what attitude should I have to this relationship? 32.6 - 50

[Freya D]

hello there,

so I posted before about taking a 3 month break from this difficult relationship with a very special
but hurt man, to think and take time for ourselves. he doesnt seem to happy about it, but I feel it drains me not to , because he has to much chaos in his life now. I will talk to him tomorrow.

now I asked about my attitude in general towards him. It seems pretty clear, to make sure there is peace and rest and then, maybe, a nice caldron can appear?

curious about youre experience with hex 32.6..thanks!

 

[Liselle]

I'm not sure what 32.6 means in your situation, but here are some examples from my readings. (None of them are about relationships, unfortunately.)

1. I asked about making a phone call while I was waiting for an expected delivery to my door. I took it to mean that I should not do this - I should finish one thing before starting another (I probably wouldn't have had time to finish the phone call before the person came to my door, and I'd have ended up trying to juggle both at once).
2. A question about a method of doing something - 32.6's advice was to use the same procedure each time. That may seem obvious, but in this situation it would have been just as easy and as common to start fresh each time as not to.
3. Don't do something today, because if you do, you'll have to do it all over again tomorrow. If you wait until tomorrow, you'll only have to do it once.
4. I complained to Yi about having tried to figure something out for an entire month. I think the 32.6 part of the answer was Yi's way of saying, "Stop agitating about this. Just stop it." (The problem I thought I had eventually turned out to be not as complicated or urgent as I expected. I was trying to formulate an entire battle plan, and simple measures were all that were needed.) This differs from your situation because you know for sure the chaos already exists. I was imagining chaos that never materialized.
5. I was considering emailing someone an apology after a phone call. I had said something that I was worried might have insulted her. 32.2 ("Regrets vanish") was the other line in the reading, which made it easy, but I think 32.6 was telling me that making a fuss, stirring it up, drawing attention to it would make matters worse rather than better. Just letting it go without comment was the best response.

 

[mirian]

32.6 - "too much haste, not enough speed". This is the line of someone trying to do everything at once, not allowing things to develop, not taking time to think things through. Expect delays.

 

[Liselle]

After thinking about this overnight, I still can't figure out how 32.6>50 describes an attitude Freya should take.

I completely agree with what you're saying about 32.6, Mirian - that's what I think 32.6 means, too - but I'm stuck on how Freya could adopt it as an attitude. She's NOT rushing things, according to what she said here.

Unless 32.6>50 is telling her that even after the break, nothing has changed with the man - he still has the same chaos in his life as he did before? Still, she asked how she should handle it, what her attitude should be...

(I mean, "what should my attitude be" is exactly the kind of productive question we're supposed to ask the I Ching about relationships, right? I feel like I'm missing something really obvious in the answer here .)

 

[mirian]

Hi lisa,

I might be completely wrong but I think the Yi is actually pointing out to Freya what her attitude at the moment actually is. The reading is sorting of saying to her "look the way you are acting now", so if she can see that then she can much more easily decide by herself what her attitude should be.

I know you can dispute why the Yi would be just raising her awareness and leaving the reflection and sorting out for herself instead of just saying "do this, do that", by giving her a straight answer for her to follow to the letter.

But it does make sense to me, as I have had that sort of answer for my own questions so many times. And personally I can see 32.6 in the line of questioning that Freya has been pursuing in her threads. But then it is easy when I am actually outside the situation isn't it. As they say, easier said than done

 

[Trojina]

Seems clear to me. 32.6 just tells you to stop fretting and settle down. So the attitude Freya should take is to stop sort of trying to keep starting over.


32.6 is also advising against the mind set of planning like 'if I do a then b will happen' you need to give all that a rest and settle down with things as they are rather than project how you want them to be.

now I asked about my attitude in general towards him. It seems pretty clear, to make sure there is peace and rest and then, maybe, a nice caldron can appear?

No I don't think you need to be expecting what is beyond what there already is. I think you have to stop future projections and plannings...and accept things as they are now. You sound like you are only trying to be calm so you can get to this cauldron but that is the kind of thinking 32.6 warns about.

Also of course the relating hexagram is not the result or the future so the cauldron is already part of the situation. Things take time to cook but you keep taking the lid off to see if it's cooked and then taking to pot off the stove and putting it back on again and so on.

Of course if you recognise this behaviour in him rather than yourself it may just apply to him...though you did ask about you. I think you need to stop planning ahead especially if you have the idea that the grass will be greener at some future point. You have to work with what you have now...you can't make it change

 

[Liselle]

The reading is sorting of saying to her "look the way you are acting now", so if she can see that then she can much more easily decide by herself what her attitude should be.

Seems clear to me. 32.6 just tells you to stop fretting and settle down. So the attitude Freya should take is to stop sort of trying to keep starting over.

32.6 is also advising against the mind set of planning like 'if I do a then b will happen' you need to give all that a rest and settle down with things as they are rather than project how you want them to be.

I think you have to stop future projections and plannings...and accept things as they are now. You sound like you are only trying to be calm so you can get to this cauldron but that is the kind of thinking 32.6 warns about.

Okay, I see what you're both saying. Makes sense.

I was seeing 32.6 too much as a description of Freya's boyfriend's chaotic life, and then couldn't see how it was advice to Freya. As Trojina said, it's possible to recognize her boyfriend in it but still apply the reading to Freya.

I also thought Freya was saying that she was currently taking a rest from the relationship, so the reading was advising her to do the very thing she's currently doing . But if she's talking to him "tomorrow," and fretting about it in general, that's not really taking a rest.

 

[Freya D]

thanks so much for your replies..

I definatelay frett to much about him, and the advice must be for me to stop doing that. We did talk and agree on a period of hardly seeing each other. things are going well now, but I dont believe things magically changed so the thinking period still applies.my problem is that I cant let things be, always try to control wether or not Im safe in the relationship. He is much better at letting things be, but can get agressive. Perhaps YI tells me to drop it completly, or perhaps to STOP the controlling and focus on myself.
I cant control him, nor the future, only where I am now.
thanks so much, Iwill keep you posted..

 

[mirian]

Hi Freya,

Just wanted to point out that none of us actually said that you should drop the relationship altogether. There are lessons to learn for sure, as you know, and your reading/interpretations show that.

Yes, please, keep us posted.