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what do I mean to him? Two unchanging hexagrams.

G

gael123

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I'm struggling to let go of a relationship with a man who wouldn't commit to me - he seems married to his job, and when he's not working, he's travelling the world, refusing even to commit to being in a single place for very long but meeting old friend and who-knows-what in the various cities he has lived in. Unfortunately, I fell all too deeply, unwisely, and perhaps in some sense fantastically in love. I need to let go of this... I'm getting there... I've even seen a therapist about it, which is coming along. Lots of factors made this disappointment feel important, including big changes in my life at the time, from which I'm still emerging.

As part of this process, I decided to ask the IChing for clarity on his behaviour. (Whether asking questions about him helps me move forward or keeps me stuck is a fair question; I'm guessing I know the answer already; oh, dear.) I asked the following.

What do I mean to him? Hexagram 15 unchanging

What is his explanation for our not being together? Hexagram 7 unchanging.

One is almost half of the other, which is a bit how I felt about our levels of desire for intimacy. Though when he said goodbye to me the day we agreed it couldn't work, he cried.

Promising myself - this is my last question about this person. I need to move forward. The Iching agrees as it just gave me

hexagram 54.1.2, changing to 16

when I asked it what I should do in relation to him.

Thank you for your thoughts.

G
 

Lana73123

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Hexgram 54.1.2 says that, if you can - by using proper thought and conduct, take a back seat in the situation, and become detached and not driven by desire - you can make it through the situation. But in order for any success you must have patience and not start to feel anxious. You have to realize you have no influence in the current situation. If you think you need to continue on with him in some capacity you have to let it come on slow and in time.
Hexagram 16 says that you can be enthusiastic about what you are doing and how you are feeling but it mustn’t come through anxious desires and the need to seek certain outcomes. Remember - you have not control here. Instead focus on yourself, remind yourself of your principles and values and you will advance with less resistance. Your enthusiasm must come from a pure place with no motives.
The old saying if you love someone set them free comes into my mind. You can let go of everything except things fueled by ego. You can still keep in touch and remain friends and after some time has passed he may come back around.
 

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