a) General Diagnosis of the relationship between X and I

35 unchanging, Progress

She may let you get better aquainted.

b) Qualification of my position within the relation

19 unchanging, Approach

You probably feel hopeful at the moment that something will come of your effort to court her. Make hay while the sun shines. Otherwise you will miss the boat.

c) Qualification of X's position within the relation

9.2,3,4 > 25 The Taming Power of the Small to Innocence

She is unsure about all this, probably busy, so she waits for a better time till she is ready or has some free time to meet you. She is neutral at the moment, she has no feelings either way about you because at the moment there is no relationship.

d) What is the best path for me to take related to this relationship?

50.3 > 64 The Caldron to Before Completion.

Your noble intentions are invisible to her, you will not get close to her, so if you are not very, very careful, you could end up with egg all over your face. Think real careful before proceeding further with this non relationship. Danger, danger, Will Robinson!

Hi dicky

dickydoo said:

Are you saying my intentions are not totally honest?

Click to expand...

No... I'll explain better (even if this issue had been covered for autumn and bruce already)

You have a romantic intention towards she. Those answers seems negative to achieve that intention. That was a polite way to say: seems she won't accept you as romantic couple.

dickydoo said:

35 unchanging, Progress

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The time for progress started in earth (between Feb 1st and March 16, 2006) and will rule until Fire (between December 17, 2006 and January 31, 2007)
So, it is a present time.

35 is about pregress due to cooperaration. But, this hexagram is not one of the "couple-core" hexagrams. Of course, every hexagram could talk about a couple, if the question is for a couple But here, because you want to know the POSIBILITY of being a couple, seems like: you can have a cooperative relationship with her, but not a romantic-couple kind of relation.

Right now, the relation is in line 5 (ruling in October and November, 2006). reflect on the advice of that line: don't worrie about gains or losses. Wilhelm talks about some people that can feel guilty for not go forward and gain mayor profits in the situation. But is better not to think like that. What you have NOW is the best you can have NOW.. accept that reality.

Line 6 (will rule in December 2006 and January 2007) advice you don't try to advance by force or with only tha basis of your own wish. Otherwise, you would find humiliation.

Since this is an unchanging hexagram, the situation described in the answer is objective, and you better accept that and not fight against it.

This answer, congruent with the previous, seems like no posibilities for a romantic relationship (until February, 2007... when February arrives, you could made a new General Diagnosis of the relation, to find out the posibilities of the new situation)

dickydoo said:

19 unchanging, Approach

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Simple, you want to aproach to her.
Now, if you look the ruling lines, you could reflect in one thing: to find good fortune in your wish to aproach to her, the aproach need to be from both sides. That implies: if the aproach is only from just one of the sides, the ommen of good fortune won't be a reality.

dickydoo said:

9.2,3,4 > 25 The Taming Power of the Small to Innocence

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She wants to Tame your aproach (9) because she wants to remain untied (25)
Therefore, she would act with gentleness (image of 9) but without allowing the rain (judgment of 9)
is not that she dislike you... only that she don't want a romantic tie. If you accept that limit (accept to tame your aproach), anxiety would dissapear (line 5), otherwise, fightings would arrive (line 4)

dickydoo said:

50.3 > 64 The Caldron to Before Completion.

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Since the question is for an advice, I would see first the Image: correct the way you are within the relation.
Line 3 reinforces that: you need to change the way to handle this situation, otherwise even the good things within it won't be enjoyables.
Is better for you to settle as a goal to start a new era about this (hex 64 as tendential)

I hadn't read the original therad until now. 56.6 was a pretty bad answer (you could lose you place of confort, therefore is better don't have great expectations about this ==> hex 62 as tendential)

I'm sorry that a good intentioned but misleaded interpretation had given you a false hope.

Best wishes

Thanks willowfox and jesed. I guess I'll have to accept the vibe I've been receiving from her for a while, and try to quiet my innards down.

People have a tendency to glom on to Hexagram name and take it for the core meaning of the hexagram. This can lead to enough confusion. But when that name is a bad or misleading translation of the hexagram name it gets really confusing. Opposition is often used to translate both 12 and 38, and in neither case is this a good or clarifying word. Take a harder look at LiSe's "Looking Askance". The forces involved here are pulling apart, not opposing each other, as they are at Hex 12 too. Estrangement is a better translation for 38 than opposition, but with the understanding that there is a positive side: diversification, or the rule that we all tend to become more unique as we evolve.

I was surprised at the original interpretations Dicky got about 56.6, but it seemed like a novel way to look at it.

I have always loved Lise's title for this hexagram 38, it so perfectly describes the feeling one gets when seemingly surrounded by others/another who simply don't recognize your essence, who see you as "alien." And lines 2 and 4 are he moments when , feeling like an oddball, you stumble onto another with whom you share things in common.

BUt 38.6 is definitely a hopeful line. If I were doing this reading, I would tend to agree that this woman has gotten a very wrong impression of Dicky, she "friendzoned" him because of her suspicions. BUt with time and patience, she will thaw out and see that her suspicions are unwarranted. Give her time.

50.3 is the warning that "impatience could spoil the opportunity." with proper handling it can be a successful venture. nothing cures like time and love. the overall direction is 35, and Dicky's position is 19.....just oversee from a distance. a love that waits patiently and from a small distance is a very attracting force. MOving forward too suddenly causes her to fly the coop 56.6

OR maybe Dicky, you are the one who flies the coop, and burns the nest, when things go too fast, when a women is too available. sounds like she may know this on some level.

listener said:

BUt 38.6 is definitely a hopeful line. If I were doing this reading, I would tend to agree that this woman has gotten a very wrong impression of Dicky, she "friendzoned" him because of her suspicions. BUt with time and patience, she will thaw out and see that her suspicions are unwarranted. Give her time.

50.3 is the warning that "impatience could spoil the opportunity." with proper handling it can be a successful venture. nothing cures like time and love. the overall direction is 35, and Dicky's position is 19.....just oversee from a distance. a love that waits patiently and from a small distance is a very attracting force. MOving forward too suddenly causes her to fly the coop 56.6

OR maybe Dicky, you are the one who flies the coop, and burns the nest, when things go too fast, when a women is too available. sounds like she may know this on some level.

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Thanks for hopeful diagnosis. I ran into her at a club tonight. She was very buddy-buddy and talkative with me, even offering to be my "wing-woman" for the night. She also told me that her ex, who moved away was back in town that day and that she might meet up with him later on. She said she was very messed up at the moment. It really explains a lot.

I can definitely identify with the last line. I run like hell when that happens, and it happens most of the time. It's funny because I mentioned that to her tonight about how it's no fun when it's too easy when we were talking about the other females in the club.

I'll just keep waiting in the wings until the time is ripe. I'm very comfortable hanging out with her so it's not a problem. Or maybe as time goes by I'll lose interest...we'll see. I really do think she is a catch and worth waiting for though.

BTW, some weird stuff has happened lately. I had originally heard the girl singing at the jazz lounge (the one I invited A to at the beginning of this thread) a few months ago, and I wrote about her on my blog back then. Last night I received a comment on that old post, from the singer herself! She had been googling herself and found my post, and wrote saying she appreciated the kind words. Funny stuff. This is the second time in a few weeks where I have thought about someone I hadn't talked to or seen in a while and they contacted me soon after.

dickydoo said:

. I ran into her at a club tonight. She was very buddy-buddy and talkative with me, even offering to be my "wing-woman" for the night. She also told me that her ex, who moved away was back in town that day and that she might meet up with him later on. She said she was very messed up at the moment. It really explains a lot.

.

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(what is a wing woman ? lol I led a sheltered life)

Haha...when you go out with the boys and you see a girl to want to approach, you usually have a wingman who will come with you to distract your target's friends. If a guy goes into a group of girls alone, the other girls get jealous and start "cockblocking" you by pulling your target away so you definitely need someone else to come along to keep them occupied. He doesn't have to be interested in the friend -- he's there to help your further your cause. Can you tell that I've studied this stuff before? =)

In her case she wanted me to pick out a girl so she could introduce said girl to me and get the ball rolling. It never happened as I told her I didn't see much that interested me out there.

She definitely still has the wrong impression of me

She definitely still has the wrong impression of me

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Naaah! she was just flirting

Thanks for the explanation. I, too, was very curious about 'wing people'

Mmm Hmm..

I stick by my original reading, with one exception- instead of 19 being paternal, it's the upward ascent of a roller coaster ride.

There's two possible reasons why she would be so put off by the idea of hooking up with you. One- she's not attracted to you. Two- she's afraid of being used. It's two. I don't think she'd be talking about the "terrible time she's having with her ex', (boo-hoo), and making such wholesome and genuine offers to be your "wingwoman" if she wasn't feeling you out.

autumn said:

Mmm Hmm..

I stick by my original reading, with one exception- instead of 19 being paternal, it's the upward ascent of a roller coaster ride.

There's two possible reasons why she would be so put off by the idea of hooking up with you. One- she's not attracted to you. Two- she's afraid of being used. It's two. I don't think she'd be talking about the "terrible time she's having with her ex', (boo-hoo), and making such wholesome and genuine offers to be your "wingwoman" if she wasn't feeling you out.

Click to expand...

Hmm...well it's definitely not number one. She thinks I'm cute, and said so yesterday. She also made a point of making her presence known every time she passed by me, either by coming to say hi or giving a squeeze on the arm. I could definitely construe all her comments as feeling me out, but I'll take it easy and go with the flow. I'm becoming a good friend and there's nothing wrong with starting out that way.

dickydoo said:

Hmm...well it's definitely not number one. She thinks I'm cute, and said so yesterday. She also made a point of making her presence known every time she passed by me, either by coming to say hi or giving a squeeze on the arm. I could definitely construe all her comments as feeling me out, but I'll take it easy and go with the flow. I'm becoming a good friend and there's nothing wrong with starting out that way.

Click to expand...

Good for you.

jesed, I wanted to thank you for your advice on how to question the yi:

> a) General Diagnosis of the relationship between X and I
> b) Qualification of my position within the relation
> c) Qualification of X's position within the relation
> d) What is the best path for me to take related to this relationship?

I followed this for my own case and found it very helpful.

Many thanks

I thought it would be nice to provide an update to you all...

Everything seemed to progress nicely, albeit slowly until December of that year (2006). She then suddenly sprung on me the fact that had gotten back together with her ex, and moved from Toronto to Vancouver to be with him about 6 months later. They got engaged.

I've heard through the grapevine that she has since gone to Hong Kong for school, and as of last year has broken off her engagement and is single.

I think it was a good thing in the end that we never got together, as this woman was not ready to be in a relationship.

Amazing that after 3 years you return to tell us what happened ! I don't think anyone has ever done that before, not after 3 years. You should be awarded some sort of bonus or medal or a free evening in a jazz club all drinks paid for courtesy of Clarity...or something...with a member of your choice as 'wing man'

anyway shes single again hmmm
hmmm

you star

Dd,

you are a star for writing a follow-up so long after the event - thankyou. I wish a few more people would do this.

Good luck Lucia

I've noticed in all the threads I have searched that this is a common theme; people post for advice and don't report their results. I was hoping to buck the trend.

Anyway, I've moved on from this one and have now questions about another girl (which is why I'm back on here ). I'll post about it soon in another thread.

Oh yes, I did end up going to the jazz club with her...along with her friends