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sliponshoe

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love. hence my question is love-related. i'm still getting the hang of this and hence i'm still not that good at reading the i ching. your help would be much appreciated.
i met this girl a while ago and i've been wondering where our friendship is heading and i consulted the i ching asking it what her feelings for me are. i got:

14.1.3.4 changing to 40.
the intermediate hexagrams between 14 and 40 are:
50. and 39.

does 14 mean I am the "possession" she wants to have? does 40 mean she wants to conquer my heart to feel liberated (from the wish to be with me) at last? i asked the same question worded differently and got just the 40. so does this affirm her need to move closer to me to be liberated?

then i asked the i ching what the outcome would be if i persevered and showed more patience until something between us develops. and i got:
8.3 changing to 39.

is 39 indicative of difficulties i've been encountering with her as i can't make her exact feelings out yet. and generally speaking: can the second hexagram relate to both the present and future outcome?
thanks a lot!
 

sliponshoe

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sorry! a small typo! the intermediate hexagram is 29(water) and NOT 39.
 

frank

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Hi Sliponshoe,

You received hexagram 14 towards 40 as an answer? Then, acording to the "Steps of Change" method you have 50 (changing line 1), 38 (Line 3) and 25 as intermidiate hexagrams... In the "Line by Line" method, named "The Continued hexagrams" here in the Netherlands (wauw, that's confucing...), you received again 50 (changing line 1 of 14...), 64 (changing line 3 of 50) and 4 (changing line 4 of 64...). So where do you get the 29 or either the 39 from???

BY CHANGING LINES 1,3,4 FROM 14 YOU GET HEXAGRAM 4, AND NOT 40!!!

If you change towards 40, with changinglines 1,3,4 then the first hexagram must be 11!!!

So... what is it???

Huggie,
Frank
 

frank

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Ok then...

By receiving 14 as an answer the Yi could first comphort you in letting you know that you are great on your own already and that the world is here to watch the stuff you posses insite. But as you asked about ?that girl?, it?s possible that she sees that in you as well Then she thinks that you have great potential, but it has not come out yet. In my almost 14 years of experience with the Yi though I think the oracle is talking to you, and not the girl...

By changing line 1 first you go from 14 to 50, The Ritual Caldron. See your inner self as a caldron, a vessel which need nutrision. Reading line 1 of 50 there has to be some cleaning to do first, perhaps a new believe in yourself first, before believing in someone else... My father used to say: ?how the hell can you tickle someone somewhere, when you do not know where your own ?tickle spot? is so that you can explain it to someone else...??... Makes sense to me...

By cleaning the insite, and get rit of old stuff, perhaps even some old issues between the girl and you (!), line 3 is changing and by looking at 50, as we follow the ?continuation? of hexagrams, you receive hexagram 64... Like the little fox it?s time for a new jump... but do not be hasty!

By taking small steps, one at the time, you change line 4, and 64 into 4... You probably have asked this question earlier, and the Yi already told you what to do, didn?t it? By getting hexagram 4 the Yi is telling you to just take the earlier answer more seriously before doing something else. In other words... ONES ASKED IS OK, TWO, THREE TIMES ASKING IS AN INSULT...

Clean insite, old stuff and do not haste... that?s what the Yi is telling you, and perhaps the girl wants you to do first, before even thinking about the things you dream of :-D...

Hang in there,

Hug,
Frank
 

sliponshoe

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frank, your interpretation is spot-on!thanks! you see right through me, mate! ;o) or maybe it was just the oracle. yeah, i did ask about the girl before but being a novice i felt like i hadn't been focussing enough whilst throwing the coins. i was wrong, i guess.
anyway, being a melancholy type of guy i asked the yi how things are gonna shape up this weekend happiness-wise and i got:

46.1 moving to 11.!

a little effort and self-confidence and peace-of-mind is awaiting me.
i can't think of a better omen...i hope it's gonna be true.
 

sliponshoe

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frank (and everybody else),

i asked follow-up questions on my issue with the girl.
i asked:can you give me any further info on her feelings for me and i got:

31.2----->28.

and i asked a similar question again: what was she trying to tell me that day?

31.2.3.---->28.3.---->47.

seems quite positive. i find the coincidence of 31.2. pretty amazing. on the second question i got an additional 47. what could this imply?
any thoughts would be much appreciated.
 

frank

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Hi Sliponshoe,

Hexagram 31 is certainly about influence and love, but on a subtle level, not to be seen in the open. There is a way of reading the changing lines (a western way of dealing with the Yi) that tells that you should change all changing lines in a yang line (as for action, a changing line changes, therefor it?s action...), and all no-changing lines stay yin... so by looking at hexagram 31, line 2, only this line is changing. By taking only line 2 as a yang line (changing = action), you get hexagram 7, the hexagram about tactics... In that manner you can say that line 2 of 31 is the line of tactics, as in EVERY hexagram, with 1 changing line on this position. Influence, subtle love and tactics, leading towards hexagram 28, the hexagram with the roofbeam almost collapsing... Perhaps the Yi is telling you here to back off a little, not to be that clear busy with the ?hunt? :-D, and use tactics (or she could be busy with that..., as the question was about what ?she feels?...)

Nice detail by the way is that the hexagram about tactics, hexagram 7, which you create, again, by taking the changing line as yang here, which is line 2 only... is called ?The Hunt? by Greg Whincup, an canadian I Ching scolar in his book.

What she was trying to tell you the other day should already be known to you as you have listend or not :-D... Hexagram 31 again talks about subtle influence and again in the form of line 2 the tactics... By getting also line 3, you get yang lines on positions 2 & 3, which makes hexagram 46... She is posibly trying to get closer on a subtle level... She could be afraid of rejection, I guess... You just don?t kill a chicken with a bazooka, but with a knife, I supose :-D. Take step by step...

Hexagram 47 is about worying to much... I would not be that concenred if I where you, but these things always need a kind of game... Has she told you already that she liked you?

Another question you could ask to the Yi is about ?what should I know about this bond so that we both know how to let the other one know how we feel about each other?...

Hang in there.

Hug
Frank
 

sliponshoe

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thanks, frank. your analysis is quite astute!
we both haven't told each other anything yet. we're on an early stage, you know. i guess love is a very complicated, precious and delicate thing.
i also got 44 a few times on different questions concerning her. does this mean that i should not be worrying too much? that she's been occupying my mind too much? does 44 have both its positive and negative meanings?

thank you!
 

frank

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Hi Sliponshoe,

Hexagram 44 is about your desires, mostly sexual, aggresive sometimes. Don?t worry, every man in love has responded to nature that way :-D...
It?s also a hint from the Yi that she is probably a bit to much insite your head (woman is strong), and as I also in a psycological manner can see woman as ?feeling?/ emotion? and man as ?rationality?, you can also say that the emotions are a bit strong, which is not that stupid when you are in love. Be nice to yourself, take some breaths, have some patience and do not worry to much, enjoy the feeling and feel free to form the bond between you two as you like, as long as you do not harm anyone, and that includes you too :-D!

Hang in there.

Hug,
Frank
 

sliponshoe

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thanks so much, frank!
i asked the yi the question you told me to ask:
"what should I know about this bond so that we both know how to let the other one know how we feel about each other?"

and i got: 41.2 moving to 27.

are they about working on one's own character? thanks!
 

sliponshoe

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oh and i also asked the yi:

what would happen if i told her about my feelings? and i got:

11.3.6 moving to 19.6 moving to 41.
 

frank

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Hi Sliponshoe,

To get back to your question about what you should know about the bond, and receiving hexagram 41, line 2, towards hexagram 27 I can tell you that again there is a line 2, so tacticts are again needed... This time it is about letting go things you do not longer need and focus on things that do matter. The name of the hexagram is Increase, but it does not immidiatly means that things have to be slown down first, but more to search for a balance between emotions, rationality, dreams and real life. Changing to hexagram 27 the Yi is telling you by getting in balance to go for insight into the matter what atracts you to her, or what should atract her towards you... what do you both have to to offer to each other, and in what way are you nurturing each other? Hexagram 27 is about the right nourishment. Become aware about what kind of, mostly, mental foods you take, she takes and you mutualy share so that you could learn from each other and grow further in a bond, rather then you would on your own... So the question about what?s here to learn BEFORE we let each other known how we feel about each other, is about nourishment.

And the answer about ?what would happen if you told her about your feelings?, the Yi is telling you to find balance first (as in the first answer). It?s not for nothing that 41 apears again...
Hexagram 11 is about a state of flow you could be in right now, which feels to you as a peacefull time between you two.... By looking at line 3 first, which I call the line of modesty, as by only changing this line and making it yang you get hexagram 15, modesty..., from a peacefull time you should aproach her in a modest way (11, line 3 changing makes 19, aproach...). By looking at both changing lines (3 & 6) you get hexagram 52, if you make these yang... so there is a request from the Yi, that, besides modesty, you should stand still! Standstill in no way means that you should do nothing, it only says to stand still and look back to what you have done sofar. The ethymological meaning of the Chinese character of Gen, or Mountain / Standstill, as hexagram 52 is called, is about a man that walks a path on a mountain. See this journey as a walk on a mountain... Then the man looks back to the path he already walked up (to find out how to walk the rest of it...), and so should you walk... Look back to what you on signals have received from her and what kind of behaviour you made sofar towards her, to look to responses and the way she responded, to know how things would turn up in the future... It?s time to look back first, before a next step forward...

Summary:
1. Try to get in balance between your emotions, rationality, dreams and reality
2. Look back to earlier responses from her site

The answer 11, line 3 & 6 towards 41 could also mean that the outcome could make you realise that your expactations are to high... So be in balance first, remember things and then ask a next question...

Hang in there.

Hug,
Frank
 
P

peace

Guest
You might want to get Carol Anthony's I Ching.
To me, she has the best commentaries that deal with psychological/relationship issues and helps you look at your own intentions/motives too.
 

sliponshoe

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thank you so much for your help, frank! it sounds very reasonable.
and thanks for the info, peace!
 

sliponshoe

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so to update you. we ran into each other last night but i don't know what to make of her behavior. she seemed so taciturn. often whenever we meet she seems so shy. i don't know if she's reluctant to speak with me or if she's just nervous. it's driving me nuts! i asked the yi about its take on last night and it answered:

35.4.5.6.---->26.5.6---->20.6---->5

then i asked it specifically why she was so taciturn and it answered:

29.

and finally i asked about how she felt about me last night:

26.3----->41.
i still find it difficult to understand the 29. what is it all about?
 

frank

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Hi Sliponshoe,

OK, great, you two met... Now let me know what answer you actually REALY have received from the Yi, as 35 DOES NOT CHANGE INTO 26, AFTER CHANGING LINE 4... and tbat can give you a total other answer :-D...

Hang in there!

Hug,
Frank
 

frank

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And you realy have not your head with it, have you :-D... In no way 35 can change into 26 when changing line 4, but also 26 can NEVER change into 20 by changing line 5, and 20 into 5, when changing line 6... boy o boy... :-D...

Hexagram 29 is probably a warning of the Yi telling you to go trough 'unpredictable' times (as it feels for you...), and try to keep the head dry... Don't go to fast with this... I recognise this very well, tough..... And from my own experience I can only tell you that is dose not do much good if your head is full iof things you will not see, because the clouds are to pink :-D... (And I will so totaly forget this when I'm in a same situation again :-D)... It's a chemical thing, and 29 is a warning of not letting yourself go to much... Keep the head straight, don't worry that much... and give me the right answers, so I can help you :-D...

26.3 > 41 is again about BALANCE :-D...!

HANG IN THERE!

HUG,
Frank
 

sliponshoe

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thanks, i noticed the mistake next day but forgot to tell you:
it's
35.4.6----->23.5.6------>20.6------->8.

is 29 also: "silent waters are deep?"

and today i asked the yi what to do in this situation: should i perserve? what are my odds of this wish coming true? and it answered:

5.1.4.6.----->48.4.6.----->28.6.------>44.

and then i asked the yi what she thinks that i think about her because it could be that she has yet to realise i like her and maybe that makes her so shy and nervous. and i got:

23.

so could it be she hasn't caught on yet?! oh nooo!
thank you so much for your input, fellas!
 

void

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I don't get what your're doing ? 35, 4, 5 and 6 change to hexagram 8. Why do you have these sequences with arrows etc it all seems very complicated ?? 3 sets of hexagrams ??

Though if I were you I'd put the Yi away and talk to her, it would be much easier. Your questions are getting way too convoluted ie " what she thinks I think about her.." I mean its got to be easier to talk to her hasn't it ? Any hexagram you throw for that question is not going to make much sense i think.
 

frank

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Hi Sliponshoe,

I know exactly, and realy, I DO, what you are going to trough, and I?m doing the same things with my self, my thoughts, etc, when I?m in a situation as you are now, and therefore I probably am not the one to say here that you should be nice to yourself, and the rest you have to take from time to time... It?s OK to ask the I Ching anything you want, but it is also of some importance that you actualy READ what the I Ching is telling you. That the I Ching can give you straight answers or very complicated ones is something you discover right now, but the answers realy sometimes depending also on the question you ask... As long as you make them complicated... `and then i asked the yi what she thinks that i think about her...? (what :-D?) you will get complicated answers :-D... Please alow yourself to breath from time to time and think trough what you actually want to know from the Yi... I totaly understand that it is a step that is to large for you right now to ask her about her feelings, because you do not want to spoil the dream, as you do not know if it is..., and you very well are aware that you do not want to hurt yourself with an answer that you are not waiting for... So, you can still ask the Yi about things, and ofcourse Void has a good point in asking her, but then again, feel free to go into the feelings and thoughts, anxieties, etc, that you are feeling right now, and do not hastitate TO ASK THE YI, BUT ALSO LET THE ANSWERS COME IN TO YOU...

Hexagram 29 is about your anxiety and the ?unpredictable? times as I already told you :-D...
It could be about those deep waters, sure, but NOT NOW :-D...

Hexagram 35 is about getting things clear, like spotlights lightning the stage you are walking on... Where you dancing on a dancefloor by any chance :-D? It?s the sun above the earth, spotting on everything there is to see. Positive things, but also less positive things...

Changing line 4 first it changes into hexagram 23... and 23 is about letting things go... I think that the Yi is actually not talking about letting go of her or the contact, but more of the anxiety that?s blocking you to see this all much clearer, so you do not have to ask the Yi all the time and handle things yourself, as you can then SEE what you are doing... :-D. Line 4 is the line of ?enthousiasm?, as I like to call it, because there is also a western way of reading Yi answers by taking ONLY a changing line and make it a yang line... Yang stands for action, it?s a ?changing? line... so it moves... therefor YANG... By taking line 4 ONLY as a YANG line, you get hexagram 16, enthousiasm... And because 35, line 4 is going from Yang to Yin, I would say to let go of the enthousiasm, as it blocks your view... Maybe she is not shy, but overwhelmed :-D...

Changing line 5 from 23, as you are using the method of ?continuation? here, the Yi could give the advice from letting go the anxiety, you are able to overlook the situation as it is (20). By getting more sense of ?realism? as that is something hexagram 20 is telling us, you could see things more clearly. It by no means says?get real?... that?s something else... :-D. It is just telling you not to dream that much, as I use to say: ?To make dreams reality you at least have to wake up?... Handle from what is, AND NOT FROM WHAT YOU WANT... Things getting done is better to undertake out of acceptance of a situation as the situation actually is... Realy LOOK to this. Be fully awake, otherwise you miss opportunities, because you sleep, and dream all the time :-D.

By changing line 6 from 20.... you get 8, and 8 CAN mean a union with someone, but in my experience the Yi on a subtle level talks also about unification with yourself. How can you tickle someone, before you know your own tickle-spot... :-D?

And what would you do now in this situation? The Yi gace you hexagram 5 as a very straight answer: WAIT!

By NO means does hexagram 5 mean that you should do nothing, noooooo, it?s about getting yourself a bit down earth again and doing other stuff, hanging out with friends, etc, in the trust that stuff connected to her will be just going fine! Have the nerve to let faith takes it course, get the job you want, put energy in yourself, get a sport, anything that can also give you distraction from getting to much obsessed. That DOES REALY NOT mean that you should forget about her... NO WAY... But you are just trying TO HARD, my man! Get a rest, do something else instead, and LOOK to what actually is happening in front of you :-D...

By changing line 1 hexaggram 5 is changing into 48... The Well... Get to yourself first... your own source... And be aware that in old chinese villages people gathered around the well, to talk and get the water, and moved on, to meet the next day... It?s about getting the trust actually that you should have from out of yourself that you actually can live WITHOUT her... Not that you shoud! But it?s the trust that you could.... THEN you will have an image to others (HER!) that you are very cabable (wow, is this english?) of dealing on your own, as people realy do not feel comphortable to be your savior and that you, not even for a minute, could live without that particular person.... It?s an atitute that works like a magnate :-D... When you are in desperate need, they do not come, and when you have an attitude like... i do not need you, they actually are comming... I can?t say in all honesty if that really works, but I can tell from my own experience that I?m also one of the human species who does not have that attitude... But I?m learning, so I can tell you it?s worth to try :-D!

By changing line 4 from 48... you get 28... Man, you are going to a breaktrough here... The roofbeam boughs... It does not break, it boughs! Because you have certain ways of moving as learned in school, from friends, from mom and dad, etc here is a change to get a bit more flexibel... It?s also the tension of staying who YOU are, and not bend to much to what others want from you... Don?t we all want to be that particular person your dreamlady is looking for (or dreamguy!) :-D? Now here the Yi is actually telling you to learn how to bough for news ways of handling things together with staying to the person that you are...

By then changing line 5 of 28... you get 44... and man, there are those strong feelings again, but perhaps YOU are the strong one now... :-D.
44 usualy means that feelings or thoughts are to strong. So, by staying who you are you still have to learn how to deal with the feelings and thoughts... I think that the Yi is actually giving this challenge back at you in the way that it says that the actual situation tells you what to do, and not the Yi...

And then that question where I still have to figure out what you actually asked :-D... Hexagram 23 at least means to let go... And I think it is about those tensions...

Well, I?ve done my best, now do yours :-D!!!

Hang in there.

HUG,
Frank
 

sliponshoe

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frank, thanks so much for your time! i really appreciate it!
some stuff you said i already kind of read from the answers already, like losening up, working on myself. but you still gave me a lot more insight! well, since last week i've been working as a full time intern for almost no pay to nourish my personality (see 48) amd work on my future career. and i know i must dream less. but i've always been a dreamer in all sorts of things. and i got 44 lots of times and i know it tells me to not allow this dream overwhelm everythings else. and i also got 56 several times on this issue. what is that all about? the wanderer? looking for a place to belong?
by the question i asked that yielded 23 i wanted to know what she assumes that i think of her. does she think i like her? or that i'm not interested? maybe i myself have been giving her mixed signals. that's what i wanted to know. and the 23 i got hints at me that she believes that i'm not interested in her.

anyway, thank you, frank! your input is aswesome!
 

frank

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Hi Sliponshoe,

Thank you for the compliment, and it?s interesting to receive the same hexagrams a couple of times in a row, as that is certainly a hint from the Yi which will be trown upon your lap untill you ?get it? :-D. 44 is about that tensions alright and not being to much obsessed with things. In my own experience I can realy tell you it does not realy help to get closer to her when you do not also some other stuff as well. Get a life on your own, even without her. Find a great hobby, and yes a great job where you can put new energy in, and LOOK to what is happening between you two at the time she is around or there is contact in any way, like mail or something... A peace of realism is a nice thing to have. The traveller in 56 is about looking for borders and rules where you have to deal with. Are you someone who have difficulties in accepting certain borders and have a blind spot in getting over them, so things turn the other way as you had planned? (I so recognise that in my own experiences..., so as someone who realy is experienced in this I say, give time more trust, and let things work for you, as working and controlling by yourself, and yourself only, is NOT going to work for the better, please believe that... :-D!) The Yi is here to Help, NOT to led you down... Let it happen as it happens... and enjoy the moments... That is also what 23 is telling you... Let go of the control and let it happen...

Hang in there!

Hug,
Frank
 

sliponshoe

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i understand what you're saying about 56. i guess you're right. i do try to get a life of my own. but it'S hard work since there are very few jobs to apply for. but that internship does help me make new contacts. even if it meand working 12 hours a day for almost no money.
thank you so much frank! like the yi said: 5.6 .....wait! something's gonna happen out of the blue......
 

frank

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Hi Sliponshoe,

I thought you received 56 sometimes more in connection with questions about the lady, and NOT for the JOB, as 56 is just you looking for one... Acording to the lady there is a chance that you go over borders... I told you earlier, in earlier posts there was a hexagram about old issues and I asked...'between you and the girl???'... Remember??? THAT's what I ment... NOT the job...

I just say in AVERAGE it's a good thing to have ALSO other stuff on your mind, so things can make there own plans... I will not give you false hope too :-D... BUT... YOU did not receive hexagram 5 for nothing... WAIT AND DO SOMETHING ELSE FOR A WHILE AND LET IT HAPPEN... (Sigh :-D)...

Realy, BIG TIME HUGGIE -D!!! Now go...

Frank
 

sliponshoe

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thanks, frank. i really do other stuff. always have been.
i can't think of any issue between me and her. god knows what issue she may have with me.... :eek:(
i'm letting it happen! can't you see? :eek:P

thank you, frank
 

frank

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Good for you, and I hope you will get answers. In the meanwhile... well, you know :-D
 

sliponshoe

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cheers. i thought about what issue there could be and i think it's both of us being insecure and being afraid of being too much in-your-face, i.e. we may feel that we don't want to get on each other's nerves. but we must find a way to settle this. all in due time. patience. patience.
 

sliponshoe

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well, haven't consulted the yi for over a week since i've been busy at work. now i asked some folow-up questions because the yi tells me to find peace-of-mind in this situation. and i asked it what to do and it replied:

9.1 changing to 57.

i think i know what it's telling me but i'd be curious to hear your opinion first.

and i asked what our problem with each other is and it replied:

52.

quite straightforward, i'd say. thanks for your help.
 

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