What is X lesson for his betrayal?

[wisdom]

Hello everyone!

I am new in the I-Ching quest. I personally find it fascinating how your quest for guidance and understanding is answered by I-Ching. It is very helpful indeed.
I asked about the lesson and consequences for my long distance ex-boyfriend's betrayal. There were two other women involved in this mess. There is no communication between us. I ended it by exposing his lies. I met X twenty years ago. In our past, I hurt him once by giving him a chance and telling him later that It wouldn't work. We reconnected 2 1/2 years and half ago hoping to have a chance.
Unfortunately he lied to me until the end. I discovered that he was living with the mother of his two kids and has a lover (23 years younger than him, a pole dancer). Very shocking from a high profile banker, maybe not.
I received 47.4.5.6 to 4. Please allow me to have your insight on this. Thank you!

 

[moss elk]

Hello,

Did you mean the lessons and consequences for him?

Or for you?

 

[mirian]

Hi wisdom,

If your question is about the consequences for him then sorry but I don't see the point of asking that. Why should you use your reading, your time, your question to the Yi with a person who has done an awful lot of damage to yourself.

My personal view is that the Yi is actually talking to you. Hex 47 is all about oppression, about feeling bad as a result of what other people do to you, is about being undermined by people who don't care about you, it is also about feeling overwhelmed about circumstances when you really shouldn't.

And all the lines in your reading are showing that this oppression (and the oppressor himself) has its days numbered. All of that is becoming past and you will be surprised how easy it is to move on when you take the step and decide to do so.

So, what are you waiting for? Your reading is already saying, set yourself free, put all of that behind and you will have no regrets.:bows:

 

[wisdom]

Hi wisdom,

If your question is about the consequences for him then sorry but I don't see the point of asking that. Why should you use your reading, your time, your question to the Yi with a person who has done an awful lot of damage to yourself.

My personal view is that the Yi is actually talking to you. Hex 47 is all about oppression, about feeling bad as a result of what other people do to you, is about being undermined by people who don't care about you, it is also about feeling overwhelmed about circumstances when you really shouldn't.

And all the lines in your reading are showing that this oppression (and the oppressor himself) has its days numbered. All of that is becoming past and you will be surprised how easy it is to move on when you take the step and decide to do so.

So, what are you waiting for? Your reading is already saying, set yourself free, put all of that behind and you will have no regrets.:bows:

Mirian,
Thank you for interpretation. I was asking about his consequences, because I exposed his lies to someone I thought was only the mother of his kids. I cared about him and it was shocking to me to discover how deceitful he really was. Thank you, you are absolutely right, I already made a decision.
Take care!

 

[wisdom]

Hello,

Did you mean the lessons and consequences for him?

Or for you?

Hello,
For him. I asked the Ching, Is there any punishment for being so deceitful and unnecessarily causing so much pain? When I asked him if he was single, he always answered: "Yes, I am alone". It is a shocking and painful situation that I am trying to overcome. Thank you for responding.

 

[blue_angel]

What I got is 47 line 4, someone wanting to assist but being out of place to do so. Being straitened out and having small regrets, but it all works out in the end.

47 line 5, someone is straightened by someone high ranking. Maybe the wife. (Someone with authority.) Wounded by all. Suffering but through sacrifice, comes joy. There's a need for balance, inner composure, and sincerity.

47 line 6, repenting for errors in a sincere way brings good fortune and the freedom to move on.

Its hard to say who and when the Yi is talking about you, him, or the wife. Does seem to describe a story. Seems like line 4 could be you bringing this all to the light and feeling some small regrets over it. Perhaps it wasn't your place to do so in the manner that you did. But you did, and they will work it out however is best for them and you must do the same. Line 5, his wife straightens him and this situation out. He's wounded, she's wounded, but through a sacrifice and after some suffering it works out for the best for all involved. Line 6, I think is you. Sincerely move on, repenting for your part in the suffering of others. Him, her, their family, and even yourself. And then you are free to move on.


I suppose it could also be saying, through sacrificing his affairs or relationship with you, and being sincere with his wife, they will work it all out. Or it could be saying, through you sacrificing your want of him to be punished, and your part in any further relationship to him or them, you will find good fortune.


However, the important part is that you do sincerely move on. And for the most part I agree with Mirian. Its difficult in piecing together who the Yi is really speaking about when asking about another. More often than not the Yi will tell you what you need to hear about you, advising you and your direction, regardless of the question. Hexagram 4 through innocent ignorance comes 47 oppression.

 

[wisdom]

Blue Angel,
Thank you, it is an amazing narrative !
I told her that I was writing to her because he told me that he was alone, I told her that he needed her help. He told me once that he was an emotional wreck, I asked why, and he blamed some legal issues he was having at work. Now I realized that he indeed is having a hard time emotionally.

I don't have any regrets, I did it because I wanted to end it after finding the truth about his younger lover. I felt that by exposing him,I was burning any bridge between us, did not give him a chance to explain or lie to me any further.
Why it was not my place to expose him? it was not right to do it? I hope that he can reconcile with her and change his life for good. I cared about him and it hurts me to see him like this. The truth is the light that I hope can force him to see himself and acknowledge his wrongdoings. I cannot help him.
Thank you!

What I got is 47 line 4, someone wanting to assist but being out of place to do so. Being straitened out and having small regrets, but it all works out in the end.

47 line 5, someone is straightened by someone high ranking. Maybe the wife. (Someone with authority.) Wounded by all. Suffering but through sacrifice, comes joy. There's a need for balance, inner composure, and sincerity.

47 line 6, repenting for errors in a sincere way brings good fortune and the freedom to move on.

Its hard to say who and when the Yi is talking about you or him. Does seem to describe a story. Seems like line 4 could be you bringing this all to the light and feeling some small regrets over it. Perhaps it wasn't your place to do so in the manner you did. Line 5 his wife straightens him
and this situation out. He's wounded or she's wounded but through a
sacrifice and after some suffering it works out for the best. Line 6 I think
is you. Sincerely move on, repenting for your part in the suffering of others. Him, her, their family. And then you are free to move on. I suppose it could also say through sacrificing his affairs or relationship with you, and being sincere with his wife, they will work it all out.

However, the important part is that you do move on. And for the most
part I agree with Mirian. Its difficult in piecing together who the Yi is really speaking about when asking about another. More often than not the Yi will tell you what you need to hear about you, advising you and your direction.

 

[blue_angel]

Why wasn't it your place to expose him? Well maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. What I do feel is, more often than not we trample all over others paths for our own selfish reasons without taking into consideration the other, or others involved. You could have just as easily cut off all contact with him and walked away, and anything that was meant to come to the light would have naturally and in its own time, without your forcing it or having a hand in it. But who knows maybe you were meant to play that part.

Majority of the time I will say the wife knows without being told so. There comes an intuition, a some what gut feeling. If there were you and also a pole dancer, chances are high she knew. And for whatever her or their reasons are, she chose to stay. Perhaps to keep the family together, perhaps for their children. Who knows the reasons, the how's or the whys and what gives the right for anyone else to say someone else is wrong in the path they choose or why. But now you have added a damper to their issues, they most likely already knew they had. Maybe they were ready to face the issues, maybe they weren't. One must stop and think of the suffering of the children, the wife, the husband, and the self. The children most of all.

My ex husbands mistress was so hell bent on causing suffering to me and my children and making sure our marriage broke. Mostly I believe for her own selfish reasons, she couldn't have him, and she wanted him to suffer. Do you know... my adult daughter still suffers over this. Her relationship with her father is a void. There is nothing he can do to mend it. He has tried. And although we are divorced and have been over over 6 years, I have completely forgiven him, actually I forgave him before we split. He is a good father. A good man, and has happily remarried. He made and makes mistakes like the next person. (Don't we all, as we all grow and experience.) But I can not offer my children the wisest of advice to help them heal. Hopefully they will heal in their own time, in their own way, I pray and I wish. But yes, I even forgive the ignorant and innocent mistress. As I now know what it is to experience the other side of the coin.

Still through it all, I do believe what's meant to come to the light, does so naturally, without our having a hand in it, and in its own right time. I believe the way to healing is to forgive and let go, both those who have hurt us, as well as ourselves. And I believe we must be very careful how much we walk on another's path and influence them. But hey, that's me and my truth. Yours may be completely different, so you must do what is true for you. Perhaps you did exactly the right thing, especially if you believe it to be true, and perhaps the difference is what creates the balance in this world. hmmm

You are right, you can not help him, or them. The most you can do is wish them the best, and sincerely walk away. "Whatever you believe to be true, it must be so"... Take care on your journey.

 

[wisdom]

Blue Angel,

I am sorry this reminded you of your own story. Thank you for sharing.
I was married and now divorced. This guy knew that I am not the kind of having affairs with married man. After divorcing my ex-husband, I concentrated my energy into raising my son. I didn't have any relationship with anyone for 5 years until I agreed to see him.

He lied to me. For 3 years I refused to see him out of respect for his family and myself, I accepted when he told me he was single again. I tried to convince him that our relationship was not possible because of the distance, responsibilities, etc., He insisted that he loved me that we should give ourselves a second chance. This was all unnecessary, I was in peace with myself. He wasn't.

In conclusion, the most profound lesson for me is that I did not listen to my inner voice and signs that were given to me as warnings. Twenty years ago I rejected him, we could had gotten married. I am now so glad we didn't. You are right I could have just walked away but I couldn't, it was the only way to ended it for good. I don't know maybe he was not with his ex, she never replied.

Thank you for sharing. Take care.

 

[blue_angel]

You do not need to be sorry for me. My life is amazing, and has consistently progressed. If you want to be sorry, be sorry for the innocent lives that were affected. The children. The innocent lives that may be affected now in your own situation. That was my point, which you completely managed to miss. Besides that, it all came back to the mistress 3 fold and she is still suffering to the extreme, 10 years later. Its sad really, I have at times said small healing prayers for her own children.

I have been in your shoes, I have lived the other side of the coin. When I walked away, I made sure I did not affect the wife and the children, as their lives were, are innocent. They have nothing to do with the situation him and I were experiencing. You did not pay attention to the other lives you affected. That is what I see the reading saying. "Feel regret, for all of the pain and suffering around you, and your part in it. Sacrifice him, all of the suffering, sincerely, and then you will be able to move forward, and experience your own good fortune." But as I said, if what you did was right to you, then it is right. If that was "the only way", then it was the only way.

I actually have to wonder if my life turned out with abundance and so well because I sent out love and forgiveness, and tried sincerely to give love and healing. It indeed seems it returns, 3 fold. Not always through the same people you give to, but it does return. And yet her life turned out so very painful, and it is a continuous, sad pain, the child they had during our marriage has a terminal illness, and no father. (3 fold), sincerely send out good, no matter your suffering, and it returns 3 fold. Send out bad and it returns, and boy does it ever, 3 fold. And you have to feel some compassion especially for the children. But I guess not all people will, there has to be yin & yang, dark & light for balance on this earth right. So I do realize there will be some that will not think outside of the box, and will not try to be more understanding not just of their own life but ALL of the lives affected. You really feel it was up to you to punish him, to make sure he was exposed, do you? So be it, it is done.

Good you recognize the need to listen to your inner voice, intuition, and pay attention to the signs as you go forward.

None of it is about me. It is not about my history, or you reminding me of anything. I used my story as an example to show how innocent lives can and will be affected. What are the points? Send out love and healing to ALL affected. Send out forgiveness. And move on.

 

[anemos]

I asked the Ching, Is there any punishment for being so deceitful and unnecessarily causing so much pain? When I asked him if he was single, he always answered: "Yes, I am alone". It is a shocking and painful situation that I am trying to overcome. Thank you for responding.

Sometimes , especially when an question involves other persons too and the dynamic at play, I have found that Yi neither talks directly about me or the other party but shows an image of the situation - this is how seems your reading , in my eyes.

Maybe that "yes, i'm alone" and having relationships with 3 women is not 100% a lie.

its my impression, that the quoted words of you , show an understanding about what your reading tells you. His loneliness, his dishonesty, your effort to help him, your pain caused by his behavior or your choices and the creeping vines (the culprit)

its quite interesting that you asked about a lesson and got hex 4 . It seems there is a lesson there available for those are willing to learn. Something comes out in the open.

I love the creeping vines line- so hopeful, helpful; its very powerful and strengthens the effort to free ourselves from the vines.