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What effort to make with co-worker? 5.4.5 > 34

msmith

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Dear all
I’m working abroad and there is just one other person from my ethnic minority at work. We get on okay but it feels a bit forced. He’s been working here a long time and knows how things work but I hate to ask for help too much for fear of being too codependent.

So I asked what effort should I make with him: 5.4.5 > 34… maybe I should invite him for dinner?!

I also asked how I can feel more comfortable with him: 56 UC… maybe I’m just passing through but I should be respectful all the while?

It's been bothering me for a while so would really appreciate any thoughts on my interpretations. Thank you.
 

moss elk

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Dear all
I’m working abroad and there is just one other person from my ethnic minority at work. We get on okay but it feels a bit forced.
Then don't force it. Don't expect too much.

So I asked what effort should I make with him: 5.4.5 > 34… maybe I should invite him for dinner?!
Be of good cheer.
Don't dread so much. (Line 4)
Lunch (line 5) would be better because then he'd be less likey to msinterpret your intentions. (No breaching protocol 34)

I also asked how I can feel more comfortable with him: 56 UC… maybe I’m just passing through but I should be respectful all the while?
Don't expect too much.
And don't limit your workplace friendship to those of the same ethnic group. Don't make rules for yourself that limit or impede others.
 

msmith

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ok thanks for that, yes i should keep it chilled, cheers
 

msmith

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btw why do you think it would break protocol me inviting him (and his gf) to dinner - I guess it's beacuse I'm taking a position of power (?!) hwen in fact i'm the newbie, is that what you mean? thanks..
 

moss elk

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Perhaps she wouldn't like it and in fact find it disrespectful?
34 - the jun zi will not take a step outside of respect.
 

ginnie

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Yes, I agree with Moss Elk, definitely enjoy a shared lunchtime but I wouldn't host a dinner, if I were you. You want to keep it light.
 

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