Trying to do some character development

[cirka09]

I deal with anxiety... a lot. I'm a worrier and I know that it causes problems with my relationships. So I asked the Yi "why do I get so anxious in relationships?" The response was 6.6 > 47.

This appears to fit my situation perfectly. There's always a certain point in any relationship I've ever had that I begin to become very anxious and worry about how things are going, where they're headed, etc. It always makes me think there's something wrong. This, then leads to me not being myself as I'm always trying to figure out what's wrong. For some time now I've thought maybe I'm just cursed... and I'm just going to have to live with the fact that none of my relations will ever work out. But, looking at 6.6 it seems that maybe my real problem is that I always try to be right. To get my way no matter what. It always seems to stem from fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of being alone. It always starts the same way. Some little influence or thought pops into my head that says "something's wrong. Something's not going the way it should." And from that point on it's lights out for the real me. So maybe I'm creating the problems by focusing on them, even if they aren't really there.

Now the question is. How do I break the cycle?

 

[icastes]

The Yi has answered your question about breaking the cycle. First, 6.6 says not to be smug in any successes you have. Second, avoid conflict at all costs even in the most conflicting of circumstances. Retreat, maintain your and position, and wait for your luck to change. 47 is a confirmation of 6. Wait for fortunes to change and maintain self-discipline.

The implication in the hexagrams is that you haven't been doing that and that is why you are facing adversity.

It must be remembered that the Yijing assumes a code of behavior that includes moderation and an adherence to proper conventions. When you are in trouble, the immediate is assumption is that you must do something radical to get out of trouble. However, in the Yi, there is a greater emphasis on cultivating virtue even in the worst of times. That doesn't mean there are not times when radical action must be taken. It means, however, that that if you adhere to the straight and narrow most of the time, then you will have less problems.

Both guas also address the love situation in the following way: 6 means that you are in situations where only one side is sincere or sincere enough, while 47 says that the result of such one-sided situations is failure. You have to seek mutuality.

 

[cirka09]

Hmm... I'm going to give some thought to this. I'm not in a relationship at the moment. I don't "think" I act smugly. It's more the anxiety and worry that gets to me. I had been reflecting on my past and hoped I could get some insight into how to overcome the anxiety and worry. I think you've given me some food for thought. There is a small chance this reading could be referring to a completely different situation that could very well lead to a big conflict. But I had already decided not to act and leave it alone.

 

[johnny ng]

Why not you just let go and take it easy and meet others halfway? In every action there is an effect. I always think, whether I do is justified and follows my heart. In relationships, I always try to be true to myself and others. We must free ourselves from the ghosts of the past and face life with renewed hope.

I realise that whatever happen externally is differed from what is happening inside us. We can choose our response to the external stimuli. Most importantly is that we have no regrets.