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Something nice not to be mourned? 35.5

em ching

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Hello all,

Had a nice encounter with someone, but it only lasted an evening, and he does not live here but may return (friend of a friend) but then I am also leaving.. hmm, seems a bit like it was nice but as circumstances prevail, not to try to force more, or mourn the loss.
It's just annoying because mutual attraction, does not happen everyday! :)

Should I initiate a bit of contact? (in cyber space that is)
64.3,4,5 > 57

I think saying to be resolute - 64.4 - and perhaps just decide to leave it unless he returns to my sphere somehow naturally.. there probably isn't much point to strive blindly for more..
57 > 'Action without preparation of the ground only frightens and repels'

What does he think?
35.5
Wow speaks of easy come easy go, something nice which has now gone but the loss shouldn't be dwelled on and mourned but cherished - losses and gains shouldn't be taken to heart.
'One grows from the things that come and go not from the thins one holds on to' Lise
It also talks of berating yourself for not taking advantage of your position which also applies because he wasn't as forthcoming as he could have been in the circumstance - though I felt he wanted to be :)

Does he have any intentions?
59.1

Hmm not sure here... speaks of a gelded horse? So perhaps, he isn't attracted enough to pursue it as it would be hard to take it any further?

I was still wondering though, if 64 > 57 was saying there was more ground here to follow and so should make a gentle influence? Or could it be saying not to strive for more as the episode is nearing completion?

But if I left it, how could it grow?

35.5 again!! I like it when this happens :bows:

So again reminding me not to worry and take gains and losses to heart.

So from this would you be of the opinion that it is best to leave this nice feeling as it is, and leave it in the past so as not to be silly with it? I suppose so!?

Thank you very much for reading as always fellow Yi followers :)
And any heads up would be greatly appreciated. Would you leave it at that or make more of the connection by making little contact??
:bows:
 
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em ching

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Ok, I have thought to make a small gesture, as I received 38.5 suggesting, despite the obstruction of him not living near me and the lack of possibility of him crossing my path again, it would be good to 'bite through the wrappings causing the obstruction' .

Then again, it does feel that there would be too many obstacles for anything real to happen, but a little communication, to acknowledge the interest, would be good right? I mean human life is about forging relations, and relating to people - that's what makes people happy and feel understood and accepted yes?

I have written out a short message, but still feel rather hesitant that it could only be pointless to probe it... but then if I have low expectations then that's fine I wouldn't be disappointed? It wouldn't be a huge deal.

So I asked is it ready to send?
64.2, 4 > 23

64 again! Line 2 seems to speak of not being the right time, but line 4 says to silence misgivings and the possibility of future rewards?
And then 23 - would you read as saying not to take action and 'remain quiet'? (Wilhelm) Or to send it out, and then strip away thoughts of him (at least I would have done something and wouldn't regret just leaving it!) Or time to strip away doubts?
Or make the message shorter in some way? Or just leave the whole thing as the time has not come for action?

But if I leave it too long, the whole thing will lose relevance and the connection would be forgotten.
What would you do in light of this answer??
Would really appreciate a pointer if you have any initial impressions of where this could go, and whether It'd be appropriate to make a little more of this??

Thanks
:bows:
 

my_key

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So I asked is it ready to send?
64.2, 4 > 23
Hi em-ching

Wow !!! You seem to be really getting the IC engaged on this issue. It obviously means a great deal to you to make the right choices here.

This is telling you to hold your horses- the time is not quite right....right for what? You might like to ask yourself what you are really trying to achieve here. Patience is important as well as aligning your actions with your long term goals. Your own needs and developments.
This is not an easy time for you and you are having a lot of inner turmoil. The choices can focus on you and your future rather than following those you have made out of habit in the past.

23 - Is again saying that you are in for a bit of a roller-coaster, things pulling you in opposite directions . There is not much you can do about it, you just need to tough this one out and avoid action.

Love and Blessings

Mike
 

em ching

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Thanks.
Ok so do you think hex 64 is referring to the fact that I will get over this soon enough?
As in, after a few days the encounter will lose significance and that'll be that? Succesful end through allowing completion - that it was a self contained thing that is nearing its end in my head? (Funnlily enough I asked the Yi what the night had in store and received 30.4 : It flames out, dies down, iss thrown away'!! Exactly what happened! Something nice which can't last.. ah well.

I suppose that makes sense, and yes if I was thinking about reality (rather than getting carried away by romantic notions) it couldn't really grow.. as he is friends with someone I live with, but won't be living with for much longer, so there aren't favourable conditions to encourage the relationship... and he lives elsewhere (though I am considering moving to where he lives at some point down the line) But probably by then I and he will have moved on.. new people experiences, time passing etc.... So I suppose I just need to remember not to think so much about it: 35.5 > don't take good times and bad times to heart... and try not to cling to good times past...

Ah well... Just thought that with 38.5 the Yi was encouraging me to make a bit of contact, so that there'd be chance of a continued connection or sharing things? But then I guess he, as a guy, is probably more practical and wouldn't see the point :rolleyes:

:bows:
 

em ching

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The choices can focus on you and your future rather than following those you have made out of habit in the past.
You're right Mike I should probably heed what you say there... if I contacted him, it would just end up dragging out the reality of the fact that there are too many obstacles and in the long term, it couldn't play out - wrong time and place I guess :( I shouldn't keep going ahead blindly after people - when most of the signs point to no :eek:

I suppose 38.5 is saying it'd do no harm to take the initiative and communicate, to show that I was interested, but it could to more damage than good if I pin any hopes on it? Or that it'd take effort, so perhaps, as you said it wouldn't do me any good long term.

Thanks for the advice. I will try not to allow myself to fantasise :rofl:
I asked the Yi 'Do I 'fall in love' too easily?'
34.2 > 55

Not sure exactly but perhaps it's saying that I shouldn't rely so heavily on others to elevate me and try to elevate myself... or remain stable...
Lise: 'The strength to make your own mind true and positive in all circumstances is a greater power than having power over something or someonelse '

So perhaps saying romantic love should be kept in proportion - not the be all and end all - and perhaps even if I did have it, it wouldn't make me happy and strong in myself forever.. that comes from you (as they keep saying) :rolleyes:

:bows:
 

diamanda

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My two yen :)

Should I initiate a bit of contact? (in cyberspace) 64.3,4,5 > 57
Find common friends (in cyberspace? myspace or facebook..?).
Put in great effort in this, and be yourself. And then leave it up to
him after that. "A bit of contact" will not be enough, you need something
stronger in this case it seems.

What does he think? 35.5 >12

He has given up already, he feels it's impossible.

Does he have any intentions? 59.1>61
Nope... he won't come after you if you leave things to him.

But if I left it, how could it grow? 35.5>12 again!!
Well, it wouldn't... :-/

I have thought to make a small gesture, as I received 38.5>10
Go for it, and after the initial move be careful and tactful.
But it will have to be a lot more than "a small gesture".

So I asked is it ready to send? 64.2, 4 > 23
"Not yet" (64), "again not yet" (64:2), "you need more 'weapons' to
use here, be more forceful" (??) (64:4), and 23 means don't act till
you get more weapons, whatever that means! You said, "so that
there'd be chance of a continued connection or sharing things" - it
sounds like you're thinking too 'small' here, he seems to need a bit
more of an indication you're interested, and not just some tepid
semi-communication (also indicated in 38:5, and twice 64:4). What
seems to be needed here is "friends' support" and "inner truth",
showing much more to him, and not just a tiny bit of semi-interest.

'Do I 'fall in love' too easily?' 34.2 > 55
Well obviously ;) This answer is telling you that you're just fine as
you are (34), also advising you to control yourself, when the affair
(any affair) is still in its initial stages (34:2), and 55 means, truly,
don't worry, you'll have abundant opportunities, so even if one tiny
opportunity is gone, worry not, as there will be plenty others. Very
optimistic answer you got there Em!
 

em ching

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Hello,

Thanks Diamanda :)
Yes I was thinking of going down the facebook route and wasn't planning on being forceful/ giving much away so probs no point...
Also, if I was better friends with our mutual friend then perhaps that's where the 'friends support' would come in encouraging things.. but as it is we are not close and when I move out of here don't expect to stay in touch :/ There's also friction between us really, though it's ok on the surface, we just have very different natures and outlooks, and today I asked (because I sensed some bad feeling this morn for some reason) What is her problem?
Hex 49 unchanging
Seems to speak of conflicting people, and the need to shed away negative influences..
Do you think it suggests I shouldn't take on board negative feeling from her? Or perhaps just illustrating that there is a bit of a battle going on (though under the surface) that will soon be revolutionised? (ie by me moving out?)
Hmm... probably.

Ah well I will keep this in mind:

'Do I 'fall in love' too easily?' 34.2 > 55
Well obviously This answer is telling you that you're just fine as
you are (34), also advising you to control yourself, when the affair
(any affair) is still in its initial stages (34:2), and 55 means, truly,
don't worry, you'll have abundant opportunities, so even if one tiny
opportunity is gone, worry not,
as there will be plenty others. Very
optimistic answer you got there Em!


Yes I have let the idea go now (as advised initially anyway by 35.5). And thanks for the encouragement above :)
:bows:
 

em ching

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Hello - So many Wow Aha! readings it's making my heart swell - feeling like there's a benevolent smile coming from the Yi recently! Feeling far calmer and less controlled by anxieties and desires :bows: Granted I don't expect this feeling of contentment to last forever but I do feel relief :)
Buddhism: 'Desires are just illusions; they can never be satisfied because the world changes all the time' (From 'Around the World in 80 faiths' new BBC series)

Anyway, before I gush too much, just a little update. There was some cyber space (vicarious) contact, so I thought what the hey, I'll send him a message, just because I felt common ground and wanted to comment on something. Before sending I asked if I should and received 28.6 > 44.6

So to me that was saying go ahead but bear in mind the risk of water over your head :rolleyes: Sometimes ya just gotta be impulsive for the fun of it, never mind the possible humiliation (which would only be minor anyway and as my heart isn't riding on it it wouldn't matter) So I did so.. decided to get a bit wet!

I also asked how he would take it:
15.6 > 52.6
Hmm.. possibly won't know what to say back or where to take it.. But then perhaps also, flattered that I communicated and feeling like he didn't expect it?

I then asked, because in messages/ writing etc I am often quite wordy and maybe too strong with the 'wittisisms' (Perhaps to make up for my shyness and inability to be quite so wordy outside in real audible life :rofl:

I asked, Is being too wordy a bad habit of mine?
(You may have noticed on this site I can let my fingers run away with me on the keyboard :rolleyes:

41.1 > 4.1
wOW : 'Only when such delicacy of feeling exists can one give oneself unconditionally and without hesitation'
Perhaps saying I need to establish the friendships more first, before I get carried away (as alluded to by Diamanda : advising you to control yourself, when the affair
(any affair) is still in its initial stages (34:2),


It then goes on to address the issue so directly!: '... and without bragging or making too much of it' (Wilhelm) But that it is 'unselfish and good when a man, after completing his own urgent tasks, uses his strength in the service of others'
...'But one must reflect on how much one may decrease others'
(Ie by bombarding them with words)

4.1 Also speaks of learning self discipline, but 'discipline should not degenerate into drill which cripples a man's powers'

So seems to be saying yes there needs to be a balance and I need to be mindful that I'm not too enthusisastic and giving too much away : 'If the one above should mae inconsiderate demands the joy of giving felt by the one below would be decreased'

So perhaps in light of my message, if he's not as inclined to write etc,he may not know what to say back to match, because I've said a lot...

But then, if wordiness is my nature then as Lise says 'Enjoy the life (ie writing) he gave you' and 4.1 > 'Learning can be fun'
daolatse site: 41.1 : No blame but you must not assume too much responsibility for others lest you deprive them of their dignity and a chance to advance through their own efforts (Hope I didn't make him feel that way!) and 'avoid self-righteousness'
and then this I liked 4.1 Discipline is needed but 'boring routines which choke off creativity should be avoided'

Wow so amazd by the relevance! So really wanted to share it here.
Also am feeling that hex 49 re. my friend could just be saying try to revolutionise/ molt away the bad feeling (though acknowleging that there is a conflict between opposing natures)

:):bows:
 

em ching

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Well he has replied, sweetly but won't be a continual correspondence I think...
Just a case of if our paths cross again, but likelihood is probs not.. but still!.. :)
(Hope I'm not boring you to death with this mini minor saga)

:bows:
 

Trojina

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Em Ching I wish i had never mentioned use of the fan yao to you..i think you have wrong end of the stick as you seem to be reading the advice in the fan yao as the advice to follow also. It isn't, it is the very opposite of the advice you need to follow. Saying it is the very opposite is a clumsy way of putting it but the way i understand it the fan yao is like a mirror reflection of the line you got, it is the other way around, the reverse. The use for it I see is if you don't get the line you receive the fan yao by showing you the reverse of it may lead you to understand the line you got ...sometimes, i don't think its always that way. So I don't think for 41.1 you then also take on board the advice for 4.1. 4.1 is the opposite of the advice you take...by seeing somethings opposite you may know it better perhaps.

I stand to be corrected, I'm pretty hazy myself but i think somehow I've misled you and now you are reading the fan yao as if it were the advice to follow where its the reverse of that...so don't act on what 4.1 tells you to do..4.1 is the reverse of the advice you need to go with

I can't explain it any better
 

em ching

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Ok, yeah the first line should be taken into account first - makes sense - and with 15.6 I did somehow think he would reply, whereas if I received 52.6 then I'd have thought he wouldn't... but I think things now could be more characterised by 52.6 - because the communication has now come to a mutual standstill.

I read somewhere that when you get one moving line you should read the first as things as they are, and then the fan yao as the sliding slope of where it could go... Perhaps if you don't take the advice of the first moving line, or once it has played out... So in that mode it should be taken into account, perhaps as another issue that can spring from the first line.

Would you read 41.1 as a bit of a warning, saying, yes I do need to decrease how much I say to others sometimes so as not to bombard or seem too 'in your face', but I should also express my ideas or thoughts where appropriate.. by bearing in mind the relation with, and character of, the person in question?

I think that's what it was saying :rolleyes:
And that getting this balance between giving and taking right is a part of learning about relationships and being a creative individual (4.6). By holding back you show that you don't know it all, and are not being presumptious about the other person.
 

Trojina

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Ok, yeah the first line should be taken into account first - makes sense - and with 15.6 I did somehow think he would reply, whereas if I received 52.6 then I'd have thought he wouldn't... but I think things now could be more characterised by 52.6 - because the communication has now come to a mutual standstill.

I read somewhere that when you get one moving line you should read the first as things as they are, and then the fan yao as the sliding slope of where it could go... Perhaps if you don't take the advice of the first moving line, or once it has played out... So in that mode it should be taken into account, perhaps as another issue that can spring from the first line.

Would you read 41.1 as a bit of a warning, saying, yes I do need to decrease how much I say to others sometimes so as not to bombard or seem too 'in your face', but I should also express my ideas or thoughts where appropriate.. by bearing in mind the relation with, and character of, the person in question?

I think that's what it was saying :rolleyes:
And that getting this balance between giving and taking right is a part of learning about relationships and being a creative individual (4.6). By holding back you show that you don't know it all, and are not being presumptious about the other person.
I can see you still don't see what i mean...i never heard of the sliding slope theory..52.6 wasn't your answer and i don't think theres much need to take it into account other than it throws light on yur actual answer sometimes....

i don't see 41.1 as a warning exactly..although its a line i generally can find no meaning in my own answers. It seems to state the obvious as 'when you've done what you need to do move on' or in your case' say what you need to say then go'. Karcher says 'discussing diminishes it' so it would seem less is more...and less is always more with 41 . Perhaps its simply when you've said what you need to say, when the message has been conveyed theres no need to rehash it or reframe it
 

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