Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
My immediate situation is this: I went to HR at a new job after an older man started acting out the aggression typical of male hazing/initiation to me in subtle ways. I simply said I am sensitive to this sort of behavior, I understand it is mostly considered normal, but for me it is not.
In the blink of an eye I was moved to working under him, and get this: the supervisor between us is a transwoman who decided that I must be trans since I didn't want to play the game of masculine challenge with a coworker.
It sounds in this current thread as if you are a woman being harassed by a male?I work a low paying job as someone who loads small lumber orders onto customer’s trucks. When I do a load for a contractor I am reminded that I haven’t committed to learning any skills in life that would make me valuable to society. When I do a load for a couple working on their own house I am reminded that I have not found material success nor romantic love. I don’t have close friends or family members that I can talk to or get ahold of except on a very inconsistent and unreliable basis, probably because that is the way in which I commit to personal relationships.
I made a lot of dumb choices when I was young and unconscious, specifically going AWOL from the army after three years and a combat deployment and robbing myself of any benefits my service would have given me, and I flunked out of school to the point that I owe thousands of dollars to a collection agency on top of student loans, with no degree to show for it. I feel like I have painted myself into a corner with no escape.I’d like to get a therapist or an analyst to help, but I can’t afford even the most basic health insurance plans.
I didn't go back and update the old threads because I have no footing on which to explain how the situation has developed, other than to say both inwardly and outwardly it feels like things are getting worse. I added an update to one thread and I'm not even sure I could say that is what I think or how I feel about it.
...so you are aware of it.I have posted on this forum a few times before in moments of desperation, but I don't think returned the gift properly in terms of thought, attention, and updates. I will do my best to do better this time.
I think it's a very clear answer especially 41.1 which asks you not to linger to get on with work.I asked the oracle what the members of this forum could help me understand about this situation that I don't see, I received Hexagram 41, "Decrease" according to Wilhelm, with changing lines 1 and 5 making 59, "Dispersion."
This transperson also embodies in many ways the devouring mother archetype: she has a huge need for control and attention, and she does not want to allow anyone outside of her control to work around her. She would rather eat "her babies" instead of letting them go!
What do you want me to tell you in those posts that I have not said here? I can't even say that I still believe in the one update that I did post. How am I supposed to update a thread when I don't understand the situation I am in, and the bottom falls out on me every time I reach what I think might be a new stable base?Sorry, I wasn't intending to accuse you of lying exactly it's just I genuinely couldn't connect the dots between who you were in previous readings and I took it you were female here. It is quite a confusing post to follow.
The problem is not that you don't go back to update old threads but that you often just don't come back to acknowledge them at all or you come back 8 months later when you want to post more readings.
Anyway you have said
...so you are aware of it.
Actually, no I don't fully understand your first post even after reading it several times. It is quite complicated, at least I find it so. There's a lot going on and to keep in my head who is who is quite hard. I don't even understand the above quote. You were '...harassed by a trans woman who misgendered me as also trans or non binary'.......for older people like me all this stuff is new, we have to think twice about it. In my world it's still relatively easy to spot who is male and who is female and 'misgendering' is something I have never encountered.Honestly, if you're thoughtful enough to keep all of that in mind, I don't believe you managed to misinterpret this post when I mention very clearly and explicitly that I was harassed by a trans woman who misgendered me as also trans or non binary.
So it's not about me not understanding it's all about me trying to make you doubt yourself? That's not true, I don't really understand your situation. If I sat and read it another 3 times I might but it's a nice day outside.I don't believe this post is confusing or hard to follow, it's just a strange situation. Why are you attempting to make me doubt my ability to communicate?
I know why you are responding this way, I wish you understood the level of psychological distress I am under right now.Crossed posts. I have just written a post answering your actual reading.
Actually, no I don't fully understand your first post even after reading it several times. It is quite complicated, at least I find it so. There's a lot going on and to keep in my head who is who is quite hard. I don't even understand the above quote. You were '...harassed by a trans woman who misgendered me as also trans or non binary'.......for older people like me all this stuff is new, we have to think twice about it. In my world it's still relatively easy to spot who is male and who is female and 'misgendering' is something I have never encountered.
So it's not about me not understanding it's all about me trying to make you doubt yourself? That's not true, I don't really understand your situation. If I sat and read it another 3 times I might but it's a nice day outside.
I'm not consciously trying to teach you anything.I recognize the lesson you are trying to teach me, and I recognize my own inability to integrate that lesson in time to save myself or anyone else.
If you are schizophrenic your best option as you know is to make sure you take/continue the medication as without that life is indeed hellish. I see that in those I have known with this affliction.My choices right now are between totally abandoning myself and my own life to wander around as a schizophrenic homeless person, institutionalizing myself, and ending my life prematurely.
But you have gotten this far successfully so you have achieved a great deal more than many. I don't think I'd agree you agreed to have schizophrenia but I guess some people do think it's some kind of spiritual agreement.I feel that I agreed to do this Work when I was very young and did not understand what I was asking for. It was a grave mistake that is visited on me daily.
I am not diagnosed with schizophrenia, because I am not able to get mental health help. Something blocks me every time I try.I looked at your readings here in post 9 if you have seen that.
I'm not consciously trying to teach you anything.
If you are schizophrenic your best option as you know is to make sure you take/continue the medication as without that life is indeed hellish. I see that in those I have known with this affliction.
But you are working, you have a job so that means you've been functioning very well on your medication presumably. You've become sidetracked with concerns about other staff there. Yi advises you keep it really simple. You just go and do your work, take the medication and recognise when, as I'm sure you do sometimes, there's some paranoia happening. I'm not saying your current issues are paranoia as I really wouldn't know but if that's an aspect of your illness that crops up you can't really be dealing with extra interpersonal stress - though yes I know we've had that here.
But you have gotten this far successfully so you have achieved a great deal more than many. I don't think I'd agree you agreed to have schizophrenia but I guess some people do think it's some kind of spiritual agreement.
Thanks for explaining the situation with your mental health.
In the UK if you have debts you cannot pay off there are debt relief charities that can advise you so you could actually just write off your debts possibly with a 'debt relief order'.Right now everything is hanging in suspension. I am in more debt than it seems possible to ever pay off with the wages I am capable of making, and I can't stand most jobs as a matter of being sensitive to people's cruelty, and I am unemployed. Strange coincidences are happening all around me.
That's good news if they can see you this Friday and get you the right medication which should make life a lot less traumatic for you. Once you have the right medication it should be easier for other things to fall into place.The next day the psychiatrist I had made an appointment with for August to finally get help called me and said they could move me up to Friday.
I thought the above question was about the work situation but you've leftI asked the oracle what the members of this forum could help me understand about this situation that I don't see, I received Hexagram 41, "Decrease" according to Wilhelm, with changing lines 1 and 5 making 59, "Dispersion."
I no longer have a job. They treated me as crazy after I went to HR, they searched my belongings and left them tossed on the desk to send the message that they did not believe me and that they would do anything and everything to intimidate me out of working there.
The next day I sent them an email saying I quit voluntarily and I don't want anything from them. I don't really know why I did that, it was like a compulsion and didn't fit with what I had said I was going to do the next day.
Perhaps it would be better not to consult the I Ching at the moment. More engagement with oracles and spirituality may not be the best thing right now if you are already struggling to get a grip on realityAll the oracle ever tells me to do anymore is sit in it. It hints all the time that I'm supposed to do something and I don't know what it is.
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).