To ask or not to ask?

[tealight]

A question I really want to ask today, and it's been building for a few weeks now, is about the nature of the relationship between two other people. One of them is a friend I have secretly developed feelings for. Although we are just online friends at this point, he has shown some signs that he likes me. But mostly we are just friends, taking it all very slowly. And that's fine. However I know that I can get deeply involved when I like someone, I can't help this tendency. And I know it will hurt badly if it turns out later he doesn't feel the same.

I know there is another woman, or there was, but I don't know if it's completely in the past now or not. I know they are just online friends too, but it's obvious that there was(or is?) some romantic feeling between them and possibly plans to meet. But I just don't know for sure what's going on between them and it could be just that I'm paranoid because she's quite a lot younger than me. It seemed very much like whatever it was had finished when he started talking to me. But recently some very little thing has suggested to me that there's a possiblity of a future for them. I can't ask him straight out, because he hasn't mentioned her directly to me and we are only at the stage of being friends, so I don't want to scare him away. But I just really would like to know if they have a future together. If they do, then I would be able to protect myself, I would just stop revealing things about myself and being so interested in him, or maybe even cut contact completely. But if I do this based just on paranoia that has no basis then he will think I'm being cold and distant for no reason and I will probably lose what is currently a really nice friendship.
So what can I ask the I Ching in a situation like this? Is it ok to ask "What is the likely future between X and Y?" or "What will be the outcome of his feelings for her?", or "What is going on in her life?"

But I don't want to ask a question if it will only tell me to focus on my own affairs because it's none of my business, or the answer could just be something that will confuse me...? It is not my intention to interfere or anything though, I would never say anything to him. As I explained already, my only intention is to get some guidance so that I can move forward with peace of mind, so that I can protect myself from hurt.
I'd appreciate some advice on this..whether to ask a question, and if so, how best to frame the question...?

 

[Sunfit]

Hello,

How about this question:

"What is the current status of X and ____'s relationship?"

And if you get a hex like 31 for example... that says it right there.

As you mentioned you are not exactly sure what is going on between them so I would form my question in the "present tense" and see if the Iching gives you the answer.

I "never", ever presume to know what the Iching will tell me or how it will respond to any question despite what some here say. (asking about a third party for example)

The only way to find out is to ask!

Keep us posted and good luck!

Sunfit

 

[tealight]

Just updating the thread. I have been quietly going crazy. So I meditated on it this evening, and asked the question. The answer I got was 27.1.3 > 52.
This suggests to me that there will be a sexual attraction, or at least some dynamic between them. And I don't know how to connect it with the 2nd hex, but I always find this difficult with any reading I get, so I usually just focus on the 1st one and the lines.

Now that it's done I feel maybe I shouldn't have asked. I felt too much like I was prying into someone else's life when I was reading the interpretation, and I just felt wrong about it. So I think I've learned a lesson, indirectly, just by going ahead and asking! Also I notice my attention has shifted away from them or anyone else and more towards how he has been treating me directly and how it's made me feel. I guess this was where I should have kept my attention all along. I think I need to ask specifically about whether we're compatible or not, and then at least I know the interpretation will be directed at me and not some external situation.

Thanks, Sunfit, for helping with forming the question. Although I don't feel so good now that I asked, maybe something is a little clearer than before. You are right that I just had to go ahead and ask!