What IS going on?

[justa]

Hello lovely people,
So, my crush finally started making moves. I was in a terribly vulnerable place and he approached me and was very supportive!
Thus followed several coffees together, a couple of dinners, a trip to the theatre and much hanging out, culminating in 5 hours of the most intense and honest talking (all this instigated by him I must add) He hasn't even kissed me, in fact we haven't even touched really. He tells me that he now believes relationships must start in the living room, not bedroom ( I agree) that I am lovely, and that new relationships must be treated like beautiful buds nurtured into bloom!
Then nothing. I haven't seen him or heard in person from him apart from a voicemail returning a call I made first! I have had a daily text with a spiritual qoute and well, that's it! When I have replied...nothing. I am so confused. What is going on here?
I ask, 'What role do I play in J... life?' I recieve Hex 1 lines1/2/3/4/5/6 to Hex 2, I know this is rare, but I have recieved it several times in questions regarding him!!!
Then I ask 'Why has J...withdrawn from me?' and I recieve Hex 25 lines 1/2/3/4/5/6 changing to 46. Please help. I am blue and feel confused and hurt and rejected

 

[meng]

I'm not going to pretend I can interpret this with any certainty. 1 changing to 2 is a very dynamic occurrence.

However, given the little background that you've provided, my impression is that you act as a grounding to his high energy. While this makes your encounter highly charged, it's questionable whether there is potential for balance and equality within this relationship. It may be that he needs to be in charge, while you merely act as a grounding or possibly an enabler.

Sorry if this sounds negative. Don't take it to heart, it's just my impression. And I don't mean to say it is hopeless either, but this is how it looks to me now. I've even wondered if the reading implies that he is gay or asexual, and enjoys your company on an intellectual and platonic level.

 

[justa]

Blimey! I don't think he is gay, he was a bit of a womaniser in the past and is currently doing lots of personal development like me! Gosh, it#s just that the physical chemistry is unbelieable between us. Many other people have commented on it. I don't really get it.
But thanks for your insight.

 

[meng]

lol, guess there wasn't much insight.

But the sense you're getting of your own situation seems like your reading, no?

 

[luz]

Justa,

It can be very confusing, I'm sure, but this kind of thing happens all the time. You get a lot of positive messages from this person and, while he might not be gay, he now is simply showing that he is not very interested in having the kind of relationship that you want to have. Perhaps he is attracted to you but maybe he is trying to be more careful about getting into a relationship that he knows is not going to last. Maybe that is his own personal progress, as a former womanizer.

Looking at your previous threads, I see you met him in a support group and that makes me think that Meng could be right when he says he sees you as a grounding agent, or something like that. You are perhaps a part of his recovery or improvement effort. But, like the book everybody quotes says, he is just not that into you.

This can be very heartbreaking and frustrating, after all that talk about the budding flower. But he is obviously neglecting to water that bud, how can it ever become a flower?! The truth is, when a man and a woman are truly and completely attracted(body,soul, the whole enchilada), the relationship can start anywhere, in the bedroom, in the living room or in the kitchen. If it's meant to develop correctly, nothing will be lacking. Love is, indeed, all you need.

So, don't waste any more time, you had a good run there, maybe it was as close as it will get to having a relationship with him. You can not regret not having the chance, you were as close as could be and things just didn't pan out. Unless he knocks on your door this weekend with a ring in his pocket, in which case I will gladly eat all my words in this post in one big bite!:bag: Good luck!

 

[justa]

Ouch! but thanks for your honesty. I've been giving that book to all my friends and yacking on about life being a deep let go etc...talk about you teach best what you most need to learn! I think I'll go and have a cry...

 

[Tony_L]

Justa writes: "I ask, 'What role do I play in J... life?' I recieve Hex 1 lines1/2/3/4/5/6 to Hex 2, I know this is rare, but I have recieved it several times in questions regarding him!!!
Then I ask 'Why has J...withdrawn from me?' and I recieve Hex 25 lines 1/2/3/4/5/6 changing to 46."

Hi Justa,

Let me add my two cents. To receive all changing lines in both questions is a rare occurrence and must have some significance. My guess would be that the 12 changing lines in the space of two questions refer to the complexity of the situation. A lot must be going on that you are not yet aware of. Things will probably fall into place eventually, but in stages over time.

Like meng, the question of his being conflicted about being gay or bisexual (1 <> 2) flashed through my mind. There may be something he feels he can't tell you because he cares about you so much (25 > 46, innocence ascending, not embroiling you in his attempts to lift himself up). Things like herpes and HIV come to mind, or a prior marriage, drug addition, or children he must support, etc.

Your first question is about what role you play in J's life, and the response is 1 (all yang) changing to 2 (all yin). Is your role to change his extreme yang behavior into yin behavior? 1 is creative, so you must be helping him to initiate or create something significant. You are acting as his Muse, a source of inspiration. When all the yang lines change in 1, you see dragons without a head. Maybe what he has shown you so far are his dragons and he has gone in search of a head. All yang lines in 1 is regarded as auspicious, so I wouldn't give up yet. My guess is that he will contact you once he gets his head back on straight.

1 (your role in his life) changes to 2 -- supportive, nurturing, receptive. By helping him initiate something significant, you now play a supporting role. Karcher says of 2, "at first you will be confused by everything that is going on, but you will soon understand what needs to be done. ... The Way opens through quiet understanding and acceptance."

Hope this is of some use.

Tony

 

[dobro p]

justa - you drew two different hexagrams with all changing lines. One thing that can mean is a really flip-flop situation, one that runs really hot first, then cold. That seems to fit the picture with the situation you've described. If I was asking the Yi about a romantic relationship that I hoped would graduate into something more stable and reliable and enduring, I'd want a hexagram with a positive outlook for relationships (53, 14, 31, 32 - that sort of thing) and NO CHANGING LINES.

 

[justa]

Hi Tony,

Well WOW, thank you for that. While I really don't think he is gay ( I know I could be totally wrong and he could be in love with our mutual friend, Larry) I do believe he has a secret. We met in a 12 step support group, none of us end up in recovery because we spent our days dancing through buttercups in meadows, banging tambourines! LOL. I know he has a past and he has honestly shared lots of it with me. Our backgrounds are VERY different. I grew up the very sheltered and priviliged youngest daughter in a wealthy family and he only a few miles down the road, but about as different from my background as night is from day! That being said, there are some similarities in childhood experience that are just weird. And we actually look like we could be brother and sister!!!
This man has been to prison more than once, he has grown up kids, he's had a crazy life and has changed it so much he might as well have travelled to Mars! When we went out on these dates he was so gentlemanly and chivilrous and you know, HE instigated it all.
And I do get the feeling he has me on a bit of a pedestal. Or sees me as something I am not. He has compared me to a china doll that sort of thing. Another form of divination has actually spoken of some kind of sexual problem, VD, that sort of thing, even a perversion or sexual violence But I had brushed it off till now. Thing is, I love him, and I don't care about his past. It's what he is like now that matters to me, you know? I wish I could let him see that
Justa x

 

[Tony_L]

Justa,

I wasn't meaning to pry into your personal life, but thanks for offering the details. They help flesh out the picture. My sense is that he will contact you once he works some things out. He does seem to be holding back some secret because, as you say, he holds you on a pedestal. Maybe 25>46 is saying that in his attempt to restore his innocense (25) he is overidealizing you, that is, lifting you up (46) higher than you belong. This was a response to 'Why has J...withdrawn from me?' He may feel that you are too good for him.

 

[mudpie]

25> 46 sounds like he might not want to get involved until he gains some time in sobriety ...is he fairly new to recovery? if so, this could be the advice he is getting from his mentors/sponsors.

also, my take on 1 > 2 is that you represent a total break from the past, a hugely different type of relationship, one in which he might feel like he is almost powerless, weak in the knees, on unfamiliar ground.....but neverthe less, it is a potential that he wants wholeheartedly, perhaps.......but may not have any clue as to how to proceed since it is so different from what he has done before.

 

[willowfox]

The energy surrounding Hex 1 and 2 is so very positive, it is literally the male and female, it is like you are the missing side of him, like a puzzle where both pieces fit together perfectly.

Also, there is no sign that he is gay, he appears to be a very hot blood man who likes his woman.


As for Hex 25 and its changing lines, it seems to suggest that his non involvement is completely innocent in nature, he has his reasons and there seems to be no hidden or nasty motives.

 

[justa]

Well, thank goodness for that! Thank you Willowfox and Listener. Actually, he has been in recovery much loneger than me. I'm just coming up to my second birthday and he's been around for 5 or 6 years!
I worked myself up into a bit of a state last night LOL and was imagining all kinds of secret stuff!!! Maybe things will shift soon.

 

[Trojina]

Well, thank goodness for that! Thank you Willowfox and Listener. Actually, he has been in recovery much loneger than me. I'm just coming up to my second birthday and he's been around for 5 or 6 years!
I worked myself up into a bit of a state last night LOL and was imagining all kinds of secret stuff!!! Maybe things will shift soon.

Thank Goodness for what though ? Whats happening here ? Have a look at what Hexagon says on the thread entitled "All those relationship questions" in the Exploring divination section. Seems to me what you are saying 'thank goodness' for is that a few people have told you a romantic relationship will work out between you. Thats their take on your reading - its no reason for you to feel 'relief'. They don't know the facts or the future any more than you do.

In you first post you don't say how long he has left it without making contact. Perhaps what seems a long time to you doesn't to him ?

 

[justa]

Yes, thank you Trojan, I see your point, and actually it has only been a couple of days, really and only one day with no contact at all. What can I say ? I have abandonment issues! What I meant, as it happens, is that last night I triggered myself into some rather paranoid 'What If's?' is all!