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Some general guideance on dispersal

traingrrl

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Hi,
I'm very new to the I Ching. I've been consulting every day, but still have a hard time with the language and making sense of things.

I wonder if there are some general guidelines people might offer in how to make sense of what often feels like cryptic language.

Today I asked if I should let go completely of a romantic interest. The brief backstory is that we met, hit it off, and started falling (in love? in somewhere, at least). Then he realized he couldn't do it, wasn't prepared for a serious relationship after a 6 year marriage, in which he lost himself. Says he needs to be alone and learn how to be alone. Instead of running my usual rejection story, I'm choosing to believe him. He is heartful and loving and has assured me it's not about me (i.e. there was nothing about me per se that he didn't want). He just needs space. Anyway, I'm respecting his needs and it's turned out that not seeing each other is the least painful for both of us, tho' I have wanted to see him and wish to give myself a way of keeping it light, to enjoy the moment for what it is and not have to desire a serious relationship. Even tho' ultimately that is what I am looking for in my life. I have reaching and grasping tendencies and am working to not employ them. For my own well being as well as his.

Today I asked "Should I let go completely of A.?" My hexagram was 59. Dispersal. No changing lines.

Soften my ego, don't run my usual story. And?

Any specific guidance is welcome, as well as more general guidance on how to "read" the text.

Thank you kind ones.

K
 

bradford

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It couldn't be more specific. Let it go and move on. Evaporate.
 

ginnie

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The clouds will disperse and the sun will shine through the fog . . .
 

ginnie

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Since everybody experiences what the Buddhists call the 'afflictive emotions,' the fears and the angers, we all have a lot of 'evaporating' to do at times.
 

bradford

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The Chinese word Huan refers to both kinds of changes of state, lower to higher: solid to liquid (melting, breaking up, dissolving) and liquid to gas (evaporating, sweating). There is even a literal change of state in one of the lines, where the king is getting ready to distribute the grain from the royal graneries back to the people and dissolve the government and walk away. A Sufi once said of the mystical experience: "I came like water, like wind I go." In the trigrams, water is coming, wind is going. It's how the little stream crosses the desert, by surrendering.
 

willowfox

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I see this differently, as I usually do, but it suggests that you try and dissolve the "things" that are keeping you apart, there is a need here to "communicate' with each other in an honest and sincere way, there is a need for a new understanding between you.

His mind, his ego is the problem, it needs to be "dissolved" so that he comes back down to earth and acts sensibly and realistically once again, and he stops talking silly nonsense about wanting to go off into Hermit mode. (Hey man, I want to go to India and live alone down by the Ganges, so I can find myself) The man is being basically selfish, stick a pin in him and see if you can get a reaction.

(Hey man, I'm going to let my hair grow, grow a beard, turn myself into some destitute looking street person, live in a shoe box because I need my space man)
 

ginnie

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His mind, his ego is the problem, it needs to be "dissolved"
:rofl:
:rofl:

Oh, gee, yes, always it's the ego that's the problem . . .

But I don't know if I've ever had much luck dissolving another person's ego.

Best to use gentleness, that's my thought, because the continuous action of the gentle wind can eventually cut the mountains to shape . . . if you have several hundred years to spare . . . :rofl:

So much easier to work on one's own ego,
as that's something that can be accomplished in one's own lifetime . . .

:rofl::rofl::rofl:
 

traingrrl

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ego! hello my friend. back again?

you are all so very generous. thank you for your posts. what a wonderful thing this is, this online community.

i like the idea of sticking in a pin! i've also done that plenty in the past, in other situations. i feel committed to doing something new and not reaching for validation or acting like a child (even if a lovely one) who keeps poking, "Hey, look at me, watch this. Watch. Hey!"

maybe a two-pronged approach. evaporation and dispersing my own obsessive thoughts about what could be, what was, what should be, what isn't. and sending love and gentleness to the long-haired freedom seeker, when appropriate. and seeing that space might be the thing that dissolves the obstacles.

and oh, that other thing called trust.

it sometimes seems that every I Ching reading advises "do nothing," which would be aligned with the Tao's non-doing. As a do-er, this is how it sometimes feels to me. I welcome learning about new forms of action that may be different from my habitual "make things happen" acts, which, when it comes to love, isn't always effective.

thank you all, again.
 

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