Not fish in the tank, ir is it?

[Samgirl]

Hello Forum,

I have been reading an excellent thread about 44.4 that has helped me to understand the meaning of "not fish in the tank" mentioned in this line. I have been trying to apply it to my question and got a little confused though.

There's a situation that I have been going around for some time, and asked a few times to the Yi about it, and because of the readings and my own attitude it seems that I am all over the surface of this situation, looking as its depth, but never getting into it. I am focusing on things that I can recognize as irrelevant while I can sense I have a "goldmine" in front of my eyes but I just keep dancing around, always in the surface.

I can perceive this attitude in myself, but I don't know how to break this superficial trend and dive in this situation. Today, I asked "what is my attitude towards this person" and I received 13.4.5 > 22. I understood once again that my friendliness doesn't go too far, too deep. As I mentioned, I received on other readings similar responses, particularly my lack of commitment towards a situation that is a lot more bigger of what I can see (I don't know what this "bigger" means though, as, like the reading says, I just keep on the surface of things). Most of the readings I made about this specific connection are positive, although they remind me to be humble, to accept what I receive, to trust,... and yet, when I ask about my attitude, I receive that I am not deepening enough what this connection is about.

Well, today I am trying to fix, if possible, this. I asked: what can I do to deepen my feelings towards X and I received 44.4. After reading that thread and other resources, it seemed to me a description of my attitude. I also thought about "no fish in the tank = there's nothing to deepen here". I am confused about this answer.

Just to clarify this answer, I asked "is there fish in the tank in my relationship with this person" and I received 51.5 > 17. i don't know if I over-complicated things here, but I am more confused that ever. I do feel that these answers are referring to inner aspects from myself that I am not grasping...

Just FYI: this is not a romantic relationship per se, it is a very important connection in my life for sure. I don't want to put any limit into as where is this going.

Thanks for your help... I know there are a lot of good minds and souls in this forum who can understand this a lot better that I do.

Sam

 

[meng]

Hi Sam,

I see two possible interpretations for your "no fish" answer. 1) add more fish 2) remove the fish that are there in the tank.

Usually when I've received 44.4 it was a sign that I needed more fish, more earthiness, more karmic attachment, more timber in the oven to eventually fuel higher or more subtle things. An artist begins with crude materials and refines them into an art form. Nature begins also with crude materials and refines them into a person. People begin with crude materials and refine them into a relationship.

Bruce

 

[Samgirl]

Hi Sam,

I see two possible interpretations for your "no fish" answer. 1) add more fish 2) remove the fish that are there in the tank.

Usually when I've received 44.4 it was a sign that I needed more fish, more earthiness, more karmic attachment, more timber in the oven to eventually fuel higher or more subtle things. An artist begins with crude materials and refines them into an art form. Nature begins also with crude materials and refines them into a person. People begin with crude materials and refine them into a relationship.

Bruce

Thank you, Bruce. I think you hit the nail because what you say resonates strongly within. However, I cannot feel or see it clearly and I think this is the problem -like if I have a veil in my eyes and and keep looking at the material of the veil and forget that what I want is to see what it is behind.

Would you be so kind to elaborate your thought (like if you were talking to a kinder garden kid)?

 

[meng]

Would you be so kind to elaborate your thought (like if you were talking to a kinder garden kid)?

I speak fluent kindergarten; it's my native tongue.

But are you asking me to color inside the lines I've given?

 

[Samgirl]

I speak fluent kindergarten; it's my native tongue.

But are you asking me to color inside the lines I've given?

:bag: I am still too dumb to get it... so no hope for my understanding?

 

[meng]

Well, if I get into the particulars, quite frankly, I'd only be guessing. I don't know the more sensitive details of what this relationship is about. The devil's in those details, right?

 

[meng]

Let me ask you, and no need to answer me, just answer to yourself: what is missing in the exchange or relationship? That's where I'd start looking for the specific meaning of fish. But the thrust of 44 is the woman going after what she wants, not necessarily for the good of what or whom she pursues. Not a bad thing nor a good thing, just an image of what it is. That's what's missing.

 

[diamanda]

Hi Samgirl,

The way i see it 44:4 speaks of the need we all have to have a variety
of things and people in our lives. It's impossible we only hang around
with totally compatible people, who cover our each and every need.
The more people we know, the richer our lives are. Everyone has
something to contribute. And if we shut out everyone who is not a
'perfect match' for us, then we are certainly missing out on a lot of
things - both practical things, and more abstract ones. So since your
relationship with this person is not of a romatic nature, i'd say that
even if you don't feel you really love this person deeply, or whatever
else it is that you'd like to feel about this person, well, you don't really
need to. It's just impossible to feel the same towards everyone. There
is definitely some value in this person, for you, so i think the answer
is telling you that even if you don't feel deep involvement, that's fine.

Your attitude towards them, 13.4.5 > 22. You stay away and observe
them for quite a while, and perhaps you're waiting to see if they are
indeed 'an old friend', someone who you can really relate to. But in
the end you feel they're not, you just can't feel any substance there.
And that's fine. 22 is still very pleasing, and it also speaks of good and
gracious social manners. We do need this in our lives. If we are not
hermits living in a cave or something, then we do need to maintain
good social relationships, and be nice even to people we don't feel
100% compatible with.

So, i agree with you, your 44:4 answer does say 'nothing to deepen
here'. Also, i find the question strange in itself. These things do come
from the heart... You can't force your heart to feel connection with
someone. If, after spending so much time with this person, you still
can't feel it in you, then it's just not on. Forcing a 'true bond' is simply
impossible.

If there are any romantic undertones here at all, then the whole
meaning would change considerably and would become much more
complicated...

 

[meng]

If there are any romantic undertones here at all, then the whole
meaning would change considerably and would become much more
complicated...

Slippery slope, ain't it?

 

[Samgirl]

Bruce, I see... Let's say that this is a teacher/pupil relationship that has been very beneficial to me. I'm in the learner position, and the subject is love (expressing, feeling, sharing) in its higher manifestation. Because of this that I am studying with him, I am very conscious that I didn't get it yet. I see improvements on myself, for sure, but I feel like I am still flirting with the idea, enjoying what I learn but I am not taking it further than that. You see... it is about learning how to become a channel for providing love and care, how to feel safe and create a safety place for everybody, so people can feel safe to open themselves and feel the love that is all around us. Ok - this sounded like a slogan perhaps, but it is truth, and I can say that I have been able to feel this truth... but still, I feel like I am in front of a deep lake with sweet drinkable water, and I am just wetting my hands to taste it again and again, while, in fact, there is a big pot besides me, and even when I am thirsty, I am not drinking.

Summing up... I am having a lot of "fun" with this person, but sensing that there is a lot more than fun in here. The door is open, but I just never pass through it. I cannot really explain what is it what I sense -possibly because it is new to me. Basically, I feel that I have been quite shallow on this, not too bad, just keeping the "niceness".

 

[maremaria]

Hi Sam,

I had a similar experience with your. Don’t know your story but for me it was about a relationship with a person and I got 44.4. That thread you read was about it. There was an attraction or affinity to be more correct and a resistance too. I wanted a “fish in the tank’ but also I resist to let it in. It was something bigger that I though I would handle. Maybe its your case too, maybe not. It took me some time to understand that line and much more to really stop resisting. There was an empty space inside me; something I was missing and that person had it. I knew it from the first time I met that individual and time reveal what that line was about. Its not easy to put it in words , but please keep in mind that this was my case.

Hope it won’t confuse you more.

Maria

p.s Sam, i wrote this before reading your last post

 

[Samgirl]

Hi Samgirl,

The way i see it 44:4 speaks of the need we all have to have a variety
of things and people in our lives. It's impossible we only hang around
with totally compatible people, who cover our each and every need.
The more people we know, the richer our lives are. Everyone has
something to contribute. And if we shut out everyone who is not a
'perfect match' for us, then we are certainly missing out on a lot of
things - both practical things, and more abstract ones. So since your
relationship with this person is not of a romatic nature, i'd say that
even if you don't feel you really love this person deeply, or whatever
else it is that you'd like to feel about this person, well, you don't really
need to. It's just impossible to feel the same towards everyone. There
is definitely some value in this person, for you, so i think the answer
is telling you that even if you don't feel deep involvement, that's fine.

Your attitude towards them, 13.4.5 > 22. You stay away and observe
them for quite a while, and perhaps you're waiting to see if they are
indeed 'an old friend', someone who you can really relate to. But in
the end you feel they're not, you just can't feel any substance there.
And that's fine. 22 is still very pleasing, and it also speaks of good and
gracious social manners. We do need this in our lives. If we are not
hermits living in a cave or something, then we do need to maintain
good social relationships, and be nice even to people we don't feel
100% compatible with.

So, i agree with you, your 44:4 answer does say 'nothing to deepen
here'. Also, i find the question strange in itself. These things do come
from the heart... You can't force your heart to feel connection with
someone. If, after spending so much time with this person, you still
can't feel it in you, then it's just not on. Forcing a 'true bond' is simply
impossible.

If there are any romantic undertones here at all, then the whole
meaning would change considerably and would become much more
complicated...

Thank you, Diamanda! I think I have not be too clear on my explanation. Sorry about that. It is not that I am looking for loving when I don't feel like. I am actually very fond of this person. I was explaining to Bruce about it. I was reading that line 4 corresponds to the heart. And it might describe perhaps more clearly what I feel... It's like I don't let myself to go beyond the surface, so I feel this niceness and it is very cosy, but I've notice that when things go a little deeper, I tend to escape on my niceness, then, it is something I can "control".

So my question was about finding a way of how to jump to the pool. I know it sounds silly, but I always find 10.000 excuses to avoid the depth when it relates to love.

 

[Samgirl]

Let me ask you, and no need to answer me, just answer to yourself: what is missing in the exchange or relationship? That's where I'd start looking for the specific meaning of fish. But the thrust of 44 is the woman going after what she wants, not necessarily for the good of what or whom she pursues. Not a bad thing nor a good thing, just an image of what it is. That's what's missing.

Well, this is a good way of starting to reason it... So it might be that my feelings do now deepen enough in this case because the "fish is missing"? Perhaps it was a lot simpler of what I thought...

 

[diamanda]

Well, im not sure what kind of love this is you are trying to 'learn'. Love
needs an object, a 'target'. If this is about general love, about the way
you relate to the world at large, then why would you need lessons? If
this is the case, and this is the love you are trying to 'learn', then this
44:4 answer is telling you that it depends on inner affinity, according
to which you will love some things/people more than others.

If the purpose of your lessons is to learn more about relationships love,
this is to tell you not to be a 44, not to be the one to make the first
move. Because the male subject of 44:4, although he knows that he
needs a wife, he will still not come to you, but realise he does have this
need, and head off and do a proper 57, ie he wants to be the one who
pursues the lady.

Im really not sure why you are blaming yourself here, for not feeling
deeply about this. This sounds like a very abstract theoretical lesson
here, and i really don't believe that anyone can teach you how to be
deep and loving. Life can teach you that, a lot of good and bad people
can teach you that, and ultimately your own self can teach you that,
but why try to force things in this manner? Force love..? It just sounds
impossible to me. I think perhaps you should go easy on yourself, and
not take this too seriously. In my opinion what you need here is not
force yourself to take it more seriously, but that you're just fine not
taking this too seriously.

You will jump into the pool when you feel like it, and when it feels
right for you. Love comes from the heart. What is it that you feel that
is blocking your love? And the real question here is, your love towards
who/what?

 

[Samgirl]

I think perhaps you should go easy on yourself, and
not take this too seriously. In my opinion what you need here is not
force yourself to take it more seriously, but that you're just fine not
taking this too seriously.

I think you are right. I am taking this too seriously and got a lot of "thought"... too much. Learning how to love is not so weird to me though. I didn't go to specifics here, but as you said, I have learnt from people and circumstances how to approach love. What I am learning here has to do with it. My friend or teacher provides a safety "place" where one can express him/herself. Unfortunately not always our relationships bring the same (parents, lovers, etc.). Like with the therapist, where you can talk without being judge, here you can express your love without being hurt ("guaranteed"). So, for those who have sore hearts, is a good exercise for developing love and trust. It works!

Oh well... I got to confused today with so much thinking and my question was also confused now that I think it better... but thanks to all of you I have it somewhat clearer now.

 

[meng]

So my question was about finding a way of how to jump to the pool.

With the fish?

 

[Samgirl]

With the fish?

To the fish?

 

[Samgirl]

To the fish?

Didn't get it at first, duh.

 

[meng]

Sam, I'm going to venture out on a limb, just based on our pleasant exchange in this thread. Diamonda said something about going easy on yourself, and that felt right to me. I think 44.4, in this case, is telling you to be more assertive, to not be as shy, to not apologize for who you are or the way you are, to be more bold, confident and possibly assertive. Maybe "nice" isn't enough.

 

[Samgirl]

Sam, I'm going to venture out on a limb, just based on our pleasant exchange in this thread. Diamonda said something about going easy on yourself, and that felt right to me. I think 44.4, in this case, is telling you to be more assertive, to not be as shy, to not apologize for who you are or the way you are, to be more bold, confident and possibly assertive. Maybe "nice" isn't enough.

Thank you, Bruce... The problem is that I am so.. oops, did it again. Well... I think I am seeing your and Diamanda point even clearer. I have this little tridentish creature taking my thoughts more often that I would like. Thank you.