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What is the relationship potential between me and X? Hex 61.2.5 to 27

dancingfox

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Hi everybody

It's been a long time!

I have been single for 3 years. I've needed a lot of time to heal from some ugly emotional wounds after my last relationship. For a long time I wasn't ready to open my heart again to love. There have been some romantic encounters but none of those men really caught my interest.

Then in July I met X through an online dating platform. I usually get bored really fast with online chatting (to superficial) and it rarely comes to a date because of this. With X it was different from the start, we had this lovely chemistry going on right from the beginning. Then we went on a date after a month of chatting with each other on a daily basis. When we met it was like fireworks, it's been a very long time since I felt such a strong mutual attraction with a man, and not just physical either. We agreed to see eachother again, but he asked me to wait for a month because he has a very busy schedule in September.

He works as a flooring contractor, plays sax in a band, practises martial arts and organises music festivals on a regular basis. It's all a bit daunting to me since I am at such a different stage in my life. I suddenly have lot's of time on my hands and have been looking for new activities and hobbies to connect with people. I just moved out from my dads house so my life has changed drastically. I've had a lot of personal goals that I fulfilled recently, which is great but right now I feel like I am at a treshold of my new life and I am still filling in the blancs. Despite the fact that we have very different lifes we do seem to complement each other somehow.

We keep chatting on a daily basis and he keeps reaching out to me reassuring me he really wants to pick up where we left of after our first date. I have been sceptic on my part, having some trust issues after dissapointments in past lovelife. Despite my distrust I decided to give him (and myself :) )a fair chance but it's been difficult. I really don't know what to think of this. All I know is that I am experiencing real feelings again, after a very long time of feeling completely numb in matters of the heart.

Perhaps I am going a bit over board with my question here: What is the relationship potential between me and X?
But I just want to get a feel af what could be possible, if it resonates with the intensity of my feelings.

I got hex 61.2.5 to 27
Seems like a wonderful answer. Trust and nourishment, truth and confidence as a bond. Keep doing what we are doing.

Any other insight would be much, much welcomed.

Sorry for the long rant, I guess it feels good to get it all out like this <3
 

becalm

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It sounds like a great reading dancingfox and I hope it's the case!! I'm too cynical about what you've said though having opened my heart up in the dating world only to have it crushed each time. I've been on my own ten years now and haven't even got close to meeting a man that's worthy. I really do hope this works out for you.
 

marybluesky

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What is the relationship potential between me and X? I got hex 61.2.5 to 27
Great reading! Calling each other from a distance to share the wine (61.2); then having trust and confidence as a bond (61.5). Inner Truth (61) that is Nourishing (27).
 

foxx777

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Hi everybody

It's been a long time!

I have been single for 3 years. I've needed a lot of time to heal from some ugly emotional wounds after my last relationship. For a long time I wasn't ready to open my heart again to love. There have been some romantic encounters but none of those men really caught my interest.

Then in July I met X through an online dating platform. I usually get bored really fast with online chatting (to superficial) and it rarely comes to a date because of this. With X it was different from the start, we had this lovely chemistry going on right from the beginning. Then we went on a date after a month of chatting with each other on a daily basis. When we met it was like fireworks, it's been a very long time since I felt such a strong mutual attraction with a man, and not just physical either. We agreed to see eachother again, but he asked me to wait for a month because he has a very busy schedule in September.

He works as a flooring contractor, plays sax in a band, practises martial arts and organises music festivals on a regular basis. It's all a bit daunting to me since I am at such a different stage in my life. I suddenly have lot's of time on my hands and have been looking for new activities and hobbies to connect with people. I just moved out from my dads house so my life has changed drastically. I've had a lot of personal goals that I fulfilled recently, which is great but right now I feel like I am at a treshold of my new life and I am still filling in the blancs. Despite the fact that we have very different lifes we do seem to complement each other somehow.

We keep chatting on a daily basis and he keeps reaching out to me reassuring me he really wants to pick up where we left of after our first date. I have been sceptic on my part, having some trust issues after dissapointments in past lovelife. Despite my distrust I decided to give him (and myself :) )a fair chance but it's been difficult. I really don't know what to think of this. All I know is that I am experiencing real feelings again, after a very long time of feeling completely numb in matters of the heart.

Perhaps I am going a bit over board with my question here: What is the relationship potential between me and X?
But I just want to get a feel af what could be possible, if it resonates with the intensity of my feelings.

I got hex 61.2.5 to 27
Seems like a wonderful answer. Trust and nourishment, truth and confidence as a bond. Keep doing what we are doing.

Any other insight would be much, much welcomed.

Sorry for the long rant, I guess it feels good to get it all out like this <3
I would take this as a very positive response. Please update us.
 

diamanda

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I also see your reading as mainly positive. Lots of mutual chemistry. The resulting 27 is a bit of a mixed bag though. It's good to be hungry about a partner - but it also means hungry and not eating, which could show that he might sizzle you with remote intimacy and still leave you hungry. I Ching apart, playing in a band and being heavily involved in music festivals clearly shows a player.
 

dancingfox

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Update

Turns out he was just a player. I am working through a rollercoaster of bad feelings, but also relieved because now I know I can move on from these emotionally very unsettling, uncertain past weeks.

Ah well, this too shall pass...
 

foxx777

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Update

Turns out he was just a player. I am working through a rollercoaster of bad feelings, but also relieved because now I know I can move on from these emotionally very unsettling, uncertain past weeks.

Ah well, this too shall pass...
Sorry to hear this. To me 61.2.5 is very positive so it’s another example of Yi indications being untrustworthy. Unless something changes......
 

rosada

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Aw shucks. As to whether these positive indications resulting in lousy outcomes mean the Yi is untrustworthy, I see this more as an example of how the I Ching is able to give us a snapshot of how things are at the moment the question is asked, but also a warning to beware that we not assume a good hexagram means more than it does. In this case the question was, What is the potential? 61.2.5>27: Heart felt > Conversation. Sounds wonderful but..it never made it beyond the talking stage. Sigh...
 

foxx777

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Aw shucks. As to whether these positive indications resulting in lousy outcomes mean the Yi is untrustworthy, I see this more as an example of how the I Ching is able to give us a snapshot of how things are at the moment the question is asked, but also a warning to beware that we not assume a good hexagram means more than it does. In this case the question was, What is the potential? 61.2.5>27: Heart felt > Conversation. Sounds wonderful but..it never made it beyond the talking stage. Sigh...
I guess my problem (and likely the same with many others) is that when I ask the Yi a question, I’m asking about the future, as I’m already aware of what I’m feeling, and of what the situation is. In this case, it never made it past the talking stage, which kind of negates 61.2.5 if this guy is just a player. 8.3, in which “there is no real association with the other” would have been a more accurate response from the Yi to her. Unless she’s misjudged him, and he’s not just a player.....
 

rosada

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Yeah, why is it that when there is a much more fitting line we get one that is vague? Gonna ask IC about that...
 

Trojina

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I got hex 61.2.5 to 27
Seems like a wonderful answer. Trust and nourishment, truth and confidence as a bond. Keep doing what we are doing.

Any other insight would be much, much welcomed.

Sorry for the long rant, I guess it feels good to get it all out like this <3
I've not read all responses but enough to get the gist that this was seen all good. I think it shows a picture of the potential quite well - you see the word 'intensity' and in 61 one's inner world looms large, it's mega real, what you feel inside is your truth, not necessarily 'the truth' but your truth.

You said


erhaps I am going a bit over board with my question here: What is the relationship potential between me and X?
But I just want to get a feel af what could be possible, if it resonates with the intensity of my feelings.
It's amazing you got 61 when you used the words 'resonates' and 'intensity', so 61 was sure describing what's happening for you with him. There is potential because you are/were already exploring that potential. However 27 does not mean it will be nourishing, 27 is open jaws so it is what is needed, needs, what is necessary, hungers. So the answer is a picture of very intense and real hungers which in a sense both of you were trying to fill, even as a player he is trying to fill hungers, anyone who is searching for more connection has a need, a hunger. 61 of course, wind over the lake, there's great resonance, reflection of the sky in the water, the wind ruffling the surface, the reverberation between the elements.


So you must have both had this hunger, this need and you did spend time pleasantly chatting and exchanging as in line 2 and there was/is a genuine bond, in as far as it went, between you (line 5) but for both of you there's a thread of danger in need, danger in the neediness that can make anyone go towards the 'wrong' person. The yang pattern here is 29, yin pattern 30 so if anything this experience should give you more clarity about what you need and an awareness of the dark waters this need can take you.

So I think perhaps regardless of whether he is a player doesn't, from Yi's stance in this answer, mean he was not genuine (this is Yi not me) when reaching out to you. 61>27 is going to be intensely feeling inner emptiness, emotional need, hunger, all kinds of needs an if you think about it what are players doing but trying to feed themselves more and they can be driven by 'what if this doesn't work then I need a backup or may two backups', in the end players are eternally hungry. This cast can give me a picture of a really honestly empty and yearning open mouth searching for food. Remind sme of a child facing a huge table of party food - which treat first to eat ? Adults know too much face stuffing = bad stomach but all the child knows is 'I want this - all of it' (well some children). There's much to do with knowing what will nourish, choosing what will nourish carefully in 27. So 27 doesn't mean actual nourishment but the need for it.


I've hypothesized in the past that relationship answers can seem misleading because Yi is actually referring to the highest potential between any 2 people regardless of how that relationship is labelled in modern times. That is for this to be anything for you you would see it as either a romantic man/woman lasting relationship material or not. I don't think Yi works quite that way, not from what I have seen of relationship questions. There was an enjoyable exchange between the two of you and it was heartfelt not fake but perhaps there was danger to you both in the very intensity and openness of the need and also for him his 'feeding' mechanisms, psychologically, if he is a player, are skewiff. He perhaps though needing and wanting desperately cannot trust, like the child at the table of party food, that some food will be much better for him than others, he's grabbing at what he can get.


So overall I don't feel you should class what went on between you was just you being made a fool of, there's genuine sharing there. I think the issue is possibly with how the needs between you were handled. I don't wish to be sympathetic to players but I also wonder how capable he is/was of eating proper food/finding good attachments. I could see it that he was keeping a lot of options open because he is genuinely trying to get his needs met and believes that can't happen by being as truthful and sincere as he could be...yet that deosn't mean his attachment to you was not sincere, if that makes sense.

I also get the sense from the cast of hungers that are too open, wide open and this must apply to you too. Seems to me the impulse to connect with him was genuine, good, not regrettable but you possibly needed a little more clarity on how far your own hungers might take you. I mean the change patterns of 29/30 show there's a lot to learn here, there's danger, a rocky ride but also clarity through that.
 

becalm

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No one is that busy, it just depends where you are on their priority list.
Honestly despite YI giving you a bum steer (for whatever reason) it's best to learn, like I finally did to see the RED FLAGS straight up!
It's amazing what we're prepared to do and give to make things work BUT are they prepared to do the same - I doubt.
I now don't just apply it to potential lovers I apply to all my relationships including my children. Amazing how much more you give to yourself that way.
 

my_key

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I've been looking at the bad press that the Yi has been getting about giving a bum steer for dancingfox. In my experience when I look back at my readings which I consider to have been wrong( ?), I realise that it is normally a question of me having been wrong: making assumptions, missing the truth that was too difficult (painful) to see, not spending enough time looking at the relationship of the question and the casting etc.

This question is clearly, for me, about 'potential' and not about 'romantic involvement'. The castings of relationship questions can have much to say about how we hold ourselves inside. It sort of says, the relationship I have with myself on the inside is going to be reflected in the relationships I have with others on the outside. If I look to explore what the outer relationship is going to be like it might be a good idea to check out what's going on in the inside and what it means there.

To my mind this isn't so much of a bum steer from Yi but more one of looking in the wrong direction for the wisdom.

What is the relationship potential between me and X? I got hex 61.2.5 to 27

61: Inner Truth means trust
27: Nourishment means correcting the source of nourishment.

The relationship potential between me and X can be seen within an over-arching picture of correcting the source of nourishment (27). There is a whole heap of potential in the relationship to align inner vision with outer circumstances provided that the situation and X can be approached with sincerity and honesty.
A noble one deliberates over legal proceedings and delays executions.’
Then the potential of the piggies and the fishes will be able to be gathered (61).

There is a potential for a deep connection here provided that everyone is able to sing from the same hymnsheet. Old thoughts and ways of feeling can be stripped away to release the full potential. (61.2)

Finding a way for this to be achieved will release the true potential in the relationship, bringing forward an inner connection to new confidence and truth. (61.5)

Good Luck
 

dancingfox

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I also get the sense from the cast of hungers that are too open, wide open and this must apply to you too. Seems to me the impulse to connect with him was genuine, good, not regrettable but you possibly needed a little more clarity on how far your own hungers might take you. I mean the change patterns of 29/30 show there's a lot to learn here, there's danger, a rocky ride but also clarity through that.

Yes Trojan,

Hungers that were to wide open for the both of us. A genuine connection for a while, absolutely. But somewhere along the way it changed from a genuine connection to a hunger (a second date that never happened) that never quite got fulfilled. He wanted to keep on chatting... but kept avoiding a second date. I asked twice about another date but he kept dodging the subject. It made me feel gullible, like a fool. Our communication started feeling forced to me, I became aloof, stopped initiating chatting and after a while our connection just faded away. I called him a player because I suspected it all along with his lifestyle (playing in a band, organizing festivals...) and because I felt like he was keeping me on the side, as an option.

I still feel way to miserable, just one date what an impact.... because of the genuine connection in the beginning I believe.
 

diamanda

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So sorry to hear that dancingfox. When there's too much "genuine" connection straight away and too soon, it's a huge red flag and not genuine at all. It's a technique called love-bombing, look it up. Most stories we read about here on Clarity too have this common element, a "deep" connection felt straight away. We need time to get to know someone before we connect deeply.
 

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