What should I do about this acquaintance?

[themulberrytree]

I have an acquaintance and we spend time with each other just about everyday.

The problem is, I don't trust her. I notice how often she talks about her mother and the way she talks makes me very suspicious that she doesn't have a good relationship with her mother but she's in denial. When we're out with other people, I see how she changes the conversation so that she may talk about her experiences even when they are irrelevant to the conversation. She's constantly trying to one-up others by talking about her experiences. She wants attention and approval for things all of the time. Neither of us had ever really drunken before this trip and it's all she can do to tell the stories over and over again of how this makes it awkward for her to Skype her parents, who will know when she's tipsy, or tell us about her very low BMI. She talks a lot about how she pretended to be drunk on Twitter and her cousin told her, "No drunk tweeting, sweetie." I briefly lost my keys in my bag, and she keeps asking me if I know where my keys are, with the allusion that I am drunk.

That's not to put me out of the blame, of course. I constantly feel tempted to one-up her or shut her down for these things. Once, we were at the mall and she wanted to go to the parking lot because it was a cool-looking parking lot. I said, 'That's a parking lot, isn't it?' and proceeded to drag her around. I apologized after and she took me up on the opportunity to dictate where we went, but still.

I asked the above question and received 13.3>25. To me, this says that I should discuss this with her and bring my issues out into the open? What do you think?

 

[Pearlescent]

Hi mulberrytree, I'm not going to try to decipher your reading because this line has given me some confusion in the past. My very shaky understanding of it's meaning, however it may apply to your situation, is that one is unnecessarily taking a defensive position. I'm sure others will comment more about your reading...

I did want to offer a little friendly advice, because you say you spend time together just about every day, and although I don't know the whole situation, if the little things she's doing are starting to bother you, a good bit of space can be the healthiest thing for any friendship or relationship. Just enough to where you might actually miss her a little, I've noticed with my own relationships that this really helps when it comes to those annoying 'little things'.

Also, someone who is that excited about appearing drunk or getting drunk is probably just inexperienced, and life will eventually take care of that. I also sometimes feel the desire to one-up people who set the stage for that all the time, but ultimately I find my own desire to one-up them to be something I should let go and replace with patience and compassion. But that of course is much easier said than done... Which is why a little space can help.

 

[Tim K]

I agree with you, continuing to avoid the issue will change nothing.

Richmond:
If we can gather our courage we should go forth and experience consequences instead of hiding from them, and this change is probably more possible than we think.

The tao is about feeling the resonance of relationship but here we are shy of the contest that polarity involves and transfer our attention to outer activity, doing things rather than feeling them and thinking things out rather than feeling them within us. In this way we miss the change in ourselves that the resonance of feeling would cause.

I think this will force you to acknowledge your real feelings about her, and also reveal her true character.

Huang calls 25 'Propriety', Natural Order. So put things into order, examine if this person fits into natural order of things for you.

 

[themulberrytree]

I just decided to confront her. I couldn't bring myself to do it in person, so I did it via messaging. I'm waiting on a response, and I can't bring myself to read that, either. But when I do and I respond in turn, I'll share with you guys.