What's the Use of Attractivenss for Me? 49.2.4.5>11

[marybluesky]

The question doesn't imply how attractive I am, as almost everyone is considered fairly attractive in their youth; and people are advised to use their youthful beauty in a good way as it doesn't last forever.

But I never understood how I could benefit from it; how it works.

The main advantage of being attractive is often considered to be having lots of choices in finding suitable partners. That has never been the case for me. I was sought after by people I didn't want, and never was the romantic partner of someone I was attracted to. The guys I wanted were with/went for other girls.

Another advantage of attractiveness is its undeniable role in careers such as modeling, acting, singing, ... . Well, I do none of that.

In brief, I couldn't use my attractiveness to my [benevolent] benefit. Now I'm going to turn 31 and won't be young for a long time. I know that aging sometimes hurts- for example when I see the photos of five years ago when I had a younger skin. However not more than that. I didn't have any special opportunities due to my youth and attractiveness in first place to be afraid of losing them.
When I see 50-year-old women who have had many admirers and been in several relationships/marriages, and are however so scared of aging and becoming less beautiful in the public eye, I ask why: they had a full life, they earned whatever is expected to come with beauty. Then what should I say, who had none of that?

Anyway, I asked the I Ching "what's the use of attractiveness for me" and got 49.2.4.5> 11

Can't relate to the answer. It talks about making a radical change in one's own day, like a tiger, and the lines are auspicious. So what's the use? What radical change? When's my "own" day? When I'm 70?

I'll appreciate your comments.

 

[becalm]

What an extraordinary but interesting question!!! I've been attractive all my life and nothing's changed even now when I'm nearing 60 - I'm still attractive just not youthful.

In response to your reading I feel it holds you in good steed that people tend to believe in what you say or do and it made me wonder what you are doing in your life.....what you do for a job or interest?

 

[Matali]

49- 11 : it's funny because Yi seems to tell you to transform yourself to find love... Does Yi see in our wardrobe and make-up kit ? So, obviously, as we want to be intelligent too, we tell ourselves that it's not just an aesthetic transformation ... Maybe a way to see the attraction in a different way to find your ideal 11. That attraction is important...

 

[marybluesky]

In response to your reading I feel it holds you in good steed that people tend to believe in what you say or do and it made me wonder what you are doing in your life.....what you do for a job or interest?

So you consider the attractiveness to project trustworthiness- at least in my case.

I am translator; my main interest is to translate and publish the books I find interesting, specially in the fields related to humanities. I work for a website and my job includes translation beside other tasks such as SEO and publishing content.
I'll choose working with foreign languages & texts over any other job, which is a solitary thing to do.
I've also worked as a French teacher. If no text-related work is found I prefer to teach.

 

[becalm]

Sounds super interesting!! And yes I'd think if you teach then it's easier for people to enjoy learning from you due to your attractiveness....Attractiveness can mean many things though can't it?
I mean if we are talking about it from a physical perspective there's your standard pretty or handsome but attractive is a whole other thing and I've learnt to use my attractiveness to my advantage - not in a manipulative sense but also when I'm teaching others or getting something I need to get done without people creating a drama or whatever. People get drawn to aesthetics and if it makes your job or your life easier then it's a good thing......Mostly I use it to get people to laugh at themselves!!!

 

[Trojina]

Evolution's 'purpose' for attractiveness is to procreate. For flowers, for people for bird and all that. We don't own our own beauty it's gifted to us by nature so as such it has no purpose, should have no purpose for us personally. People do think they own it and try to 'use' it and those are the people that can't adapt to ageing, because they have falsely believed beauty to be something they own and so when it leaves they are bereft.

We are just as flowers, budding, flowering, withering, dying or so it says somewhere in the bible I think. That's true isn't it. I don't think beauty equates to happiness, I was very attractive when younger but am much happier now at 60 than I was then. Society feeds us bullshit 'look at this beautiful girl on a beach, she has everything' the billboards say well no she effing well doesn't. She doesn't revel in orgiastic bliss at her own beauty every minute of the day and so many assumptions are made about attractive people, that they're doing well, that they're okay, for men too. I recall once meeting a really attractive young man outside a healing centre where I was working. He was too anxious to come inside and I recall noticing how I just hadn't expected this because he was good looking with fashionable clothes on.


So your own beauty isn't there for personal benefit although some make money from it. There's nothing wrong with that except it's a mistake to think you own it. But you asked

Anyway, I asked the I Ching "what's the use of attractiveness for me" and got 49.2.4.5> 11

Revolution's Flow, Transformation's Flow - your attractiveness is part of the flow of your ongoing transformation. You are within it, you can't use it though you can appreciate and enjoy it. Fully inhabit it without fear as in line 5, be bold and confident and enjoy it, don't worry about it.

 

[becalm]

Exactly right Trojina!!! I think if you are that attractive there is an expectation you must be happier or more together than everyone else but in reality you're just a human being like everyone else.
I used to think what have celebrities got to complain about - they've got financial security, a career, a lot of times beauty, someone to love them etc. but in the end they still have to deal with what's in their own Hearts don't they.

 

[Trojina]

I had it all the time when I was young. Any time I was upset or unhappy someone would say 'what have you got to worry about looking like that' I think that started aged about 12, 'you're so pretty there's nothing to cry about'. I even remember in a job I was struggling with a lot and staying away I was called in by the manager and he said 'well your attractive no need to be unhappy'. Indeed I even had that later in life 'well you've got all the right bits in all the right places'. Like these people meant to be kind but I'd think WTF does that have to do with how I feel.

I think it's popular culture has exaggerated physical beauty to the point where one grows up believing that it = success. When a person makes it their only value they will be very unhappy as it leaves and better looking younger people come along. Mostly I think older people are happier than young though I can't prove it, I know I am much happier now than in my 20s.

Another bloody annoying thing people say is things like 'you're not making the most of what you've got' like you are supposed to put 'it' out there for full market value. I remember my aunt, when I was mid forties pointing at my hands comparing them to hers saying 'look at your skin....don't waste it'. I think what she was saying was just enjoy what you have. I recall her as an old lady looking at pictures of herself about age 13 and saying she hadn't known then how pretty she was. So without being vain I think one can enjoy the beauty you have and appreciate it as a gift but don't expect it to have an exact purpose for you.

The answer cast is a lovely answer, how beauty is part of the ongoing transformation and you can wear it without fear. There are plenty of ways to see the answer but that is how it struck me.

 

[Trojina]

Also I'm 60 and like becalm plenty of people still tell me I'm an attractive woman so either they are after our money (i don't have any) or well you know we've still got what it takes

 

[Freedda]

What's the Use of Attractivenss for Me? 49.2.4.5 .... I'm going to turn 31 and won't be young for a long time.

[Unrelated, sarcastic comment has been removed.]

For your reading, a few things stand out for me:

49.0 says 'on the sacrifice day, use the captives ... troubles disappear'.
49.4 talks of 'changing one's orders'.
49.5 says that 'great men (humans) use tiger fur'.

This is pointing to a transformation, or to a change in attitude or thinking about attractiveness. Maybe 49.4's 'changing one's orders' is about changing what you've always been told or believed about being attractive.

You have part of this down: you already sense that being attractive does not always equate to a job, mate, kids - and that this 'has never been the case for (you)'. And your attractiveness has a been part of this lesson.

So there's the other part of the equation: if attractiveness has not brought these things into your life, then what will? Maybe there are 'captives' here: something - perhaps internal and not external - that is keeping you trapped, or feeling like a 'captive' - and that this needs to be given up, sacrificed, ... or maybe transformed.

So, here's a transformation - maybe seeing 'attractiveness' differently, as in 49.5 where great people (women and men) have gotten rid of their plain old (or young) skins, and now wear something else - Tiger's fur-skin: they've replaced their mere 'attractiveness' with 'skin' that fits better, is warmer, more comfortable, protective, beautiful (even as it ages), and has a certain animal-like quality or attractiveness to it.

All the best ....

 

[marybluesky]

I'd start by saying, just be glad you not turning 35 because that's when you wake up and see that your skin is falling off in chunks, your teeth fall out, and they ship you off to a leper colony! So, here have part of the answer to 'what's the use of attractiveness?' - the fact that this hasn't happened to you yet!

So I wish to die before turning 35.
I have thought about that, too- if only decline is in store for me from now on then why to live? But let go- it can be the subject of another thread I'm not going to start for the moment. I limit myself to say that the youth and the health are the most important possessions, and if that's gone, the life isn't worth it. And no, the transcendent, altruistic goals such as love and helping others won't compensate it. I haven't lived a full life, I'm not satisfied, and if I'm to even lose my basic possessions, then I'm better not to live.

 

[Matali]

So I wish to die before turning 35.
I have thought about that, too- if only decline is in store for me from now on then why to live? But let go- it can be the subject of another thread I'm not going to start for the moment. I limit myself to say that the youth and the health are the most important possessions, and if that's gone, the life isn't worth it. And no, the transcendent, altruistic goals such as love and helping others won't compensate it. I haven't lived a full life, I'm not satisfied, and if I'm to even lose my basic possessions, then I'm better not to live.

Marybluesky, do you want to make us sad ? But let's see, you're young ! And after 35 years, you'll still be young. You who study the Yi King, you see all these phases of transformation that make our lives so exciting. You asked that question, so it is important to you. Yi's response is very positive. You are precious and your body is a gift from nature. At all ages, you have to take care of it.

Regarding your question and the answer 49 -11 that "brings the great": I find that 49 tells you that you have the strength to transform yourself, not to remain with both feet in the same hoof... From my point of view, it is accepting this attractiveness that is in you, changing your point of view in the sense that being attractive is a good thing. It is also about agreeing to attract people. When you say that you are attracted to men who are with other women, not to men who want to seduce you, why not give the chance to the next one? (Just a hypothesis).
Full of solidarity because I am a woman and I understand you

 

[Freedda]

... health are the most important possessions, and if that's gone, the life isn't worth it.

This might be so, however ....

I just had a video visit with my doctor and he said my labs are good, and he ended with 'just keep doing what you're doing' - so even though I'm an old geezer and will continue to be more so with each day, I'm doing something right! I.e. age and getting older does not always equate to decline and heck, even us ugly, old, +35 people can be/stay healthy, and find meaning and true love.

 

[bologna_tendra]

Some thoughts: 49.2 refers to revolution, this is the perhaps the cycle of life, beauty leads to pregnancy, birth, a new generation. 49.4 is saying in the Wilhelm analysis that revolution must be founded on inner truth. The poet John Keats said that truth is beauty and beauty truth - some may disagree though it's a possibility. Perhaps 49.4 is saying this great generation or birth or revolution can only be born out of this beauty - without this physical beauty later it's not possible. 49.5 perhaps is saying the purpose is to be visible, to be bright, to be distinctive. The context of hex 11 in the Wilhelm talks about heaven on earth and peace - this is young beautiful lovers, perhaps in the context of your question?

I like Carl Jung's ideas about the morning and the afternoon of life. He says until 35 is the morning - we are more outward focused - on sexual congress, on spreading out in the world etc. 35-40 is when a transition and shift takes place inside people often, based on his experience as a psychologist running a practice for 50 years. Then in the afternoon of life (40 onwards), people are more inward focused in his experience, more spiritually interested, having reaped the physical harvest in the morning. He saw that some people didn't do in the morning what they ought to have, and then they tried to do it in the afternoon, and ran into psychological misfortune.

You talk of how you don't wish to decline, but you won't decline if you are part of a chain - your physical beauty is regenerated in another girl, or a boy, or both, and so perhaps it's saying the true use of your attractiveness is yo be a mother to beautiful children.

 

[becalm]

Also I'm 60 and like becalm plenty of people still tell me I'm an attractive woman so either they are after our money (i don't have any) or well you know we've still got what it takes

Hahahahahaha It's definitely the latter!!!! As an 'older' woman I can appreciate my beauty more but as someone that's never been vain it's neither here nor there!!

 

[becalm]

So I wish to die before turning 35.
I have thought about that, too- if only decline is in store for me from now on then why to live? But let go- it can be the subject of another thread I'm not going to start for the moment. I limit myself to say that the youth and the health are the most important possessions, and if that's gone, the life isn't worth it. And no, the transcendent, altruistic goals such as love and helping others won't compensate it. I haven't lived a full life, I'm not satisfied, and if I'm to even lose my basic possessions, then I'm better not to live.

Actually I don't agree with Freedda's take on what happens when you turn 35....tbh before I even read that I wanted to say that our' attractiveness hits it's peak in our 40's!!! I don't know enough about genetics etc. to know why but many, many people seem to just look wonderful in their 40's as well as becoming more confident on a whole lot of levels.
I've had a really 'bloody' life and many times I've wanted to die and I'm sure if you looked you'd find a few threads on here about that but now I've finally managed to sort myself out and the tender age of nearing 60 - I hope you find peace in yourself way sooner than I did.
Attractive or not most people are Beautiful in their own way....

 

[Freedda]

I don't agree with Freedda's take on what happens when you turn 35 .... before I even read that I wanted to say that our' attractiveness hits it's peak in our 40's!!!

I guess my sarcasm didn't quite come across as clearly as I meant it to. It must be that because I'm 65, I don't know how to be funny anymore - even though I'm getting more attractive by the minute! If you read my post, I am definitely not saying that that life or attractiveness ends at 35. Far from it.

I'm saying that perhaps the reading is suggesting that Ms. Bluesky 'changing one's (her) orders' or way of thinking about attractiveness and aging, and that with age, many of us 'great men and woman' transform ourselves and become more comfortable, at ease, happy, and even more attractive living in our 'tiger's furs'.

Or did I misinterpret that you are misinterpreting what I was saying?

 

[Trojina]

Good Grief I'm amazed that several people here didn't realise this was a joke !

I'd start by saying, just be glad you not turning 35 because that's when you wake up and see that your skin is falling off in chunks, your teeth fall out, and they ship you off to a leper colony! So, here have part of the answer to 'what's the use of attractiveness?' - the fact that this hasn't happened to you yet!

Come on isn't it obvious he's joking !? If English is your 2nd language I guess you might miss the humour but it's pretty obvious to me.


It's getting tiresome now 3 people missed the joke ! Really ?

Becalm surely you can see the humour ?

Is it this impossible to communicate with other people who speak english ?

It's unbelievable 3 people in this thread took it seriously ? It's incredible - how can you not see that as a joke ?

 

[Freedda]

Come on isn't it obvious he's joking !?

Obvious to me and you, but than again, things don't always come across online as the do in person (or how I see them in my mind), so hence my clarification. All is now well in Clarity Land.

 

[becalm]

Obvious to me and you, but than again, things don't always come across online as the do in person (or how I see them in my mind), so hence my clarification. All is now well in Clarity Land.

This is true and whilst I haven't read everything you've posted on Clarity I've always thought you to be a very serious sort of person but also my bad for not reading the whole thing - I sort of just skimmed through it as I was making preparations for my day ahead!!!

 

[marybluesky]

Oh Trojina and David;

I know that our teeth aren't meant to fall at 35
But the question of decline is serious for me. The attractiveness is only part of that. Health, physical force, time and energy are more important elements.
At 30 I am more happy than I was in 22. Why? Because I have more power, can live a life much more similar to what I want (although it's far from perfect), even am more attractive as I was baby faced and people took me for a high-school girl in my senior year. I consider myself at my peak now.
But what about 10 years later?

 

[Freedda]

At 30 I am more happy than I was in 22. But what about 10 years later?

Ms. Bluesky: I and others have responded to your reading. I removed my attempt at humor - my comment about turning 35 - because it seems like a distraction. You are free to read my actual response, which is still there and directly addresses your question.

But I'm baffled by what you're telling us, and I get the sense that you're not really looking at we have shared. And it seems to me that you've already answered your own question: you are happier now then you were 8 years ago; so what's to stop you from being more happy and content in 10 years, when you turn 40?

If you are seriously depressed about this issue or about your life, I am sorry to hear that, but I'm not really in a position to do much more than I have. Maybe you might consider talking to someone with skills in that area - a counselor or therapist - and perhaps it would be more beneficial than what I have offered.

Kind regards ....

 

[marybluesky]

David;

I have read all the responses & thought about them. Maybe I can't "sense' what you mean at this stage of my life, but it doesn't mean not taking your answers seriousely. I just don't know what to say.

Sorry if you felt like I don't care.

I'm not depressed at this moment but concerned.

While it is always beneficial to read the others' points of view on this forum, I may indeed need to see a counselor.

That said, this type of questions have been almost always with me regardless of my moods and level of happiness. Not everybody relates to that, it's natural

 

[Freedda]

Sorry if you felt like I don't care. I'm not depressed at this moment but concerned.

It's not so much that I was thinking that you don't care about what I wrote, but that you seem to have gotten stuck on the 'turning 35' stuff only - and may you passed over my actual response. 'Turning 35' is what you focused on in your responses, and I am trying to point you to my actual response, and not my sarcastic comment - now removed.

And of course you are free to view my comments, and make use of them or not. I certainly have no corner on the 'wisdom' market - it's just my interpretation of your reading.

I'll only add that you seem to be creating a 'reality' ten years down the road that hasn't happened yet! And in fact, I don't see your dire vision of the future at all in your reading! But I do see that you have the opportunity of 'changing one's orders' about what others have told you 'attractiveness' means - and which you have internalized. But that's a choice you have to make.

You really have no any idea how things will turn out. And being 65, I think you are making some pretty fanciful and unreal assumptions: that it's all down hill from now on! That has not been my reality at all.

All the best ....

 

[radiofreewill]

“What’s the use of attractiveness for me?”
49.2.4.5 to 11 ~ Let inner beauty revolutionize you.

From the WB:

49 Revolution.

On your own day​

You are believed.​

Supreme success,​

Furthering through perseverance.​

Remorse disappears.​

‘On your own day’ means the day that you decide that you are the Sovereign over your own awareness, as opposed to external conditions?

Line 2:

When one’s own day comes, one may create revolution.​

Starting brings good fortune.​

No blame.​

As the Sovereign over your own awareness, you have the power to ‘turnaround’ and look inward. The sooner you start, the better? Everyone should do this?

Line 4:

Remorse disappears. Men and women believe her.​

Changing the form of government brings good fortune.​

Ruling as the Sovereign over your own awareness is much better than being ruled over by your circumstances.

Line 5:

The great woman changes like a tiger.​

Even before she questions the oracle.​

She is believed.​

When a woman asserts her inner Sovereignty, she becomes great like a Tiger, the fierce and beautiful embodiment of yin energy, which everyone wants to see?

So, assert your Sovereignty, turnaround, and let purr-fect attractiveness (11) attend to you.

I hope this helps!

 

[rosada]

"It's a survival of the fittest thing. Kids your age are so incredibly stupid that if they weren't so cute they'd be drowned at birth. The cuter they are the dumber they are. But with your looks I bet you're brilliant." My 15 year old boy cousin explaining why I didn't need to wear lipstick at 12.

 

[rosada]

Re-read my comment. I'm just sharing something my cousin said to me years ago that I've remembered ever since - it was the sort of jerky thing boys said to girls back then if there weren't any frogs they could slip down your back.

 

[Freedda]

Re-read my comment.

Okay, I see now what you're saying. I didn't get that at first: it is a stupid and shallow comment, but not yours!

Sorry and apologies, and my stupid comment / criticism is now deleted.

 

[becalm]

"It's a survival of the fittest thing. Kids your age are so incredibly stupid that if they weren't so cute they'd be drowned at birth. The cuter they are the dumber they are. But with your looks I bet you're brilliant." My 15 year old boy cousin explaining why I didn't need to wear lipstick at 12.

Stupid boys!!!

 

[Matali]

Some thoughts: 49.2 refers to revolution, this is the perhaps the cycle of life, beauty leads to pregnancy, birth, a new generation. 49.4 is saying in the Wilhelm analysis that revolution must be founded on inner truth. The poet John Keats said that truth is beauty and beauty truth - some may disagree though it's a possibility. Perhaps 49.4 is saying this great generation or birth or revolution can only be born out of this beauty - without this physical beauty later it's not possible. 49.5 perhaps is saying the purpose is to be visible, to be bright, to be distinctive. The context of hex 11 in the Wilhelm talks about heaven on earth and peace - this is young beautiful lovers, perhaps in the context of your question?

I like Carl Jung's ideas about the morning and the afternoon of life. He says until 35 is the morning - we are more outward focused - on sexual congress, on spreading out in the world etc. 35-40 is when a transition and shift takes place inside people often, based on his experience as a psychologist running a practice for 50 years. Then in the afternoon of life (40 onwards), people are more inward focused in his experience, more spiritually interested, having reaped the physical harvest in the morning. He saw that some people didn't do in the morning what they ought to have, and then they tried to do it in the afternoon, and ran into psychological misfortune.

You talk of how you don't wish to decline, but you won't decline if you are part of a chain - your physical beauty is regenerated in another girl, or a boy, or both, and so perhaps it's saying the true use of your attractiveness is yo be a mother to beautiful children.

John Keats