When will I find love? Hex 27.4.5.6

[star123]

I asked iching when will I find love and I got hex 27.4.5.6 to hex 17. Anyone could tell me what iching is trying to say? Is the answer another disappointment? Or telling me to work on myself again? Any comments are appreciated!

 

[chingching]

well there is a problem for me with questions asking when because I do not know how to read time frames in yi readings.

27 shows up so often in question like these, because it is about fulfilling a basic human need. Yi is taking a hard line here, I think the reading says when you can feed yourself as the sage does, when the source of nourishment comes from within, that's when.

It seems unfair when many people have coupled up before they became full humans beings, and some people never reach that kind of level in their life time. But it must be the kind of love you, yourself are looking for. The kind that doesn't feed off another to exist but is given freely and not wanting. Its the dream of gen x and onwards and due to the influence of the great divorce era. Its in our cultural genes now that relationships, in the ideal , need to be equal (as much as is possible) and each person needs to own their own 'stuff' etc. Its like the great dream of the 50's was the have a house with all the appliances and 3 kids etc. after the war time scarcity. Now everyone wants a great relationship with their great love, to find and choose them themselves. There is a lot more pressure to get it right, and there are a lot more choices, our communities are more diverse and dispersed. Anyway meandering thoughts.

27 > 17, follow the way to nourishment, to your needs fulfilment by
line 4 go get em tiger, go for what you want, pounce (one of the only lines I know of that encourages aggressive behaviour). if you have one chance to get what you need then you need to go get it, this is how to survive.

line 5
but in this line you don't eat just anything, this is a line of discernment, so looking back at line 4 in light of line 5 maybe go on some dates do something to fulfil your needs, but don't settle for anything, or even the standard its not good to cross the river that way

line 6
the source is in you, you are the source of nourishment. I guess in this context it might also be saying: when you are love, you have love. From experience getting into this kind of state isn't a matter of loving yourself, by drawing your own attention to things you appreciate about yourself.. that isn't bad, but to be the source from inside you kind of have to let go of self, you breath out self and you breath in love. when you are full of self and self desire you will feel the emptiness gnawing at you, when you fill up with the love and energy that always exists in all moments you are as big and full as the universe.



edited to add:

I forgot to address hex 17 really, sort of did but it does explicity show the image of an older man an younger girl, makes me wonder if you have an older admirer and that he might be chasing after you?

The trigram Tui, the Joyous, whose attribute is gladness, is above; Chên, the
Arousing, which has the attribute of movement, is below. Joy in movement
induces following. The Joyous is the youngest daughter, while the Arousing
is the eldest son. An older man defers to a young girl and shows her
consideration. By this he moves her to follow him.

but I dont see that as much, in general I find the image of the relating hex to vbe very important and here, similar to line 5 of 27, it advises going indoors and resting at night time...its not a time to push and push this agenda, you have to go with the natural flow of things

 

[star123]

chingching, thank you for writing me such a detailed interpretation. I was trying to learn how to love myself. I spent more time with my friends and family since my breakup, and I started to develop some hobbies...but as a heartbroken person, it's so energy draining to try to be back track.

As for your question about older admirer. I didn't really pay attention to it...but I know some of the guys showed interests are mostly order than me. Some are old enough to be father (if that's what iching is referring to as older man). So it's not ideal for love relationship.

well there is a problem for me with questions asking when because I do not know how to read time frames in yi readings.

27 shows up so often in question like these, because it is about fulfilling a basic human need. Yi is taking a hard line here, I think the reading says when you can feed yourself as the sage does, when the source of nourishment comes from within, that's when.

It seems unfair when many people have coupled up before they became full humans beings, and some people never reach that kind of level in their life time. But it must be the kind of love you, yourself are looking for. The kind that doesn't feed off another to exist but is given freely and not wanting. Its the dream of gen x and onwards and due to the influence of the great divorce era. Its in our cultural genes now that relationships, in the ideal , need to be equal (as much as is possible) and each person needs to own their own 'stuff' etc. Its like the great dream of the 50's was the have a house with all the appliances and 3 kids etc. after the war time scarcity. Now everyone wants a great relationship with their great love, to find and choose them themselves. There is a lot more pressure to get it right, and there are a lot more choices, our communities are more diverse and dispersed. Anyway meandering thoughts.

27 > 17, follow the way to nourishment, to your needs fulfilment by
line 4 go get em tiger, go for what you want, pounce (one of the only lines I know of that encourages aggressive behaviour). if you have one chance to get what you need then you need to go get it, this is how to survive.

line 5
but in this line you don't eat just anything, this is a line of discernment, so looking back at line 4 in light of line 5 maybe go on some dates do something to fulfil your needs, but don't settle for anything, or even the standard its not good to cross the river that way

line 6
the source is in you, you are the source of nourishment. I guess in this context it might also be saying: when you are love, you have love. From experience getting into this kind of state isn't a matter of loving yourself, by drawing your own attention to things you appreciate about yourself.. that isn't bad, but to be the source from inside you kind of have to let go of self, you breath out self and you breath in love. when you are full of self and self desire you will feel the emptiness gnawing at you, when you fill up with the love and energy that always exists in all moments you are as big and full as the universe.



edited to add:

I forgot to address hex 17 really, sort of did but it does explicity show the image of an older man an younger girl, makes me wonder if you have an older admirer and that he might be chasing after you?



but I dont see that as much, in general I find the image of the relating hex to vbe very important and here, similar to line 5 of 27, it advises going indoors and resting at night time...its not a time to push and push this agenda, you have to go with the natural flow of things

 

[chingching]

Your feeling about the older guys then is echoed in line 5, not to eat any food just because it has been put in front you, instead eat the food that will nourish you

 

[star123]

chingching, actually my action kinda echoing line 4. I signed some dating sites and went to as much event as possible to try to meet someone. Despite all the efforts, I still haven't met anyone that's close enough to have a relationship with. That's why I asked iching this question. On the other hand, my heart feels empty without a person I can truly share my love with.

So chingching, do you think iching says anything about I will meet someone or not?

Your feeling about the older guys then is echoed in line 5, not to eat any food just because it has been put in front you, instead eat the food that will nourish you

 

[chingching]

well like I said at first, I think its saying when you are ready, when you don't feel that incompleteness because the food you seek is coming from within yourself-something that is easy to say but hard to do. Go read up on hex 17 its about following but also how to get someone to follow you, to go with your flow.

also 27 >17 gives me an image of someone researching, following a subject that feeds them then as the hunger grows, you research more deeply and eventually you are the source of information. Start finding things that nourish you enough to not be stuck in a loop of focussing on the not having of someone. If you into law of attraction you'll know that focus on what you don't have will just attract the not having.

 

[star123]

If you into law of attraction you'll know that focus on what you don't have will just attract the not having.

Thank you. Just have some opinion about this whole law of attraction thing. I watched 'the secret' and I used to focus on thinking being married to my ex one day. However, as you can see, the result didn't come and it is exactly the opposite.

 

[Lavalamp]

"when will I find love?"

27.4.
There is nothing wrong with desiring someone to love strongly, you can serve the Universe better when you have a partner, we're meant to do that, it's not bad and it's not lust. Don't feel conflicted about this desire.

27.5
Sometimes our ability to be public people is damaged by not being in a good relationship, and we need to rely on our connections with our Elders/Counselors etc. to maintain our stability to move forward. At such times, we shouldn't undertake great public burdens - I imagine an example of such a thing might be say, running for President or something like that, example people need to have good relationships to be role models and have people trust/support them in their major duties.

27.6
When you take care of other people, feed their inner needs, you shed these dependencies and shine as a light in all you do. You have within yourself the potential to do great things for mankind, and happiness to a lot of people.

Changing to hex 17.
Serve others, be flexible but always do the right thing. Don't push excessively, take it easy on yourself. Growth takes time.

 

[chingching]

Thank you. Just have some opinion about this whole law of attraction thing. I watched 'the secret' and I used to focus on thinking being married to my ex one day. However, as you can see, the result didn't come and it is exactly the opposite.

law of attraction is more about focussing on commitment and love and then those things will come into your life.

as for the secret, never watched it never read it, don't know anything about that.

My experience with law of attraction goes more like this, I start thinking about an argument I want to have with someone, you know telling them what I really think and literally my dog will start jumping up on me and start biting my hand. I used to tell her off but when I realised she was doing it every time I was thinking about unpleasant things I changed tack and simply would stop my thoughts, and my dog would immediately response by sitting.

I think about calming things and my dog walks calmly beside me. But I must add its not merely a disconnected thought but rather, a state of mind.

 

[Lavalamp]

Interesting, in the dream analysis work I did as a kid, dogs often represented my unconscious mind's anti-cathexes.

 

[Lavalamp]

Well - I think there is a problem with viewing relationships exclusively through the prism of attraction. There is a more fundamental law at work in the universe, motivation. When performers get up on the stage in front of an audience, they can be there to give heart and love to the audience - or to take their love, money and admiration from them. And consider, often the time people find their "destined partner" - for lack of a better term - is when they are ok with being alone, when they feel whole and sane but aren't really focused on seeking a partner, and then something happens unexpectedly. "One meets their soulmate in a narrow street." "Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans." etc. Sometimes I think focusing on the idea of "laws of attraction" can be confusing for people that are trying to get their **** together. I think maybe we have to attract the "Universal other" internally first - and then the "Personal other" appears. And this happens by living for the sake of others.

 

[sooo]

I think when we are young, meaning early teens, and are embedded within social groups of our own gender, we are most likely to compete for members of the opposite sexual groups. It is at this time when some people seem to easily, quickly and naturally 'hook up' with sexual partners, get married, usually propagate the species, and generally live life with some (hopefully) compatible other.

However, if this group socialization is missed, or hasn't worked out compatibly in the past, we transmute into psychologically Hermaphrodite beings, and the growth of opposites becomes primarily internalized. At this stage the search of compatibility becomes an inward seeking of those attributes we, during our early flowering, had sought in clusters of competitive potential mates. Even among those who have succeeded in coupling during the competitive mating season there may be this deeper search for uniting with our inner opposite. This sometimes creates jealousy and insecurity within the earlier chosen physical mate, when the individual seeks to, figuratively, seek to mate with their inner opposite, leading to various forms of oppression. In advanced intellects, this may be recognized for what it is, and be encouraged by the secure and matured physical mate. But if the individual has missed the initial mating season, and longs for the inner union, they may unknowingly repel those who seek that other person of the opposite sex to fulfill that missing union. This is the case for many who are not mated but still seek the instinctive union with the opposite sex. They are faced with a more complex problem of finding not only someone compatible with their primary competitive mating, but that other person must also satisfy the further matured need to mate with themselves. Consequently there are many self union seekers who don't understand why they have such difficulty finding their "soul mate", because by that time their soul mate is realized to exist within themselves. There are those matured individual who, once becoming self actualized and united with their inner opposite may find another who has also gone through this inner metamorphosis, and they may find and be able to enjoy the union of two completed and mature individuals. I think it is this which many developed personalities are seeking. Since women mentally and emotionally mature generally faster than men, a woman can more often find this kind of matured compatibility with a mature man (h17), a man who has grown out of his early competitive, insecure nature, who can accept and appreciate a more fully developed and blossomed woman, though the sheer odds of this are dramatically reduced from those early years of competitive mating rituals. In some cases the search turns from a compatible man to another compatible woman, who understands this comprehensive cycle, and they manage to live in union and compatibility. While this may be frustrating to those who have not yet mated with themselves, it appears to me to be the dilemma our species is faced with nonetheless. I believe this plainly reflects these circumstances in the answers received by the oracle, for those who are in-between these psychological needs and resulting mating cycles. A blossomed or blossoming woman requires a mature man, or in some cases another blossomed woman.

 

[chingching]

I love the anthropological analysis, I read it in my head with the voice of david attenborough.

This is something I have been thinking just recently actually, it was great to read it in a well-thought out post. I find I come across older men who I feel and know are still at different stage of, well what jung calls individuation.

I guess the relationship of the older man and younger woman in 17 , because 17 is 'flow' amongst other words, gives me the sense of the man being the one who takes the woman, not a mutuality. I guess because in 31 affect and affection is reciprocal I find that to be more in line with meeting someone at the same growth stage (and for me I think of the lovers card and how that represents choice and choosing.)

17, IMO & IME (experience , I write it so much I thought I set a precedent for the term so wont have to write it all out from now on.) has been me going with someone more experienced or entering a bigger flow of events than I'm generating myself or am currently involved in.

but I love your analysis bruce because it adress ...or explains... 27 line 6 so well.

In alchemy terms the one person and their own pysche is the alembic instead of the relationship.

But I'll add, as a long time self developing single person... don't forget about friendships, work colleague and casual acquaintances.. these are all still relationships and I have experienced very powerful interactions with all them, sometimes even someone as remote as a shopkeeper. Where ever a human is they are in relationship to something, a person or the book of changes, or a nearby tree. I could easily see myself getting jealous over a tree and all the birds that come to visit it.

 

[sooo]

27.6 indeed. Hadn't thought of it in this case, but yes, the mature person can find themselves on the menu as the main course. Also love the alembic association.

When I wrote this during my mid-night ramble, I deliberately avoided the anima/animus Jungian terminology, mainly just to see if I could express the ideas at all without them.

It's important that you bring in the relationships of friends, not as merely a surrogate but as figurative marriage. Likewise, I wanted to add that the woman/woman relation, I alluded to at the end, does not necessarily imply an actual sexual relationship, but rather one of compatibly between different personalities. Have to chuckle at being jealous of a tree, but I do see your point. I think this is analogous to the Sage, whose love and lover includes all sentient beings.

 

[star123]

I missed out these great discussions. Bruce's analysis is very insightful. I read it a couple times. I recently find out it's very helpful if you are surrounding by mature people. They influence your way of thinking, which will also influence your behaviors.

 

[answeredquestions]

Where is Bruce?... I miss him

 

[yeshe]

chingching, I asked a question unrelated to love and relationships today and received 27>17. Your response to star123 is really helpful to me, so thank you.