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The dreaded 44 (changing to 22) -- pigs and fish and melons, oh my!

suzy

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Hello, everyone! I've been enjoying the site for months, and finally got around to joining today. I was moved to action by a particularly mystifying reading, about which I simply MUST ask people's advice. Any help will be greatly appreciated.

A little background: I've just turned 40 and am in the midst of effecting a major life change. I'm leaving a successful, lucrative, yet soul-destroying career in IT to pursue a dream (or actually several dreams) -- writing, getting my Ph.D. in history, and starting my own home-based design business. I am also -- hang on -- going to get myself artificially inseminated (no hubby) and have child(ren). It sounds like a mid-life crisis, and perhaps it is -- but it's not a sudden whim. I sort of made a bargain with myself a few years ago that I would continue on the conventional path (good corporate job, dating men with an eye towards marriage and "normal" family) until 40 to see how things went. If by age 40 the conventional path hadn't led me where I wanted to be (emotionally, etc.), I would jump ship and paddle my own, eccentric little canoe.

The great thing is that my parents are behind me on this. Well, it alarms them, but they love me, respect my deepest wishes, and have great faith in my ability to pretty much accomplish anything in life I set my mind to. They have invited me to come live with them for a few years while I write/study/nurse babies. They've just bought a lovely new house on 5 acres of land (their final retirement home), and there is room for me in the house to have a bedroom/sitting room/bath of my own. However, I'm a middle-aged person and am quite accustomed to having my own home. For heaven's sake, I'm 40 years old -- and I'm going to live with my parents? A more attractive idea is to build a guest cottage on the property and live in that. My father and brother also think that would be a delightful solution. (My mother apparently wants me in the house with her!)

But how do I afford to build the cottage? I'll probably realize $30k profit from the sale of my current house, but is it smart to put that into the cottage? (I've also got some stock and retirement savings). After all, I'll need some capital to start my business. I'll need some money to go back to school (above and beyond loans). And technically I won't actually OWN the cottage -- my parents' land is not subdividable. So the money I put into it will be essentially gone, unrealizable until the property is sold (probably not until my parents' demise).

So, finally (if you're still with me), we get to the I Ching reading. I asked, "how do I afford to build the cottage?" And I get hexagram 44 with 1,2,4, and 5 changing to hex 22. Huh?

Part of my confusion is that hexagram 44 has always been rather opaque to me. I understand what it's about (I think), but this business about temptation and fleeting attractions and all that doesn't feel like a fit. Other questions to the I Ching about the wisdom of my general plan have received outstandingly positive readings (14, 46). Viewing 44 in a more positive light -- power of the woman, giving birth, etc. -- seems more on target, but I still am not sure what the point is here. It doesn't seem to be answering my question. However, with so much going on in my life, the Yi may be going into override mode and trying to comment on something else.

I asked the same question (how to build the cottage) several days ago, and got 33/23. I'm getting the feeling the I Ching doesn't think too much of building a cottage!!! (But the overall plan it seems to love.)

Sorry for such a hideously long post. Any thoughts on my reading?
 
C

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Hi Suzy,

Your post was open and honest. I appreciate that.

Overall, I tend to agree with your overview that Yi encourages movement toward your goals, but that the cottage idea seems somehow out of kilter. You have stated that from an investment point of view, its a no win.

Be certain of one thing, just because you've acquired money and things, there's no assurance that the opportunity to acquire these things again will present itself, especially when moving in a direction of self fulfillment on a deeper level. Being frugal may make much sense.

Also, you might take a closer look at what the driving force is behind the plan. Being completely honest with yourself about it is the best way. How much objectivity is involved and how much passion? Wilhelm puts forth: passion and reason can't live side by side. One decreases to the other's increase. "Make your commands known." I'd add, select your commander carefully.

Another possibility here is that there will be changes coming before completion of the cottage plan, which will then be taken into account.

Perhaps its best to let go of the idea, if only for a short while. That which is your own will return to you anyway. If its meant to be, it will be. If its not meant to be, insisting on going in that direction would only cause you to lose your peace.

I hope this was a little helpful. It is a tough reading to apply, admittedly.

Candid
 

suzy

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Hello, Candid, and thank you! Yes, that is helpful. After writing my post, and then reading your comments, it started to seem rather clear that the cottage idea may be what in law they call an "attractive nuisance." It is certainly extremely appealing to me, a sort of romantic idea -- my little studio in the woods -- but using my limited resources that way just might not be smart.

On the other hand, I asked the I ching if it would be better to just live in the house with Mom and Dad for the time being -- and got 63/29! That, to me, is a very ominous reading. Scary, scary.

So what's the deal? I'm quite sure that the plan overall is good, and very much the right thing to do in my life right now -- and that includes the part about living in my parents house or on their land while I study and raise children. The family is enthusiastic, I'm enthusiastic, and we all agree that everything seems to dovetail together in just the right way(more details than I've written here, but the mix includes the prospective babies, our dogs, the local university, my Mom wanting me with her, Dad's retirement, my business, etc., etc.)
 

gene

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Hi Suzy

With that many changing lines, they answers often become much more complex. However, I do think there is a partial answer to your question in the relating hexagram #22. Hexagram 22 is talking about ornaments, and grace, things that add a touch of beauty to a situation. However, in the image, it says, "...but he dare not decide controversial issues in this way." In other words, the question is too big, and requires a greater study. The I Ching in a sense is throwing the question back to you and saying, "Do your homework." The governing line of hexagram 44 says, "hidden lines." In other words, there are many problems involved to be worked out. Hexagram 44 often deals with situations where there is a lack of money. However, line two says the money is there, line four says it is not. Line one says, "It must be checked with of brake of bronze." Bronze can sometimes relate to money. The I Ching is not totally negative on this situation, but is saying, there is a lot more to it than you presently realize, at least I think this is the answer.

Gene
 

suzy

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Thanks, Gene! That's fantastic.

I told you I had trouble with 44. That hexagram is about as slippery as a tomato seed. Of course the whole Yi is a wonderful structure of yin/yang tension and balance, wheels within wheels, transformation and reversion, etc., etc. -- but 44 strikes me as particularly impossible to pin down. I have six different translation/commentaries here and they all have a different take on it. Is it because 44 is about passion and passion is inherently volatile?

I did NOT know that 44 often referred to lack of money -- thank you, Gary! I love your overall interpretation -- "do your homework"! Actually, putting yours and Candid's remarks together, the I Ching is starting to sound exactly like my mother. Mom says (here's a pretty much verbatim quote), "Well, yes, honey, that would be wonderful, and I know you want to do that, but there is a lot involved and you need to look at all the angles. It may NOT be the wisest choice-- you need to look into everything very carefully."
 

gene

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Hi Suzi

The I Ching often has images that are multidimensional, and I often pull my hair out trying to find sources that will give me more information on the deeper meanings. I ran across the money aspect by accident a month or two ago. On the one hand, the fishes referred to often have to do with guests, invited or uninvited, on the other hand they can refer to money. No fish in the tank can indicate a lack of resources. A fish in the tank indicates that there is at least one small resource, financial or otherwise. Who knows what else they can refer to, depending on the question of course. If we try to take the I Ching too literally, we run into problems quite often. I will have to say though, sometimes I am amazed about just how literal it is.

Gene
 

suzy

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I hear you on that. Just yesterday afternoon I asked about my parents' cat Oscar Rose (female), who was dying of inoperable cancer. The vet was on the way in his car to euthanize her there at the house and then carry her body away. Terrible decision for my Dad, but past time -- Oscar's tongue had started to go gangrene. Anyway, got 7 changing to 18. Heavens. Corpses in the wagon, time to cut away what is spoiled and cross the great water. I'll say.

P.S. After crying fit, later asked I Ching what awaited Oscar after death. 34/21! Great vigor indeed, and I was instantly reminded of a thread I'd read on this site about 34 having to do with birth. Vigor and rebirth for the cat? Would love to think so.
 

david

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There is a bold, easy temptation or seduction evident in the situation. Do not underestimate the strength this dalliance will demand. There is danger indicated in compulsive action toward this heavy temptation. One needs to take a meeting halfway approach. Therefore one must be firm in their inner belief of what is correct and aware of what is essential. Line one seems to indicate getting control of your ego and maintaining self discipline. Line two indicates there being something adequate but not enough for the situation. Line four again indicates that by continuing there will not even be adequate left. Line five indicates there are resources available that require nurturing for the future. To apply this more to your question, what is indicated here to me, is to avoid the lure of the cottage at the present time and concentrate on your inner self discipline. There seems to be a need to be fair in your approach to your parents through communication, which will help you overcome the stigma you have attached to being forty and living at home. (It's not all that unusual and highly logical if you ask me). The course you have chosen is a wonderful path for the children who will come. I will assume through interaction with the I Ching you will be able to maintain your 'space' and still live with your parents. There are concessions indicated but sticking to what you feel is right will lead to grace and beauty for the situation. I see a bright future where you have children and your parents help you (believe me one day you will be glad there are so close) and your children receive the balance and wisdom of their elders. Perhaps in the near future with foresight and reserve you could add on to the house or somehow change things to suit what you find are your needs as the situations develop. But I would say definitely do not rush into any decisions right now.
 

binz

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Hi Suzy

re Mid Life Crisis, I don't think there is such a thing.
I like to think of it as a Mid Life Awakening.

After doing what is expected for several years, we sooner or later see that we can have a happier life by following our own hearts desires instead of working to meet the expectations placed upon us (by our upbringing, society, our ego, etc).
This is not a crisis, but a great awakening to who we really are.

Binz
(currently going through his mid life awakening too)
 

louise

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I don't understand why conception here seems to be regarded as something that will happen if desired ? It seems unwise to totally count on children as part of the plan - they don't come to order. Although the question is about the cottage, 44 may be referring to baby plans. Its much harder to conceive at 40 than at 30 anyway.
 

suzy

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David: You've taken my breath away. What a beautiful reading. I'm thrilled by your insights -- you've given me a lot to mull over. Thank you so much for this generous, spiritually loving reading.

Binz: Bless you! Yes, I consider it an awakening too -- or really a birthing of my true self, too long repressed. I'm not the slightest bit embarrased about it -- just bemused when I explain it to others because they usually look at me like I've escaped from the circus! I wish you much luck with your awakening, too.

Louise: Thanks for the level-headed realism -- and of course I realise I can't make a baby to order. I should say that my plan is to TRY to get pregnant. I have asked the I Ching specifically about the motherhood thing several times, and have received consistently positive responses. Of course, at 40, I've definitely missed my prime, and perhaps my chance. I'm well aware it may no longer be physically possible. That is the price I pay for having bowed to traditional mores for so long. I should have done this when I was younger, but kept thinking there really ought to be a proper father in the picture! Actually I came to the conclusion a few years back that, while husbands/fathers are wonderful, I wouldn't let the lack of a male figure deprive me of motherhood (praise be to modern medicine!). My idea is to instead raise my children in a supportive family community of loving elders -- as David saw.

Thank you all for your help. What lovely people you all are! I wouldn't have thought so much insight could come out of ol' 44!
 

suzy

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I simply must add one more thing in response to David's reading. David, you interpret line 5 as referring to "resources available that require nurturing for the future." When I read that a gong went off. You see, part of my assets are in a retirement plan, and I've been looking into whether I should borrow against that or even withdraw some funds. The usual advice is to NEVER do that -- there's a heavy tax penalty -- but in certain situations it can be a smart move. At any rate, I've been looking into the pros and cons. Until I read David's post, I had never related line 5's shaded melons to this -- but suddenly it seems so clear. Of course! let the melons grow on in the shade so they can reach their proper ripeness -- i.e, let my retirement money continue to grow tax-deferred, don't mess with it yet. Now it seems so obvious, but I swear I never saw it.
 

heylise

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The expression 'fish in the wrapping' (or container or whatever is the translation) refers to a baby! Line 2: not entertaining guests when you are pregnant. But the character for guest, bin, is also the name of a rite to introduce a bride to the family. After a trial period, in which she still can be sent back, the bin rite makes her a member of the family.
Line 5: not (getting) pregnant,beginning of pitfalls. This one is a difficult one, and the corresponding line in hex.57 does not give any easy clues either.
Both melon and fish are fecundity symbols.
Sorry I have not more time, but I thought this might be important.
Namaste
LiSe
 

suzy

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LiSe -- thank you for that. I had already looked at 44 on your website (always good for a fresh perspective - thank you!) and contemplated the baby, er, fish in the wrapping. Viewed from that angle, it does seem the answer has to do with the pregnancy.

However, let me throw something out here. Originally I had thought this was a case of the Yi going into override and answering a different or larger question. And many of you seem tempted to think the same. I now wonder, though, if in fact the answer I'm being given is quite specifically in response to my very specific question.

Recall: I did NOT ask if I SHOULD build a cottage. Much less did I ask if I SHOULD have a baby or should pursue this whole life-changing course. I'd already asked those questions, and received highly affirmative replies. (Also, I should clarify that I want/need a cottage regardless of whether a baby comes along.) What I was asking this time was about financial practicalities: "Okay, you say this is all a great idea, but how do I afford it? Financially, how do I build the cottage?" I was concentrating on that very specifically, and simultaneously doubting if the I ching could really offer usable financial advice. (But Hilary asked for help with her marketing plan, so why not?) The financial options I've been considering include: a) using up the proceeds from sale of this house, b) selling my company stock, c) borrowing/taking from my retirement funds , d) asking my Dad to technically borrow for the cottage in his name (since he would technically own anything on his land) with the arrangement being that I would make the payment to him, e) anything else the I Ching could come up with, or f) not doing the cottage right now at all and husbanding my resources (no pun intended).

When I received 44/22, it didn't seem to be on at all. It was David's post that suddenly shocked me into realizing that, just maybe, the Yi is actually obliging my specific question with a specific answer. Not whether I should build a cottage, or leave my job, or have a baby, or any of that -- but specific advice on what to do/not do in terms of money.

Any thoughts?
 

louise

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Hi Suzy, looks like you need to ask Yi about each of the options you listed above, a,b, c and d. What if do a, what if I do b etc. I think you need to break the question down to get more to get a clear picture.
 

david

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Suzy

It is funny you mention this. After I posted that I realized I may have been influenced by the information you presented. Suddenly I was seeing it from a completely different perspective, the very one you mentioned just above. Since I am new to this I can see where it may be easy for that to happen. The question really was, how do I act in order to get the necessary finances. I will give this some more thought, dinner calls!
 

david

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Suzy,

The five lines above the one and the unexpected power capable of overcoming it easily. Two unequal forces meeting. The concession leads to a favourable opportunity to carry through a delicate measure. Remain independent for as long as one can. By joining someone one will be swallowed up. The symbol of the wind rising to the heavens with power. A strong influence comes unexpectedly. All natural things becoming fully displayed. Great indeed is the significnace of the encountering at this time, especially in light of the fact it leads to fire/mountain #22 which also has the sense of brilliance and all things coming into the light.

I still get the sense of some kind of temptation but more in the lines of a make quick-cash scheme to go to Vegas, or something equally alluring in your eyes, for I get the sense it is not going to be an obvious lure.

So then, from my personal point of view, leave the money alone that is already secure, Sell the house and that money would look after your schooling and other plans. Sell your stock, although I have zero knowledge of markets and economy I would suggest this for no other reason than to consolidate your assets. Sit down with your family and discuss family assets and wills etc. and see about getting your father to do it in his name or co-sign a loan or something. After all the bank is only worried about the collateral and that will always be there so it could be possible. This is where the hex I feel is advising you. Lines two and four at play. To work something out here. With extreme caution is the sense I get. Stay on your toes and deliver yourself from temptation.

Can I offer one more observation, you stated;

"simultaneously doubting if the I ching could really offer usable financial advice"

Is line one catching your doubt (for it doesn't seem to be about money) and offering its advice as a result. Put the brakes on Doubting Thomas.

humbly,
David
 

suzy

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David.

You're new at this? Gawd.

Surely you must mean you're new to clarity, or to interpreting for others -- not the I Ching. Surely you've been reading the I Ching for years. You didn't just pick up this 3,000 year old Chinese book and start immediately having this kind of insight. It's not possible.

At any rate, you do have a remarkable gift for this stuff. Once again, you've offered such a rich and persuasive reading that it will take me hours to digest it. Thank you!!!!
 

david

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Suzy,

Yes, new to Clarity and new to interpreting for others. I have been studying for about seven years. I wrote a computer program to build the hexagrams and have spent many years now breaking down the info about each hexagram. Recently I wrote a game that works with html and javascript and have been trying to decipher a message for each hex to finish the game. It is challenging. I am a poet and photographer. I see and write in allegory and metaphor and understand symbols, that might be part of it.

I really must thank you for your very kind words. They have touched my heart and encouraged me to keep going. Thank you for that, really, thank you!

humbly,

David
 

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