Will Our Finances Improve?? Help

[kathyd]

Hello

I find myself in a desperate situation.

We have an awful lot of financial problems and I have not shareg all our problems with my husband, as I find it is enough that one of us is under stress and I also feel, as I have kept the knowledge of so many of our debts to myself in order to sort them out. I feel that if becomes aware of the true situation that he will feel that he can not trust me.

I need to know if our finances will improve??

The Last Five years of our lives have been very difficult. We have no social life and we both live far away from our families, the continuous problem is money , not being able to afford "quality of life".

I need to know will our lives improve?

Someone please help.

Thank you

Kathy

 

[dharma]

Hello Kathy,

Hilary, it seems, has a full plate for a while

and so if she cannot find time to help in the next few days, I will do a Tarot reading for you if you wish. However, I will not be able to do so until this weekend coming up. Hang in there--let me know if this is okay with you.

Dharma

 

[kathyd]

Hello Dharma

Thank you for your quick reply.

Yes, I would appreciate it if you did an Tarot reading.

I look forward to hearing from you and also Hilary when she less busy.

Regards

Kathy

 

[dharma]

Hello Kathy,

Here is the Tarot reading--I hope it helps.

With the questions you asked in mind, I drew the following 12 cards and this is the reading that emerged.

"I need to know if our finances will improve?? I need to know will our lives improve?"

Self-Center: 10 of Swords
Present Conditions: 5 of Wands
Challenge: 4 of Cups
Crowning Ideal: Queen of Wands
Foundation to Consider: Ace of Wands
Past Influence: Knight of Wands
Next Turn of Events: Ace of Cups
Inner Attitude: Death
Outer Environment: Strength
Illusions: The Hermit
Probable Outcome: The Hierophant
Long-term Influence: 6 of Pentacles

You have the 10 of Swords as your Self-Center indicating how emotionally cut-off and separated you feel from your husband at this time. You realize this has become a permanent stalemate of sorts that keeps you feeling unhappy and distressed. You simply cannot continue like this anymore--you have literally hit bottom. It's time to make a definite change. You have suffered enough. Improvement IS possible but you're having a hard time seeing it.

The Present Conditions are reflected by the 5 of Wands. You are most definitely confronted by very challenging obstacles and unexpected problems but the external conflict is merely opposition and set-backs from not effectively setting your priorities. The situation demands a lot of your energy, and scattering your energies in too many direction is what creates the stress you are under.

Your greatest hurdle to overcome is represented by the 4 of Cups. Your discontentment and dissatisfaction with many things in general require your attention and your serious reevaluation. Until you do this you will continue to feel unmotivated and stuck in a rut. Depression and confusion cause you withdraw into yourself and you often reject help that is offered that could change your situation. Contemplation and meditation will help you to let down the wall that keeps you from seeing the good that surrounds you.

This position describes the basis from which our problems arise. Frequently, what we discover here are our habits that cause our difficulties in the first place, as well as, the foundation of our value system. The Ace of Pentacles believes in material comfort and possessions as the measurement of one's worth. Your emphasis on monetary and material rewards is the crux of your present hardship--it causes you to unconsciously make poor choices and rash decisions that make material security elude you. If money is your only measurement of success you will be hard pressed to see the many other worthwhile things your life is made up of.

A recent past influence that is affecting your situation now is the Knight of Wands. This particular fellow represents impetuousness and abrupt changes. You've likely experienced some major changes related to job or residence that has affected your finances. Either that or you have too many interests and distractions that keep your situation from changing.

The best you can expect under the circumstances is to draw on your competent business sense as the Queen of Wands. With her energy, you have tremendous ambition and foresight at your disposal. You are confident and courageous when you want to be and can turn this situation around from your sheer tirelessness. However, the flip side to her is a manipulating dominance that uses lies and deception to correct the situation.

The next turn of Events sees you entering into the arena of feelings as revealed by the Ace of Cups. This is a new beginning that contains the potential for emotional honesty. The heart is the focal point with this Ace so a time will come soon when you will want to come clean with your husband about the situation though you are likely to struggle with it beforehand because of the next card--Death which describes your Inner Attitude.

Death is about undergoing major life changes that we can't control. All we know is that this is happening whether we like it or not and all we can do is accept it by grieving the loss of our former lifestyle and shedding our outmoded attitudes. You feel strongly resistant but at the same time you sense an inevitability that makes the experience that much more painful. Let go and discard the situation(s) or attitude(s) that don't serve you.

Your Outer Environment has the Strength card that forces you to take action and overcome your problems through sheer willpower. When you do you will find that your position is much stronger than you expected. You really shouldn't be depending on others as much as you do. Perhaps you are feeling physically weak and fatigued but this is only because you have been spreading yourself too thin from lack of prioritization. This physical drain is what causes your doubts and fears to surface. It's time to assert your inner strength with conviction to feel empowered and self-reliant. Others see this quality in you and rely on it.

You are under the Illusion (Hermit) that keeping everything to yourself is in everyone's best interests. You have isolated yourself with the intention that a calm reflection will put things in order, however, you must recognize the difference between a time of thoughtful planning and outright escapism. You have perhaps become excessively self-reliant by not sharing this with others.

The Probable Outcome has The Hierophant as it's direction. In the short-term, you will need to consult with a financial advisor for professional advice on how to bring order into this area of your life (if order is what is required). You must establish a bugetary system that you can keep to that will allow you to achieve the goals you are after. As a long-term solution, you must dare to be different by changing the values that you are presently living by. Perhaps by recognizing that you identify with society's materialistic ideals too much, you will be free to create values that resonate more in keeping with who YOU really are and what you REALLY want.

Your Long-Term Influence is the 6 of Pentacles. This indicates that though you will at times throughout your life suffer material misfortunes as a result of other people's selfish actions and or carelessness, you will also receive money owed just when you need it, that effort and work will pay off, and that you will receive financial assistance when you need it most.

If there's anything that seems unclear don't hesitate to say so. I will clarify as best as I can. Again, I hope this is helpful.

Dharma

 

[kathyd]

Hello Dharma

Thank you for the above.

I have printed out a copy so that I can read it later on this evening.

Once again many thanks.

Regards

Kathy

 

[pocossin]

Dear Kathy,

Please, please, please find a credit counselor in your area to talk to. I think you need specific help with your credit problems. Overwhelming debt is bad for your marriage and bad for your physical and mental health.

To find someone to talk to, you could call your local social services office, the mental health department, a bank, the local Salvation Army office, or a minister and ask for a reference. Perhaps you know someone who has needed help with finances, and they could advise you. In your phone book there should be an entry for a crisis intervention service. Probably they could recommend a number for you to call.

No matter where you live, there are hundreds of people in your area who would help you if they knew of the need. In my opinion you should not talk to any of the commercial debt counseling services that advertise on TV until you have talked to a real person first.

Worry can keep you from thinking straight, and it may be that you cannot sort this problem out by yourself. One way or another there is a way out, and a disinterested person could point out the best way for you.

Best wishes,
Tom

 

[kathyd]

Hello Tom

Thank you.

Regards

Kathy

 

[hilary]

Dear Kathy,

I am still around... (*passing in a cloud of dust*) Are you suffering from information overload by now, or would you still like the I Ching's perspective on your question? Please just say!

While I'm here - if it were me (since it isn't, take exactly as much notice of this as you want), I would confide in my husband. Over the years there have been a few things I've thought I simply couldn't possibly tell him. I've always ended up telling him, often within a few days, and this has always been good. Astonishing how quickly something could go from a secret I must keep at all costs to something we both knew and that knew its (minor) place in the scheme of things. Your husband must know that you are worrying - maybe he would even feel better for knowing why, and feeling he could help.

Like I said - that's just my 2 cents, to do with as you will. If you'd like an I Ching reading, let me know!

 

[kathyd]

Hello Hilary

Thanks for your note, I know what you are saying makes sense, but I find this most difficult at the moment to do.
I would appreicate an I Ching reading from you.
Many thanks.

Regards

Kathy

 

[hilary]

Dear Kathy,
Here (at last!) is an I Ching reading to add to your collection. I asked the I Ching for a picture of the outlook for your finances, and it gave Hexagram 57, Gentle Penetration, changing to Hexagram 37, People in the Home.

The second hexagram often tells you something about the underlying issues behind the question. Hexagram 37 suggests this is about the relationships you establish in your home, the way you and your husband (and any other members of the family?) work together and complement one another. This all centres on the woman:
?People in the home. The woman?s constancy, good fortune.?
To be ?constant?, in the I Ching, is to have a clear understanding of what is to be done and to carry it through in practice with perseverance and loyalty. I think this speaks to your sense of responsibility for not only your financial state, but also maybe your husband?s emotional state? In very, very general terms, the woman tends to look after what is inside, the man what is outside, and she often does end up working to keep him in emotional health. This allocation of responsibilities seems limiting, but in practice it is still often how things work out. But still? if this is the responsibility you assume? there must also be something you leave for him to do. I wonder whether you might not be taking too much on yourself alone?

When all is well, the home should be your refuge from injury, the safe inner space where the family unites to face the world. When the fire burns strongly on the hearth, it sends out a powerful blast of warm air:
?Wind originates from fire and goes forth. People in the Home. The wise disciple?s words have substance and she perseveres in her actions.?
The ?wind? of words and influence in the world is only as strong as the hearth it comes from. I think that to deal with this effectively, you really do need to be working together.

The more direct answer to your question comes with the first hexagram, Gentle Penetration. This is less about what happens as the way things can change. It deals with the subtle influence of unseen things, the hidden sources of events, and not least of your own actions.

?Gentle penetration, small success.
Harvest from having a direction to go.
Harvest from seeing great people.?

Penetrating things gently means having influence in the way the wind does, or the tree roots: silently, subtly, slipping round the obstacles rather than confronting them. Nothing spectacular happens on the surface, there are no fanfares, but these quiet, adaptable approaches shape whole landscapes. For you, this means having a strong sense of purpose ? of where you want to end up ? that permeates all your actions. And it is also very beneficial to ?see great people.? The first meaning of this is to see other people who are in a position to help you. Tom has already suggested where you can find these people ? go to it! And secondly, there?s the possibility that the ?great person? is also inside you ? your vision of your ideal self. There are times, though, when it?s a lot easier and more practical to get help from outside.

Gentle Penetration comes after the Wanderer (Hexagram 56). It suggests you?ve been very much on your own - conscious of who you are and where you want to be, but like a traveller in a foreign country who evidently can?t do anything to change her surroundings. She simply has to fit in, rather than expressing herself. Moving on to Hexagram 57 changes that. It doesn?t mean that you?re suddenly, conspicuously in control; it does mean that the world around you is more responsive and sympathetic, and you can have an effect on it.

This is one of a select few hexagrams that are closely allied with personal development ? which the I Ching describes in terms of te:
?The adjustment of te, weighing things up and still in hiding, taking circumstances into account.?
Your te is your own virtue, what makes you yourself, and how you implement your principles in practice. The way of Gentle Penetration is to adjust this te to fit with the circumstances you find yourself in. In the background, before you do anything visible, you weigh up the situation and prepare. The I Ching?s image for this comes from weighing things on a set of balance scales, and sliding a weight (the counterpoise) along the balance arm to compensate for any imbalance. In other words, your own rules and priorities have to be adapted to the occasion if the standard-issue ones are not enough.

And one final practical suggestion:
?Following winds. The wise disciple delegates orders to get things moving.?
The wise disciple (the person who best understands how to work with the situation rather than against it) shares the responsibilities she is given, and passes them on. One wind naturally follows another ? once you start things moving, a remarkable amount can be achieved.

And so to the moving lines, the most specific part of your answer. There are two that connect Gentle Penetration with People in the Home ? and both are more to do with inner change. Change will come through drawing in your horns somewhat, stepping back from the action to regroup.

Line 1: ?Advancing and withdrawing. Harvest from a warrior?s constancy.?
Perhaps there is so much adapting to be done that you seem to get nowhere at all. It?s easy to succumb to indecision and confusion. Deal with it by treating the road to recovery as a military campaign, and carry insights and good resolutions through into action.
2 ?Subtly penetrating under the bed. Making use of a variety of historians and shamans. Good fortune. No mistake.?
This is the tactic you?re using now, in effect: trying to get to the bottom of things, uncover the influences at work so you can move on. I know that what you asked for was ?what?s going to happen?? You?ll have noticed that what tarot and I Ching alike are offering you is an insight into the forces at work and what you can do to change things. This is just what divination does! ? puts you back in charge.

Historians understand precedents and how things work in practice. Shamans look into the hidden sources of events. In other words, there is a role for both diviners and debt counsellors! An unfortunate side-effect of this is confusion from the many sources of advice. But this is not a serious problem (I think you?ll find they complement one another) ? and the process of exploration leads to good fortune.

Good luck with it all! I?d love to hear your response to this. If anything needs clarifying, or if you have further questions, you know where to come