What is he going to realize about us?

[springflower]

My ex fiance told me a couple of days ago that we pause our relationship because we have to realize some things.
So I asked: What is he going to realize about us?
6.1
6.6
->58
Conflict to joy or pleasure.
After our conflict is he going to realize that our relationship makes him happy? Also 58 shows two lakes resting one on the other: is this a sign of a pleasant relationship for us?

 

[loverofknowledge]

Hi Springflower,

It can be hard to ask about what another person is experiencing or feeling or will experience or feel. The iching, as I see it, gives you the ability to choose (and thus change a situation), but if you ask about your partner, you are not in the position to choose for him.

That's how I see the iching, if you see what I mean.

Hilary has a thread that deals with this kind of question (about what another person is feeling or wanting).
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...42-Blog-post-Advice-for-relationship-readings

If you were to ask the question about yourself, "what can I realize about our relationship through this pause, " then maybe you could read the hexagram that way, and then take action (or not) according to the response. It seems that hexagram 58 is the context of your question and what you have had and would like to have with your fiancé: an open, pleasant communication.

Then 6.1.6 speaks about the circumstances or obstacles that are now happening, during this pause.

 

[springflower]

Sorry I feel confused

 

[diamanda]

My ex fiance told me a couple of days ago that we pause our relationship because we have to realize some things.
So I asked: What is he going to realize about us?
6.1
6.6
->58

Has he even mentioned what 'things' you'll need to think about and realise...?
Because it sounds strange, and untruthful, to tell you a vague "we're separating to realise things".

The answer shows two polarities.
One person doesn't want any arguments (6.1) and the other person drags an argument to the end (6.6).
58 shows negotiation and compromise.

He obviously wants you to stop arguing about a specific subject.
However, only you know if that subject is important and crucial or not - if it's worth not arguing about.

 

[loverofknowledge]

Diamanda is giving an insightful interpretation. I just meant that it's easier to get a clear answer, from the iching, when the question is about yourself -- and things you can change yourself -- rather than asking about another person's experiences and feelings.

 

[springflower]

Yes, he has financial problems and he doesn't know if he is able to support our wedding etc. That's the problem. He felt that I couldn't understand and support him.

 

[diamanda]

Loverofknowledge, the issue here seems to be the guy, as he is the undecided one. So I believe it's best to ask questions about him. Especially given the fact that he appears to be so insincere (i.e. the issue can't be solved with talking about it with him directly). Springflower is in love, so if she got an answer strictly about herself (eg something like run away from him to save your life and your pocket) she most probably wouldn't believe it, and would interpret it in some "self betterment" manner which would not be helpful.

Springflower, your (ex) fiance sounds insincere. Now that you mention financial problems, it gives a new further meaning to 58 ("exchange"). Ok he's got financial problems and he wants you to support him - but in what manner exactly? Does he want you to support him financially? It all sounds like a very weak reason to separate. He's not telling you the full truth.

 

[loverofknowledge]

Diamanda, I had not thought of it from that angle. I see what you mean though.
I consult that iching usually to ask how I can best behave in a given situation, though I guess that asking about other people is often implied. good point.

 

[diamanda]

Yes I know what you mean, asking how we can best behave and act is very often a valuable question.

 

[springflower]

He had a business but unfortunately he Declared Bankruptcy. It was so sudden and he doesn't know how to cope with. I am not able to support him. He owes a lot of money. He told me exactly " this is a pause till to realize some things" I can understand how serious problem it is. But I can't understand how you push away people who love you. Although we have a sort of communication he is not close to me. I am the one who call him or send him messages.

I asked before Iching If he will come closer to me as before.
7.1
7.2
-> 24

I am sorry I cannot understand...army to return. I don't like arguments and battles.

 

[diamanda]

I asked before Iching If he will come closer to me as before.
7.1.2 > 24

Sorry springflower, it doesn't sound like he will come closer to you.
The answer says he's totally focused on some sort of 'battle', which he is determined to win.
He is totally focused on this, and on a particular group of people who will help him accomplish it.
His aim is to be free and comfortable (24).
Nothing in this answer mentions love, or closeness with a partner.

he Declared Bankruptcy. It was so sudden and he doesn't know how to cope with. I am not able to support him. He owes a lot of money

He is not sincere to you.
When someone owes a lot, and they are approaching bankruptcy, they know it very well.
It really doesn't happen suddenly.
Also, you are very correct that this is not a reason to push away your loved ones.
He sounds like a very dodgy person...

 

[springflower]

diamanda you are right. The only thing that he wants is to overcome his financial problem. This is the battle he wants to win. Our relationship is not his priority at the moment I know that. It makes sense. Thank you.