The universe hates me

[asci_blue]

Hello once again dear friends, I switched up phrasing and found a new interest and things went well for round one. Today was supposed to be round 2 but she was a no call no show and rather than be angry I'm concerned.

Onto the important stuff:

General diagnoses with her: 18.6 to 46.

My position: 12.1,4 to 42

Her position: 14.3 to 38.

I refrained from action cause I have a feeling I know what it would tell me: Take smaller steps.

 

[willowfox]

"General diagnoses with her: 18.6 to 46.

It seems that there is a lack of involvement in this relationship perhaps she is seeking something better or having second thoughts. But hex 46 says that you could still be lucky if you adapt to the circumstances.

"My position: 12.1,4 to 42

If you cannot get anywhere then call it a day so as not to make a fool of yourself, and if you are after her for purely selfish reasons then you will probably fail but other opportunities will open up for you. Also, now things are staring to improve for you, old problems can be sorted out and new opportunities can be taken advantage of, life starts to flourish. If you have faults now is the time to correct them.

"Her position: 14.3 to 38.

Perhaps she is too interested in herself and it seems that there is an obstacle that lies between you which is causing her to separate from you.

 

[asci_blue]

So far it all makes sense, it's still in the development stage.

On obstacles, is that something that's already here or something that one of us can create? I have to admit when I did this consulting I was a bit irate at the fact she did not call and did not show. Now that I've had time to cool my head I'm more concerned than mad cause I do know she's been in trouble in the past and wonder if that had something to do with this. The only other thing I can think of I won't go into detail here but maybe I need to build more trust and rapport. I did take a pretty huge step for a day 2 so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

 

[jesed]

Hi asci_blue

Just in case the comment could be useful

How can any relation works if you are convinced that everything will have a bad end?

The universe don't hate you; the universe is not playing with you.

There is a common theme in your answers: to have a higher goal.

What can it be this higher goal? to work with yourself; to develop your own personality.

I would dare to suggest you ask for the general diagnosis of your own emotional time.
Best

 

[asci_blue]

I'm sure the universe does not hate me...much. If it did I wouldn't be here now posting these threads, but so far every female I've made an attempt to have any kind of relationship with has flaked on me in some way. The first...well who knows why. This one is only the second and in her case I'm more interested in why than I am anything else.

I do fault myself in part for not really easing her into the situation, so I seriously wonder if she thought I would put forth an effort to seduce her..which I probably would have until yesterday when I learned some things I really wish I hadn't but will pay off in the long run. All that needs to happen now is for her to get back to me so I can set up a viable day 2 and show off how much I rule.

I guess I should figure out what my higher goal is. Is a committed relationship a higher goal or does it need to be higher than that?

 

[dobro p]

I guess I should figure out what my higher goal is. Is a committed relationship a higher goal or does it need to be higher than that?

It depends. If you're flakey and uncommitted, then a committed relationship in which you're reliable for the other person is a higher goal, yeah. But it sounds like, from what you said, that it's usually the other person in your relationships that's uncommitted. So I'd say that even more than commitment, what you need is some self-knowledge. I mean, why do you keep getting involved with these people who are so uncommitted? What is it in you that draws them, and what is it in them that draws you? This is deep territory, but it seems to be territory that you need to explore. Each of us is complex, you understand, with different desires and reflexes and agendas. Each of us is a multiplicity. So although one part of you wants committed relationship, another part of you is obviously shooting itself in the foot by repeatedly getting involved with people with whom you stand no chance of commitment. Why is that? What is it in you that's attracting you to the sort of person you describe? You can't change yourself until you know the answer to that question.

 

[Trojina]

The thing to ask is are you comitted to your self. I can't see why people expect to build fabulous relationships when they don't even like themselves, aren't comitted to themselves nor reliable to themselves. If they don't have all this they expect the other person to provide it and it can't be done.

All the effort people put into 'securing' the affection of another I think would be better put into finding some affection for themselves. I include myself in that. I'm not saying Asci that you don't value yourself enough but with posts entitled things like "the universe hates me" even in jest - maybe its time just to consider how you feel about yourself - maybe the universe won't come up with a relationship till you've sorted your relationship with your self ?

 

[Tohpol]

The thing to ask is are you comitted to your self. I can't see why people expect to build fabulous relationships when they don't even like themselves, aren't comitted to themselves nor reliable to themselves. If they don't have all this they expect the other person to provide it and it can't be done.

All the effort people put into 'securing' the affection of another I think would be better put into finding some affection for themselves. I include myself in that. I'm not saying Asci that you don't value yourself enough but with posts entitled things like "the universe hates me" even in jest - maybe its time just to consider how you feel about yourself - maybe the universe won't come up with a relationship till you've sorted your relationship with your self ?

Excellent advice.

Until we work on ourselves and make the effort to take responsibility for our hang-ups and emotional baggage - the Universe doesn´t care either way. We are totally our own in that respect.

I think the Universe responds only to the light of friction i.e the effort to know ourselves. If it´s not present then we are no different to the amoeba.

But once we make the effort to align ourselves with the Creative Universe and to manifest that flow in our lives, then we become part of its "body" and only then can we see that the Universe is "interested in us" as we have become part of it and thus doing its "work."

It´s a tough old road but we can still have some fun along the way

Topal

 

[Trojina]

Excellent advice.

Until we work on ourselves and make the effort to take responsibility for our hang-ups and emotional baggage - the Universe doesn´t care either way. We are totally our own in that respect.

I think the Universe responds only to the light of friction i.e the effort to know ourselves. If it´s not present then we are no different to the amoeba.

But once we make the effort to align ourselves with the Creative Universe and to manifest that flow in our lives, then we become part of its "body" and only then can we see that the Universe is "interested in us" as we have become part of it and thus doing its "work."

It´s a tough old road but we can still have some fun along the way

Topal

Hi Topal well I'm glad you agreed with my post but I'm afraid i can't agree with yours

The reason being I feel you are projecting a kind of protestant work ethic onto the Universe. How could it be true that the universe -if it cares at all - only cares if we act a certain way. Hmm well we might get muddled here as we' aren't clear for sure what we mean by universe here ? Hmm but anyway say if we take it as meaning 'god' or some kind of higher energy, for want of better words - we'd be pretty much underestimating it if we thought it was miserly and petty enough only to love us if we put 'effort' in. I'm not sure why you stress this word 'effort' when I was speaking of loving/respecting self, I see it more to do with acceptance, honesty, seeking the best for oneself and ones own growth, nurturing self as much as anyone else you loved.

Sometimes effort is involved but i don't think its the key thing. Just the same as loving someone else surely 'effort' isn't the key thing, maybe at times when its tough, otherwise the key thing is loving isn't it. Oh no I sound like a hippy IOW effort might be part of love but it doesn't follow you have to make an effort to get love - isn't it everyones birthright - not everyone gets it but they should - oh I sound like a hippy again.......

The thing is alot of us have been advised to make more 'effort' to be the people others have told us we ought to be anyway - and I know its a truism but many people dislike themselves cos thats what their parents taught them to do - whether they meant to or not - so piling on another set of authoritarian values such as 'you must make this spiritual effort or you won't be cared for etc etc ' can't help as i see it. I reckon people may be attracted to that cos thats what they are used to - that whole idea of if you are good you will be loved - but its not true IMO. Most parents even if their kids are criminal still don't stop caring or loving do they ?

I found the ideas in your post quite harsh in a way. You are saying there are people in the world the universe cares about because they make an effort and there are people whom the universe doesn't even value at all, they are 'amoeba' ? Topal this is elitist isn't it ? How do you know this ?

In your last sentence you say the universe isn't interested in us unless we are doing 'its work' But who decides what the universes work is - I don't think it does work does it - it simply is -

I've noticed you've bought up these kinds of ideas in other posts and its struck me as harsh there too so I guess I'm responding to your belief system which I think is very different to mine. No problem with that its just what I said in the post you quoted, (although I love being agreed with ) I can't tie it in with your thoughts.

Of course I have to stress I'm saying I feel your ideas about personal growth seem harsh - not you - you personally never struck me as harsh or elitist :bows:

 

[dobro p]

You see a harsh Protestant work ethic in Topal's idea; I see a beautifully reliable lawful universe which will respond immediately to the right approach.

 

[Trojina]

I think the Universe responds only to the light of friction i.e the effort to know ourselves. If it´s not present then we are no different to the amoeba.

Topal

So Dobro you think all those people working soley on their practical lives, who aren't interested in self development or spirituality in any form, you think they're no different from an amoeba ?

Point is quite a large portion of our population makes no effort to know themselves, maybe they're busy making money, caring for their kids and so on and this stuff just doesn't interest them. I know plenty of people like that, who never introspect not for one minute - yet as far as I'm concerned they're still pretty worthwhile people.

It seems a bit strange to think that such people are as an 'amoeba' to the universe -

Ah I've only just realised this is all about the title of this thread - so you and Topal actually support the idea the universe ignores Asci if s/he does not work on himself ?

Good Grief, thats certainly not what I meant in my post to Asci .

What makes you think a universe that ignores half the world because they don't do self development stuff is beautiful and reliable and lawful ?

 

[bruce_g]

Interesting opposition of views. If I may paraphrase: Does the universe give a crap what we do, or is the value of our own effort and results our reward?

 

[bruce_g]

As to the original inquiry...

View attachment 299

 

[bruce_g]

Regarding the Universe caring, I have no idea. Sometimes I think the universe/God/whatever cares a great deal what I think and do, other times it seems as though the universe is indifferent to what I think or do. I know one thing: I care. And I think that's Trojan's point. And, I find that, though the universe may be indifferent to what I think or do, it still cooperates in a way which benefits me, when I speak or act in accord with the universe. And I think that is Topal's point.

In other words, though it may not be a conscious caring from the universe, it still cooperates more with something that goes with it, in the same direction, and at the same time, than it does with a force going in a direction and timing away from or contrary to that of the universe.

 

[Trojina]

- maybe the universe won't come up with a relationship till you've sorted your relationship with your self ?

Looking back looks here like I'm myself could be implying that the universe will somehow reward you for sorting out your head its not what I meant really, I just meant a person would be more ready and able to have a good relationship when they'd done that, but not that it was a reward from on high. I guess thats what Topal was following on from and the title of the thread


WormYi must truly be a sage he can say so much with so few words - yet he still looks unhappy - he doesn't look like hes found divine peace. Weird cos I remember this song, it went

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me
Going down the garden eating woorms
Big fat juicy ones, slip slap slimy ones
something something something worms ?

Anyway does feeling everyone/everything/the universe hates you have something to do with wormhood and ascending wormhood ? Must do I think.

 

[Trojina]

Regarding the Universe caring, I have no idea. Sometimes I think the universe/God/whatever cares a great deal what I think and do, other times it seems as though the universe is indifferent to what I think or do. I know one thing: I care. And I think that's Trojan's point. And, I find that, though the universe may be indifferent to what I think or do, it still cooperates in a way which benefits me, when I speak or act in accord with the universe. And I think that is Topal's point.

In other words, though it may not be a conscious caring from the universe, it still cooperates more with something that goes with it, in the same direction, and at the same time, than it does with a force going in a direction and timing away from or contrary to that of the universe.

Well when you put it like that it makes perfect sense of course :bows:

 

[bruce_g]

WormYi must truly be a sage he can say so much with so few words - yet he still looks unhappy - he doesn't look like hes found divine peace. Weird cos I remember this song, it went

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me
Going down the garden eating woorms
Big fat juicy ones, slip slap slimy ones
something something something worms ?

Anyway does feeling everyone/everything/the universe hates you have something to do with wormhood and ascending wormhood ? Must do I think.

LMAO!

Who can say why he always looks so grumpy? No, I don't think it's a result of devolved consciousness, or the karmic result of a bad past life. I, too, used to get asked a lot why my eyebrows are nearly always furrowed. In dunno, just the way they are. :bag:

But you did catch the drift of worm eating.. poor, pitiful me.

 

[Tohpol]

Looking back looks here like I'm myself could be implying that the universe will somehow reward you for sorting out your head its not what I meant really, I just meant a person would be more ready and able to have a good relationship when they'd done that, but not that it was a reward from on high. I guess thats what Topal was following on from and the title of the thread

Yup!

Bruce also summed it up well.

Topal

 

[rosada]

For the archives, in the west coast version, the last line is, "Oooshy gooshy, fuzzy wuzzy worms."

 

[asci_blue]

Damn..where to start.

I'm about as committed as they get to being successful with women. I spent a lot of time researching and field testing stuff and am more successful than not. I took chances and they paid off more frequently than they failed. So the commitment on my end is there. Finding affection for oneself..lemme tell you a short story it involves a dare, a 4,000 word essay about me, and hilarity. I've shown that essay to about a dozen women and they all loved it.There's plenty of self love here baby!!

As for the women, they all seem to be quite upfront about everything. Call'em out on something and they'd step up. My last target I think I waited too long to initiate something AND she was a busy chick. My current I'm totally at a loss for. We had an awesome first date, one of the BEST I've ever been on and my game was at 100%. We connected on a level different from most since we've both been cripples for a bit. She was asking me if she was what I expected. Real good communications before our day 1, and even good stuff before our day 2 but Sat hit and she disappeared. I can confidently say it was a good first date. I've had plenty of day 1's that I thought were good but now know they were a joke and this one was GOOD.

Thing is all these girls show interest in having a significant other. Also I've practiced enough to be confident to say I can generally pick up any woman I want.

I'm really at a loss as to what the crap is going on. Maybe the Idaho women can't handle my New York style. Regardless of what's happening it's starting to irritate the crap outta me.

 

[bruce_g]

Well, crap, I don't know what's wrong. Damn it.

But seriously, with all this New York charm goin' on, why do you think the universe hates you? Just think of all those poor mid-west slobs who can't even buy a date with a chick! Erm, maybe this chick goes more for the sincere type; you know, one who doesn't make a game of bagging a chick? I dunno, are there still girls/women like that?

 

[Trojina]

For the archives, in the west coast version, the last line is, "Oooshy gooshy, fuzzy wuzzy worms."

Yeah thats right its something like that here too

2nd verse something like

First one was easy , 2nd one was squeezy
3rd one going on its waaay
big fat juicy ones
slip slop slimy ones
fuzzy wuzzy wuzzy wuzzy woorrms

Demeaning to worms in my view , lol

 

[rosada]

Oh now you have jiggled my memory. Here's what I have:

Dooown goes the first one
Doown goes the second one.
Oooh how they wiggle and squiiiirm.
Long slimmy slimy ones,
Short fat juicy ones,
Itsy bitsy fuzzy wuzzy worms!

Uuuup comes the first one!
Uuuup comes the second one!
Oh how they wiggle and squiiirm.
Long slimmy slimy ones.
Short fat juicy ones.
Itsy bitsy fuzzy wuzzy wooooorms!

---
Geez, my head is full of this stuff. No wonder I never got around to studying the I Ching in the original Chinese.

 

[Trojina]

OMG I don't recall the bringing them up bit ! I learned the song at girl guides, don't know what you call them over there, girl scouts maybe - hmm on reflection it seems a funny kind of song to teach young girls - yeah no wonder we don't get round to learning Chinese

 

[asci_blue]

What makes ya think I'm not sincere? I've played the game long enough to know I can land more women being honest than I can playing them. The time I am sincere and really do want a woman two out of two have flaked. Maybe the current doesn't want a boyfriend, but still I wouldn't think it's so hard to say "I like being single" this avoids embarrassment and rejection while getting the point across.

Well, crap, I don't know what's wrong. Damn it.

But seriously, with all this New York charm goin' on, why do you think the universe hates you? Just think of all those poor mid-west slobs who can't even buy a date with a chick! Erm, maybe this chick goes more for the sincere type; you know, one who doesn't make a game of bagging a chick? I dunno, are there still girls/women like that?

 

[bruce_g]

Maybe the current doesn't want a boyfriend, but still I wouldn't think it's so hard to say "I like being single" this avoids embarrassment and rejection while getting the point across.

Yes, that's why I asked if there still are women who seek sincere guys. I mean, they say they do.. but so many wind up with players. Maybe it's their turn to play? Maybe us guys made our own bed and now we have to sleep in it - alone.

On yourself, I was teasin' you - one east coast smart ass to another.

 

[asci_blue]

This is probably one of the few times I'm not up for being teased. I've received a blitzkrieg attack of some creeping crap.

And yes plenty of women play men. Most of them are better at it than men are but the signs of a flaya (female player) are pretty obvious. I did buy her ONE drink and she practically forced me to take her money in return, I refused and practically had to beat her to get'er to stop. Had we done another round she'd have paid I have no doubt.

Yes, that's why I asked if there still are women who seek sincere guys. I mean, they say they do.. but so many wind up with players. Maybe it's their turn to play? Maybe us guys made our own bed and now we have to sleep in it - alone.

On yourself, I was teasin' you - one east coast smart ass to another.

 

[bruce_g]

This is probably one of the few times I'm not up for being teased. I've received a blitzkrieg attack of some creeping crap.

And yes plenty of women play men. Most of them are better at it than men are but the signs of a flaya (female player) are pretty obvious. I did buy her ONE drink and she practically forced me to take her money in return, I refused and practically had to beat her to get'er to stop. Had we done another round she'd have paid I have no doubt.

Sorry for the tease. Yes, the times they are a changin' where courting is concerned. I'm older, and honestly can't say I envy the position courting guys are in these days. Shoot, doesn't even have to be a courtship to show courtesy and form. I was raised to open doors for women, and to guide them through crowded places. By the later years of an active career, that was considered as an insult to women. No, I don't envy your position.

 

[Sparhawk]

This is probably one of the few times I'm not up for being teased.

That's one thing that you cannot drop here and hope it will work as requested...

refused and practically had to beat her to get'er to stop. Had we done another round she'd have paid I have no doubt.

OMG! How old are you?? Was that at "Bingo Night" at the church? Can't you see opportunity when it comes knocking at your door?? I'll say, let her pay... Believe me, testosterone levels remain steady when they pay or share the expenses...

Nothing personal, it was too good to let it slide...


L

 

[asci_blue]

I'm 26, I do see opportunity when it comes knocking but I also know when I've reached my limit and one more would have put me to boarderline alcohol poisoning.

I too was raised to open doors for women (oddly enough most of'em still dig this), likewise I do walk arm in arm with them to their vehicles. So far neither of those have cost me anything really.