surpised by attraction

[goddessliss]

Hello,
Yesterday I met with a man I had communicated with via internet dating.
I knew it was a meeting that was meant to take place as I had resisted initially but intuition kept telling me to actually meet him in person.
It was obvious we were drawn to each other immediately and spent the next 9 hours together with little intimacy except holding hands and a couple of hugs when we parted.
For me I was quite taken by surprise at that I had actually met someone I would become attracted to and had only really decided to try internet dating to see where I was at on the level of relationships after having had my heart broken previously.
This man told me he wld like to see me again but also wld be seeing other women he had met/was to meet via the dating sight.
I said I wld like to see him again too but it wld have to be an exclusive relationship without him seeing others.
He said fair enough but he left undecided about what he wanted to do.
My question to the IChing was
Why have I drawn this situation with x to me?
I received 61.2.4.6>17

Incidentally I have had contact with other men through the internet dating but felt no attraction or particular interest in them.
thks for your insight
Blessings, Melissa

 

[dobro p]

Why have I drawn this situation with x to me?
I received 61.2.4.6>17

60's inner truth and 17's following. Put 'em together: you've drawn this situation to you cuz it's your inner truth, what you call 'intuition', and you're drawn to follow it. And this despite the Yi having warned you away from the internet dating thing before. So, it's your inner truth and you're following it, but it doesn't mean it's a good thing in terms of happiness and fulfilment. I mean, he told you on Date 1 that he was pursuing other women, right? So if you follow this and get attached again and heartbroken again, he can just say 'I told you from the get go I was into other women' and you go 'right' and that's that. So there's something in you that's drawn to this sort of thing, or which is drawing this sort of relationship to you.

I work with a woman who keeps drawing guys who are emotionally abusive. Her way of dealing with the whole issue of relationship now, after the most recent instance of an abusive boyfriend who she had to let go of, is to pay more attention to the next guy she's drawn to and to make sure before she commits her heart and her body that he's not an abuser. ('Next time, I'll date him thirty times before the first kiss.') I suggested to her that she was putting the focus of her attention outside herself on the guy rather than on the inside of her where the dynamic was creating the situation in the first place, but she didn't feel comfortable with that. And no wonder, right? Cuz if she looks inside herself for the source of the problem, she'll see stuff that's not pleasant to behold. I mean, what kind of woman keeps drawing abusers? But you know what? Until she starts looking at that stuff, until she starts shining light on the stuff inside her which at present is free to operate in the darkness, she will continue not to be free of it, and the pattern will continue to repeat itself.

Sometimes you gotta get really sick of a situation and ready to do anything before you find the energy to go inside where it's coming from, where it's all happening. She'll get there eventually, cuz that's how life works. But how long will it take?

 

[Trojina]

But its quite normal if you do any kind of dating programme thing to see several men/women at once in the early stages, before you narrowed the field down a bit, theres nothing wrong with that. I think he was merely being honest not 'emotionally abusive' ! Good grief he only met her once he doesn't owe her anything does he ?

I'd think it unreasonable to expect him not to see any other women when he only met her once

Why would faithfulness be demanded after one date when both parties are knowingly looking for dates...and why would anyone narrow their possibilites down after one date ?

I know i wouldn't.....well unless it was you Dobro... but your're married anyway so....

sorry to discuss you Goddess . I didn't really understand your question ? I mean you drew the situation to you because you did internet dating, thats what its designed for. Not sure what aspect of the situation you mean really ? Did you think it wrong that he said he needed to think about being exclusive to you at this stage ? Everyones different i guess, seems perfectly okay to me...after 9 hours one can hardly stake a claim on someone can one ? And surely it might be rather off putting to them if you do because they might get the message you are being possessive. I think if you want this to develop its better to let it be a bit looser at this stage

I see a good start in 61.2 and over reaching in 61.6. I think asking for exclusivity at this first meeting the 61.6 ..over playing your hand, come back to earth

 

[goddessliss]

Sometimes you gotta get really sick of a situation and ready to do anything before you find the energy to go inside where it's coming from, where it's all happening.

Yes this is exactly right Dobro. I am not into game playing especially if there is chemistry straight away. However if you are just looking for friends that is a whole different story.
There are personal issues relative to this, which I worked out through this exercise, which yes I have come across before but not dealt with.
Regardless of that however, when we were younger and met someone we didn't keep looking, we dated that person exclusively and saw where it went, well at least I did and my boyfriend/s at the time did too, so why wld it be different now. It wld do your head and heart in emotionally I think.
I did talk to him again about the situation, we agreed to disagree and decided to go our seperate ways.
I feel more comfortable knowing what's going on rather than wondering.

 

[goddessliss]

haha now this guy contacted me too what the hell is going on here?? The only thing I am getting from it is recognising how far I have come in terms of myself....well in some ways anyway.

 

[foxx777]

haha now this guy contacted me too what the hell is going on here?? The only thing I am getting from it is recognising how far I have come in terms of myself....well in some ways anyway.

Seems to work this way: The stronger we are, the less we are needy or care about a situation, the more it will come to us. While when we are pining for something, needing it and desiring it, and obsessed by it, it recedes further and further into the distance

 

[goddessliss]

Seems to work this way: The stronger we are, the less we are needy or care about a situation, the more it will come to us. While when we are pining for something, needing it and desiring it, and obsessed by it, it recedes further and further into the distance

Interesting point - after I went to bed last night I though wow I used to obsess a lot about the truck driver and I was quite hurt by this other guy not extremely but you know but of course I was still reeling a lot from marriage breakup. Now I find them both quite immature really. I guess i hindsight it was about my rejection issues.

G is still away fortunately and although I miss him it is giving me the time I need (thankyou Universe) in my art therapy class last week we did a 5 miute meditation and it brought up the hurt in my heart from this relationship with G but I am allowing myself to feel the pain and shed the tears this time round cause I understand better about healing now. I also have the feeling he realises we can't go back to how it's been between us and he is dealing with whatever he needs to too.
Can't imagine we will hang out much anymore sad but good to clear the way for me.

hope everything is sorting in your world too