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Trying to Figure out if I should move on or work it out.

freemymind

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Hi all, I need advice. I have been seeing this guy for a few months. Things really started out sweet between us we were really excited and things felt great. Well, recently things have cooled down not on my part as I still feel strong emotions for him. I know he is going through things and has a lot going on. But can't help feeling things are changing in his mind about us. Maybe I'm rushing, maybe I should slow down, let things play out naturally. But he comes on hot and heavy then doesn't call? I don't want to chase him, that's not my game. Lately I feel strung along, if he isn't ready he should say so!! I am feeling confused could someone please offer me insight to my questions please.

I asked what does he want from me? I got hex 14.6 changing to 34. To me this sounds really good.

Then I asked why is he avoiding me? This one worries me a little.

I got hex 58.2.5.6 Changing to 21.

Am I supposed to keep and display a happy attitude even though I'm not feeling happy? Basing too much emphasis on external pleasures? Relax it isn't what I'm making it out to be?

Lastly I asked, If I stop communication, how will he return to me?
I received 32.6 changing to 50

Maybe I need to return to myself? Stop acting like a fruit cake and calm down. What will be will be if I stop panicking. Anyways, looking forward to any extra comments and insight.
 
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blue_angel

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I have an idea, and you don't have to follow it of course. I will take a look at your readings. However, I am thinking the way we ask our questions are important and the questions we ask are important. First I would read the sticky by Hilary on relationship advise. It is right above your post.

Next, before asking a question, calm yourself. Meditate until you feel peaceful and relaxed. Then pick a good question and write it out. Some questions that will help you find a clear answer are 1."What is the current situation between (name) and I?" 2."What is the current diagnosis for (name) and I?" 3. "How should I approach (name)?"

The thing is, some questions come from a place of anxiety and then we get answers of confusion that seem to reflect our anxiety. Not always... which is why I will still take a look. The other thing is by asking what the other person wants, feels, or what they are going to do, this also creates confusion. We can not really be sure if the Yi is answering about you or him.

The thing is, unless he wants you to know these answers, you won't be answered. Not that it is necessarily "wrong", as anything is possible, and not that I myself haven't asked these sorts of questions. I am just as guilty as the next. But it really doesn't seem to help and only adds to the anxiety/confusion, I feel.

So when thinking of a question, try for an open ended question; a question that is here in the moment; not in the future; a question that is focusing on your position in the relationship.
 
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blue_angel

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Your first reading I see speaking to you, so not really answering your question about him. "What does he want from me"? (34) Great powerful move towards (14) The possession of a relationship with this man. This goes with what you said about yourself above. Line 6 shows you have the help of heaven so do not worry, everything will be good. I can also see this line as saying you possess your own great spiritual wisdom and can make the right choices for yourself.


Again speaking to you, about you...
(21) you're having to bite your way through this, in order to find that joyful exchange (58). (21) can be like trying to find the truth of the situation. The lines I feel, are mostly about your mixed emotions about this situation, and the need for some self control, confidence, and stability. Steady yourself, it's as if you've lost your ability to see clearly due to all of the excitement and anxiety.


Now (50) how can you transform what is in this sacred vessel, so that it will endure (32)? Almost sounds like, how can you transform this love so that it withstands the test of time? And yet you got line 6, which shows you are way too restless and have lost your balance. Stay this way and you will only bring misfortune upon yourself. So it's not about stopping communication but finding balance, Imo. Try not to play the cat and mouse game, or another words don't act in order to try to control his actions nor reactions. These games are hardly any fun and usually backfire.


So I am thinking either ask another question as I suggested above or slow down the tempo a bit. Walk a little softer. It's still new. Try keeping a balanced excitement about it all. Don't be in a rush. I hope that is helpful. If not, maybe someone else sees something I missed, and can clear up these readings for you.
 

freemymind

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In a nutshell this is exactly how i am feeling. Thank you for taking the time to help me. I will ask the other questions you have advised me to.
 

freemymind

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Hi blue_angel, I asked the questions you recommended me to. I haven't spoke to him at all in 5 days as I was outta town. So here are my results:

How should I approach D?
Hex 28.3.4.6 changing to 59

What is the current diagnosis between D and I?
38.1.2 changing to 35

What is the current situation between D and I?
6.2.5 changing to 35

These are all placed in or of how I asked them. Is there any significance to receiving 35 twice?
 
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blue_angel

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"how should I approach D?" 28.3.4.6>59 Naturally, with stability. Not with any extreme and wait til a time you are feeling confident and at peace with no expectation of any particular result. 59 dispersing could be the fact you were out of town. 28 the beam is too heavy. So either you have too much pressure on your mind or there's too much pressure in this relationship. Either way you don't want the beam to snap. So take it easy.


"What is the current diagnosis between D and I?" 35 mating horses three times a day, putting your gifts to good use, and advancing to 38 mutual alienation perhaps due to your trip. Seems the lines are not so bad. Just communicate naturally and calmly. Small talk can lead to more understanding of where you are. How about "Hey D, I just got back in town, how's it going"? and go from there.


"What is the current situation between D and I?" 6.2.5>35 looks like stress. So try not to show your stress and just communicate naturally to find out where things are between you. Things may not be as bad you think. But put pressure on a man, especially at the beginning and he is going to most likely shut down and run off, closing his windows, curtains, and doors. Chill out is my advice.
 

ginnie

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What is the current situation between D and I?
6.2.5 changing to 35
I think you received 35 as the relating hexagram twice because you want to see some progress . . .

Getting 6 as your main hexagram indicates arguing and conflict.

6.5 indicates that there may be some good outcome to arguing. However, if you do not win the argument, escape harm by going home, wherever that may be, or otherwise getting away. In other words, there is some danger in this relationship which you have to be aware of and deal with. Take this seriously! :)
 

freemymind

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Oh fabulous, I don't know what we would have to argue about? I suppose where this is going, I'm not sure. But I will keep updating. I also asked another question last night about my current situation.

What should I do regarding my current relationship?
19.2 changing to 24

Approach? Should I approach or run oh my I'm confused, I feel like just scrapping the whole thing with him and just never talking to him again lol. Just to save my heart from this bs. And yes I do want some kind of progress but it's crazy, no communication but he has no phone. I don't know if things are done or what is happening, maybe he is seeing someone else, not sure. But I have a reason to stop by his place tonight and I will gently ask what is going on. Thanks for your help.
 

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