What to do with this broken heart > 15uc

[lightafterdarkness]

Hello everyone, I'd truly appreciate your insights on this hexagram. Unchanging hexagrams are usually straight forward or confusing to me.


I've recently broken up with a partner. (Posted a thread related about this earlier) and although I've been heartbroken many times before, this is the second time in my life I really saw a future with someone. It was a deep commitment. Along with that my dad passed away last week, which is even heavier on my heart. Now the question was mostly in relation to the seperation though as I know the latter will take much longer to grieve.

Needless to say my heart needs mending in many ways as well as to having to grief and let go of multiple fundamental people in my life at the same time.

Hexagram 15 to me seems to be about coming back in unity to myself?

I'm confused here. Anyone who has any thoughts?

 

[rosada]

I think of 15 as representing a common decent human being. (Though such seem rather uncommon unfortunately!) Could be encouragement that while you were thinking this guy might have been your One and Only the ic is saying don’t make him out as anyone special. There are a million fish in the sea.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. Buy your self some new shoes. It helps!

 

[lightafterdarkness]

I think of 15 as representing a common decent human being. (Though such seem rather uncommon unfortunately!) Could be encouragement that while you were this guy might have been your One and Only the ic is saying don’t make him out as anyone special. There are a million fish in the sea.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. Buy your self some new shoes. It helps!

Hi Rosada! Thank you for your response and insight, much appreciated.

I am aware that I'll most likely meet someone else if we won't find our ways back together again.

Could it be that it's also telling me to learn from this relationship and not be as cautious anymore but instead stay more true to my authenticity and integrity? The hidden influence is liberation so perhaps it tells me I've been liberated from this romantic relationship for now as well as me gaining some insight about what added to the ending + what isn't working for me anymore. It's time for me to return to my authenticity ?I've been struggling with blaming myself, perhaps it's telling me that I am just a decent human being and I am allowed to make mistakes? I understand I am not at fault though, my ex and I concluded we both are and it's also been timing. The unchanging form seems to say that there's still more clarity needed though.. It's saying now is not the time for what I'm seeking, perhaps IC is telling me that I need to give myself time to let go?

Your interpretation could be an addition to all that indeed, as sometimes I can linger on a person for a long time. I'm a venus in taurus so my love is quite dedicated.

Also your comment about buying shoes made me laugh out loud as those struggles are so heavy on the heart yet something as light as buying shoes resembles the relativity of things as well as the contrast. I needed that.

 

[Trojina]

I'm very sorry to hear of your father's passing

Hexagram 15 to me seems to be about coming back in unity to myself?

I'm confused here. Anyone who has any thoughts?

It's an interesting answer for 'what to do with this broken heart?'

My immediate thoughts were this is advice to see it only as it is, as it really is, without branching too far into idealisations of what was or 'could have been' with your partner. The pair of 15 is 16. If you turn 15 upside down you have 16, two different ways of handling reality. 16 visualises, imagines, conjures and 15 asks you very much to deal with what is as it is.

There are threads of people's experiences for each of the hexagrams in uc form, here is the one 15uc if you've not yet seen it it may give some ideas

Your Experiences with Unchanging Castings, Hexagram 15

Anyone have an experiences, ideas.....or even dreams relating to the the particular significance of hexagram 15 in it's unchanging form ? I have my own small theory that paying attention to the pairs is especially helpful in interpretation of unchanging castings so I looked at what Lise said...

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

Thinking more about it I wonder if this is simply a comfort and a form of praise from Yi. Sometimes Yi just comforts, sometimes it can just be like a holding, not giving 'advice' as such but being with you where you are, acknowledging your situation and confirming that despite the pain you are in you're on track, you are doing well. 15 is I think the only hexagram where all of the lines are of good auspice. This hexagram very much stresses good qualities in a person.

The Oracle

'Integrity, creating success.
The noble one completes it.'

The Image

'In the centre of the earth there is a mountain. Humility.
The noble one (lightafterdarkness) reduces the many to increase the few,
She weighs things up to even out their distribution.'

So here one is responding to reality just as it is, meeting reality where it is and working with it. 16 conjures or prepares for a reality but in 15 it is the reality right where one is that one has to deal with.


I feel you're getting approval from Yi, I think you are the noble one here and it seems Yi is pointing to integrity in completing/working through things. Relationships are work, being honest in relationships and meeting the other as who they really are as who you really are, authentically, is very hard work, it's no small thing yet it is not celebrated as 'hard work', not really recognized as achievement. But in 15, this humility, the modesty of meeting others truly as they are is very much praised by Yi.


I wonder also if this is a comment on your relationship to your father? You see there is invariably work being done in 15 and it's not always work that shows on the outside. Caring is work but it isn't seen as work, there's all kinds of 'work' we do that the world doesn't call 'work' and 15 can draw attention to the work in daily life and relationships that really builds good character....I can't think of a better phrase, 'good character' isn't quite right, 'integrity' I guess is the lovely quality of 15.

So Yi confirms your integrity. You have a broken heart but your heart is shining nonetheless because it is full of this lovely quality of integrity is what I feel the answer may be pointing to. In an unchanging cast the Image can be especially helpful and it shows someone being aware and balanced about what is theirs to do and what isn't. Hilary has said 15 is often a reminder to her that 'it doesn't all depend on me'.
Whatever happened between you and your partner isn't all your responsibility, that's the levelling out in the Image.

I think this is a lovely answer, not so easy to apply very specifically in words but in the feelings it puts over, well I do think you are being praised and you could take this both as an affirmation of who you have been and who you are in relationships and also as advice to take each days as it comes. 15 can also be very pragmatic, the focus is on what needs to be done. For now focus on what needs to be done and I hope you can feel the affirmation Yi is giving through this answer.

 

[lightafterdarkness]

I'm very sorry to hear of your father's passing


It's an interesting answer for 'what to do with this broken heart?'

My immediate thoughts were this is advice to see it only as it is, as it really is, without branching too far into idealisations of what was or 'could have been' with your partner. The pair of 15 is 16. If you turn 15 upside down you have 16, two different ways of handling reality. 16 visualises, imagines, conjures and 15 asks you very much to deal with what is as it is.

There are threads of people's experiences for each of the hexagrams in uc form, here is the one 15uc if you've not yet seen it it may give some ideas

Your Experiences with Unchanging Castings, Hexagram 15

Anyone have an experiences, ideas.....or even dreams relating to the the particular significance of hexagram 15 in it's unchanging form ? I have my own small theory that paying attention to the pairs is especially helpful in interpretation of unchanging castings so I looked at what Lise said...

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

Thinking more about it I wonder if this is simply a comfort and a form of praise from Yi. Sometimes Yi just comforts, sometimes it can just be like a holding, not giving 'advice' as such but being with you where you are, acknowledging your situation and confirming that despite the pain you are in you're on track, you are doing well. 15 is I think the only hexagram where all of the lines are of good auspice. This hexagram very much stresses good qualities in a person.

The Oracle

'Integrity, creating success.
The noble one completes it.'

The Image

'In the centre of the earth there is a mountain. Humility.
The noble one (lightafterdarkness) reduces the many to increase the few,
She weighs things up to even out their distribution.'

So here one is responding to reality just as it is, meeting reality where it is and working with it. 16 conjures or prepares for a reality but in 15 it is the reality right where one is that one has to deal with.


I feel you're getting approval from Yi, I think you are the noble one here and it seems Yi is pointing to integrity in completing/working through things. Relationships are work, being honest in relationships and meeting the other as who they really are as who you really are, authentically, is very hard work, it's no small thing yet it is not celebrated as 'hard work', not really recognized as achievement. But in 15, this humility, the modesty of meeting others truly as they are is very much praised by Yi.


I wonder also if this is a comment on your relationship to your father? You see there is invariably work being done in 15 and it's not always work that shows on the outside. Caring is work but it isn't seen as work, there's all kinds of 'work' we do that the world doesn't call 'work' and 15 can draw attention to the work in daily life and relationships that really builds good character....I can't think of a better phrase, 'good character' isn't quite right, 'integrity' I guess is the lovely quality of 15.

So Yi confirms your integrity. You have a broken heart but your heart is shining nonetheless because it is full of this lovely quality of integrity is what I feel the answer may be pointing to. In an unchanging cast the Image can be especially helpful and it shows someone being aware and balanced about what is theirs to do and what isn't. Hilary has said 15 is often a reminder to her that 'it doesn't all depend on me'.
Whatever happened between you and your partner isn't all your responsibility, that's the levelling out in the Image.

I think this is a lovely answer, not so easy to apply very specifically in words but in the feelings it puts over, well I do think you are being praised and you could take this both as an affirmation of who you have been and who you are in relationships and also as advice to take each days as it comes. 15 can also be very pragmatic, the focus is on what needs to be done. For now focus on what needs to be done and I hope you can feel the affirmation Yi is giving through this answer.

Hello Trojina,

Thank you.

I first of all want to tell you that your response seems to have come from the heart and that I take it to heart as well. I appreciate your time and effort a lot. It seems to be something I truly needed to hear as I've strayed away from my integrity in the relationship at times (I'm very aware of what needs to be changed or what type of shadows I have) but in practice, especially when under pressure and dealing with another's shadows as well it can prove to be very hard to always move consciously and centered. I feel very responsible for my behaviors, especially when I feel like I didn't move from the heart but instead from fear.

Truth is the ending of the relationship and also prior I've worked through a lot of shadows and indeed it is one of my key values to always return to my integrity and to do things with dedication if my heart is involved. I've had some very deep understandings about how this time in relation to my dad, as well as my ex partner has caused me to pass away symbolically.

I've realized that resisting change or resisting things out of fear is only bringing misery to myself and others and it's time to break free from certain patterns that are not protecting or serving me anymore. I've also realized how resisting the course of life equals resisting myself as one cannot change things beyond their own control. I realized I am being called to trust life and it's path regardless of the grief or sadness involved with certain turns life takes and to try to see the bigger picture while also letting that sense of unfairness or grief co-exist.

Life is inviting me to move with it as it returns me to grace and closer to myself. It is hard though, because the ego tends to leave claw marks on everything it holds dear when pressured. Things seem to be crumbling and the first instinct is to resist and to try and put it back together.
But sometimes the crumbling is needed as all things come to their end.

Perhaps IC is responding to this insight I've had around two days ago, before it was existing at a mental level but I seem to be ready to start integrating this and embodying it slowly although I'm sure it will prove to be a challenge. I think maybe the IC is applauding me for seeing the bigger picture in things and while sometimes feeling like I'm losing it, being able to find moments of clarity and grace when it seems to be hidden away. I guess in a way this also reflects life in a way, polarities exist and sometimes the only way to transcend those extremes is to find one thing in the other?

That's why your response touched me so much, I really have tried my hardest to return to integrity and let my heart shine when my ego felt very destructive and full of fear and sadness.
Instead I'm trying to embrace that now and trying to remember to come back to this inner understanding although it's a challenge.

I can see how a lot of things you're mentioning are incredibly fitting. And also fitting to the insecurities I've had that actually made me feel even worse, for example I know what was my responsibility or not however the knowing and the feeling sometimes are seperate. I always feel like I should've done things better, in a sense I'm very critical of myself and balancing this out and reconnecting with my mind and integrity allows me to see what belongs to me and what does not.

Also every relationship I have, I reflect on deeply. Sometimes even years after they've passed. I think relationships are teachers, especially if they carry karmic elements. I always try to analyse and reflect on past relationships so I can grow and better myself.

The IC really seems to hold me, remind me of things I already know but doubt and to praise me for the work I try to do while in pain. It's definetly easier to escape things, but that wouldn't match integrity to myself nor others.

Again, thank you for your time and words. Before registering I've read many of your responses on other topics and they've always been very useful. So, actually my gratitude for all those other times too!