What should be my attitude?

[rosada]

What should be my attitude towards my husband's interest in conspiracy theories?
hexagram 52.3 - hexagram 23.

My dearest darling sweetheart spends lots of time on the computer reading up on conspiracy theories like how 9/11 was an inside job, the awful things that go into our food and water and other stories that confirm our government is lying to us and we're all doomed and going to die. Auuugh.

I'm sure there is much truth to these stories but why does he have to focus on this? Although one might say it's just what he's interested in, a hobby almost, it doesn't cost anything so why not? But I feel it makes a person negative about life in general. Anyway, I asked what my attitude should be and got Keeping Still changing to Splitting Apart. So does that mean say nothing and leave the room? But what about line 3, how keeping still stifles the heart? Is the IChing saying I should stifle myself or warning that I should not?

Any insights most welcome!

 

[moss elk]

You can't bond with him on this:
hence your heart is not happy.

But I feel it makes a person negative about life in general.*

What is inside him already is what attracts him to these conspiracy theories.
The websites just enable it to continue, they act as an enabler for the negativity, a platform for it.

(I am saying this on the assumption that you are able to distinguish between conspiracy sites, and whistleblower sites that talk about industrial pollution and corporate collusion. )

 

[equinox]

I agree with Moss Elk that you can't bond with him on this and maybe that's even good, because one person must stay rational.
I understand well why people tend to believe conspiracy theories nowadays so much. We are lied to for the profit and agendas of others all the time. The trick of the conspiracy theorists is to target on our valid feelings of mistrust and to act in a manner that appears like they have only the best for us in their minds. But of course they have their own agendas as well and sometimes it's helpful to inform ourselves about these mechanisms/their interests and then talk about it to people who are dear to us and were lured in.
Since people who fall for conspiracy theories are naturally critical, there is a big chance that they start to become critical about conspiracy theories and the associated agendas as well.

 

[equinox]

... so I guess I Ching is saying you should NOT keep still about it forcefully (it would smother your heart), but find a reasonable way to reach him. And it may take time ...

 

[radiofreewill]

Making a mountain out of hills leads to stress for the hubby...

...therefore, you should remain calm.

I hope this helps!

 

[oceangirl]

I would be looking to 'why' he has the need to want this information - what's in his heart. Strip that away and you may well find the answer your looking for. Not answering your attitude question though this is my take on the reading.

 

[rosada]

Really helpful insights - thank you all so much!
Moss Elk, spot on! I see the I Ching was saying the problem was that I had this attitude that I somehow ought to sit there and watch along with him. I was 52.3 stifling myself thinking I ought to share his interest. The solution was simple - 23. Strip away, detach and do something else. You were also right to question whether I was making a distinction between conspiracy sites and whistle blower sites. Actually it's whistle blower sites he watches where the facts are real - which is even more scary!!!
Black Milk, Yes, not keep still about it forcefully. I don't see these hexagrams as indicating I should do anything to change him though. He's just interested in what's going on in the world - I'm the one who can't handle it!
Radiofreewill, Yeah, he's always surprised when I start freaking out...gotta remain calm, gotta remain calm..
Oceangirl, Good idea, ask what the appeal is. At the moment I'm cool with the advice to not feel obligated to sit there and read the posts along with him but if I do come to think I need to understand more that would be the place to start.

Update: As so often after consulting the I Ching and getting all your energy or attention to it the situation seems to be morphing on it's own. He's now caught up reading about ideas for purifying water (you wouldn't believe how many horrible things are in our drinking water - scream!!!). Not a problem because I can't even pretend to be interested!

 

[Lilly-La]

Some years back i noted next to 52.3 in my german Yi book: compulsive, stuck, sol. 24.3

Usually actions and impulses come and go and come and go but here the (inner) flow / oscillation is interrupted and repeated. Here something is not acted out. I believe this is a very deep anxiety. The usual physiological response to anxiety is flight or fight - hex52.3 is getting stiff, controlling. It appears to me this is the situation of your husband.

Karlgren saw in the old graph of Mountain a man with a big (staring) eye.

Instead of following the linked Hex 52.3 -> 23 i often look up the reversed Hex which is 51.4 and instead of 23 i look up 24.3. Sometimes this method gives me a better insight.

You might get some inspiration from 24.3 (Return)?
I cite from Minfords book: There is a certain restlessness and anxiety. But caution can enable a return and save the situation. With a firm resolve and with diligence and application the Return can be accomplished. If you change course too often you may loose direction.

People who are into conspiracy theories tend to draw one into a weird world. Return ...

Well, Rosada is Yi experienced enough ...

 

[rosada]

Thank you for these thoughts Lily!
I wish I hadn't used the word "conspiracy" to describe these websites, because that implies the one who reads them is sort of a kook. Unfortunately the websites he finds interesting are not the ones spouting crazy talk, he reads the ones that are simply stating facts! You know, things like what ingesting fructose corn syrup does to your body or why global warming is real. I don't think he would qualify as the stuck person described in 52.3 because he then puts the information to use (we no longer eat anything containing corn syrup and we recycle big time!). So I think the I Ching was speaking to my attitude - my heart was "sore" because I don't share his interest (just tell me not to eat corn syrup - don't make me watch a video to understand why!) but I thought to be a good wife I should keep him company. The I Ching pointed out to me that it was my attitude of thinking it was essential that I sit there and watch with him was what needed adjusting.
Of course it kinda tricky to know just who the I Ching is referring to but in this case I believe I got it right (with Moss Elk's help!) because after I embraced that explanation and realized I didn't have to sit there keeping my hips still and making my sacrum stiff and suffocating my heart's desire - which was to not st there at all - the situation changed, now he's interested in other things. I find this often happens when a person really understands the I Ching's advice - the situation changes, often on it's own so one doesn't have to do anything anyway. Hmm... maybe that's what Hexagram 2.2 is trying to say.

 

[Trojina]

What should be my attitude towards my husband's interest in conspiracy theories?
hexagram 52.3 - hexagram 23.

My dearest darling sweetheart spends lots of time on the computer reading up on conspiracy theories like how 9/11 was an inside job, the awful things that go into our food and water and other stories that confirm our government is lying to us and we're all doomed and going to die. Auuugh.

I'm sure there is much truth to these stories but why does he have to focus on this? Although one might say it's just what he's interested in, a hobby almost, it doesn't cost anything so why not? But I feel it makes a person negative about life in general. Anyway, I asked what my attitude should be and got Keeping Still changing to Splitting Apart. So does that mean say nothing and leave the room? But what about line 3, how keeping still stifles the heart? Is the IChing saying I should stifle myself or warning that I should not?

Any insights most welcome!

I think 52.3 can refer to a form of escapism as when you try not to look at something because you don't want to know but it doesn't work because you know it's there. You try not to see it, one way is to lose yourself in diversions, yet it doesn't quite work because it's there whether you look at it or not.
This builds up a lot of tension as in ' isn't everything lovely' when the walls are crashing around your ears (23)

I'd say excessive focus on conspiracy theories can itself be a form of escapism from reality a bit like getting lost in a whodunit. Of course it's only really called a conspiracy theory when you don't believe in it otherwise it's truth but you say

Actually it's whistle blower sites he watches where the facts are real - which is even more scary!!!

Okay so maybe he isn't the one looking for escapism or maybe just sometimes he is. Then again you did say he looks at 9/11 being an inside job sites. I'm a bit confused if it is conspiracy theories or truth he is interested in ? Looks to be a bit of both depending on what you believe. Everyone likes to escape the confines of their own life and things bigger than them, like conspiracy theories can be ideal escape...

I know looking at grim things may not seem like the best way of escapism but then again it's a whole world unto itself like all good escapist routes.

My dearest darling sweetheart spends lots of time on the computer reading up on conspiracy theories like how 9/11 was an inside job, the awful things that go into our food and water and other stories that confirm our government is lying to us and we're all doomed and going to die. Auuugh

So his stance to life the universe and everything is very much at odds with your philosophical inclinations that connect with 'you create your own reality' approach as promoted (for want of a better word)on your website. ( I haven't read it all just saw references to 'the Secret' and Hicks I think (?) and of course what I already know of you from here). He's looking into all the bad stuff, where people are out of control of what happens and you are trying to stay with the totally positive, with the idea, I assume you have if you promote the Secret, that people actually create everything in their lives.

So that's very much opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of world view. If you think we create all in our lives (broadly speaking) and he thinks we are all victims of government plots and the like (broadly speaking) well I'd think the 52.3 has something to do with the tension of that polarity.

I think the advice of 52.3 here is not to suppress the difference or try to make it matter less than it actually does. It's interesting that as a couple you sort of embody, in this matter, the very polarities of models of thought somewhat at odds in the outside world.

That is there are for example sites all about conspiracies doom and gloom and there are sites where people just retreat into their own world where everything that happens is, they think, of their choosing. Okay most extreme polarity would be a site where pretty much everything that happens is due to government plotting versus a site where they say we are all on our way to Ascension and other dimensions and wotnot where what governments do isn't really an issue. I digress but have noticed that these 2 very different pre-occupations actually overlap a good deal

So back to the question to focus

I'm sure there is much truth to these stories but why does he have to focus on this? Although one might say it's just what he's interested in, a hobby almost, it doesn't cost anything so why not? But I feel it makes a person negative about life in general. Anyway, I asked what my attitude should be and got Keeping Still changing to Splitting Apart. So does that mean say nothing and leave the room? But what about line 3, how keeping still stifles the heart? Is the IChing saying I should stifle myself or warning that I should not?

He's focusing on the bad stuff, you are focusing on the positive stuff preferring not to look too closely at the bad stuff (I don't blame you) outside of our control and I think line 3 is probably around your urge to downplay the disparity in your philosophies ? I'd think you might benefit from a really good discussion with one another about your world views, your philosophies of life ? You could both benefit. Maybe you already did this but I think it might relieve the tension you must feel on some level. There always is a sense of tension in 52.3 although the source is not always easy to locate at all.

I recently cast 52.3 regarding someone who is in a group I was strangely ill at ease with. I'd thought I needed to talk to her privately about stuff in the group we shared and connect with her better. Casting 52.3 I thought it meant 'don't delay, don't smother the impulse to contact her' so I did. She never replied, said she lost the email and then various things happened, various times she said weird things to me until I finally realised I could allow myself to have the feeling that I simply disliked her, we don't get on. I think I was trying to supress my own feelings, doubting my own feelings, trying to over ride them, all that is very 52.3. I don't have to show her the feelings but I did need to admit them to myself and stop trying to make it better.

You already reached that conclusion of allowing yourself your own feelings

At the moment I'm cool with the advice to not feel obligated to sit there and read the posts along with him but if I do come to think I need to understand more that would be the place to start.

The 'acrid smoke' that arises when the heart is smothered, when the head and the heart are disconnected is where you do not allow yourself to recognize your true feelings. You aren't obligated to join him in his research. I'm not obligated to try to be friends with that woman. But as he is your husband well perhaps you need to talk more about your deep beliefs about life and the world and so on to air those tensions ?

Crossed posts...you explain about conspiracy theory in your recent post. Ignore my references to conspiracy theories although even a lot of interest in world affairs can constitute an escape from one's own concerns I think. I agree with your interpretation there but have expanded a bit on it here....

 

[Lilly-La]

Hi Rosada,
thanks for your kind reply. I was so surprised you got 52.3 for an 'conspiracy' issue as i did some years back. My experience with someone into conspiracy theories wasn´t pleasant at all. I simply had to share my thoughts but figured -> Rosada is just too experienced... happy you found your solution/way/answer

Now i will read trojinas long posting. The issue is of great interest to me. Since about 2 years the political situation in my country has changed a lot and many more people than ever before are into abstruse conspiracy theories -> nobody was ever on the moon and Trump and Merkel are solely Rothschild puppets ...etc...

 

[Lilly-La]

This is indeed a very good thought regarding 52.3.

I think 52.3 can refer to a form of escapism as when you try not to look at something because you don't want to know but it doesn't work because you know it's there.

Looking at the line No 3 it is
top of Mountain (winter, solitude, no creation, resting, preserving/enshrining something, retreat)
center of Water (a barrier, crossing line, deep and dangerous...etc.)
lowest of Thunder (spring, motion, energy, impulse, beginning of creation)

So we have two opposites: the preseving Mountain seperated from Thunder (creating something anew) by Water.

The Yi text speaks of 'stiffness' : it wants to preserve (is saver) and not come into motion as there is a scary river to cross (figuratively speaking). so line 3 rather stays where it is but Thunder drags and line 3 gets stiff which is a way of escaping. (It reminds me of people who always look back at the good old times.) However there is conflict in line 3 (which happened to Rosada and to you Trojina too).

From a more psychological point of view, to me line 3 still is surpressing impulses and avoiding 'creation' new steps etc.., there is a controlling element to it. More head than heart.

Well i am done with 52.3. Thanks all

 

[rosada]

Thank you Trogina and Lilly for your attention to my my question and your thoughtful responses. If I do come to see his interest in reading these sites seems to be spilling over into a cynical view of life I shall certainly speak up. Meanwhile I think this reading is a good example of the importance of being clear about the question and to not try to see it as an answer to a question that wasn't asked. I had asked what my attitude should be and I think I was told I should recognize that I was forcing myself to appear to enjoy something I did not and from that I could see the thing to do was to Split.
Works for me!
Thanks again,
Rosada

 

[deusa]

I read today that the relationships that work best have the proportion if 80 to 20 of together time and alone time.
If he is otherwise joyful, maybe this is something he likes to do and you just can let him do and accept. People are not 100% perfectly adapted.

Meanwhile, great discussion on line 52.3! Thank you all.

 

[rosada]

Yes, great discussion. I very much appreciate being able to read a wide variety of interpretations and points of view. Thank you all for your time and attention and insights.
This site is a rare gift.
Rosada

 

[deusa]

Rosada, how do you combine the yi ching and LOA?
There are some contradiction, or not?

 

[rosada]

Good question!

The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. Therefore according to the LOA, if you are feeling happy you will attract even more happiness and if you are depressed you will attract more reasons to be depressed. What you focus on you attract more of. Therefore it is important to focus on what you want, what makes you happy, and to not give excess time and attention to what you do not want, what causes you to feel depressed.

The I Ching is an oracle that describes 64 life situations and gives advice on how to handle them. You can "ask" the I Ching questions and be directed to read one of these descriptions which are considered to be "answers" to whatever was asked.

It's often debated whether one's state of mind, positive or negative, determines the answers one receives. If one is in a positive or negative state of mind will they attract positive or negative answers as The Law of Attraction seems to suggest? Or are all the answers neutral but we just interpret them according to our mood? Certainly it's harder to interpret the response if a person is emotionally caught up in the situation but frequently people get clear answers that don't seem to match their feelings at all. Often these answers seem to connect with a deeper level of understanding than feelings. However, ultimately people seem to find that having a neutral feeling when consulting the I Ching reveals the most helpful answers - an attitude which, btw, people then tend to find is a good attitude to strengthen for life in general.

 

[rosada]

If you wish to discuss these ideas further you can start a thread over on Exploring Divination. I'd rather not keep bringing up this thread. Thanks!

 

[Liselle]

Book!

I haven't read it, but I thought of you when I saw the title.



https://www.amazon.com/Suspicious-Minds-Believe-Conspiracy-Theories/dp/1472915615