What next? 38.1.4>4

[goddessliss]

Today I got a new piano (well new to me) and it felt weird because I haven't settled anywhere for any length of time since 2011 nor been in a relationship or anything settled and long term so I'm guessing I'm not going anywhere for a while.....so onto my next wonderings?

What is the potential I will unite in true love with someone this year (2016)

Hex 38.1.4>4

Hex 4 - my wondering about the unknown

Oh dear ok well I did fancy someone in recent times but I felt there were too many opposing differences so didn't follow things up with him - well actually he turned a small thing into a drama and left and I haven't bothered to try and sort it out with him cause I think chucking a tantrum is stupid. Mostly when people chuck tantrums I tell them to be quiet. uch:

Line 1 - speaks of letting someone go and letting them sort it out....or not, perhaps this is the scenario I've just described

Line 4 - well we did have a lot in common so it could be him coming back or someone else either way it sounds like I may well meet a new love this year....bleedin' heck about time!!

2nd Question - I don't want to move from where I live and have now settled (clearly) but there's no work so I could travel away to work for 3-6 months and keep my home here as my base

What is the potential I will travel away to work short term this year (2016)

35.2.6>40

I guess in some ways there has been progress and then line 1 apprehension because there's been a few job offers but nothing I felt that comfortable with because the location was so remote.

Line 6 - Looks like it's not good for me to apply for jobs I know I'm really not that keen on or feel they're not the right people to work for...that's the frustrating bit!! The works there but it's just not right and could end very badly

 

[loverofknowledge]

Hi goddessliss,
Hex 4: being innocent, open to love, youthful
Hex 38.1.4
Line 1: Rest assured that you do not have to search for love, because love will find you if you keep an open heart (innocence, like 4). Whatever belongs to you finds its way back to you. You've loved once (at least), deeply and well, -- then love will return (since that love belongs to you by your very nature). The horse represents strength, will, and confidence. By the same token, separate yourself from inferior people, no time to play around with people who are not worthy of your love.
Line 4: Some of the lines in 38 concern estrangement, to appearances, - or illusions -- while there's a more trustworthy connection underneath. So here.
Maybe (thinking about your former boyfriend) underneath the dramatic estrangement (his temper tantrum, etc), there's a more trustworthy connection, which you can find again with him.
Or maybe you will meet somebody else and the Yi is warning you that, even when appearances are strange (or you feel estranged), it's worth the effort to find what's common between the two of you, and trustworthy, so that you can build a relationship, in which there is both difference (individuality) and connection.
PS -- how about having a piano party and inviting all the eligible singles in the vicinity?

 

[loverofknowledge]

Question about job:

Hex 40 - don't move forward unless you have reason to, but if you do have reason to move forward, do so promptly
That's very practical advice, in your case. If the job is worth it, move forward, and consider leaving your house for a few months. It could be a worthwhile and fun adventure, so that
regrets vanish (35.2).
If you are ambivalent,and wavering, then any such move may not work out (35.6).
I understand this as: if you find a job that is a good opportunity, don't let ambivalence hold you back. Go for it and do it promptly (so that you don't lose the opportunity).
If you are lukewarm or there are only mediocre opportunities, then stay where you are, and have no regrets.

 

[goddessliss]

Thankyou loverofknowledge - that would be so cool to meet someone from a true place of love. Could be Mr. Tantrum Chucker but he'd have to lose that behaviour to make it work. How can you sort out relations with each other if one of you is chucking a hissy fit ?
But the potential does look promising for someone I can unite with in love.


Potentially the job situation is just that, very potential looking at the hexes in answer. I've a feeling it won't happen until the new year but that's ok too now.

 

[loverofknowledge]

Hmm, could the estrangement have to do with giving Tantrum guy another chance, together with an ultimatum? (no more of that stuff...)
Or otherwise then someone new, a stranger (different meaning of Estranged -- because he's up til now a stranger).

 

[goddessliss]

Well it's hard to know which it will be Tantrum or New guy until it happens at least - I've been thinking lately about whether he and I could resolve our differences but I'm assuming he's still in tantrumville because I haven't heard from him and it's no good me reaching out to him and I'm not even sure if I want to go down that road with anyone.
I spent years sorting my own issues out I really don't want to now be dealing with someone else's to be honest, well not at the level his issues go anyway.

 

[loverofknowledge]

I often get 38 in relation to somebody in my family. We are so different and see things from totally different angles. Yet this difference often makes our relationship trustworthy, because we complement each other. Even so, there's not a natural affinity of the kind I have with people more similar to myself.
I don't know if you tend to be attracted to people who are somewhat different from you? Maybe 38 touches on the quality of that kind of romantic relationship -- trust alongside difference.

 

[goddessliss]

I can see where some of our differences complement each other and I'd be happy for that. The other side of things is he has deep seated mother issues, which are probably not much different to what mine once were, so I can see what's going on for him and why he behaves like he does BUT will he recognise them and will he be willing to change his behaviours to be in a healthy relationship with another. We did touch on one or two things and he said yep I can see that but was never willing to do anything about it. It's a bit like admitting your an alcoholic but not doing anything to change to improve your life.
I never did chuck tantrums but I did run away a lot from my issues and sometimes even severed friendships with others because I just couldn't see how things could be resolved because they never were in my family so I can see why he took off and I haven't heard from him....but that doesn't mean I want to get caught up in his stuff.

 

[loverofknowledge]

I can see where some of our differences complement each other and I'd be happy for that. The other side of things is he has deep seated mother issues, which are probably not much different to what mine once were, so I can see what's going on for him and why he behaves like he does BUT will he recognise them and will he be willing to change his behaviours to be in a healthy relationship with another. We did touch on one or two things and he said yep I can see that but was never willing to do anything about it. It's a bit like admitting your an alcoholic but not doing anything to change to improve your life.
I never did chuck tantrums but I did run away a lot from my issues and sometimes even severed friendships with others because I just couldn't see how things could be resolved because they never were in my family so I can see why he took off and I haven't heard from him....but that doesn't mean I want to get caught up in his stuff.

Yes, important to be with people who have a level of self-awareness, and emotional maturity, that will make for a joyful relationship, even if work is required, sometimes, to get through stuff.
I just thought of your 38 reading, while interacting with a family member, -- our dealings are very 38, --differences that are sometimes complementary but other times cause estrangement.

 

[goddessliss]

Is it different with family I wonder? You know you've all probably been doing the same dance around each other for years. I know I used to until recently with my oldest son, then I just thought na I'm not doing that anymore. Whether he wants to learn a new positive dance with me is up to him...not that I'll estrange myself from him but you know just not trip over his feet anymore.

This background to Tantrum and our 'connection' is totally weird to me. We met online some weeks back now and the first time we chatted I enjoyed it but said I wasn't that keen to chat again cause I wasn't 'feelin' a connection (this happens more often that not and I usually just forget about them as soon as I've disconnected the chat) but the very next day I was upset about something and thought oh maybe I should see if he's online and tell him about it but I didn't bother and dismissed him again from my mind. About a week later I was extremely busy with other things but he kept coming into my mind so I thought what the heck I'll chat to him again and see what this is about. I enjoyed chatting to him again and he asked for my number but I said no I wasn't THAT keen but he persisted so I said yeah what harm can it do he lives quite a distance away and has no idea where I live..... He rang the next day and from that moment on for the next week we were either talking on the phone to each other or texting or thinking of each other.....seriously what is this I kept thinking and the chemistry grew despite never having met each other and man we made each other laugh so much sometimes I couldn't speak I was laughing so much. After a week of this nonsense we decided to meet and the chemistry and the laughter didn't stop until he chucked his tantrum and left. I was considerably upset for nearly a week because personally I'd never connected like this with anyone that I can recall, not even my husband whom I'd loved very deeply.
I'm taking a guess that he ran away from whatever his fears are but I'm not chasing after him.....hence my question really.
When I asked my initial question on this thread I'd got over my emotional turmoil about what went down and thought well maybe that was just for me to work out what I DON'T want and maybe as you said there's someone emotionally mature and self-aware who it will work out with - no friggin' tantrums and dramas.

 

[loverofknowledge]

more on this

Hi thanks for giving the background.
Maybe 4 .in your initial reading, has to do with your friend's immaturity and how to deal with it (you may have suggested that already).
The tantrum makes some sense of 38.4 --estranging situations. Does a trustworthy relationship endure with him?
I've observed, and experienced, that when relationships move fast, with emotional intensity, as yours did for a week or more (as I understand), quite often one person or the other suddenly erupts, with a tantrum or by sudden withdrawal, or a weird coldness -- something sudden and untoward.
It all progresses quickly, so it's natural for one partner or the other to begin feeling (like hexagram 28 or maybe 29)-- "in over my head" .
Still , the fact that he never got back to you, to explain may not bode well.
Up to you and our style. It sounds like you are still curious (since your attraction was strong) though you've mostly decided to let it go.
I tend , personally, to pursue things until I am clear one way or another. Just because I feel, if I'm not certain in my own heart, something is left undone. That's just how I am.

 

[goddessliss]

Thanks loverofknowledge for sharing your thoughts as well and your insight into the lines it's helped me sort through some more of the residual left with this guy.
Well I guess maybe I'm looking at line 1 where it speaks of not trying to create unity by force and to meet this situation halfway and remain correct. A couple of days after he left I sent him a text asking if he was ok and if he wanted to sort out whatever was bothering him I was here to talk with him about it - he sent a text saying ok and that was it. So I believe I'm correct in leaving him and the situation be.
Line 4 says if I trust fate will sort it out then I won't feel so alone and will return to a sense of joy. That's what I'm trying to do - not force anything with anybody and trust the right person will come along - perhaps that's why I received the piano when I did because it helps me to flow with things like a piece of music.
I was hoping I'd travel away to work for a number of reasons least of all to leave this experience behind in a hurry but obviously fate has other ideas - so what can you do? Chuck a tantrum I guess.....haha

 

[oceangirl]

So funny I just asked what do I need to know about my relationship with D and I got the same answer as this 38.4>4
Now this guy didn't actually chuck a tanttun but backed out of our very new connection when it was clear there was strong feelings between us....I just started another thread about having sex with him.
Anyway long story short I'm going away to work indefinitely and asked him to come with me because theres work there for him too if he wants it. He said no why don't you renig on the job and stay here and we'll see what happens between us and I said no to that. So then the issue of whether we should become intimate became a big issue so a few Oppositions here. Line 4 speaks of someone better coming along or it sorting itself out between us. Unknown Hex 4....at this stage I don't care either way as I'm just about to travel and work for the next 5 years...well that's the plan anyway and after all my dramas and all the work I've done to get where I'm heading I'm not giving it up for an unknown relationship. So he's withdrawn from the idea of anything between us I think.