To bid or not to bid

[cirka09]

I have an interesting situation. A girl I've been slowly building a relationship with at work has been nominated for a charity date auction. She's very apprehensive about it and afraid she's going to end up having to go on a date with some creep. So I've been considering bidding on her myself. She doesn't know that I'm interested as we're just friends, but I'd like to use this opportunity to show her. However, I have to work on that day so a friend of mine offered to go in my place and do the bidding for me, if I want. This could end up costing me a fairly large chunk of change, but I really don't care about the money. It's worth it to me. I asked if I should let my friend bid on her at the auction for me and my answer was 43.6 > 1. I guess line 6 is about speaking out the truth and the danger of not doing so. But how does it apply in this situation? Is it telling me I should let her know what I plan to do or could the speaking out be a reference to making a bid and the danger against not bidding? Any help in this would be most appreciated.

 

[cirka09]

I'd like to share a moment of synchronicity with you all I am going to go ahead with the plan. I'd really much rather it be me doing the bidding, but if I cannot then I'll have to rely on my friend. As a follow up I asked how winning the auction would affect our relationship. The answer was 13.5 > 30. When I read the the comments on the line I was dumbfounded! "Two people outwardly separated, nut in their hearts they are united. They are kept apart by their positions in life. Many difficulties and obstructions arise between them and cause them grief. But, remaining true to each other, they allow nothing to separate them, and although it costs them a severe struggle to overcome the obstacles, they will succeed." Wow! That absolutely describes the situation to a "T"... whatever that saying means... The thing is, we are co-workers. That causes problems of it's own inside the company with their rules against dating and so on. On top of that, we work in broadcast television. She is an on-air personality and I wok behind the scenes. I won't be there forever because I have higher goals in mind, but for now it's a definite problem. Being on-air she has a certain public image she has to uphold, a lot more responsibility than I have. There are certain expectations placed upon her that I can only support her in. It all creates difficulties... extreme difficulties... But I don't care. I'm determined to see this through. I'm in no rush and she moves slower than the tortoise racing the hare. But if this reading is any indication of how things can play out, then I am extremely uplifted and thankful for the opportunity to finally allow the sentiment of my heart to be expressed... if in a rather unconventional way. anyway, just wanted to share

 

[meng]

I have an interesting situation. A girl I've been slowly building a relationship with at work has been nominated for a charity date auction. She's very apprehensive about it and afraid she's going to end up having to go on a date with some creep. So I've been considering bidding on her myself. She doesn't know that I'm interested as we're just friends, but I'd like to use this opportunity to show her. However, I have to work on that day so a friend of mine offered to go in my place and do the bidding for me, if I want. This could end up costing me a fairly large chunk of change, but I really don't care about the money. It's worth it to me. I asked if I should let my friend bid on her at the auction for me and my answer was 43.6 > 1. I guess line 6 is about speaking out the truth and the danger of not doing so. But how does it apply in this situation? Is it telling me I should let her know what I plan to do or could the speaking out be a reference to making a bid and the danger against not bidding? Any help in this would be most appreciated.

Heck, yeah. Speak now (or have your friend speak for by proxy) or possibly forever hold your peace. Assuming the taboos are in the workplace only and not on the home front, I then think the Yi is saying to be a man and bid on the damsel. Even if you don't win her, she can at least learn of your noble gesture.

 

[cirka09]

And now for a bit of a follow-up. I just found out today, from a co-worker, that she is seeing someone long distance.... so what I'm wondering is does this change the results of the reading since I was unaware of this aspect of the situation at the time? I still plan on bidding as a friend. It's a good cause and I'd be helping her get out of a situation she is not comfortable with.... I'm just wondering about the results...

 

[cirka09]

And why I didn't just include this information in the thread I made yesterday is beyond me. That's probably a bit annoying... I appologise.

 

[gato]

43.6 - don't bid.

Even without iching i can tell is not a great idea to buy her , in one form or another.

 

[Trojina]

43.6 is about the problems and loss in not speaking out. Its a really clear answer IMO for you to bid, to speak out ! or get your friend to do it for you

I don't really understand about this auction but its a charity event, people are expected to bid so it doesn't really make you look foolish to do so or anything does it ? Whats to lose ?

Also if you win you'll have the chance to be the knight in shining armour because you saved her from the creeps....

 

[rodaki]

ditto on what Trojan said . . make your bid even if it has small chance of success. And if you don't achieve anything you will know at least that you did the best you could and were true to yourself -they say it's the effort that counts . .

 

[gato]

i bet she already has an army of knights in various shining armors... don't be one of them.

if you really want to do it ( to bet ) do something creative, make a conspiracy , involve her, make sure she gives you the money to rescue her , at least, she does something for this. make it fun and attractive.

remember 16.3.5
Enthusiasm that looks upward creates remorse.
Hesitation brings remorse.

 

[cirka09]

I'm not trying to buy her at all. The main reason I'm doing it is in line with what trojan said, to save her from the creeps. She's nervous about doing this auction and the only reason she's going through with it is because it's a charity event for the Make a Wish foundation. So it's going to a good cause. I'm not trying to buy her affection, just trying to help her out of a situation she's uncomfortable with. I don't expect anything in return, though I do expect it will expose the fact that I have some affection for her.

 

[Trojina]

i bet she already has an army of knights in various shining armors... don't be one of them.

if you really want to do it ( to bet ) do something creative, make a conspiracy , involve her, make sure she gives you the money to rescue her , at least, she does something for this. make it fun and attractive.

remember 16.3.5
Enthusiasm that looks upward creates remorse.
Hesitation brings remorse.

where did you get the 16.3.5 from ? I've scanned this thread a few times and can't see any reference to it ? Was that from another thread of Cirkas ? And anyway 16.3 is about not hesitating, not waiting for signs from others. If hesitating brings remorse, as you quote, why hesitate ? (Although as this answer hasn't beeen received i don't know why twe are talking about it)...but what made you think that 16.3 would mean 'do not bid'

Re all this stuff about 'buying' her . Going in a date for charity isn't really buying someone is it ? Its just for fun to raise money for charity. Its not suprising she has some misgivings but if she had any serious objection she wouldn't do would she. I doubt anyone is forcing her.

 

[cirka09]

The reference to 16.3.5 is from another thread I made that should have just been included in this thread. You can find it here http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=9407
It's titled "I hate it when things become more complicated..." Like I said I should have just included the information here. I appologise for the confusion.

 

[bamboo]

to me 43.6 says something more like thinking it's a great plan but finding out too late it was not such a great idea....when you said that you just found out that she is seeing someone else that THAT was the 43.6.....it was a circumstance you were not aware of which could serve to foil your plan (to become involved with her)........

but I still dont think you should NOT bid on her...I think it would be flattering to her and who knows...maybe she doesnt suspect that you are interested? maybe she returns the interest. In any case, It would be a very lovely and brave thing to do. 16.5 imo could mean being "lovesick" but not expressing it...16.3 , too much hesitation not good.........and 31 a mutual attraction

 

[cirka09]

YOu're right bamboo, she doesn't know I'm interested. That's part of the reason I'm considering this course of action. We work together so we have to be professional at work. I really don't see another opportunity like this opening up so I'll take the chance. Regardless of how she reacts, the money is going to a good cause. so it's a win, win.

 

[cirka09]

This just keeps getting more and more interesting... Today a guy I work with came to tell me that he had been talking to her about this auction and that the feeling he got was that she would feel weird if someone she works with were to bid on here. Reason being, we work together and she is not too keen on dating someone she works with. So if someone were to bid on her she would assume that they wanted to date her.

WELL! Now I have the same choice I began with... My intention is not to get a date, let me make that very clear. And if I do go through with this, I would tell her that immediately. But, just to be sure, I asked, again, if I should still go through with this course of action in light of the information I now know.

The answer was 21.4 > 27

Seems like a yes, bite through this obstacle while remaining aware of the dangers. Not sure how 27 plays into it... I sort of wonder if I can fully rely on the information this person just gave to me... or maybe he is trying to deter me. I dunno. Am I right in assuming my answer is go through with it?

 

[gato]

My intention is not to get a date, let me make that very clear. And if I do go through with this, I would tell her that immediately.

just a small advice ... don't ever say that. besides you everyone else already know that you want to get a date with her. even if you are genuinely not interested, every attractive girl you approach will automatically assume that you want a date or something. in the end humiliation ( i ching style)

maybe your first "bite trough" would be to acknowledge that you want a date with this girl; because you do.

if i were you, i would bid on the least attractive girl there, make her feel like a princess and have fun...but that's me.

 

[bamboo]

I do believe Gato is right about your true intention....you've said you like her and you would like to date her ( your own words) so it seems you should be honest with yourself about your true desire. That's really important...and it doesnt matter about the rest...you can be okay with the idea that maybe she will not be interested, or that she doesnt want to date someone at work, or that she is already involved, and still bid on her and see where it goes. you can prepare for the worst case but still be honest in hoping for the best...either way you will win because taking a risk is a powerful act. It is like announcing to yourself and to the world that you are worth it, you are worthy of going after what you want. One day you will get it.

and PS even if you decide not to, thats okay too. your conscious honest decision is what matters.

 

[cirka09]

Yeah, you guys are right. It would be better to be open and honest than hide my feelings and keep wondering.

I have an opportunity to learn something about the I Ching in hindsight. Yesterday I asked her out for sushi and she accepted. But before doing this, I asked the yi how she would most likely respond if I asked her. The answer I received was 35.2 > 64.

To me, the overall appearance of this seemed to say that I shouldn't do it as my progress would be blocked. But it didn't happen that way, so I'm curious how I should have interpreted this reading? Is it more of a case of an obstruction that you have to move through in order to make progress? For example, I was considering not asking as I didn't think she would say yes. So maybe it was saying I needed to get past that thought and go for it? I also didn't set a day with her, so I guess it could say it won't happen, but that wouldn't fit with the question I asked.

Any thoughts?

 

[bamboo]

i never see 35.2 as an omen that progress is blocked exactly, only that there is some angst and worry but ultimately progress is possible...help from a "grandmother"...perhaps your prayers have been answered...or your advice from hereand yi has freed you up a bit to be more bold.
in any case, congratulations! I think it is great that you asked her to dine with you.

 

[gato]

i agree with bamboo... you can advance but you are sad or discouraged. grandmother ( according to crowley ) could be Binah or Nuit which more or less means understanding.

 

[cirka09]

So it looks like it was commenting on my own worry, about asking. Gato, the crowley reference is interesting.I've had a small interest in the the kabbalah so I might look into this. What do you think of his consultation method using six coins instead of three?

 

[gato]

if you ask me, i dont think it matters. I use 16 stones i bought from IKEA rolleyes , ive marked them with a marker and put them in a bag (a nice velvet bag )

I think what matter most is to leave your emotions and your thoughts in other room while you are asking.