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Will he contact me? hex 31

sirix

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I asked I ching is my ex bf going to contact me?
I got 31 unchanging.
By that I didn't mean in a way to be together, but just for a friendly chat - I don't have other intentions. Maybe it will be helpful for the interpretation of the reading to say that he has new girlfriend now.
 

bodhixeno

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I wish I would get hexagram 31 more often, especially in the situation you were inquiring about! Hexagram 31 deals with influence. A static 31 hexagram pretty much much says that you have the ability to make things change because you have the power to influence. Hey, you don't have to run to the phone and make that call. (You can if you want to). Or you can simply think about your boyfriend in a happy way, see him talking to you or contacting you in a happy setting. With the power of hexagram 31 backing you up, you have that magick power so to speak. Try not to daydream about your boyfriend running off with another chick, that just might manifest. Remember, Hexagram 31 gives you that power to influence. So if you want a good out come, think good stuff. This also applies to the bad as well. Hexagram 31 has the amzing power to influence, give it a try and let us know how it turns out!
 

dobro p

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"A static 31 hexagram pretty much much says that you have the ability to make things change because you have the power to influence."

My understanding of 31 is that you are being influenced, rather than influencing. I get this idea by looking at the individual lines - they're images of being influenced, I think. The only active role I see in Hex 31 is the suggestion in the text to unite with the force or influence that's working on you right now. That doesn't mean you're influencing it though. :)
 

sirix

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Thanks for finding the time to read my thread.

The fact is that I don't want to call him because I feel like I always need to initiate the contact ( I used to call him once in 2 weeks but now it's almost 3 and I didn't call and he hasn't contacted me with a call or sms), except when he needs something from me.

My original understanding of the hex was that if I want to hear from him I'll have to initiate the contact every single time. And that is better to be firm in a decision not to call him and let him to influence the situation.

Than I looked at dattamurti's translation of I ching (one of my favourites) which has a comment on each hexagram when it is unchanged and the translation says: "it is necessary to be open and receptive on everything that is entering your life now. Spontainious two sided influence, perhaps love relationship, has to be experienced before the next change happens".
Than I tought that he will contact me after some time when his new relationship will not be so new anymore.

What is your opinion on mine understanding of 31?

I am very confused because I got 2 quite different explanations from Bodhixeno and Dobro.
Basicly Dobro (in my language Dobro means good
) says that I should go with the flow and see what happens.
I consider this hex to be positive but also telling you not to force things but to be open for changes and that these changes will be positive.

If you have some more comments I would be really greatefull
 

dobro p

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Bodhixeno's a good reader, I think. I think I'm okay too when I'm on form lol. So, although Bodhixeno's emphasis is on the active form of influencing and my emphasis is on the passive form of being influenced, the common ground is *influencing*. Okay, let's look at both interpretations in terms of your original question.

"I asked I ching is my ex bf going to contact me? I got 31 unchanging. By that I didn't mean in a way to be together, but just for a friendly chat - I don't have other intentions. Maybe it will be helpful for the interpretation of the reading to say that he has new girlfriend now."

Active interpretation: exert influence on the situation (contact the ex somehow), and you will attain (get a real gain). It's to your advantage to carry out what you think is right (in both contacting him and in the way you do that), and do this in the certain knowledge that doing this is a 'good fortune' situation.

Passive interpretation: the situation is influencing you strongly now (in other words, you're really drawn to the idea of contacting the ex), and this influence draws you into real attainment, real positive gain (this may not be what you imagine it to be, but it's positive, so what do you care? lol). It's to your advantage to carry out what you think is right (in how you deal with the influence you're feeling right now, and how you choose to act on it), and do this in the certain knowledge that doing this is a 'good fortune' situation.

It's my opinion that there's not so much difference or distance between Bodhixeno's take and my own. But only you can know for sure.

ps For the time being, I'm going to ignore the possibility that Hex 31 is trying to draw your attention to the girlfriend or their relationship, because you didn't ask about that, you asked about contact between you and him.
 
R

rosada

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Hi Sirix

31, Influence (Wooing)
The wise person encourages people to
approach him
By his readiness to receive them.

First of all, although the I ching doesn't say so, it occurs to me that it would be inappropriate for your friend to call you when he is just at the start of a new relationship. ( I'd sure have trouble understanding if my husband were calling old girlfriends for a "friendly chat"!) especially as it sounds as if he was the one who broke off your romance, so there could be some concern that to call you might suggest to you that he had something other than "just a friendly chat" in mind, possibly even getting back together. So his calling you is very questionable.
Having said this, however, it seems to me that the I Ching is telling you that if he seems happy to hear from you, there is no harm in you calling him. He can "encourage you to approach him", even if it is not appropriate for him to call you.
I suggest you continue to call now and then if you get that he welcomes this "just friends" connection, and not stress that he doesn't initiate contact. You might also ask the I Ching where this friendship is heading. I would think that ultimately you would want to feel his new partner thinks of you as a friend too.
 

bradford_h

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Hi Rosada-
I see that you (or 'translators' you're reading) are trying to substitute the term "Wise Person" for "Superior Man", the usual inferior translation of Jun Zi. There's a conflict here though, as this is the translation of Sheng Ren, another term used a lot in the Yijing, mostly in the Tuan Zhuan or Commentary on the Judgment. This could get very confusing for you as your studies progress. Sheng Ren is also somethimes translated "the Sage(s)".
 

dobro p

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Hey Brad, do you see 31 as more a matter of influencing things, or being influenced?
 
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rosada

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Thank you Brad! "Wise Person" was my mistake - thanks for pointing it out!

I'm thinking along Dobro's wave length now. Having Sirix always being the one to initiate contact now strikes me as unbalanced and therefore not likely to be The Answer. So if the I Ching is refering to Sirix as the one doing the influencing, the Superior Man, what does it advise her to do? Well, I note the translation says, "The Superior Man encourages PEOPLE (not one person) to approach him." So perhaps your focus should be on bringing your ex AND his current partner into your circle. I don't think this is necessarily meaning you have to invite them over, although that could happen, but just in your talk, do you give him the impression that you approve of his new relationship and would welcome them both into your home?
 

bradford_h

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Being influenced. Or being tempted and teased (as the lines suggest) and not having the courage to go for it. The metaphor is erotic (sensuous or life affirming, not necessarily sexual). It's more about finding the appropriate response to a stimulus and engaging in life.
 

sirix

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Hi :)
I asked another question as Rosada suggested: Where is mine and his frienship heading? And surprise! I got 30 unchanging. This is getting a little bit crazy. Overly positive? or negative?

I don't like these answers, they seem to positive to be true. Because I still have some doubts about contacting him. I have this idea that he is talking with me only when he needs something - maybe based on some things that happened between. I tought that answer is going to be a hard one because we are still at the beggining of our friendship.

The last time I asked the same question (will he call me the day he said he will?)I got I belive 30 or 31 and he didn't call I had to call him and he was happy to meet me at a lunch?!
 

dobro p

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"Where is mine and his frienship heading? And surprise! I got 30 unchanging."

The relation is heading toward a kind of radiant state, arising out of its own chemistry, one in which a certain acceptance, malleability or docility is evident in both parties. Brilliant, in other words. Keep in mind though, that this is where the r'ship is heading now; you still have to actually get there lol.
 

void

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I can't agree with you here Dobro as for me unchanging hexagrams generally, not always, can indicate that there is a deadlock and nothing much happening.

I often see 30 as to do with dependence and addiction. Reading between the lines seems to me Sirix is hankering after a bit more than a friendly chat, deep down theres attachment and some dependence, and this is more or less a totally inner event. Come to think of it I might go so far as to say I feel sometimes unchanging hexes are referring to something thats only happening in your head, there isn't much response from the outer world, nor much influence from it.

If I got 30 asking about will someone contact me I'd just think 'no'. This comes from experience rather than any reasoned figuring out.

Sirix personally if I were you I just wouldn't call this person anymore and leave it up to them.
I don't think 30 or 31 unchanging is a green light positive for the realtionship, more like its indicating your're stuck in this attachment.
 

void

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I started another thread just on unchanging hexes because its an issue thats bugging me, people see them so differently. I don't much like to receive them
 
P

peace

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I agree with Void about static hexagrams.
When I get them I really think I need to examine my attitude and perspective - because if don't - I am headed in the direction it says - and it won't be easy to switch my perspective and have other outcomes. Even when people say it's a "good" hexagram - I truly don't know what that means - good for what. Usually something "good" is at the expense of other options. I personally, look at I Ching as helping to provide me with more questions to look deeper and expand the box of what I need to look at.

If you read the RL Wing interpretrations, he gives the interpretation for the static hexagram at the bottom of the page for each hexagram. They are not necessarily positive - usually worst case scenario for taking things to the extreme.
 

dobro p

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Void, I love to receive hexagrams without active lines. I don't call them 'unchanging' hexagrams because I think that's really a misnomer. An unchanging hexagram doesn't exist in the Yi. Everything is change. When you draw a hexagram, you're drawing an image of a situation that is in flux, but the rate of change is just slow enough for it to apply to the present time. But count on it - it will change. That's why it's called the Book of Change blah blah blah.

When I draw the main text of a hexagram, I view it as the archetypal situation, with no conditions or variations. (By contrast, when there are active lines in a hex, I view that not as an archetypal situation, but as a variant of the archetypal situation.) In fact, I'm really happy to get a main hexagram, first because I think the archetypal situation is more important, more in tune with the cosmos, and second because for me it's easier to understand. None of those pesky active lines and relating hexagrams lol. YMMV
 

dobro p

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Mmm, another thought, Void. In terms of meaning and significance, I think of the active lines in a hex as satellites of the main meaning, and therefore on a slightly lower order of magnitude.
 

void

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Mmm yes I can see a hex with no changing lines as sometimes just being the pure archetype of that hex... but in practise - like in the current situation we have here with Sirix I really don't see the 30 coming to pass as 'the relation heading to some radiant state...' as you put it.
Purely because in my experience, having recieved 30 happily often with questions like this, such a thing never came to pass. Well hopefully for Sirix it will be radiant..Sirix let us know what happens.

Funny I often see line meanings as overiding the main hex meaning, especially in minor matters where the line meanings can be so literal in your own situation they're like a joke or a pun.
 

void

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Heh heh had to look up YMMV, I never heard that before.
 

bradford_h

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Hi Void-
A bit of unsolicited advice here on your statement:
"Funny I often see line meanings as overiding the main hex meaning".
The line meanings are always subordinate to the Hexagram meanings and are always explorations of them, or of their ramifications. One of the authors' favorite jokes to play on the reader, or humor devices, is to let the reader forget the main meaning and go off on the Lines, but offer a joke that you can't get until you remember where you are (44.3 being a good example).
 
E

ewald

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Li1, the name of hexagram 30, can mean two things (according to the dictionaries I prefer). It can mean leave, depart, separate from, distant from, or brightness, radiance. In the hexagram text (judgment), in my opinion the meaning is the first. It means that there is separation or parting. This is consistent with the experience of people when getting 30 unchanging.

Wilhelm's "Clinging" is in my view an entirely misleading translation of the hexagram name of 30.
 
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rosada

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In relationship situations, i see 30 as indicating two strong personalities that are bumping into each other, stepping on each other's toes. If you consider 29 as discribing conciousness becoming very self sufficient then - given that fact we attracted from the outer world a reflection of our inner state - the next experience - 30 - is dealing with someone equally certain that their idea is the bright one. The only way out of this potential log jam is 31, Lake on top of Mountain - the idea that something at it's peak softens and is receptive, the willingness to pause and let the other guy pass.
 

dobro p

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Ewald, Karcher's my main man when it comes to the range of meanings for a term. Here's the range of meanings he offers for Li:

* glowing light spreading in all directions

* light-giving, discriminating, articulating

* divide and arrange in order

* the power of consciousness

In Karcher's lexicon, there's none of the 'separate, leave, depart from' idea you highlight. (For me, that idea is taken care of in Hex 43, so why repeat it in 30?) And yeah, I don't see any of Wilhelm's 'clinging' in this hexagram, except for the last line about raising female cattle, which I read as 'cultivating docility' - docility sort of connects with clinging, if you take clinging in the sense of following docilely.
 
R

rosada

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I would like to add that in this situation, I feel 30 is saying this friendship works when the two of you are being bright and self-sufficient. That is, if you ar not pulled off center by the desire to have something more personal with this fellow, you may indeed beable to forge a very decent friendship.
 
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ewald

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Dobro, in Dictionaries for the Study of Buddhist and East Asian Language and Thought (previously AC Muller's), there is for Li1 (username: "guest", no password):
# To separate from, to leave, to put distance between.
# To be free from. To be separated from. Distant from, apart from.
# To be scattered.
# Brightness.
# Yijing HEXAGRAM NUMBER 30 : "Fire."

I think in hexagram 30, lines 3, 4, 5 and 6 are about some form of separation. In line 3 it seems one can translate Li1 with either brightness as leaving or parting and arrive at the same meaning, the sun leaving at the end of the day, so something that is about to end.
Line 1 is not entirely clear in this respect, however it's fan yao 56.1 is about a traveler who may be causing himself to be thrown out, which is a way of separating.
In line 2 it seems most appropriate to translate Li1 with radiance (however, I've lately started to doubt that).

So as most lines are about some form of parting with something, I think this is the most appropriate translation of Li1, as it is supposed to indicate the theme of the hexagram. I don't see how any form of radiance, brightness or light (or consciousness) can serve that purpose.

With separation/parting there is a need to deal with that loss. That's where the keeping of a cow (or perhaps alternatively translated as a herd of cows) comes in. The cow as a symbol of docility doesn't make sense to me. It is however an investment for the future, as cows are a source of meat, milk and leather.
 
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ewald

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Dobro - Hexagram 43 is in my opinion about various perspectives on deciding. I don't see how that's about separating or parting, except for line 3 perhaps.
 
P

peace

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Rosada - I never got this from 29.

"If you consider 29 as discribing conciousness becoming very self sufficient..."

I thought is was about danger and dealing with the darkness of the abyss.
 

void

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Brad I had to check out 44,3 in your translation to see what you were meaning, it makes me laugh, (I hope its supposed to or you would think me rude, or perverted, lol)
I wish you had an illustration for each line story heh heh...


You say the changing lines are always ramifications of the main hexagram meanings, well I guess I can't argue with that but I thought where the line meaning opposes (for want of a better word) the hex meaning you gave that the priority. For example in 12,lines 5 and 6 saying the stagnation is ending etc, so conditions described in 12 are no longer holding strong sway.

Sometimes also its seems to me if I'm asking about a very mundane or physical issue the lines seem to answer literally echoing the very words I'm using in the question. For example I asked about some bleeding and got 9,4 which says bad blood leaves. I just took the line as immediately answering my question that the bleeding would cease and did not give much thought to 9 at all - and the bleeding did cease. But I take it you think thats mistaken way of understanding the answer I got, that I should have considered the meaning of 9 as inseperable from its line 4. I guess thinking about it I probably automatically did consider 9 too, yet it didn't register much as the answer seemed so clear from the line.
That kind of thing is what I meant when I said sometimes I give priority to the lines.
Anyway thankyou for your feedback.


I find the thought on 30 interesting from Ewald and Rosada. Reminds me of 2 magnets that might attract or repel. Rosada I always wonder why the lines of 31 seem to fall absolutely short of ever achieving 31. That is each line seems to say how and why the attraction/influence is not strong nor deep enough to make a lasting impression.
 

void

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Rosalie but 29 asks you to hold to your own truth through danger. I thought thats what Rosada meant by self sufficiency.
 
J

jesed

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Hi Sirix

Just in case the comment could be useful

I had find that, when the question is more a "prediction", mathematical method is more accurate than text-analysis method.

In mathematical method, 30 is a total conflict. In relationships, means a breaking-up process.

Sorry to tell that.

Best wishes
 

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