What to expect from ex mother in law's threats? 53.3.5 to 23

[dancingfox]

Hi everybody

As I said in a recent post I ended a long-term relationship with an addict. He has shown his true colors since the break-up by changing the locks from our house and locking me out, trying to keep my furniture as his own en even using his mother (he's 34!) to threaten me with legal steps. They don't have any decent ground to sue me as I paid all of our joint bills. I suspect she just wants to hurt me, scare me or intimidate me. She thinks her son is holy and holds me responsible for everything that is going wrong in her sons life. She is being really nasty and refuses to recognize her son as an addict.

So I try to keep my head cool a s I have a lot of other important stuff going on in my life. I asked the Yi: What to expect from ex mother in law's threats? 53.3.5 to 23

This reading seems to tell me to carry on in small ways and concentrate on what is important, my studies.

Other opinions are very welcome though, I feel all muffled and scared right now. Not the right state of mind to do my own reading.

 

[Trojina]

So I try to keep my head cool a s I have a lot of other important stuff going on in my life. I asked the Yi: What to expect from ex mother in law's threats? 53.3.5 to 23

I think you may want to ask other questions because it's hard for me to know if this is a direct answer about what she will do, I mean 'what to expect' is kind of asking what she will do, or whether it's advice to you about what to do about her.

As a sentence 'Gradual Progression's Stripping' not a lot of fun by the sound of it but is that applying to her or you ? I mean it could look like a gradual realisation that things have irretrievably broken down....but you know that.

Where do you recognise the gradual progress here ? That may be a clue to how to take the answer. In 53 things unfold in a prescribed course, slowly, step by step in a proper way. Now the very reverse of that happens in line 3 and the very reverse of that has happened to you. Instead of ending the relationship in a proper, normal step by step way he's acted like the outlaws in line 3 (someone I met this week calls her inlaws the outlaws).....he locked you out. He broke the rules of care to you. Even in ending a relationship people owe one another care and he let you down there and by extension so did she. I think the line says 'fruitful to resist outlaws' so this line asks you to take proper care of yourself and your property against these outlaws. Line 5 is a bit of a mystery here but I think it bodes well for the long term outcome. Something long wished for comes to fruition. How can that be in this situation ? I don't know. Maybe in making this break you are breaking some old way of life or old habit of thinking for yourself ? I'm not sure.

I don't think this answer should worry you because I think it describes what is already happening. I think you need to fully recognise their actions as those of outlaws and take due precautions if necessary...hmm a bit late I know but whilst she is threatening you with legal action they both need to be aware I think that is they who are breaking the law and you could likely more successfully bring a claim against them than they could against you ! Don't rule out using your own legal advisors here. 53 often shows up around bureaucracy, the slow development of things...here the slow development of stripping away. But I'm not sure it's you who need fear legal action I think it's them. I wonder if they would quieten down a lot if you took some legal advice yourself and showed them you were quite wise to your position and that frankly their position could be pretty weak

 

[Trojina]

Hang on just re read this

As I said in a recent post I ended a long-term relationship with an addict. He has shown his true colors since the break-up by changing the locks from our house and locking me out, trying to keep my furniture as his own en even using his mother (he's 34!) to threaten me with legal steps. They don't have any decent ground to sue me as I paid all of our joint bills. I suspect she just wants to hurt me, scare me or intimidate me. She thinks her son is holy and holds me responsible for everything that is going wrong in her sons life. She is being really nasty and refuses to recognize her son as an addict.

You paid the bills and it's your furniture they have effectively stolen....Probably in a civil court you'd win I'd say. Civil cases cost money so where do these people imagine they will get the money from to sue you for them stealing your furniture and locking you out of your home. Ludicrous, they'd be laughed out of court...I think they need to know they are the ones skating on thin ice here so it's in their best interests to return to you what is rightfully yours and quit their squealing about using legal action against you.

 

[Trojina]

Here's line 3 from Hilary's translation in wikiwing

‘The wild geese gradually advance to the high plateau.
The husband marches out and does not return;
The wife is pregnant, but does not raise the child;
Pitfall.
Harvest in resisting outlaws

They are surely the outlaws.

I now see line 5 as perhaps you successfully winning against them I think. You should have your furniture back and I think you can have it back too !

 

[dancingfox]

Hi Trojina

I tried to keep a long story short but I see I might have created some confusion in doing that. I managed to get my furniture back last weekend, after a month of harassment. We rented the house together so he had no right changing the locks. When I threatened with the cops and a locksmith he had no choice but to back of.

I used to manage our whole household including our finances. (So happy and relieved I no longer have to carry those burdens anymore!) He never had a clue about managing his own finances. I imagine when I left my ex, his mom needed to pick up his mess because he is usually to static to actually do something for himself. He doesn't know the first thing about managing his income. Now there are some bigger bills on his own name piling up and she tries to intimidate me into paying for them. She tries pestering me into paying I guess. If that doesn't work she will have to help her son financially.

Where do you recognize the gradual progress here ?

I have been thinking and dreaming of leaving him for a very long time (line 5?) At first I needed to recognize the fact that I was in love with an addict and what that meant for me. After accepting this rather harsh insight I kept looking for reasons to stay with him, because the thought of actually leaving was to scary for me. Then I started to ran out of real reasons to stay. So I postponed, I argued with myself that, as a student I don't have a big income. Where would I go? I saw hindrances everywhere, it's what my mind created because I wasn't ready to face it yet, I think. I decided to take my inner circle into confidence about my dire straits. With their support I finally found courage to take the final step and leave his sorry ass

Also there is a bureaucratic issue with our rental contract (hex 53?). Our real estate agent tries to charge us a lot of money for transferring our rental contract from us both to just my ex.

So line 3 is indeed my ex and his mom as the outlaws.

23 I think is the breaking down of an unhealthy relationship-pattern in my life?

I will definitely be taking legal advice, thanks for the tip! All in all a heartening reading I think. Thank you Trojina, for your in dept reading.