When your father is your worst enemy..

[Mayorka]

I don't know how to begin my post.
I am a person who grew up with very toxic parents. For my father it's a shame when you show love at your children.
During my life I have given my worst battles with my toxic, selfish, arrogant strict and domineering father. I am almost 40 years old and I can't accept this kind of behaviour anymore. I am not his only child who feel the same. My sister left him years ago.
Today, we had a big fight and I heard all the worst words from his mouth, not even my worst enemy could say.
He is the owner of the business I manage, he even asked me to resign and give him all the money. I have one more business that I own but he still wants the upper hand.
What should I do?
47.2.3>31
What do you mean?
33.6>31
How our relationship will evolve?
23.3>52
How my life will evolve?
50.2.6>62
What should I do towards him?
52.3.5>20
Will it be better for me to resign and move far away of him?
42.1>20

I think the best move is just to leave as my sister did but my job is my entire life.

I don't know what to do but I feel hopeless and desperate.

 

[Trojina]

These are very clear answers.

47.2.3>31 you stay in the hope things will change. Maybe not consciously but we don't give up looking for love from our parents easily

33.6 well withdraw from him

23.3 It's a good thing to separate

50.2.6 His negative emotions at your withdrawal won't affect you, you can make a better life

52.3.5 you need a little time to find the right words but they will come

42.1 yes get clear of him

I haven't looked at the relating hexagrams as don't have time but those are my impressions.

Maybe when there is more distance between you a better relationship can develop but right now it does look very much like you are being advised to withdraw from him.

 

[marybluesky]

Sorry to hear that. Dealing with parents is difficult for every adult to some degree. Your joint business complicates the thing in my view.

What should I do?47.2.3>31
You've deprived yourself from the feast outside, while you won't find what you seek here. Be open to other influences.

What do you mean?33.6>31
Retreat from your father- and situations that tie you- and be open to other influences.

How our relationship will evolve? 23.3>52
You will separate ways without regret.

How my life will evolve?50.2.6>62
Your father won't be able to harm you anymore & you'll continue your life in a very good shape.

What should I do towards him? 52.3.5>20
You should control yourself which of course damages your heart (mind? self-confidence?) & be cautious of your words.

Will it be better for me to resign and move far away of him? 42.1>20
Of course! It's the great beginning, very fortunate.

 

[Mayorka]

Trojina and Marybluesky thank you so much for your interpretations.
I see that it could be better for me to leave him. Iching is clear... But I love my work. I have spent 10 years of my life trying to improve it.. Finally this year I increased my profit more than any other year before. I am so proud of myself and the woman I have become. I don't want to resign. I have one more business and I can't just give up. I must think very carefully and cleverly.

I am not sure that this cast is auspicious. Actually, I am very worried. My interpretation:
How my life will evolve?
50.2.6>62
50.2 The caldron has a very nice food (money) and my enemies are envious but they cannot harm me. Even my father envies me... I can't believe the words I heard.
50.6 the caldron is still beautiful but it hasn't got food (no money).
62 "The superior man, in accordance with this, in his conduct exceeds in humility, in mourning exceeds in sorrow, and in his expenditure exceeds in economy."
The hexagram shows sorrow and financial problems or lack of money.

 

[Mayorka]

Perhaps I should bargain my own business with his... I care about his business more than mine...

 

[diamant]

I am not sure that this cast is auspicious. Actually, I am very worried. My interpretation:
How my life will evolve?
50.2.6 > 62

I agree with you, this is not a very auspicious reading. If you completely remove yourself from his business, you will avoid harm, but you'll have to make-do with very little money (62).

What should I do? 47.2.3 > 31
If you continue to work for 'him' so to speak, he will at some point ruin the whole business, and you'll be affected too. So it's a bit of damned if you do and damned if you don't. I'm sorry to say this... it's really bad luck to be born to such parents.

How our relationship will evolve? 23.3 > 52
It's not going anywhere nice I'm afraid.

What should I do towards him? 52.3.5 > 20
Even though your heart is breaking, keep silent and look up to him. Strange advice, but that's how this sounds to me.

Will it be better for me to resign and move far away of him? 42.1 > 20
You'll have to start your career from scratch, at a lowly position.

 

[rosada]

47.2.3 describes being in a situation where you are without influence and you are not given support.
31. describes a small opening in the top of a mountain but rock hard granite below. Like you are open a little but you have boundaries.
So it seems the I Ching is advising you to allow him only a small opening but you don't really let him in, you don't let him get to you as you 47.2 can't change him, can't influence him and 47.3 he gives you nothing.
As you are not ready to throw in the towel and quit, I see this as meaning you must limit the time and importance you give to him and his opinions.

I think this is backed up by the answer you received for how to be towards him - 52. Silent and 20. Watchful. Don't confide in him, don't ask for any advice or input, don't debate or argue. If he starts going off on you don't engage, just observe.

Better to resign and move? 42.1 - 20 suggests to me that you should first only THINK about resigning and moving far away. Look and see if a better situation is indeed available. Then even if you decide to stay it will be because you choose to, not because you're trapped and that feeling of knowing you can leave anytime can be a great help psychologically when you have to talk with this man.

50.2.6 promises you can have a wonderful life even if your enemies are jealous. 50.6 encourages you to enjoy the life you have.
62. Doesn't necessarily mean money problems. It comes at almost the end of the I Ching and means it's important before going further to take care of details, pay your just bills and write thank you notes, complete obligations then extend yourself but don't extend yourself beyond what is reasonable. Basically I think you are being told you can have a good life if you are clear about your boundaries.

Right now there is quite a line up of planets suggesting endings of old ways and new patterns becoming obvious in January, so if you are thinking this is going to go on forever if you don't stop it now, take heart that this planets suggest this is a climax we're at now and solutions and new paths appear in a couple of months. Don't do anything rash!

 

[marybluesky]

50.6 the caldron is still beautiful but it hasn't got food (no money).

Not containing food is one interpretation for 50.6; however all translations of this line indicate great good fortune.

 

[Trojina]

I never heard of any translation say anything like 50.6 meant no money. It doesn't say that at all.

 

[Trojina]

Trojina and Marybluesky thank you so much for your interpretations.
I see that it could be better for me to leave him. Iching is clear... But I love my work. I have spent 10 years of my life trying to improve it.. Finally this year I increased my profit more than any other year before. I am so proud of myself and the woman I have become. I don't want to resign. I have one more business and I can't just give up. I must think very carefully and cleverly.

I am not sure that this cast is auspicious. Actually, I am very worried. My interpretation:
How my life will evolve?
50.2.6>62
50.2 The caldron has a very nice food (money) and my enemies are envious but they cannot harm me. Even my father envies me... I can't believe the words I heard.
50.6 the caldron is still beautiful but it hasn't got food (no money).
62 "The superior man, in accordance with this, in his conduct exceeds in humility, in mourning exceeds in sorrow, and in his expenditure exceeds in economy."
The hexagram shows sorrow and financial problems or lack of money.

I think you're way off with this interpretation. One can't just say 62 means 'sorrow and financial problems', 62 is so much more than this here, a reading is much more than this and this reading is certainly more than this !


62 is a small bird that need to fly low to carry it's message. If you read the words of Yi, the actual words, it talks about how incredibly careful one needs to be, how diligent, conscientious, overlooking no detail, just like a tiny bird crossing a big sky.

But 62 here is the relating hexagram, it's what surrounds the question, your position, where you are with what is happening in the primary.

So let's go back to this question as it is a tragedy if you misunderstand what this answer is saying

How my life will evolve?
50.2.6>62

First the change patterns are are 4 and 49. You are coming at this from a position of 'not knowing' (4). You can't expect to know how your life will evolve at this point it is a case of living it. The yin pattern is 49, transformation.

One doesn't need to use change patterns in any kind of predictive way, they often just show what the factors are that bought you to ask. However it is interesting here that the primary hexagram and lines are also to do with transformation.

It appears to me if you can find a way, through great care and planning(62)to leave him behind, you are going to have such a better hold of your life, you can remake your life (50). Your life can be truly yours, you will be more effective. Let's look at what 50.6 actually says, as you can see there is absolutely nothing about an empty pot there


'The vessel has a jade handle
Great good fortune,
Nothing that does not bring harvest.'


In the vessel there's cooking and transformation and one creates a whole new order. It follows 49, revolution doesn't it and also you got 49 as your yin pattern so you are on the cusp of a transformation of your circumstances with your father. You can do it. It might take some real careful planning, thinking ahead, thinking creatively, cutting back, but Yi is saying your life is going to be like a vessel with a beautiful jade handle. Jade is both soft and strong and the handle means the cooking pot can be moved and used. All your potential is portable, it's like founding a whole new kingdom. Your dad may not like it but there is nothing he can do about (50.2).

Maybe the idea about 62 meaning sorrow and hardship comes form the advice in the Oracle to be thrifty and cautious but I don't think that is the core major message of the answer. Yes you may have to economise in order to found your new life but that's okay because it's worth it. You have 50.6, see what Yi says, it says 'Great Good Fortune' and 'Nothing that does not bring harvest' so make plans, be ingenious. Realised I'm reading this as 'how will my life evolve if I leave' but you didn't say that. Is that what you meant ?


And there's no huge rush, you can take time to get your plan together obviously to minimise material loss and to ensure you leave in a string a position as possible. I'd think with 50.2.6 you'd have your own business unconnected to his, I really do.

What should I do towards him?
52.3.5>20

I think you can take time to consider. This may involve suppressing feelings for a while which is actually unhealthy for you but in the end you manage to deal with him in an ordered way (52.5) . Not sure exactly what you mean in this question though, whether you mean towards him emotionally or in terms of business.

Will it be better for me to resign and move far away of him?
42.1>20

Absolutely yes. I mean you have to be practical and make sure to capitalise on what you have and think it through. But yes if you had your own business unconnected to his you could blossom much more and you might even do better in business than you have been.


You have to adapt what people say here to your real circumstances of course. I know if you are really enmeshed in business together it's not easy but maybe there are ways to change how it works, to make your own empire. He doesn't have a right to abuse you and you don't need to put up with it. I very much think the spirit of the times is on your side, you are going to win this IMO whether that takes 6 months or a year or maybe quicker things can and will be changing. hence you must not give up because you think 62 means you will be poor.


You can't flourish and blossom in your own right if you have him shouting abuse at you and it's going to be so much better when you make the decision and step out by yourself.

 

[rosada]

Do you get Netflix? Check out the stand-up comic "Neal Brannan, 3 Mics". He starts out slow, mildly amusing and then launches into just telling his story of growing up with an abusive father. I wont say anything more but it's worth a look.

 

[redoleander]

What should I do?
47.2.3>31
Cry, feel your feelings, grieve this difficult situation and then do whatever you need to do to just make it work in the short term until you can do the next thing. Trying to change him won’t work.

What do you mean?
33.6>31
I think this is suggesting not to take major action now. This is the pause where you stay solid like a mountain and contained within yourself. It’s not about telling him or making a big move yet.

How our relationship will evolve?
23.3>52
You’re going to have to cut him out and it will be for the best. Whenever I’ve gotten this line it’s been that it really was for the best or I didn’t cut the person out and then regretted it a lot later. It could also mean he cuts you off or tries to push you out of the situation, I suppose.

How my life will evolve?
50.2.6>62
The hidden line is 56.6 and it seems to fit the situation. You’ll have to give up the whole nest eventually. You wish you could keep a piece of it but you can’t. However, there’s a lot in there that makes you suffer so this might be a case where burning the nest is auspicious, just not immediately. I know 50.6 is considered an auspicious line but I’ve received in painful circumstances where I had to give something up. To me this makes sense because it’s the transition from Vessel to Shock. You have something but it maybe need to be dissolved… becomes something more of the spirit and less tangible. Still, it’s for the best. That I do believe. 50.6 holds what’s sacred in the highest regard. In this case, that’s your own self!

What should I do towards him?
52.3.5>20
Similar to first casting; don’t stifle your feelings but don’t share them with him either. It’s like a pregnant pause to observe and determine strategic action. Find other outlets for your feelings though so you don’t have to sit in pure anxiety or anger. Don’t speak freely; choose your words and only speak when you feel like you know what you want to say. It might also mean not speaking if there’s just too much under the surface to have it be ok.

Will it be better for me to resign and move far away of him?
42.1>20
YES. This is affirming you. You can move on. I feel like this is one of the situations that’s MUCH better in the long term but painful in the short term (according to your castings above.) However, this is undoubtedly the best of the bunch. Once you take your skills elsewhere and resettle, you’ll be so much better off.

 

[Mayorka]

I agree with you, this is not a very auspicious reading. If you completely remove yourself from his business, you will avoid harm, but you'll have to make-do with very little money (62).

This is what I am feeling too..

What should I do? 47.2.3 > 31
If you continue to work for 'him' so to speak, he will at some point ruin the whole business, and you'll be affected too. So it's a bit of damned if you do and damned if you don't. I'm sorry to say this... it's really bad luck to be born to such parents.

Could you please explain the meaning of the lines? I can't understand the way you interpret the lines. Actually, I believe he could ruin his own business just to hurt me and there are a lot of ways to ruin it.

What should I do towards him? 52.3.5 > 20
Even though your heart is breaking, keep silent and look up to him. Strange advice, but that's how this sounds to me.

Absolutely what I am doing right now. Like, shut up and bear it.

Will it be better for me to resign and move far away of him? 42.1 > 20
You'll have to start your career from scratch, at a lowly position.

Interesting interpretation, this is what I am thinking... I am not ready for it.. I don't want to give up or not yet...

 

[Mayorka]

47.2.3 describes being in a situation where you are without influence and you are not given support.
31. describes a small opening in the top of a mountain but rock hard granite below. Like you are open a little but you have boundaries.
So it seems the I Ching is advising you to allow him only a small opening but you don't really let him in, you don't let him get to you as you 47.2 can't change him, can't influence him and 47.3 he gives you nothing.
As you are not ready to throw in the towel and quit, I see this as meaning you must limit the time and importance you give to him and his opinions.

I think this is backed up by the answer you received for how to be towards him - 52. Silent and 20. Watchful. Don't confide in him, don't ask for any advice or input, don't debate or argue. If he starts going off on you don't engage, just observe.

Better to resign and move? 42.1 - 20 suggests to me that you should first only THINK about resigning and moving far away. Look and see if a better situation is indeed available. Then even if you decide to stay it will be because you choose to, not because you're trapped and that feeling of knowing you can leave anytime can be a great help psychologically when you have to talk with this man.

50.2.6 promises you can have a wonderful life even if your enemies are jealous. 50.6 encourages you to enjoy the life you have.
62. Doesn't necessarily mean money problems. It comes at almost the end of the I Ching and means it's important before going further to take care of details, pay your just bills and write thank you notes, complete obligations then extend yourself but don't extend yourself beyond what is reasonable. Basically I think you are being told you can have a good life if you are clear about your boundaries.

I don't need the support actually. I need people next to me who admire me and who are proud of me. People who appreciate me and he isn't one of them.
Thank you for your interpretations rosada, all of them show my next movements and my behaviour towards him.. I will keep my boundaries towards him.. I will stay strong and I will give myself all the respect that deserves.. I don't need his acceptance.

Right now there is quite a line up of planets suggesting endings of old ways and new patterns becoming obvious in January, so if you are thinking this is going to go on forever if you don't stop it now, take heart that this planets suggest this is a climax we're at now and solutions and new paths appear in a couple of months. Don't do anything rash!

Thank you very much for letting me know about.. I believe that solutions will appear and I need to be patient and reticent. I will follow your advice!

 

[Mayorka]

I think you're way off with this interpretation. One can't just say 62 means 'sorrow and financial problems', 62 is so much more than this here, a reading is much more than this and this reading is certainly more than this !


62 is a small bird that need to fly low to carry it's message. If you read the words of Yi, the actual words, it talks about how incredibly careful one needs to be, how diligent, conscientious, overlooking no detail, just like a tiny bird crossing a big sky.

But 62 here is the relating hexagram, it's what surrounds the question, your position, where you are with what is happening in the primary.

So let's go back to this question as it is a tragedy if you misunderstand what this answer is saying



First the change patterns are are 4 and 49. You are coming at this from a position of 'not knowing' (4). You can't expect to know how your life will evolve at this point it is a case of living it. The yin pattern is 49, transformation.

One doesn't need to use change patterns in any kind of predictive way, they often just show what the factors are that bought you to ask. However it is interesting here that the primary hexagram and lines are also to do with transformation.

It appears to me if you can find a way, through great care and planning(62)to leave him behind, you are going to have such a better hold of your life, you can remake your life (50). Your life can be truly yours, you will be more effective. Let's look at what 50.6 actually says, as you can see there is absolutely nothing about an empty pot there


'The vessel has a jade handle
Great good fortune,
Nothing that does not bring harvest.'


In the vessel there's cooking and transformation and one creates a whole new order. It follows 49, revolution doesn't it and also you got 49 as your yin pattern so you are on the cusp of a transformation of your circumstances with your father. You can do it. It might take some real careful planning, thinking ahead, thinking creatively, cutting back, but Yi is saying your life is going to be like a vessel with a beautiful jade handle. Jade is both soft and strong and the handle means the cooking pot can be moved and used. All your potential is portable, it's like founding a whole new kingdom. Your dad may not like it but there is nothing he can do about (50.2).

Maybe the idea about 62 meaning sorrow and hardship comes form the advice in the Oracle to be thrifty and cautious but I don't think that is the core major message of the answer. Yes you may have to economise in order to found your new life but that's okay because it's worth it. You have 50.6, see what Yi says, it says 'Great Good Fortune' and 'Nothing that does not bring harvest' so make plans, be ingenious. Realised I'm reading this as 'how will my life evolve if I leave' but you didn't say that. Is that what you meant ?


And there's no huge rush, you can take time to get your plan together obviously to minimise material loss and to ensure you leave in a string a position as possible. I'd think with 50.2.6 you'd have your own business unconnected to his, I really do.




I think you can take time to consider. This may involve suppressing feelings for a while which is actually unhealthy for you but in the end you manage to deal with him in an ordered way (52.5) . Not sure exactly what you mean in this question though, whether you mean towards him emotionally or in terms of business.



Absolutely yes. I mean you have to be practical and make sure to capitalise on what you have and think it through. But yes if you had your own business unconnected to his you could blossom much more and you might even do better in business than you have been.


You have to adapt what people say here to your real circumstances of course. I know if you are really enmeshed in business together it's not easy but maybe there are ways to change how it works, to make your own empire. He doesn't have a right to abuse you and you don't need to put up with it. I very much think the spirit of the times is on your side, you are going to win this IMO whether that takes 6 months or a year or maybe quicker things can and will be changing. hence you must not give up because you think 62 means you will be poor.


You can't flourish and blossom in your own right if you have him shouting abuse at you and it's going to be so much better when you make the decision and step out by yourself.

Trojina I really appreciate all the encouragement towards me.
I really trust myself that I could built an empire without him but I don't want to do anything rash. However, I love his business and I want to be mine. I will take my time to think very carefully my next steps.

 

[Mayorka]

What should I do?
47.2.3>31
Cry, feel your feelings, grieve this difficult situation and then do whatever you need to do to just make it work in the short term until you can do the next thing. Trying to change him won’t work.

What do you mean?
33.6>31
I think this is suggesting not to take major action now. This is the pause where you stay solid like a mountain and contained within yourself. It’s not about telling him or making a big move yet.

How our relationship will evolve?
23.3>52
You’re going to have to cut him out and it will be for the best. Whenever I’ve gotten this line it’s been that it really was for the best or I didn’t cut the person out and then regretted it a lot later. It could also mean he cuts you off or tries to push you out of the situation, I suppose.

Will it be better for me to resign and move far away of him?
42.1>20
YES. This is affirming you. You can move on. I feel like this is one of the situations that’s MUCH better in the long term but painful in the short term (according to your castings above.) However, this is undoubtedly the best of the bunch. Once you take your skills elsewhere and resettle, you’ll be so much better off.

I am absolutely sure that my father is not going to change. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
I will just be patient until I decide. Sooner or later I know that I have to cut him out and limit his evolvement in my life.

How my life will evolve?
50.2.6>62
The hidden line is 56.6 and it seems to fit the situation. You’ll have to give up the whole nest eventually. You wish you could keep a piece of it but you can’t. However, there’s a lot in there that makes you suffer so this might be a case where burning the nest is auspicious, just not immediately. I know 50.6 is considered an auspicious line but I’ve received in painful circumstances where I had to give something up. To me this makes sense because it’s the transition from Vessel to Shock. You have something but it maybe need to be dissolved… becomes something more of the spirit and less tangible. Still, it’s for the best. That I do believe. 50.6 holds what’s sacred in the highest regard. In this case, that’s your own self!

I guess the time will come when I can't stand his selfishness anymore.
It would be a big pain for me to sacrifice my cow (my job). I guess if I do it means that I have no other option.

 

[Mayorka]

I was curious and I asked how he feels after his bad behaviour towards me:

12.5 > 35
He feels that the situation is very bad and he thinks of finding a way to reconcile with me?
Just for his personal benefit of course. He doesn't care about my happiness.

 

[diamant]

What should I do? 47.2.3 > 31
If you continue to work for 'him' so to speak, he will at some point ruin the whole business, and you'll be affected too. So it's a bit of damned if you do and damned if you don't. I'm sorry to say this... it's really bad luck to be born to such parents.
Could you please explain the meaning of the lines? I can't understand the way you interpret the lines. Actually, I believe he could ruin his own business just to hurt me and there are a lot of ways to ruin it.

47.2 describes someone in an inferior position; you have 'food and drink', but you have to placate with authority (your father), and you cannot 'attack' him.
47.3 shows a bully (mentioned in the Xiang Zhuan text) who relies on weird things (rocks and thorns), and thus ruins their home and family.

how he feels after his bad behaviour towards me
12.5 > 35
He feels highly threatened, and feels that he needs to tell the story to numerous people (especially people who can give him gifts).

 

[Mayorka]

47.2 describes someone in an inferior position; you have 'food and drink', but you have to placate with authority (your father), and you cannot 'attack' him.
47.3 shows a bully (mentioned in the Xiang Zhuan text) who relies on weird things (rocks and thorns), and thus ruins their home and family.

No, I cannot attack him, he is the owner of the business. He can attack me easily when he uses threats.
I would say that the weird things could be his own threats his toxic behaviour, but if he loses his 'wife' will be the worst misfortune for him... Perhaps I will have to begin my life from the scratch but it will be a great loss for him.

how he feels after his bad behaviour towards me
12.5 > 35
He feels highly threatened, and feels that he needs to tell the story to numerous people (especially people who can give him gifts).

Diamant you are spot on! He feels threatened I know.. He hasn't got any more the upper hand and he feels inferior but also sees me like his rival. My father is exactly the person who talks everywhere about his personal problems and he blames me. I am sure he already did. I don't care at all, there are people who really appreciate me and there are people who know very well what a toxic person he is.

 

[Trojina]

It's important to remember isn't it that the 47 answer was not about him.

The 47.2.3 isn't about him but about you looking for solace where there is none in line 3

You asked

What should I do?
47.2.3>31

So there is no good reason anyone would read these lines as describing him.

He's bound to feel threatened, you don't need a reading to tell you that but I wouldn't say it was in 12.5 particularly.

12.5 says

'Resting in obstruction.
Great person, good fortune.
It is lost, it is lost!
Tie it to the bushy mulberry tree.'

He's likely to feel threatened I imagine but it's not very much there in the line. This line describes someone trying to consolidate new growth. It may describe you rather than him, thinking you might lose, holding on. Or maybe he will try to hold on to you by making more offerings.

 

[redoleander]

I was curious and I asked how he feels after his bad behaviour towards me:

12.5 > 35
He feels that the situation is very bad and he thinks of finding a way to reconcile with me?
Just for his personal benefit of course. He doesn't care about my happiness.

I think this line might be speaking to you saying that there isn’t much of substance in thinking about how he feels. Maybe in the past it was necessary but now it’s about letting this dependency take its natural death, obviously at the pace you can and will. I think it’s saying let it go.

 

[rosada]

12. Standstill - 35. Progress
"I can't go any further but I don't want to lose what I have."
He doesn't know how to progress with your relationship but he does not want to lose you. He hopes the business connection you share will keep you close at hand.

 

[rosada]

Perhaps if you were to say something to him like, "Let's drop the parent/child routine and start dealing with each other as adults." He may be more comfortable in that role and come to respect and understand you as you show yourself to be a fair but strong business partner.

 

[redoleander]

I was curious and I asked how he feels after his bad behaviour towards me:

12.5 > 35
He feels that the situation is very bad and he thinks of finding a way to reconcile with me?
Just for his personal benefit of course. He doesn't care about my happiness.

This got me thinking and went back to look at some of the old readings; I think maybe this is about him just wanting to do nothing and see if it goes away. Is that his pattern? To not apologize or to expect you to fix it?

 

[Mayorka]

It's important to remember isn't it that the 47 answer was not about him.

The 47.2.3 isn't about him but about you looking for solace where there is none in line 3

You asked



So there is no good reason anyone would read these lines as describing him.

He's bound to feel threatened, you don't need a reading to tell you that but I wouldn't say it was in 12.5 particularly.

12.5 says

'Resting in obstruction.
Great person, good fortune.
It is lost, it is lost!
Tie it to the bushy mulberry tree.'

He's likely to feel threatened I imagine but it's not very much there in the line. This line describes someone trying to consolidate new growth. It may describe you rather than him, thinking you might lose, holding on. Or maybe he will try to hold on to you by making more offerings.

My father is very strict and domineering. For example, I had to fight him a lot so as to go to the university (he didn't allowed my sister)... Could you understand my father's personality?
However, after big fights I had what I wanted. He made me manager of his business after a quarrel. So perhaps he will make more 'offerings' after our last quarrel.
I am so tired of his selfish behaviour.

 

[Mayorka]

12. Standstill - 35. Progress
"I can't go any further but I don't want to lose what I have."
He doesn't know how to progress with your relationship but he does not want to lose you. He hopes the business connection you share will keep you close at hand.

I believe it, even if he doesn't admit it..

 

[Mayorka]

Perhaps if you were to say something to him like, "Let's drop the parent/child routine and start dealing with each other as adults." He may be more comfortable in that role and come to respect and understand you as you show yourself to be a fair but strong business partner.

I feel very well without talking to him right now...

 

[Mayorka]

This got me thinking and went back to look at some of the old readings; I think maybe this is about him just wanting to do nothing and see if it goes away. Is that his pattern? To not apologize or to expect you to fix it?

exactly

 

[ZeroPoint]

Trojina and Marybluesky thank you so much for your interpretations.
I see that it could be better for me to leave him. Iching is clear... But I love my work. I have spent 10 years of my life trying to improve it.. Finally this year I increased my profit more than any other year before. I am so proud of myself and the woman I have become. I don't want to resign. I have one more business and I can't just give up. I must think very carefully and cleverly.

I am not sure that this cast is auspicious. Actually, I am very worried. My interpretation:
How my life will evolve?
50.2.6>62
50.2 The caldron has a very nice food (money) and my enemies are envious but they cannot harm me. Even my father envies me... I can't believe the words I heard.
50.6 the caldron is still beautiful but it hasn't got food (no money).
62 "The superior man, in accordance with this, in his conduct exceeds in humility, in mourning exceeds in sorrow, and in his expenditure exceeds in economy."
The hexagram shows sorrow and financial problems or lack of money.

This feels like as test of your values.
What matters most?
Your independence is the ability to support yourself.

I am absolutely sure that my father is not going to change. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
I will just be patient until I decide. Sooner or later I know that I have to cut him out and limit his evolvement in my life.


I guess the time will come when I can't stand his selfishness anymore.
It would be a big pain for me to sacrifice my cow (my job). I guess if I do it means that I have no other option.

There will be other cows.
This business is not the only one.
Poverty is not permanent for the savvy and the educated.
The world is so much larger.

 

[Mayorka]

This feels like as test of your values.
What matters most?
Your independence is the ability to support yourself.


There will be other cows.
This business is not the only one.
Poverty is not permanent for the savvy and the educated.
The world is so much larger.

From all of your text, I will keep this one in my heart:

"Poverty is not permanent for the savvy and the educated.
The world is so much larger."

Thank you so much.