why won't she leave me alone Hex 12 un

[goddessliss]

Nearly 6 years ago my husband (now ex) took up with another woman.

In this time, although I've never met her or talked to nor seen my exhusband and have had very little to nothing to do with him, she has tried to harass me several times via text and email and also through my youngest son.
It got to the stage I used the assistance of the police more than once to stop her.
For quite some time now the harassment has been non-existent and I've thought hallelujah she's got over what ever her problem is with me.

But this morning I find she has tried to get access to me, through my sons, via facebook.
Naturally I blocked her account straight away.

Why won't she leave me alone

Hex 12 unchanging

So I think this is saying because I block her at every turn which I have managed to do several times.

Why does she want 'access' to me

Hex 39
Gosh looks like she wants to bring me 'down' for some reason.

Anyway thanks if you can shed some light
-Liss

 

[anemos]

strange readings , both of them.

either is an advise for you, how to handle it, ie don't bother (12) , concentrate in your life (39)

or... maybe there are things she might wanted to say to you and trying to approach you.

 

[kafuka]

I don't know your family situation but maybe take a look at the trigrams if they make any sense to you. Idk.

 

[goddessliss]

Oh thanks anemos - yes I thought they were strange readings too.

Well if she's got anything to say to me I can guarantee 100% it wouldn't be nice.
- Liss

 

[anemos]

my - weird, have to confess- feeling is that is some way the question and yi response cancel each other. Visceral interpretation but what i sense its a h12 feeling as if we bring together the same pole of two magnets. There feels like there is not a common ground, something is missing... at least this is how i perceive it...

hope someone else can give a more clear answer

 

[goddessliss]

Oh thanks kafuka our posts must have crossed.

 

[goddessliss]

All I know is she's always hated the love that my exhusband and I once shared and that I've children, she has none.
I don't understand she got the guy in the end and still has him and I never tried to interfere or break them up - I just said if that's what you need to do in your life then I'm out of yours now and forever and that's how it's remained.
Their relationship has always been fraught with domestic violence and substance abuse - I'm not interested and I don't care what they do and my boys have always been very generous and kind to her despite the abuse she's also thrown at them.
I don't interfere and never have and if my boys want to have a relationship with her or not it's got nothing to do with me, they are now adults.
- Liss

 

[Apech7]

What I get from these readings is that she is clogged up with bad feeling towards you and she wants to admonish you - which means essentially drag you down in the eyes of your ex (and possibly your children). In a word she is jealous of you and the relationship she had with your ex. You are right to block any contact because essentially it is completely negative.

 

[goddessliss]

Thank you Apech7 - my instincts are correct then. Very sad for her isn't it, to live with such negativity. - Liss

 

[precision grace]

agreed with all above and please do protect yourself. Just wanted to add - hexagram 12 is about people so different to us that we have no point of connection. Perhaps this is why she won't leave you alone - because she just cannot compute the way you are; she expects you to be like her except that you are not and she can't figure it out so she keeps doing these things to get you to somehow do or say something she can relate to. It must be driving her bonkers. Anyways, not your problem but I am so sorry this is happening to you!

 

[goddessliss]

Thanks Grace - I used to get really upset about it because I was still hurting so much about our breakup and the fact he'd found someone else etc. but now I just think, the poor girl though have no intention of connecting with her in any way.
I think the 'universe' has been looking after me all these years as there were moments when I know she was trying to get access to my physically but I was protected by living in a community environment. Gosh she's tried all sorts of things to get physically close to me but none have come to pass so I'm assuming if it hasn't happened by now it's not going to happen. They live about half hour drive from me but they are known to the police because of the DV and other alcohol related issues so I'm guessing she doesn't want to end up in court by doing something really obvious.
She would know absolutely nothing about me except what my exhusband has told her and she would certainly know nothing about my life now. I'm guessing she was trying to get access to my fb page to see where I spend my time but I'm very wary of putting any information up about location etc. that even if she could get access she just wouldn't find anything. I was a little concerned she may start putting rubbish up on my business page but now she's blocked she's not able to do that either. - Liss

 

[Trojina]

May I be wicked and unsaintly for a moment ?


Yes ?


In a way it's a kind of vindication for you. I mean to be left for another woman is fairly crushing to the ego, self esteem.....apart from the loss and the heartbreak and loneliness it's humiliating !!

However without even trying you have your revenge. They can't possibly be happy and she is obsessed with you. The only reason I can think that she is so mad with you is that he makes her jealous of you by using you to manipulate her into feeling insecure. Maybe he gets a kick out of torturing her with insecurity ? A lot of people do this...you know make out how much they like someone else to make someone feel crap and insecure.

Whichever way you look at it I personally couldn't help but find it devilishly gratifying that far from being the forgotten woman left behind you are still a big part of their lives......hahaha :demon:


I think on some level you have 'won'....you have the upper hand she doesn't. She may feel powerless and jealous......You are free, she isn't and she still feels she is competing with you.

If you have anger to either of them who are you most angry with ? What would happen if you agreed to meet somewhere ? Would you ever consider that ? or is she just totally abusive ?

An abusive person is also a very upset person remember,,,,,,I think he might he torturing her with comparing her to you ?

If you were really naughty you could have a lot of fun with that at his expense by meeting her and undermining him....but yes that would probably be pointless.

All I'm getting at is apart from the annoyance with her you could also take some comfort for your wounded pride from way back then, that actually he probably praises you to her and drives her insane.


Sweet revenge.......

 

[goddessliss]

hahahahahahahahaha Trojina of course I have thought about 'playing' with her but then I think 'why bother' she's doin' a good job of head games herself!!
My understanding is that she's always been incredibly insecure and controlling so whether or not exhusband is adding to it by taunting her, who knows.
I've been staying with my youngest son since the beginning of June and about a month after I moved in here my exhusband, who I hadn't seen for over 5 years, knocked on the door to pick our son up unaware that I was here but I knew it was him.
He would've thought I was still in Sydney which is a 1,000 miles away.
I was as calm as and he was speechless and although I said come in and walked back inside he just stood where he was and shouted out for my son to hurry up as he had the dogs in the car.
Apparently he couldn't speak for the first half hour after they left. Hmmmmmmmmm....
Anyway it was the best thing for me and helped me to let go even more.
I don't feel anger towards either of them and never blamed her, after all it was his choice.
Don't get me wrong - if she's suffering and jealous well good - ya get that and same for him.
We never split up because we no longer loved each other, far from it - mainly his substance abuse and his lack of wanting to sort that out....so he may have taken up with another woman but doesn't mean he didn't have a broken heart nor that he didn't love me, imagine having to compete with that even if he didn't speak about me - a woman just knows, doesn't she.

From what my son's told me it's an incredibly codependant, unhealthy, volatile relationship so I'd guess neither of them are happy, wouldn't you? Yep sweet revenge alright and the fact that I blocked her - God imagine the tantrum she would've chucked!!

Thanks for writing all that helps a lot and gives me a good laugh!

 

[RindaR]

May I join you?

~rinda

 

[goddessliss]

May I join you?

~rinda

Hahaha yes you may and thank you for joining

 

[Grandma]

This is not a comment about the reading so much as your story and I don't know your whole back story with your husband
But
It does sound like your husband is riling this woman up against you and that he might be a abusive manipulator.
If that is the case and she is in denial about his true nature and needs to prove to herself that you are as bad as he probably portrays you. If you met with her and didnt get provoked and she saw you as a normal healthy person her subconscious would store that information and she could use it to break free from him herself. Because, frankly, she is probably just his latest victim or source of narcissistic supply.
Does this resonate? If not please ignore, but I've seen this dynamic before.

 

[RindaR]

what susan said.

 

[goddessliss]

I never suffered from manipulation or abuse from this man, ever. In the end his substance abuse made him impossible to reach in terms of a healthy relationship because he became so introverted.
The truth of the situation is that she has mental health issues and is actually the perpetrator of domestic violence not him but they are both alcoholics and so they're always a time bomb waiting to happen.
I haven't just heard this through my children but also through others in our community who've been unfortunate enough to have had something to do with her. He is the one who bails her out of trouble and she is forever in trouble with the police and court cases and trying to sue someone over something, over here and in California where she immigrated from about the time she met my exhusband.
My understanding is that her family in California are very wealthy and convinced her to move to Australia paying for her to live here. She doesn't work nor claim welfare and won't marry him because she believes the government is spying on all of us.
She has said and done the weirdest things towards me in an attempt (I believe) to get me to react because she lives for drama.
Recently she was away for a couple of months and my youngest son said I've haven't seen dad so happy and relaxed in years - why he doesn't leave her is anyone's guess but I guess they're caught up in there own world of whatever alcoholism brings about.
He's what they call a functioning alcoholic and works sometimes 10 hours or more a day. I only know this because my son happens to work on the same construction road bypass as he does although they work for completely different companies.
I'm not trying to defend my exhusband, he's done what he's done but I don't wish to portray him as an abusive person in anyway, that I experienced anyway. - Liss

 

[Grandma]

Ok sorry, How awful for you.
But glad your ex wasn't abusive.

 

[goddessliss]

This is one of the things I had to deal with in the first years - she'd given my younger son some plastic storage boxes to transport some of his possessions from their place to mine because she was trying to break the bond between my son and father so wanted whatever things my exhusband had of our children's out of their house.
About 12 months later she decides she wants these plastic boxes back. My son and I had moved into a house that was already equipped with everything so the boxes were just used to store whatever overflow we had - no big deal, no thought about who the boxes originally belonged to, they were just storage.
So it became her mission to get them back and she rang and hassled my son and sent me text after text message. The police could do nothing as she hadn't threatened me.
One of the boxes I'd used to take some things to a gf who lived out in the bush, a good hours drive away, so I said when I get a chance I'll go get it and she gave me an ultimatum and said if I didn't get them to her at this time on this day then she would come and do me some harm.
So finally a threat that the police could act on and they did. They said 'what's in the boxes that she wants them back so badly' and I said absolutely nothing.
Prior to this she had been sending me awful text messages and trying to harrass me through my son so I'm guessing because I didn't react to that she had to find a way - so the boxes were it.
So I told the police the general gist of what had been happening and the policewoman said 'Give me the boxes and I will take them to them and have a little chat to her' which she did and then rang me and said If I have any further problems with her to get back in touch'.

Now you may understand what sort of nutter I'm dealing with.

PS Further in this thread someone asked why I didn't just give the boxes back -
I got them back to her as soon as I could Grace, both of them had lost their license due to DUI and lived in a very isolated environment at the time.
Her mission really wasn't about the boxes, her mission was to get me into her territory for whatever reason but my intuition kept saying keep away.
It might sound weird to you but after the stories I'd heard from my boys and others in the community I didn't feel it was safe for me to go anywhere near her.
Obviously the police agreed after also scanning their police records or they wouldn't have taken the boxes for me.

Last edited by goddessliss; Today at 06:39 AM.

 

[Grandma]

Wow, you've been through so much. And you keep your sanity and good nature.
She sounds like the opposite of the untethered cow being taken by someone, you get the rabid dog dropped in your yard through no fault of your own.

 

[goddessliss]

Thanks Susan - It hasn't been an easy time for me that's for sure but I don't believe in getting caught up in others 'issues'. It's driven both of them nuts I can assure you but too bad
I've always said 'It's how the adults handle the breakup, to how the kids will' and despite us all being heartbroken about the breakdown of our family unit the boys appear to be quite positive about their own lives. It's the kids that problem got me to think about my own behaviour.
. - Liss

 

[matthias]

Important to understand you phrased these questions from her perspective.

Why won't she leave me alone?

12 - there is a standstill. You won't respond to her.

Why does she want acces to me?

38 - obstruction (which can and should be overcome according to the judgement.)

Both readings fit together and make perfect sense. And are "static" IE no changing lines b/c there is no real interaction. She obviously wants your ear. I would think if she had any ill will the responses from the yi would have been markedly different. One could come up with any number of combinations of hexagrams to convey that message clearly.

Perhaps ask the yi if she has any ill will towards you and go from there. Perhaps she just wants to talk about thier problems with someone who knows him well.

Or just simply ask the yi "what do you think I should do about xxx?"

Warm regards
M

 

[goddessliss]

Thank you M - I asked What do I need to know about her interest in me

Hexagram 61.6>60

Gosh I've never understood Line 6.

- Liss

 

[matthias]

Cockcrow rises to the heavens - constancy pitfall

All words no substance is the meaning of line 6. That might be too harsh. I've rec'd it few times myself. And there was definatley no ill will on my part. More of not being able to express what you mean effectivey. Youre outside the lines of 61 INNER sincerity but you try to convey it in an outwardly fashion that is not understood. If that makes any sense. Sorta does in your case b/c she has a substance abuse issue it sounds like. I wouldnt worry about .


Please forgive me for the following. I'm not trying to derail your thread. I've lurked on here for 2+ years on and off. Mostly off. For amusement purposes. But never posted. drama sells I guess.

I find it fascinating to see someones Q in say 2008 and the yi's response and then fast forward 3,4,8 years and see the outcome.

I've came across your threads a lot Liss and find it interesting that I chose to come out in one of yours. And then end it. I was just told 23 splitting apart as far as if I should continue to participate here. So this is my swan song. And definatley ego based (leo rising) - that said, as a starseed knowing what I know and how this works( to a certain degree) I need to get it off my chest. Maybe it helps somebody.

The yi is your higher self. You are literally communicating with yourself in a parralel universe. Think of it like the matrix movie. Your higher self is plugged in off world while you the lower self is on earth basically participating in a very advanced computer programn. A hologram. To learn whatever you need to learn to advance your soul.

The i- ching is a communication vessel. You can communicate with any spirit off planet ( deceased relative for example) if you conciously direct the inquiry towards it. The default method again is your higher self which is actually your twin soul. The other half of you. For 95% it is off planet. Another dimension. Thats a whole different ball of wax.

Couple things before I go.

The relating hex is just that. It's not the future. It should really be disgregarded. But it's comical sometime b/c its the yi telling you what the hell it's trying to convey.

The changing lines are what is important. That IS the future. With the first being the present and the subsequent lines being the future. But what is not known is the time between the changing lines. I've personaly experienced as little as one day to as long as 5 years.


Best wishes. And this post was probably the perfect personification of line 61.6

 

[matthias]

Only you know what is going on with you. Of course I do not. And no I am not familiar with your posts or your drama. I recognize your name. I don't mean that in a bad way. We are all searching for answers, I don't have a solution to your problems was simply trying to give my .02 cents and again - I just gave you the meaning of 61.6 with my post- I tried and failed. No ill will. Best of Luck!


PS- Like I said it was more so of putting my knowledge into print.Felt compelled for some reason. Apologies.

 

[precision grace]

I just really don't understand why you didn't give her back her boxes when she first asked for them?

 

[goddessliss]

I got them back to her as soon as I could Grace, both of them had lost their license due to DUI and lived in a very isolated environment at the time.
Her mission really wasn't about the boxes, her mission was to get me into her territory for whatever reason but my intuition kept saying keep away.
It might sound weird to you but after the stories I'd heard from my boys and others in the community I didn't feel it was safe for me to go anywhere near her.
Obviously the police agreed after also scanning their police records or they wouldn't have taken the boxes for me.

 

[precision grace]

I just meant why couldn't you get your son or someone else, anyone, to return the boxes so that she wouldn't have a reason to bait your further, but I guess your circumstances were such that you weren't able to do that or to post them or whatever. It certainly doesn't seem like you should go anywhere near her, for sure!

 

[goddessliss]

Oh haha Grace I misunderstood - well I wouldn't want her near any of my friends and I did say they can wait until my son visit you guys again but no that wasn't good enough for her....anyway I think you get the general gist of what she's like now.