I am not sure if I have interpreted my casts about a new relationship correctly. I feel confused.
I will share both of my casts with you in case there is someone to help.

I told to yi: I am confused and I worry that I will remain single for the rest of my life:
hexagram 17 changing lines 3 and 4 to hexagram 63
I can't figure it out at all. I don't know if it shows that I will find the man I seek.

And... Will I have a partner?
hexagram 3 changing line 4 to hexagram 17
Does it show that someone will ask me to be together and it will be auspicious to accept?

I am confused and I worry that I will remain single for the rest of my life
17.3.4 > 63
You know very well who and what you like the most, very clearly, you know who to follow (17.3).
But somehow you are getting confused... your attention goes here and there (17.4).
Very soon the confusion will end, somehow. Really don't know how, but it will (63).

Will I have a partner?
3.4 > 17
In 3.4, the female is taking the initiative to go after the male (similar to 17.3 actually).
So, yes, you will, if you go after him. But - not yet, wait till the confusion of 17.4 settles (63).

Hang in there nAstWr, there's 4 planets retrograde at the moment.
Everything is being reshuffled, so just wait for a short while.
The confusion will clear out and then you can follow & get a guy you really like

hi diamanda! glad you are back! we missed you!

" there's 4 planets retrograde at the moment. "
Oh I felt it somehow! grrrrr

The only guy I like so much is my ex and he is the guy that I was following.. but unfortunately we I had a big fight 3 days ago that killed every hope for reconciliation for ever.

Anyway, I was searching on the forum about line 17.4 and I found a translation (by the way thank you charly about your contribution on the forum) https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?21492-17-4
post #10

r
sui2 you3 huo4
FOLLOWING TO_HAVE CAUGHT
Looking for getting captives ... (1)

žφ
zhen1 xiong1
OMEN UNFORTUNATE
It should be horrible!

r huo4 means to capture, to catch.
Φ qu3 means to fetch, to catch, to take and also to marry.

As a conclusion line 4 could mean to capture someone to marry. Marriage is like a prison right?
Interesting translation!

As for line 4 of hexagram 3, I am not really the woman type who will make the first move.. but I will follow someone if he wants it... Does line 4 show that I have to do the first move in order to be with someone?

That's very sweet of you, thanks!

Yes indeed, 17.4 does mention capture, which could be taken as "capture someone to marry".
Not sure about marriage being a prison. Haven't been there, so I can't say for sure.
Maybe it is, so be careful what you wish for

In 17.3 there's a choice between two guys. You know exactly who of the two you prefer. **
In 17.4 there's a choice between many options - and you think you have clarity, but you don't.
Quite a confusing situation overall.
Who are the other options...? are there more guys in your life at the moment?

3 is about initiating. 3.4 is a female line which becomes active.
So if you are certain you want your ex (are you sure you have clarity on that..?) you'll need to go after him.

** maybe this means "you know what TYPE of guy you prefer"

No, nobody else. The only guy is my ex.
But after what happened between us I think there are no hopes anymore.
I am not sure if I have clarity anyway. I am really confused.

Before our big fight I asked: Will he come back to me? 40 <1,4> 19 I think the answer showed that he will get rid of me.
After our fight I asked: Will he come back to me? 11 <4> 34 I don't think so...
"Do you see in the future to have relationship with x?" 51 <2,4,5> 60 I think it's obvious that we will remain apart 60.
Should I hope that we will be together again? 25 uc Big no?
but.. We will be together after a long time? 9 <4> 1 And this answer has confused me.

I know that I want my ex.. but I believe it's over for good. Do you see any hope here?

and 2 more questions that they have confused me more:
Will something change between us? 27<2,5> 61 nourishment to inner truth..
Will our situation be improved? 11 <4,5> 43 line 5 looks so auspicious..

Now you know why I am so confused.. and yes I believe that I have clarity that our relationship is over for good but I am wondering if line 4 of hexagram 17 refers to my confusion about my ex.

I share the casts with you in case they could help you andyou could help me to have clarity.

I think I have solved this confusing riddle.

Your initial questions on this thread were about if you will generally be with someone, ever, or not. These initial questions were not about your ex. However, your ex is in the picture, big time, and you probably half-included him, in your mind, in your questions. So, back to your very first question:

I am confused and I worry that I will remain single for the rest of my life
17.3.4 > 63

17.3 - to get a strong man, you need to lose the 'little boy'. You can't have both at the same time, one needs to go. I bet that if you ask yourself, "what does my ideal guy look and feel like?", the answer most probably isn't "someone who plays power games with me, rejects me, hurts me, and is full of whims". Am I betting right? A strong man is someone mature, a little boy is someone immature. If you want a mature man, you can't get him - except if you get rid of the little boy first, and I believe the little boy is your whimsical ex.

17.4 - since there are no other guys in the situation, then this refers simply to your own confusion, and various ways forward, choosing which way to follow. In 17.4 the path "appears" to be clear and right, but it's not. Wilhelm comments that the line refers to dishonest people, flatterers, who seek personal advantage. In your heart you know what type of man you really want. And yet you are confused and somehow believe that your ex is the type of man that you really want.

hidden line 49.4 - a change of government. Who has the upper hand changes. 49 shows a battle between two opposing things. The little boy had the upper hand - if you want to ever find a new relationship, the mature man will have to win and displace the little boy completely.

63 - everything is in its right place. I do believe that as soon as you completely get rid of the ex, you will find someone who actually is what you are truly looking for.


As about your ex, I believe that your 'relationship' could very well continue.
But, as it is. This is who he is, and this is what he has to offer, you've seen it already.
So if this is what you want in your future, you can have it.

(before the fight) Will he come back to me? 40.1.4 > 19 Yes if you initiate it.
(after the fight) Will he come back to me? 11.4 > 34 Yes, because he wants to take advantage of you.
Do you see in the future to have relationship with x? 51.2.4.5 > 60 A limited type, full of shocks.
Should I hope that we will be together again? 25 unchanging Not as a proper couple.
We will be together after a long time? 9.4 > 1 If you initiate it, the whole circus will keep repeating.
Will something change between us? 27.2.5 > 61 Looking for food in the wrong place and remaining hungry... no.
Will our situation be improved? 11.4.5 > 43 Together with someone for profit. Then a marriage, and getting rid of a female. I don't think so... sounds like he will dump you 'after a marriage' (?).

As about your second original question on this thread, in the light of the above, it sounds like it refers to your ex. After a fight, you go after someone, and the situation continues. In my own experience with 3.4 > 17, the female going after the male does work. However, not in the long run. I've never seen any great final result with this particular cast.

WoW Diamanda..

So let's take it step by step..

"Your initial questions on this thread were about if you will generally be with someone, ever, or not. These initial questions were not about your ex. However, your ex is in the picture, big time, and you probably half-included him, in your mind, in your questions."

- You are absolutely right

"I am confused and I worry that I will remain single for the rest of my life
17.3.4 > 63

17.3 - to get a strong man, you need to lose the 'little boy'. You can't have both at the same time, one needs to go. I bet that if you ask yourself, "what does my ideal guy look and feel like?", the answer most probably isn't "someone who plays power games with me, rejects me, hurts me, and is full of whims". Am I betting right? A strong man is someone mature, a little boy is someone immature. If you want a mature man, you can't get him - except if you get rid of the little boy first, and I believe the little boy is your whimsical ex.

17.4 - since there are no other guys in the situation, then this refers simply to your own confusion, and various ways forward, choosing which way to follow. In 17.4 the path "appears" to be clear and right, but it's not. Wilhelm comments that the line refers to dishonest people, flatterers, who seek personal advantage. In your heart you know what type of man you really want. And yet you are confused and somehow believe that your ex is the type of man that you really want.

hidden line 49.4 - a change of government. Who has the upper hand changes. 49 shows a battle between two opposing things. The little boy had the upper hand - if you want to ever find a new relationship, the mature man will have to win and displace the little boy completely.

63 - everything is in its right place. I do believe that as soon as you completely get rid of the ex, you will find someone who actually is what you are truly looking for."

-About line 17.3 I am worried maybe I am the immature. I didn't behave so well to him. I know that my behavior was the reason of our big fight.

" In your heart you know what type of man you really want. And yet you are confused and somehow believe that your ex is the type of man that you really want."
- You are so right! I believe inside me that he can be the ideal partner for me.. Unfortunately.

"(before the fight) Will he come back to me? 40.1.4 > 19 Yes if you initiate it."
-Absolutely I won't initiate any contact with him! Anyway he has blocked me everywhere.

"(after the fight) Will he come back to me? 11.4 > 34 Yes, because he wants to take advantage of you."
- Hmm that's interesting. Perhaps it doesn't refer to me. let's see...

"Do you see in the future to have relationship with x? 51.2.4.5 > 60 A limited type, full of shocks."
-And now I'm really worried what kind of shocks are coming. Limited type and limited time I guess..

"Should I hope that we will be together again? 25 unchanging Not as a proper couple."
- Yes, It seems to me don't expect anything.. No hopes.. No entanglement.

"We will be together after a long time? 9.4 > 1 If you initiate it, the whole circus will keep repeating."
- This is surely what I want to avoid.

"Will something change between us? 27.2.5 > 61 Looking for food in the wrong place and remaining hungry... no."
- I agree!

"Will our situation be improved? 11.4.5 > 43 Together with someone for profit. Then a marriage, and getting rid of a female. I don't think so... sounds like he will dump you 'after a marriage' (?)."
- This is what I believe too... and what I am afraid. Perhaps he will be with someone else for profit.. or me? He will 'marry' and then he will get rid of me. (But he already did it...)

"In my own experience with 3.4 > 17, the female going after the male does work. However, not in the long run. I've never seen any great final result with this particular cast. "
- No way. I said this is the end with him. It's over. I am so disappointed. So why I am so worried that I will remain single.

I asked after our fight will I remain single? 44 <2,5> 56 do not marry the woman.. So why I am so worried. I see only loneliness in my future

I am not able to edit my post for some reason. Could somebody help me with it?
I would like to add sth

"(before the fight) Will he come back to me? 40.1.4 > 19 Yes if you initiate it."
-Absolutely I won't initiate any contact with him! Anyway he has blocked me everywhere.

Line 4 refers sth about trust. The truth is that I blame him for everything and I don't trust whatever he says to me. I don't trust him at all. I am so longing for the one that he will deserves my trust and he is not.

Diamanda I would like to see this.. In relation of the answer 11 <4,5> 43 Together with someone for profit. Then a marriage, and getting rid of a female. I don't think so... sounds like he will dump you 'after a marriage' (?)

I feel that there is another woman in his life. He insists that there is no one of course.. I had asked before our fight If there is another woman and he is hiding it: 40 <1,3> 34
I had interpreted as YES. I searched on the forum about line 3 and I found a translation from Charly https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?4504-What-does-40-3-mean/page2
post #16

"The character here translated as ROBBER, that also can mean BANDIT or INVADER is Η kou4. It has an old variant Ό

The upper component of both variants depicts a ROOF, meaning HIDDEN and also COVERING

In both variants the lower component at the left right depicts a man with a BIG HEAD and a NOTICEABLE BIG FOOT, phallic, of course, associated with male potency, like a crab's hook, that gives the appearance of a CRIPPLED MAN. Nobody's perfect.

The lower component of Η, at the right depicts a HAND holding a vertical STROKE with a BRANCH, meaning BONE DIVINATION, but that has a clear ITHYPHALLIC SHAPE. Maybe a hand holding a sexual talisman.

The lower component of Ό variant, at the right is the WOMAN radical, that sometimes means EVIL but whose ancient form depicts a NAKED KNEELING WOMAN with TIED HANDS. War booty, slave or kidnapped bride.

Can imagine that the main intention of the robbers were of sexual nature. Most if not all the ROBBERS in the Changes were WIFE-GRABBERS."

2 points:
roof = sth hidden
a NAKED KNEELING WOMAN with TIED HANDS = there is someone for having sex

Moreover, I have hex 34 as entanglement the opposite of 25... So I am certain that there is another woman..

Do you believe I'm right?

I'll agree with you nAstWr, there sounds to be another woman (although not a proper relationship).
However, don't let this matter to you.
What matters is to realise that he consistently behaves badly to you.

I'm glad to hear you don't trust him, indeed you shouldn't.
I'm also glad to hear it's over for you and you want to find someone else.

Worrying about remaining single has no benefit actually - it's a waste of time.
Instead, I would suggest to you to start taking practical steps to go out there and meet someone new!
It's spring - get inspired, get optimistic, doll yourself up and go out there and strut your stuff, alright??

Oh look what I have found diamanda https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?24069-Till-when-50-lt-1-gt-14
I'm sure yi was prepared me about the end with my ex.
Post #7
41.3 there is another woman and so why he deleted me from everywhere

and #9
4.2 I think it shows that there is an other woman indeed.. So why he left me.

Finally, all make sense!

nAstWr said:

Diamanda I would like to see this.. In relation of the answer 11 <4,5> 43 Together with someone for profit. Then a marriage, and getting rid of a female. I don't think so... sounds like he will dump you 'after a marriage' (?)

I feel that there is another woman in his life. He insists that there is no one of course.. I had asked before our fight If there is another woman and he is hiding it: 40 <1,3> 34
...

Click to expand...

Hi, nAstWr:

Thanks for quoting my post. But it was not written answering your consult. It lacks of the proper context. It says nothing about if you will remain single. Don't worry.

First of all: H.40 解 jie3 is LIBERATION.
And the Changes always speak to us and about us. It's about YOUR liberation.

The sentence says:

40.1:

40.3

Remaining single or getting married depends on you.
Beware not to fall in slavery.
Can achieve life and love if you choose LIBERATION.

All the best,


Charly
___________________________
(1) WEST in ancient China was the region where sexual customs were more free.
SOUTH were the regions with warm sunny climate where the living beings flourished.

I'm temporarily unable to type chinese. If you want it I will port as soon as possible.

Ch.

P.D.:
Listen to Diamanda, she is a wise woman!

Ch.

Charly what a honor..! thank you so much for taking the time to post here. I understand what you mean, but my answer 40 <1,3> 34 was about my ex and if there is an other woman. However, you are right. The answer could be referred to my liberation from my burden- ex, with the resulting hex 34 entanglement I am not sure...I need a lot of time to get used of it.

I asked 2 days ago what will happen in my life after my separation from my ex: 41 <5> 61
It is very auspicious.. Isn't it?

PS I agree.. diamanda is one of the most invaluable members of the forum...