Two Different Questions = Same Answer

[Flax90s]

Every single day, I get an urge to reach out to my ex (I haven't reached out for over 2 weeks now but she did reach out to me last week). So this morning I asked I Ching:
1) What does the future hold if I reach out to X? (58.2.5 > 51)
2) If I don't reach out to X? (51)

I find it kind of fascinating that I got 51 twice for opposite questions. I get a sense that no matter what I choose to do, the future between X and I is not entirely up to me. For example, she could choose to reach out to me and it would still stir things up. Perhaps, we are not totally out of the woods yet. Sadly, 51 is absolutely frightening to me. During the time of our break up, 6 months ago, I casted 51 so many times. Looking back, it makes sense. My entire life was stirred up. So many things changed. Things are entirely different now. I can't imagine having to go through another bad 51

I read 58.2 as my desire to reach out to her and communicate. However, Ching is telling me to stop fantasizing and indulging in illusions (.5).

What do you say folks? Don't reach out and quietly live my life?
Flax

 

[Tim K]

I think you are right to suppose that both options will lead to the same result, a discovery/shock/surprise of some sort.

58.2 you reach out, 58.5 some undesirable piece of information comes up, like she is involved with someone else.
If you don't reach out, you may hear the news from mutual friends or see a relationship status on facebook, etc.

51 isn't always a bad hex, I've got it when my bank went bust, but also when on this forum rosada suddenly moved my post to the other thread

 

[loverofknowledge]

Flax,
I see it this way. 51 could be the context of your question. You are already in a state of shock.
58.2.5 gives you a warning (5) and a desire as well as a possible outcome (2).
You can still change the situation, based on the HOW, not just the WHETHER you reach out, (as you asked) but the HOW.
The warning line 58.5
"Sincerity in disintegration. There is harshness." (living iching)
This conversation could be harsh if it's all about the disintegration of your relationship.
BUT 58.2
Sincere exchange. Fortune. Regrets vanish.
If you reach out with sincerity and confidence, without fixed expectations (like that you will get back together), you could receive good fortune.
So the HOW makes a difference.
If you don't reach out, you are left with the SHOCK of the break up. You haven't risked anything, nor have you gained.

 

[Flax90s]

Hi, I'm back for an update.
It has been 4 months since this post. I never reached out to her. Late last month, she reached out to me because her father was in a massive car accident that hospitalized him. On that day, I decided I was going to be there for her. I asked myself, what am I expecting to achieve by doing this? My answer was, nothing. So, I also decided I was going to leave when things settle down. Secondly, I still love her so I knew it was going to get complicated if I stayed.
Shortly after, her father passed away due to the severity of his injuries. To my surprise, I was the one she heavily relied on. When she found out he wasn't going to make it, she called and cried until she fell asleep. During that time, I did everything I could to lessen her burden, mostly financially. She assumed that I was lending her the money but that was never my intention.
Fast forward to yesterday, I simply asked how she was doing. She was polite but dismissive. She said she was going to pay me back but she needed some time (I never brought up the money, she did so herself). This made me felt uncomfortable and misunderstood. I decided it was time to leave. I sent her a short text, briefly explaining that I didn't want anything and I always intended on leaving. She immediately refused and was embarrassed. I let her know that it was ok. I joked here and there until she smiled and laughed at me. Finally, we said goodbye. She insisted that she will update me on how things are going. I never responded, just simply smiled.
I suppose this is how it ends. For me, it's quite the perfect ending.
However, I do wonder how she feels about all of this, specifically my decision to leave.
I asked I Ching, how does she feel? 53.5 to 52