What to do with grief 48.1.6-->9

[jag256]

Hello! I'm new here-- have been using the I Ching personally and reading this blog for supports with interpretation, but keep feeling muddled with contradictory lines.

The most recent reading -- "what should I do with all this grief about my mom" from whom I am estranged for many good reasons. The absence of mothering has impacted me profoundly in my life and I find myself now, a decade since estrangement, still longing for the mothering that was missed not knowing how to make this longing feel any different or be useful to me or the world. For context -- I also work as a therapist with folks doing early developmental trauma work. In more generous moments I can see how my own learning and healing around this grief has helped my work and the people I work with.

Yi's answer -

48.1 and 48.6 ---> 9

The meaning I have for Line 6:
One draws from the well
Without hindrance.
It is dependable.
Supreme good fortune.

and Line 1:
One does not drink the mud of the well.
No animals come to an old well.

.... this tells me only that there may be a time in the future when "the well" will be restored?? (I take this to mean me and my own mothering/tending capacities, perhaps?) but not... how? Is the "how" hex 9? To tend to and be satisfied with small, incremental changes in how I hold this grief and what grows from my choices in the world?

Thanks for helping out this stranger...

 

[ontheroad]

Hello jag256 - I know and have lived your story in many ways.

Line 1 - no point going over and over what is and what is not - it's an old story on repeat - you'll get nothing from doing that.
Line 6 - What would you advise your clients to do? Do that. You're the barrier to having a happy life, not your mother. You are not your trauma and you are not your lack of your mothers love. You are you - draw from that. Your mother isn't the problem, the mother in you is.

 

[rosada]

I see 48. The Well as describing here how we go within to draw on our inner connection to Mother Earth and thus draw up the confidence or whatever it is we need from within to flourish in this life.
48.1 then would be the awareness that this connection has been neglected and in need of repair, which sounds like a description of the relationship between you and your own mother. I’m unclear though, is your mother still living ? If so I think 48.6 would point to an actual reconciliation with her. If she is deceased I think 48.6 would be very positive for you ultimately feeling all is good, maybe you come to feel you understand her, the misunderstandings sink to the bottom and clarity rises to the top?
9 is a very positive omen for being able to move ahead on your own - as if to say you would have wished for the relationship to have been better but it is what it is and you don’t dwell on what might have been - you look forward to see what the future will bring.

 

[marybluesky]

Being estranged from one's mother is really painful. I can feel you.

48.1 and 48.6 ---> 9

It's a good omen: a well going from muddy water no one drinks from turning to a fresh, dependable one. As the hexagram 48 is about relationship and communication, I'd say you should repair your relationship with her, slow by slow (9).

You have tolerated it for ten years, so I guess you'll be totally able to put boundaries and keep in contact in a pretty healthy way.