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Why do I feel so lost?

themulberrytree

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Hexagram 59.

What is dispersing?
Hexagram 9.1.3>59.

Been trying to stop being so critical of myself, which has involved lifting limitations, but don't know whether it's referring to the criticism or the lifting of limitations.
 

pocossin

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Why do I feel so lost?
Hexagram 59.


You are separated from the cycle of life.


What is dispersing?
Hexagram 9.1.3>59.


Technically, dispersing is the separation of spirit (shen) and ghost (gui: vital force). There are things you do better than anyone else in the world. You are where you are, and no one else is around to do them. The only just self criticism is that you are not enough yourself.
 

themulberrytree

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I can lift the physical limitations while maintaining the mental attitude of criticism. "I will allow myself to eat this chocolate bar, BUT I am being unhealthy for myself and that's bad." I thought of your comment myself when I was writing, but wrote down what I could make sense of. Thank you for prompting my review of what I meant.
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pocossin, if you could share with me how one thanks a post, I would be very grateful.
Furthermore, thank you for your interpretation. I very much connected with your "You are separated from the cycle of life" on a "Holy ****, that's right!" level.
I enjoyed your technical differentiation between shen and gui, but do not understand what they mean for human life or how they are supposed to relate to each other. What I actually meant by, "What is dispersing?" was "What is dispersing in my life?" but I think understanding the technical differentiation will answer that. Any explanation would be lovely.
 

pocossin

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if you could share with me how one thanks a post
I am already thanked, but you will get the 'thanks button', one of the mysteries of Clarity, after you have made about eleven posts. If you are overweight, don't beat up on yourself. It's a trend of the times. Just look around. Every day I meet people who are so overweight that they are deformed and hardly able to walk. Tragic, really. By my standards I am overweight. I complained to a cardiologist, and he said, "Blame your parents." That is true. The physique I have I inherited, same as father and grandfather. I also complained to primary care physician, and he said, "You aren't that much overweight," but it's enough that it bothers me, and I have been experimenting, trying to find a way to overcome it. In my case, if I eat mostly vegetable-meat stews while standing up, I lose weight. I haven't sat down for a meal in a month and am down eight pounds. For me this is a significant achievement because like everyone else, I am the victim of compulsive habits. Dark chocolate is good and lowers your blood pressure. Just make sure that the bar is free of hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup. They are the killers.

I enjoyed your technical differentiation between shen and gui, but do not understand what they mean for human life or how they are supposed to relate to each other. What I actually meant by, "What is dispersing?" was "What is dispersing in my life?" but I think understanding the technical differentiation will answer that. Any explanation would be lovely.
Hexagram 59, Dispersing, concerns the loss of integration between shen and gui. The shen is your heavenly part, your ideals and ambitions. The gui is your earthly part, your physical vitality. For a good life, these two need to work together. Generally, ideals should support vitality, and vitality should support ideals, thus making an integrated whole. If there is disharmony in your life, shen and gui are not integrated. Habits can be gradually changed to bring about a greater integration. Slow and steady wins the race.
 
S

sooo

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If I may offer the two ways I view the core of 59, as each depends on the context and the desired result.

On one hand, dispersion is an image of lightening up: water evaporates into a fine mist. This relates to your self-criticism, assuming you desire to lighten up on yourself.

On the other hand, if you feel you are disconnecting with yourself and those around you, you may wish to pull together, as gaseous mist becomes dense by joining and becomes water, or as liquid water becomes solid ice.

Sometimes it can mean both, just pertaining to different specifics, and one can help or hurt the other. I think you may be seeking a good balance. When you are self-critical, that can actually create a self-defeating density, leading to a harmful dissolution of self-care. But if you just let yourself dissipate, that can also lead to a lack of self-discipline. So it's a matter of a positive and creative discipline (pulling together), while dissipating harsh self-loathing.

Many if not most of us deal with the battle of the bulge, yours truly included, and as with you, I am sometimes my worst enemy. For me, it all begins while food shopping, and from there, sticking to moderation. I try not to be self critical, "lightening up" on myself. I think of the positive results as a way of not disuniting with myself, and I feel better when I learn that as we age, a little extra weight has proven to actually increase life expectancy. Just don't use food as a crutch or a habit.

If you love chocolate, buy a quality chocolate bar (preferably dark with minimum 70% cocoa) once a week, and ration a square each day as desert. It's very good for you, as Tom pointed out, in moderation. Make it a positive, not another reason to feel guilty.

Hope this helps.

PS: I thanked Tom for you. I think we're both basically saying the same thing in different ways.
 

themulberrytree

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Sounds like a rather reassuring reading.

The things you've both said feel true, and I enjoy the reminder that slow and steady wins the race. It is one of those things I've heard many times, but have, as yet, failed to integrate.

I also enjoy the explication about a good balance -- I am very concerned about letting myself dissipate, but I also know that the self-defeating density is killing me, so what you've said really speaks to me. (Thank you for thanking Tom for me, sooo!)

Thank you both for giving me your understandings and perspectives. I appreciate it.
 

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