what did 28.2<31 bring to you?

[dragona]

Hello,
got this cast for asking what stand to take concerning my sister, or better probably towards the way she is with me.

She is older one and hes her own family of which she speaks proudly, so I suppose they give her support she needs. I am not invited there for years now, I am treated as an outcast, as I suppose a single unemployed struggling artistic woman is to be?
She is constantly talking down, nervous, greater victim, broke, too busy to constructively help with anything and still constantly creating stress for me concerning my mother`s health situation, care issues, etc. knowing perfectly well our financial limitations, social (not)care and seems blind to diagnosis...
my mother is in a nursing home we could get in and afford and is not looking well...I really am very sad and stressed over it, but I can only hope they are doing their best for her as she cannot stay home with me and is very weak and has dementia..also out of town, so not easy to visit a lot.

Our relationship does not look will change for the better, no matter IC 28.2 line seems to be pointing out it would? Or I am the one that should take a different road?
The Influence of resulting 31 hex is in her power over my future, since it very well may come to me having to pay all bills and having to share this apartment with her-selling it, fixing it firstly of course and ending up out in the street free but exhausted and almost broke. I am officially unemployed, without any help from the state, fortunate to make some money lately, working on a project I will need to educate more if/to maintain.

Now, in the light of all this, how did 28.2 worked for you? I need to make some legal steps, I was told, that she will not like. I just want to get out of this hammer hanging over my head situation that has been going on for years.
Sorry for too many details, thought some may ask.
Thank you for possible educated help on this cast.

I did ask once before here: http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...890-two-questions-on-communication&highlight=

 

[Trojina]

All things turn, even power relations.

I can't be much use because I don't think I ever saw 28.2 play out as one might expect. That is to me it seems more about an understanding that the strong get weak and the weak get strong and actually we can never know what comes next. We don't expect an old tree to have new flowers but it does. You don't expect to get anywhere in this situation, you see yourself as the loser, or rather you think that's how she sees you. You see her as thoroughly 'on top' and you powerless beneath.


I think this answer suggests you not be so sure about that however things look. Things have a habit of turning and changing....worn out situations can produce completely unexpected 'children'.

This isn't a clear answer I have given you because 28.2 has not personally been a clear answer for me but it is a hopeful one. I feel you should try to cultivate hopefulness as you really never do know what is around the corner.

 

[dragona]

Forgot how to multi quote while ago so," You don't expect to get anywhere in this situation, you see yourself as the loser, or rather you think that's how she sees you. You see her as thoroughly 'on top' and you powerless beneath".
Not quite true. The reason she treats me this way is because she feels I have been more fortunate in some ways (not to get into it now) and she is now happy to show me how life really works and if it is hard for me then heyyyyy...se how it is for me when etc.... I am just not interesting in that kind of rivalry in my life not to say no energy for its pettiness.
The possible prosperity of mine is what secretly kills her, I think me being on top of things, able to handle things on my own without her interference is not to be born-thus the remarks and pressures.... "living well is the best revenge" indeed, thanks for reminding me of that trojan, as it used to be on my bedroom wall. But she still gets to harass me, be mothers favorite, denies me support and walks away with gain. Sweet deal.

28.5 was quite literal for me but 2nd line is just kinda too pretty an event to just come about by itself. A little miracle is needed. "I think this answer suggests you not be so sure about that however things look. Things have a habit of turning and changing....worn out situations can produce completely unexpected 'children'."
I think you are making an excellent point to this line-the element of surprise. I hope in my favour.
The question was what stand to take...do I openly tell her to bugger off basically...hm...

 

[rosada]

Hexagram 28 speaks of a situation that is out of balance. The work must be spread more evenly or - if that's not possible - than the proper attitude is one of resignation and acceptance.

Line 28.2 says although the situation is unusual the two of you - on some level at least - are compatible. You might get value from looking at your combined astrological charts to see where the positive opportunities lie.

If you look at the trigrams for 32 you'll see that Mountain is below and Lake is above. Mountain has to do with limits and boundaries where as Lake is an open, joyous feeling. Together it says to me that we can have a superficial open, friendly attitude on the outside but on the inside we must keep up a boundary - not let the person barge right in.

 

[dragona]

I wish. But for now, judging by recent show, I am certain she will let me cope with all costs-emotional and material all by myself.

 

[anemos]

i think both the old man and the young girl are aspects of yourself. Somehow you need to do the match-making. The impression I get is that you have giver her the control of the situation. Every good or bad outcome depends on her. Maybe there are still things you can do, seek advice from laywers etc. but first you need to "see" that you have control on the situation.

h31 could be also the current "affair" between your sister and you. Whether she is willing to keep it or not its your choice to participate -or not.

I am certain she will let me cope

it takes two to tango. maybe she lets you and you let her. Don't know the details, so maybe i'm wrong, but that's what i also get from 31


Hex 28 reinforces that, imo. The roof is about to fall down. If it will collapse, your heads is going to be hurt, not your sister's. Let the "old man" to share what he knows with you. and let the young girl to be taught. Let them 31- it seems they need each other to plan a trip away the falling roof.

I do understand that family bonds makes the whole issue more difficult and sometimes we get into a freeze mode but sometimes we need just go beyond and stand alone, like the tree of h28.

 

[anemos]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4iMNrwGBbQ

 

[dragona]

I am bound by both necessity and obligation towards my mother as I lived on her income and in her place. I am also legally bound for additional costs.
My sister knows it. And has calculated that odds and know what she is doing. She does what she thinks needs to be done for her family to survive. I am out of that circle. It is hard for me to treat her as the enemy of my well being-emotional drainer and dismissive one as she is older and I was always told she is better/more worthy than me.
I cannot compete with that. I am drained as it is and my self-confidence is very low due to many disappointments that happened lately. It all took its tole as I know her troubles took tole on her but she chooses to take this road. I don`t know what I can do other than win a lottery. That would be a start.

 

[dragona]

an update on hex 28.2

Hello,
as an believer in updates and learning through experience, a short update may be of use here, I thought.
Here`s what happened.
My mother passed away. I was both sad/panicking. Had to go through all critical comments, all usual treatments, not so great surprises in conduct from spoiled youth quietly because I was outnumbered and mentioning anything would help me none. So I am left to remember and learn from them
The surprising factor, besides the demise I was scared of, was the fact that all costs were divided equally and sum was given from everybody as I forgot entirely that the custom here is and you are not supposed to decline.
I went to work for a day and then got awful sick, feeling totally drained and without focus now.

So the element of surprise, the influence that changed this situation and put it on the new level came from the source, so to speak. Noticing the obvious is a bit beyond me. Seeing flowers sprouting from the dying branch should be noticed with surprise but I go for "wow, pretty", "look at the contrast", "pencil or aquarel", "too much moist there"?uch:
Leveled headed objectivity is a must for translating a reading, I so believe.
This is why this forum is of value.

No idea what comes next from this situation but since you have been kind enough to offer your views on it, I felt I should reply.
Thank you for the help, d.

 

[anemos]

Sorry for your loss and thanks for the feedback.

Yi-wise seems that sums up well the reading

worn out situations can produce completely unexpected 'children'.

All the best in those difficult times and the new beginnings

 

[Trojina]

I'm very sorry for your loss Dragona and thankyou for updating the thread.


Your mother's death is surely going to change things between you and your sister now she has no hold on you does she.

 

[dragona]

now she has no hold on you does she.

Thank you BUT... the place I live in will be shared in half. Without enough to buy out, will to sell and no secure income I still end up in a place that needs fixing and is not my own. Nothing was discussed yet.
Life lessons were to hard to forget when it comes to trusting people.