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What is my best course? [Hex16>33]

caftheflame

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More family stuff. So I've gone through one cycle of understanding and forgiving my mother, but now, I've been having nightmares about my father. I asked what my best course was, in terms of reconciling this negative energy in me, and I got Hexagram 16.3.5.6>33. Any ideas? Thanks.
My thought is that I should just keep doing what I'm doing, but 'persistently ill' from Line 5 doesn't sound like a good omen. Especially if this is my best course.
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When I got Hexagram 16, I saw it as the pressure I put on myself to complete the thing, rather than focus on the simple path of doing the thing. I no longer fear the mistakes I make, but still want to rush ahead. Thus, I am enthusiastic about the goal, but lack the perseverance. This creates a sort of 3.6 feeling, tears of blood, eternal labor. Instead, I am looking for an external sign (16.3) to continue my work. I complain about how angry I am at myself in my head a lot, as in 16.5. But this keeps me from blaming others, and thus allows some sort of possibility for momentum. I think that the answer to how I may move ahead lies in line 6. I must discard the illusions I have of how things could be, and work with the way things are.
 
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RindaR

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The cycle of abuse is like a kind of dance or pattern of behavior. It occurs in at least two or three variations that may be relevant here.

It can happen like this: person 1 is angry/frustrated and abuses person 2; person 2 notes the abuse and becomes angry and retaliates; if person 1 has discharged the energy he/she may back off, and becomes aware that she/he has trespassed a boundary and makes an attempt to reconcile. (Oh I'm so sorry! I don't know why I get so angry, you know I don't mean it, etc,etc.) A period of calm then may ensue. If a change is planned at this stage and then executed (hopefully using new insight) the cycle may be dampened. Otherwise small tensions begin to arouse anger/frustration again which may build to the point that the cycle begins again. Each recurrence of the cycle tends to be more intense, which is the reason domestic violence tends to become lethal.

Another variation of this cycle occurs if person 2 is able to respond to person 1's outburst from a centered stable and aware position, the energy is much more likely to be deflected or dissipated. Person 1 may then be able to calm down enough to realize the previous response was not reasonable or effective, and the dance takes a different turn. Hopefully person 1 will attempt a new plan to resolve the triggering situation, perhaps with some help from person 2. In either case, if person 2 remains calm and centered they will be able to decide how they want to respond, rather than reacting blindly.

In another variation, should person 2 buy into the dance and become angry in response to the abuse given by person 1, there is high risk of perpetuating the cycle. In that case person 2 takes the place of person 1 in the first scenario above. The "victim" then becomes the "abuser".

So, in light of this pattern/these patterns in this all too common dance, you ask Yi the best way to reconcile the negative energy present in your situation and you get a response from Yi of 16.3.5.6.

I think the term "enthusiasm" in 16 may refer to the energy present in this whole situation (the idea of an image, and the shuttle that passes between the weavers hands=the family as the cloth or what is being created here, and the energy that passes between you=the shuttle).

line 3 seems to be saying be aware of how this dance happens, forgiveness is done for yourself- not the other. Staying angry is like drinking poison to make another person sick. You can't control anyone but yourself (and if you are like me, you may not always succeed even at that. ;)) It also says start now, waiting only will make things worse.

line 5 seems to be saying this is not easy, you can be effective, hang in there. It will not last forever.

line 6 seems to say it will be ok if you have had a few false starts, make a change in yourself and you will succeed. It also says it's a good thing to get help with this. Your family may or may not be willing to consider therapy. If not it can help a bunch if you can get it for yourself. There may be other kinds of help that could also make a difference for you.
 

caftheflame

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Thank you, rinda.

I am glad to have your advice. I'll be putting it into place over the next few days, seeing how it goes, and adjusting as needed.
 

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