what does he want from me?

[esolo]

I'm not going to bore you with the details. This is a question about a man who is expressing romantic interest in me.

What does he want from me?

25.2

‘Not ploughing and reaping, not weeding cleared fields,
And so then it is fruitful to have a direction to go.’

I think this is a pretty clear message that there are no ulterior motives here. He simply likes me. He doesn't know where it will lead but he's interested in pursuing me.

That was an encouraging reading.

Do you agree with my interpretation?

 

[esolo]

I'm sorry. I had to ask one other question that I think is very useful:

What's the best attitude for me to take to this relationship?

58.1

‘Responsive opening, good fortune.’

Well, I'm not going to worry in that case.

Both responses seem to be sending me the message that everything in fine. There aren't any hidden dangers here or ulterior motives.

OK!

 

[goddessliss]

Hi esolo I think you have it right plus 58.1 - maintain inner peace and you will have a harmonious connection with this man. Sounds lovely - Liss

 

[esolo]

Hi esolo I think you have it right plus 58.1 - maintain inner peace and you will have a harmonious connection with this man. Sounds lovely - Liss

Thank you for your input, Liss!

 

[esolo]

Another interpretation for the first reading (25.2) would be that he wants me to just relax and go with this without worrying about an end goal. He wants an attitude of...take it easy, have fun, lets see where this leads.

In other words, he doesn't want me pestering him with questions like, "Where are we at?" or "Where is this relationship headed?" as women are so fond of doing. He wants a relaxed, confident, easy-going attitude. He wants me to "let go" and let things develop as they will develop.

Fortunately, this is what I have been doing. I gave up trying to control romantic relationships a long time ago.

 

[Tim K]

I'm sorry to be a party-pooper but I don't share your views completely.

25.2 → 10 Shows one who reaps without having ploughed (that he might reap), and gathers the produce of his third year's fields without having cultivated them the first year for that end. To such a one there will be advantage in whatever direction he may move. (Legge)

This guy is 'all play and no work', he is not serious, he just wants to enjoy the benefits without lifting a finger.
Yi warns you: 10 Tread Carefully!

Same thing with What's the best attitude for me to take to this relationship?

58.1 → 47 (Restriction)
Legge: Shows the pleasure of (inward) harmony. There will be good fortune.
You don't need him, the real content comes from inside.

Wilhelm, 58:
A quiet, wordless, self-contained joy, desiring nothing from without and resting content with everything, remains free of all egotistic likes and dislikes. In this freedom lies good fortune, because it harbors the quiet security of a heart fortified within itself.

Yi warns: restrict your impulses, this relationship will not grow.

 

[esolo]

Thank you for your input.

This guy is 'all play and no work', he is not serious, he just wants to enjoy the benefits without lifting a finger.

Is that what the line means though? From what I've read from various translations/interpretations/commentaries it's about not having any specific goal in sight to obtain something and that this is a good thing. It's about doing something because you want to do it rather than doing it because you're going to get paid for it. Legge's commentary makes this point.

If we were to give a less than positive spin to the man's intentions using this line we could say that he doesn't have any goal in sight and is just out to have fun. Given the fact that we really don't know each other very well this might not be entirely negative. Perhaps it's just the reality of the present situation. How does one truly want something from someone he doesn't know very well?


I'm more inclined to agree with you about 58.1. Since there is no relationship right now the best thing for me to do is just be at peace with myself. Don't have any expectation.

 

[esolo]

I think the question is problematic.

Does 25.2 illustrate his attitude or the attitude he wants FROM ME?

IOW, who exactly has the attitude described there? Does he have that attitude toward me or is that an attitude that he wants me to adopt?

 

[esolo]

OK, I rephrased the question.

What is his attitude toward having a serious romantic relationship with me? (I don't want the attention of someone who is not interested in a serious relationship)

57, no moving lines

‘Subtly penetrating, creating small success.
Fruitful to have a direction to go,
Fruitful to see the great person.’

I think the easiest way to see this is to say that his attitude toward that is 57. So, his attitude is to...

Subtly penetrate the situation and to create small successes. There are no grand plans here (which matches with the earlier readings) as of yet. It's an image of gentle willingness to let it happen. He's neither against the idea nor is he for it.

There's no frenetic attitude here toward imposing his will on the situation in order to bring something about. However, he's also not resistant to the idea.

I think this is similar to 25.2.

I think he considers me merely interesting at this point. I don't see that there's much more than that going on. Not right now at least. It is true that we don't know each other very well.

So, if you'll bear with me (I'm trying to sort this out)...perhaps even this question was unhelpful. With that in mind I took the focus off myself and asked about him in general.

What is his attitude toward having a serious romantic relationship at this point in his life? 19.2 > 24

I think that clearly suggests that he's not against the idea. Now, whether or not he considers me a serious romantic interest or not is almost certainly up in the air at this point. He simply doesn't know..and I don't know either to be honest.

I would appreciate any thoughts.

 

[Tim K]

If we were to give a less than positive spin to the man's intentions using this line we could say that he doesn't have any goal in sight and is just out to have fun.

Subtly penetrate the situation and to create small successes. There are no grand plans here.

I think he considers me merely interesting at this point. I don't see that there's much more than that going on. Not right now at least.

Yes, just having fun.
I'm not saying he is evil, it's just that you got 10, and 47 as a relating hexes for both readings.

The third strike was nuclear 53.1 → 37 (of 25.2) :
Wilhelm:
The wild goose gradually moves towards the shore. The young son is in danger. There is gossip. No error.

The initial line suggests the first resting place in the flight of water birds from the water to the heights. The shore is reached. The situation is that of a lonely young man who is just starting out to make his way in life. Since no one comes to help him, his first steps are slow and hesitant, and he is surrounded by danger. Naturally he is subjected to much criticism. But these very difficulties keep him from being too hasty, and his progress is successful.

Also when you mentioned 19.2 I had a little laugh, because that's what I got when I tried for the second time to grow a mango tree, and I failed because I didn't know how to do it properly, or just because the seed was dead to start with.


By all means have fun, I just saw a little warning from Yi there, that he's not serious, that's all.

 

[blue_angel]

Hi Esolo,

This is just my opinion and my own experience and I understand everyone has a different one. But for what its worth... I find 90% of the time when asking what another feels or wants the yi immediately talks of my feelings or my wants. The rare times I was sure the yi was speaking of another person was because I already knew what the whole situation was or what the other person wanted, because they told me, I just didn't want to hear it...

with that said, for your first answer 25.2>10. I feel the yi is saying you are treading carefully and that's good. But the line to me reassures you that you don't have to, you reep benefits without having to work for them. Not that you don't want to work or are not willing to work but that you are blessed and can be content with that. You don't even have to do anything, its already there. So I don't actually see a warning if that's the case. And to further...

58.1>47, you know your restrictions, because line 1 says to me you are confident, you know what you want and don't want. You are happy with or without. Your path is clear and good. You have your principles set. And because of this you can connect with him, and I feel are encouraged to connect with him. I haven't looked at 19.2>24 as of yet and I can't recall an experience with it. But I could guess, it will further say, 24 you are on your right path, you know when to rest and turn inward and 19 as long as you don't expect the harvest to come before its ready, you are free to make a connection and enjoy yourself. Granted you are in the beginning so who knows what will become of it. The yi naturally isn't screaming 53 and 32 or 31, because you just met the guy. Sounds good to me, at least.

Take care and let us know how it all pans out.

Blue_Angel

 

[esolo]

Also when you mentioned 19.2 I had a little laugh, because that's what I got when I tried for the second time to grow a mango tree, and I failed because I didn't know how to do it properly, or just because the seed was dead to start with.

Before I continue let me say that I have not had even one date with this guy. I haven't had any physical contact with him either. That's why I thought it was a bit silly of me to ask about a relationship. Of course there isn't anything there at this point. That probably explains the readings.

He seems like a nice guy and the only reason we haven't gone out yet is because I live in another city. (I do know him in person but I haven't seen him in several years and even then I didn't know him well. Yet another reason my first questions were ridiculous.)

I think your understanding of 19.2 fits him. He does seem to worry an awful lot about "blowing it" with me. He did one minor thing a couple of months back that bothered me and when I expressed my mild displeasure he seemed to take it very hard. Blew it all out of proportion and from the tone of his email apology one might imagine that he had done something unforgivable. So, he's definitely worried about failing. (I actually found his worrying and the apologetic email very endearing.)

I'll go see him soon and we'll see how things go.

 

[esolo]

Thank you for your input, Blue Angel.

I think it's true that he's not serious because well, there isn't any reason to be serious at this point LOL It was a stupid question to ask.

I think he is serious though about getting to know me better.

 

[esolo]

I'd like to offer an update on this question/reading...and a new reading.

The guy just told me that while he's very interested in me and would like to see me....he doesn't want to disappoint me because he "can't control himself" and if we end up in a relationship he'll cheat on me.

WTF?

I told him that he could just tell me straight up that he's not interested and that I wouldn't be at all hurt. No, no...he said that he IS interested in me and wants me to go see him. He's just worried about disappointing me when he cheats on me. LOL

He explained that he has been wanting to tell me this for some time but couldn't work up the guts. It was a very strange conversation which mainly consisted of him saying, "I just know that I'm going to hurt you. I just KNOW it! I hurt everyone. I just do." etc.

I finally asked him what he wanted to do in that case. Does he want me to go see him or should we forget the whole thing? No, he wants me to go see him.

I'm not sure what's going on here. Is he trying for a 'friends with benefits' deal or is he genuinely disturbed over this idea that he's definitely going to break my heart. I appreciate the honesty but it was still an odd conversation. Toward the end he said, "See, you're already hurt. I've already hurt you!"...which wasn't at all true. I was more puzzled than anything else. I don't think I've ever had a man say anything like that to me. I don't know what to make of it.

So, I asked,

"What should be my attitude toward this relationship?"

5.6

The sixth line, magnetic, shows its subject entered into the cavern. But there are three guests coming, without being urged, to help her. If she receives them respectfully, there will be good fortune in the end.

My interpretation is that I shouldn't sweat it. It may turn out better than expected.

 

[Trojina]

WTF?

I told him that he could just tell me straight up that he's not interested and that I wouldn't be at all hurt. No, no...he said that he IS interested in me and wants me to go see him. He's just worried about disappointing me when he cheats on me. LOL

He explained that he has been wanting to tell me this for some time but couldn't work up the guts. It was a very strange conversation which mainly consisted of him saying, "I just know that I'm going to hurt you. I just KNOW it! I hurt everyone. I just do." etc.

what does he want from you ? A swift kick up the booty IMO. Don't waste another rminute of your time being insulted by this jerk. It is an insult ! He's basically playing a game of covering his bases. So he'd like to have you but he wants to make sure he can have you without you having any expectations of him so that he's free to see other women too. this means he gets what he wants but cannot be held responsible if you get upset when he cheats. How convenient for him !

The nastiest thing about this nitwit's game is he draws you in by saying he likes you and so touching your feelings....only to say that if he hurts them it's not his fault. And he does this under the cloak of such honesty.....how thoughtful of him....LOL


If you want an open relationship where you are both free to see others then this go for it. If you don't tell him if he cannot commit even a little bit then he isn't worth your time.


Mind you...that's not the reading. I've not read the rest of the thread or the backstory I just thought this was such a bloody insult to you...

Don't be fooled there is nothing 'honest' about what he said...it's just a game to get you where he wants you and an insulting one at that !



Ahem the cast...well 5.6 says things that look a bit weird, not what you'd normally want present themselves don't turn them away. So Yi isn't exactly agreeing with me. OTOH the reading may be saying to be open to other opportunities, better opportunities than if you hang out with this jerk.

 

[esolo]

I like your answer, Trojan

I totally appreciate what you're saying. You're right. It does look mighty strange and could certainly be interpreted the way you described. I can see it.

It's very strange. I'm usually very intuitive when someone's trying to scam me and this doesn't feel like that.

The very brief backstory on this is that I haven't seen the guy in about 8 years. There wasn't anything between us back then either. (We have never been intimate) We've just stayed in touch via email. So, in a way, I thought he was assuming a lot when he started telling me how worried he was. How does he know that I'm going to fall head over heels for him? Maybe I won't be able to stand him. I asked him how he was so sure of all of this and he said that he has done this in the past. I then asked him why he has no control over his actions etc.

He was doing this over the phone and I didn't pick up any deception in his voice. The guy sounded genuinely worried. If he's acting..he's a damn good actor!

As of now I'm going out of curiosity. I need to get away anyway. It will be interesting. I need some excitement in my life and this feels a bit like a cat and mouse game. I also want to bring this long drawn-out email relationship I have with the guy to a head. I won't be staying with him. I'm going to stay in a hotel.

But, I agree with you that 5.6 was a surprising cast given the circumstances. It seems to be saying that there's more here than meets the eye.

I asked what I can expect from him when I go there in a couple of months and I got:

3.1 > 8

‘Encircled by stones.
Fruitful to settle with constancy,
Fruitful to establish feudal lords.’

 

[esolo]

Something else that I found exceedingly strange. Perhaps you can make sense of it. He said,

"I'm going to be very jealous when I see you walk down the aisle with someone."

WHAT?

I said that I wasn't looking to get married necessarily. But, I was quite blown away by the oddness of that remark. It's not one that I would expect to come from a player/pick-up artist because it totally blows the mood. Know what I mean? I can't see a man intent on stringing a woman along saying that.

I asked the Yi why he said that and got 3.6 which is, of course, about tears and blood.

Personally? I think this man has some issues. There's something very pessimistic about his overall tone.

 

[eastern_girl]

Dear Esolo,

He sounds like a 31.6 kind of guy. I'm surprised Yi didn't give you that answer .

Listen to Bruce here, he's got a message for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBSnBfoqqPk

 

[esolo]

eastern_girl,

I think 31.6 is a good description of him based on what I've seen so far.

Great video

 

[esolo]

Dear Esolo,

He sounds like a 31.6 kind of guy. I'm surprised Yi didn't give you that answer .

Listen to Bruce here, he's got a message for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBSnBfoqqPk

Ok, I asked the Yi,

"What kind of man is he?" and I got 24.1 > 2

‘Not far away, returning – no regrets here.
From the source, good fortune.’

 

[eastern_girl]

"What kind of man is he?" and I got 24.1 > 2

Mmm..I'm not sure it refers to him. If the line talks about him, I honestly don't know how to read it in this context. The kind of guy who changes his mind... who makes mistakes but then regrets and tries to return to proper course until it's not too late ?!? I don't know...take it with a grain of salt.

If instead Yi is talking to you about you, I think it is saying that if you want to change your mind, return from an error, it's not too late and it could be a good decision (no regrets, good fortune).

 

[esolo]

He has done precisely that on several occasions. He has done something he has really regretted and then apologized for it. He says that he has a problem with being impulsive. If that's true then this line would make sense.

At the very least it's not a terribly awful line. I want to believe that this guy is just a bit "out there" rather than deliberately manipulative.

 

[eastern_girl]

I incline to see that line as advice. But of course I'm biased and speaking from my own experience. I had my share of this kind of guys and I'm not going back there. No, no... Enough with the boys, I'm gonna listen to Bruce and find a good man.

But even if the line refers to him and his way of being, wouldn't you prefer someone who is emotionally mature and stable, who knows what he wants and how to treat you right? I'm just sayin', it's up to you to decide what to do next, of course.

All the best,
Eastern Girl

 

[esolo]

I incline to see that line as advice. But of course I'm biased and speaking from my own experience. I had my share of this kind of guys and I'm not going back there. No, no... Enough with the boys, I'm gonna listen to Bruce and find a good man.

But even if the line refers to him and his way of being, wouldn't you prefer someone who is emotionally mature and stable, who knows what he wants and how to treat you right? I'm just sayin', it's up to you to decide what to do next, of course.

All the best,
Eastern Girl

I've never met an emotional mature and stable man LOL

Anyway, his friendship might be very useful for me. So, I don't want to cut him loose without scoping this out a bit more from up close. As long as he's not a serial killer....

Obviously though, one cannot expect too much from a guy like this and I'm not.

 

[goddessliss]

I've never met an emotional mature and stable man LOL

Oo ouch but I'm inclined to agree!!

 

[Trojina]

Ok, I asked the Yi,

"What kind of man is he?" and I got 24.1 > 2

‘Not far away, returning – no regrets here.
From the source, good fortune.’

I really do think this is not a description of him but a description of what you will do regarding him. You will make an easy return from a possible error. IOW you will soon go back to your centre to your truth .