why do things happen?

[anna m]

I do believe most/all events in our lives have deeper meaning or different meaning than we can immediately see. But sometimes it seems strange that something which feels important to you the way you see it possibly has a different purpose altogether.

For instance I got pregnant in October and felt that the pregnancy itself, since it came unexpectedly and in a relationship I felt strongly about, was a miracle and something that was meant to happen but I had a miscarriage in December (with all the stress at the time its no wonder it ended like that, but..) ....

So, since it seems that way to me now, maybe I didn't become pregnant because of the pregnancy itself? The whole experience did provoke a big psychological change in my life.

Though I usually prefer to ask What if questions and they are more useful to me, I asked:

Why did I get pregnant?

and got hex 49, line 2 changing to 43

(about a month ago I asked a related question "Is he the man I should have children with?" and got 49 unchanging)

This answer still puzzles me, in a way it makes sense but not entirely.

Can you share what you think about this?

Thanks,
Ana

 

[gato]

i think you are over-analyzing. i child is a miracle, indeed, but look no further.
you wanted it, you got it (be grateful) ... what else is to be said? what's the hidden meaning, of the hidden reason behind the hidden meaning of the hidden reason?

At least 9 months for now on you want to be the the happiest person on the planet. for that you must remember that ignorance is bliss.

imo 49.2 says in this case : because it was the right time.

but i suspect you wanted to ask if the father is the right person for that. the short answer is no oracle can help you there, you have to decide.

later edit: i saw the "Is he the man I should have children with?" question later, so sorry. still the answer remains

 

[fireflies]

Hi Ana.

I would ask you in what way does the reading make sense, and in what way does it puzzle you?

Searching your emotions with "why" questions should lead you to a greater understanding of what
your pregnancy and loss mean in a larger perspective. How did it make you feel when you found out
you were pregnant? ...why? What issues/emotions did the pregnancy bring up between you and your partner? ...why? Follow your emotions to their sources. I suspect you did this already since you stated that the situation brought about a "big psychological change" for you. Perhaps that is the answer to your question... you needed THAT change. 49.2 points to flexibility and good fortune by adapting... so, did you bend?

 

[anna m]

gato, no baby unfortunately...

The question is not so much a matter of loss, its more about underlying reasons for these events. I feel that life has pushed me through these experiences for a reason and that a change in my life was necessary.
It is clear to me that a change which this hexagram implies happened, and it would have happened whether the pregnancy was fine or not. I was happy to get pregnant and it felt like miracle, though it involved a lot of emotional pain since my partner felt he wasn't ready for it. Because of all that went wrong in my relationship with him during these 2 months and fear of having a baby alone, when I had a miscarriage, though painful, it also felt like a natural thing to happen since circumstances were so bad.
So its confusing, could I have gotten pregnant only because a change in my life was needed? Having a baby would have been a great change also but in a psychological sense the change that losing everything brought was much more dramatic.
And I feel all that happened was in a way good for me. But it still seems strange...

 

[Trojina]

gato, no baby unfortunately...

The question is not so much a matter of loss, its more about underlying reasons for these events. I feel that life has pushed me through these experiences for a reason and that a change in my life was necessary.
It is clear to me that a change which this hexagram implies happened, and it would have happened whether the pregnancy was fine or not. I was happy to get pregnant and it felt like miracle, though it involved a lot of emotional pain since my partner felt he wasn't ready for it. Because of all that went wrong in my relationship with him during these 2 months and fear of having a baby alone, when I had a miscarriage, though painful, it also felt like a natural thing to happen since circumstances were so bad.
So its confusing, could I have gotten pregnant only because a change in my life was needed? Having a baby would have been a great change also but in a psychological sense the change that losing everything brought was much more dramatic.
And I feel all that happened was in a way good for me. But it still seems strange...

49 is shedding, moulting, the way an animal loses its coat and grows a new one...so I'm finding the answer in one way quite literal. You shed the pregnancy seemingly at the right time..although I can appreciate it certainly could not have felt right at all, a terrrible thing for you to go through I imagine But I'm seeing the answer very much on an animal level as i said..and FWIW I myself have noted in terms of questions re the whole female reproductive cycle 49 can show up an awful lot. I guess each month we shed the lining of our wombs and grow new ones.

I think if i were you and got this answer I might think in terms of purely nature doing what nature does...and I also might think the reason it happened was a healthy thing. For reasons we don't know it was the most healthy thing for you and the baby. What I'm saying is I think your answer shows the miscarriage wasn't because of any harmful factors like your stress levels etc..49.2 says it really was the right time for the 'shedding' to happen. Can there be a 'right time' for a miscarriage ? Hmm certainly not on a subjective level...but does nature take our feelings into account ? Seems to do its thing regardless.

Of course they may be other deeper reasons in terms of your whole life story why this happened but I certainly can't say what they are. I think its also worth bearing in mind how often miscarriages happen, they are very common but often people keep them secret. I'm saying that to just suggest perhaps fate didn't single you out so much as it felt.

I'm not denying there may have been other deeper reasons, how could I I don't know...but I do think the 49.2 a farily positive answer in terms of a healthy outcome...your body knew what to do, it did the right thing. I think perhaps we can trust our bodies more than we think and despite the holistic model i still think our bodies, in their animal nature have their own wisdom we can't always fathom.

 

[Trojina]

Actually rereading your own thoughts about the deeper reasons for the pregnancy and loss i think you are probably spot on...the answer could apply on many different levels and in my last post i was seeing it very much in terms of the body (and thinking of a picture re 49 of a deer shedding its coat posted by Meng some time back)

perhaps there was a shedding going on for you too..but you said it didn't feel a bad thing, it felt natural (though painful obviously) I think 49.2 reflects that in a good way , it was natural, the whole cycle of events was natural

 

[anna m]

thanks trojan

I was thinking more in terms of why I got pregnant in the first place but I guess its probably impossible to say/know why. And maybe its not really important now. I was just wandering was there something specific to learn from it and if I'm missing something. In that sense I don't understand the hexagram. But maybe Yi is telling me to stop dwelling on this and move on...

 

[meng]

When you plant a seed when the Ti Ming is just right, a baby announces itself.

What other reason could there be? If you subconsciously created a condition that you're not yet consciously aware of, and if you're looking for that, I'd say it was because subconsciously you wanted a brand new life.

 

[anna m]

I think that's about right, I wanted a change but what I wanted exactly wasn't clear to me at the time. So when the pregnancy came it felt right, and such a thing was a big change. But ultimately I don't feel it was the right kind of change for me, what I need first, before stepping into such a serious new future is to know who I am and what I really want, it seems I kind of lost touch with myself during the past 10 years. So I guess that would more or less be my answer to my own question. Simplified but I think its about right.
(meng I believe your reply was quite helpful actually!)

 

[anna m]

But is this right in this context?, I mean in accordance with the oracles answer?

 

[meng]

But is this right in this context?, I mean in accordance with the oracles answer?

The symbols* are there to support the interpretation, but to say it is absolutely the right interpretation would be presumptuous.

*49 is a hexagram of seasonal change, of molting, and of conflict between opposites, of fire and water. The new grows from within the body, and renews the old.

Line 2 says that the time is right (for fertilization). Using your question as the context.

Things which apply to showing outside have their origin inside. I can safely say I find that principle throughout the Yi; even the way the hexagram constructs, growing from low to high, from inward to outward. Hence the psychology reference.

 

[anna m]

Yesterday I realized that I'm asking this question partly (or mostly?) because I feel conflict between my sense of both getting pregnant and having a miscarriage being somehow right. Maybe there is no conflict really for my view of reality has changed somewhat between these events.
Still, it seems to me now that the main reason for thinking about this in the first place is a certain feeling of guilt.
Though I know there are other more important and more probable factors, I feel guilty/responsible for pregnancy loss because there was a moment when I have completely given up and said goodbye to the baby. That feeling didn't last long but it was very intense. It felt like I blocked everything I wanted and believed at that moment and that the condition of my body had changed. Hm, maybe it sounds a bit irrational and like I said I know there are other more probable factors but this, I think, is the driving force in asking this question.
I do realize I couldn't have done better or differently than I have at the time but the feeling still lingers. I have talked about it yesterday and that helped but it will take time.

Thanks for your replies.

 

[meng]

These kinds of things can linger, if our conscience is awake and living, but time does help, as does self forgiveness.