what the hell just happened?!

[rosalind]

Hello, I have been on here a bit, asking for interpretation regarding reconciling with my ex husband. I'm a little spooked. We have a son, we are trying to maintain friendship, navigate a separation, with a little "maybe we'll reconcile after some time, healing and work on ourselves". I recently decided it was best for me to move on and attend to my own happiness and tend to my son and stop panicking about my relationship.
I asked what the future holds for me and my ex and I got 37 Family changing to 63 after completion. At first, i thought, that on present course, the my family would end up in chaos. We start out ok then fall apart. (assuming that's the correct interpretation) or is that we'll be a family again?

so i asked immediately "what can i do to change this course?" and i got 63 changing to 37.

I can't get a reaction to this other than to clap my hands, stand up and say "what the hell?" i assume that i can't really do much of anything right now.
I appreciate greatly and objective opinion on this, and many thanks for your time. I read lots of your threads, and everything helps me, and sometimes even moves me to tears.

also... I'm trying to ask less and just live my life,, but i got sucked back in because I want to know too much...

 

[mudpie]

Rosalind, I think the first reading implies that moving on may be course of action that is indicated. I never see any reading as set in stone, mind you, but for now, it seems that the Yi is affirming your desire to move on. Line 6 is often the ending of something, and 63 is saying the river is already being crossed, it is already in motion. 37.6 is also about being confident and self-respecting.

The second reading seems to just emphasize what you must do. it is the end of a cycle, not the time to get fainthearted or to second-guess yourself. To me, this says that you are doing what you must do now, regardless......maybe the marriage is over and even if it is not, for right now, it is appropriate for you to remain steady, move forward confidently and maintain your equilibrium.

even if the family were to right itself again, it would have to be on new ground, a brand new beginning. the old ways have come to an end. If a new beginning is possible, it seems it will be because you have followed through and insisted on not going back to the way it was.

all the best to you.

 

[rosalind]

thanks for your reply. I guess i already knew that and up until I told him i was moving forward, I got readings suggesting that i keep trying to hold this together. This was really reassuring in a way, because i have gotten alot of good advice from both casting and reading others' threads. I was more blown away by the firm answer than what it actually told me.

 

[fkegan]

hex 37.6 >>63 and 63.6>>family

Rosalind,
I would take the oracle, even the pair of oracles with the same final line moving as indicating a strong emphasis upon that final line place and not any judgment of what will happen next--especially as the oracle is a NOW thing not about what will happen afterwards when all sorts of things can interfere.

The top line place is the transition to the NEXT with such an emphasis, I would suggest the oracle is saying something like--you are considering moving on, but stop to ask what will be the result if you do let go and how do I affect possible bad results further down the line--why not try moving on, the journey of a thousand li begins with the first step, so one foot in front of the other, and when you get somewhere new and different that will be the time to inquire about it all.

The top line of hex 37 is a favorable line judgment. It says in the end there is good fortune when the whole prior family process is judged and the parents work commands respect.
The top line of hex 63 describes the difficulty...if after making a change, completing the prior situation perfectly, instead of getting on with your life you insist upon leaning far over and looking back over prior situations until you fall in.


There is a thread about hex 37 under exploring divination with the title of Your family is Not Quite Correct dealing with issues of what the family hex 37 is all about and its relationship to hex 63 which changes the top line to a Yin line which is 'correct' or even in that even place.

Your oracles do not suggest your family would descend into chaos if you move on; rather if you don't let go and move on YOU will never get anywhere.

But then, its your oracle and you can pick and choose what you wish to suit your self.

Frank

 

[rosalind]

i will try and find that thread, Frank, and thanks for your input. given my situation, it's safe to say we'll all be traveling together for a long while. I don't see any situation as fixed, and i understand the fluidity things. As i have descended into a panic and live with anxiety that is distorting my life right now, moving on seemed the only way to go.
My first reaction was that we'll never be a family again, but then i realized that we'll never NOT be a family. I also took it advice to focus on the family aspect and our son instead of our relationship. I am also hesitant to include two individuals in one question, but i did anyway without thinking.

 

[fkegan]

Family in terms of raising the children...

Rosalind,
Here is the beginning of the thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=5394

"As i have descended into a panic and live with anxiety that is distorting my life right now, moving on seemed the only way to go." I would focus upon the details of hex 37...line 6, it is a lovely statement about what matters in terms of the final results of the family which is the successful development of children who grow up and live their own lives.

A bit of info from psychology... panic or panic attacks are believed to be the result of someone feeling that if they were to be in trouble no one would bother to notice them or help them. This causes one to jump ahead a bit and trigger the feelings that you are in big trouble (like a heart attack) and see if your fears would come true...better to find out before things get serious, one's mind suggests. Not the most effective snap judgment and overreaction but it does raise red flags to be dealt with.

So, the feelings of panic and anxiety have a lot to do with relationship issues that seem broken and unavailable for your comfort and support.

In general if you can focus upon the fact that your son surely cares about you and would call 911 if you had a heart attack; and that the point of a family, at least in the Yi oracle's terms is to raise your children and all else can wait until he is grown up and living out his own life before judgment makes any sense. That is what hex 37 line 6 is about.

Another general point of the Yi Oracle---it almost never tells you terrible things that might happen for you to worry about and get upset. Asking about "what the future holds for me and my ex" and getting hex 37 line 6 is more likely to indicate that by the time your son is all grown up you and your ex will both show up proudly at his wedding and what else is there to care about now?

Frank

 

[ben_s]

Hi Rosalind,

I don't see why 63 would be cause for panic. I see it as a situation which is fair and mutually beneficial, but it is balanced in a fragile way that might come undone if taken for granted. 63 shows that order can be maintained. But this is only true as long as maintenance work is done. Just passively assuming that it's OK to assume the situation will take care of itself is the way to guarantee a collapse into chaos.

From your description, it sounds like you and your ex are both interested in being fair to each other, emotionally healthy individuals and good parents to your son. 63 shows that all of this can happen, as long as you are both realistically willing to know that this is a challenge that will require some work.

I would recommend you ask both Yi and psychology about healthy boundaries. Hexagram 60 is about acting at the right time to go outside, and being content at the right time to stay inside. Cloud and Townsend have several books about healthy boundaries from a perspective that mixes modern psychology and Christian counseling. If you aren't a Christian, the psychology part is still useful.

You could also ask the Yi questions like, "What way of approaching my ex is best for our son?" Come to think of it, that might be an excellent question to ask a licensed family therapist as well - together with your ex.

 

[willowfox]

Hex 37.6 > 63

This is a very good line saying that what you are trying to do is very good for the family as a whole. Hex 63 says some successes will be achieved but do not rest upon your laurels always remain vigilant and then the status quo will stay balanced.


Hex 63.6 > 37

Well, for a start you don't want to change this course of line 37.6, so line 63.6 is telling you to do what you set out to do and don't waver, the future is forwards and not backwards.