Two people in Silence

[yxeli]

Hi,

Someone very close to me has been distant for a few months. We became entangled in a very emotionally draining series of events, and as I was a reminder of these events to x, I thought that maybe the distance was necessary in order to overcome it and remain close. The person in question is not answering phonecalls or emails and so i come to Yi...

I asked ''what position should I take with x?''

52.2 > 18.

I read this thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=6060 which is a great one for this line, but I wonder if i need to 'rescue/aid' x or if i'm the one in need of rescue?

To clarify I asked 'Does this person want me to 'rescue' them ?'

28 1.3 > 58

and then just to make tripally sure I read this one right, I asked 'should i rescue x?'

35 unchanging.


Sorry for a load of different numbers here, I hope it doesn't put you off an interpretation

Yx

 

[pocossin]

What position should I take with x?
52.2 > 18.

Since x is not answering phone calls or emails, you should remain still like a mountain (52) and let time heal the bad vibes (18).

 

[Trojina]

Hi,

Someone very close to me has been distant for a few months. We became entangled in a very emotionally draining series of events, and as I was a reminder of these events to x, I thought that maybe the distance was necessary in order to overcome it and remain close. The person in question is not answering phonecalls or emails and so i come to Yi...

I asked ''what position should I take with x?''

52.2 > 18.

I read this thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=6060 which is a great one for this line, but I wonder if i need to 'rescue/aid' x or if i'm the one in need of rescue?

I went searching around for that thread then see you already linked to it. Simply, in answer to your question I think you must leave him be, you can't reach him. The word rescue always threw me...but looking back i recall a clear example of this line where I was in the process of beginning a new friendship with a woman and we were meant to be going out one day...and she had this habit of being really flaky and I just asked something about going out with her and got 52.2 and I thought 'well I don't want to rescue her anyway !' Several years later glancing back I see clearly that it was just the case I couldn't reach her at the time because she was going through a very painful breakup with a guy. She really wasn't available as a friend. I was trying to help her I guess but not consciously, just thinking of nice ways to spend time, swimming and sunbathing and stuff but I remember how fraught she was even on a lovely summer day by the pool side and how I felt somehow I couldn't get her to have a nice time because she wasn' t there. So it wasn't anything as defined and concrete as an actual wish to rescue but a sort of reaching out as a friend. I always think 52.2 is a very emotional line. One wants to reach someone and can't and it does hurt a bit because the impulse, the attraction may be quite strong. I remember this because even though it was just a female friend I didn't know that well it was still painful as in I'd had the urge to reach out, to share a nice time...and couldn't...couldn't but the impulse was still there.

The position you need to take is to back off ...but it will hurt you to do that, won't feel quite natural but you can't stop this urge you can't fulfill. Nevertheless you have to feel it.

To clarify I asked 'Does this person want me to 'rescue' them ?'

28 1.3 > 58

Try the words 'reach out to' rather than rescue. Your question is already answered anyway by 52.2. You can't reach them right now. Hes probably preoccupied with his own stuff. No I don't think he's wanting rescue, thats the pointof 52.2...its you who wants to reach out...looks like hes standing alone. he may actually need you but he can't take your help right now. You can't give it..its painful to take back to oneself what one was beginning to give. Pain of not giving when one has begun already to give makes me think of how unexpressed mothers milk is said to be painful for her

and then just to make tripally sure I read this one right, I asked 'should i rescue x?'

35 unchanging.


Sorry for a load of different numbers here, I hope it doesn't put you off an interpretation

Yx

tripally sure you cant rescue X at this time and it hurts you. Dunno about the 35...52.2 said it all anyway

 

[yxeli]

well to give you the backstory- its an old girlfriend of mine who was going through a really rough time with a guy- i didnt know him before but rumours started getting around( gossiping mostly via other friends of his) and also twice she showed me bruises on her chest and she would say that it was all part of some game they played with eachother.

I didnt know what to do but i knew this wasnt good for her headspace at all, but she said she loved him. Anyway, i would usually stay out of other peoples relationships, but it was like i was involved because i was her confidant and if they had an argument (which was every other day) i would be the one she would call.

I would see him socially quite regularly with her and our mutual friends and i overstepped the mark a few times by asking him why i was hearing that he was spreading these things about her. And also about the bruises. he never answered me and just wimped out and walked away. This of course got back to my friend, she knew well what i thought about him but i couldnt help myself. We had a big argument about it and she distanced herself from me. Since then through mutual friends i hear they are in the process of breaking up, and I know what that must be doing to her.


I think now that you guys are right, i just have to leave her to it. I will re-ask this question in a month or so maybe, and see if the timings better.

Yx

 

[elias]

One of the most difficult lessons of such a situation is the need to let go unconditionally. Watching from a distance, or setting a time-table of some sorts, can have a negative effect. As the cheesy pop slogan says, if you love something, set it free... If/when there is to be a reconciliation, it will happen without your effort or intervention.

 

[hopex]

is this the person you got 12 for a few casts ago?

in that case sit and pray through this stagnant patch

 

[yxeli]

No its not the same girl. Thanks everyone, leave her to it and hopefully we will be friends again

 

[hopex]

FO SURE!! GROOVE ON