a single parent it's out of reach. I do indeed have the sense of a "heavenly mandate" in many respects. Since they had no father to speak of, I'd like them to have something secure on their side, besides me -- something that isn't a burden, which I suppose inspires me to tackle the debt and try to give them a level playing field.

On the other hand, maybe the strictness with myself, setting mental deadlines, is just worrying the problem to death, knowing I can't reach a resolution tomorrow or the next day no matter how much I torment my brain. In which case, relaxing and floating downstream makes ultimate sense.

In all, my life is good, as is the children's. Living in Europe we are provided for in many ways through the social system and I can't complain for the basics. I am very frustrated that my widow's benefits, [from the US] forbid me to work more than the minimum, or I will lose all that support entirely, and it is a good basic income that would be hard to duplicate. This has been such a dilemma because it prevents me from aspiring in many ways, although in lucid moments I doubt that I could earn enough to account for losing widow's benefits while adding significant income over and above, even if such a job were available -- an issue in this economy.

It is complex once I get started mulling it. Maybe as has been said here as well, better to enjoy life rather than wrack your brain, and I take on board all Lucia is saying from wise experience. The thought of a "treasure within a mountain" is intriguing. Maybe there's an answer here that I'm not yet aware of or haven't even considered. That's very hopeful. Again, many thanks.

 

[lucia]

Maybe there's an answer here that I'm not yet aware of or haven't even considered.

that's exactly what 57.4 says. By loosening your sense of needing to have it all planned and organised - by working on the internal things - you move forward "with the determination of a hunter" and open up possibilities that you have not been able to envisage.....

like meng said you have the king's seal so to speak - you have your mandate - the treasure within - but don't let that be undermined by your fears and insecurities. That is the work - gently unravelling some of this stuff that comes at you from so many sides and thus enabling other opportunities and energies to come into your realm.

good luck with it all

L