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42.1.3.5 to 52 Relationship

L

lizzy

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I asked I Ching this question:

What chances are there for a romantic relationship with X? (I know, a badly formed question again - still learning)

and got this answer:

42.1.3.5 to 52 Increasing to Stilling

I thought it unusual. What do you think? Does the second hex mean I should do nothing?
 

Trojina

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:confused:I'm afraid my incredulity blinds me to Yis answers.....the facts here are pretty over whelming that you will not be having a fulfilling romantic relationship with X aren't they ?

You haven't seen him for many years, you only have an online relationship, and you just found out his wife is pregnant http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=14657


whats not to understand ?

:confused:

However


Who am i in the end to say you will or you won't, strange things happen don't they


don't they ?


But in your shoes I'd take it as pretty obvious this is a non goer.

Taking into account lifes a funny thing and we can never know what will happen i suppose a smitten person can genuinally wonder despite only having an online relationship with the beloved and he being married with a baby on the way...if things may work out and they can be together ....so they may start asking the I Ching for predictions...and then with no sign from him they will come to rely on the I Chings predictions.......


...but do you really want to go down that road ? You don't need to be asking these questions IMO the facts speak for themselves.

If he was making actual suggestions to you about how he plans to be with you and leave his wife then it might look a bit more possible i suppose....but as it appears to me you are denying what is staring you in the face
 

Trojina

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and can you be friends ? http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=14747


will being 'friends' ever be enough....and in other thread on communication you said he doens't answer your emails for several weeks :confused:


don't give it any more time is my unsolicited opinion. If he volunteered the info that his wife is pregnant could be hes saying 'look I have responsibilities now'....and afterall he does.

I just read you only ever met once as teenagers.......and you think its a good idea that he abandons his wife and baby to have a romantic realtionship with you ?

This sounds uncredibly unreal on your part.
 
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Trojina

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I asked I Ching this question:

What chances are there for a romantic relationship with X? (I know, a badly formed question again - still learning)

and got this answer:

42.1.3.5 to 52 Increasing to Stilling

I thought it unusual. What do you think? Does the second hex mean I should do nothing?

and to address the reading...yes I think it asks you to still your self in the context of all this outpouring. Perhaps by stilling yourself you can access the benefits of the situation....if its friendship, though I have strong doubts there frankly. There is no reason for you to pursue this especially as he doesn't seem very keen ifhe doesn't answer you for weeks on end


Its hard for me to answer because I think his priority should clearly be his child which obviously includes supporting the mother of his child and not abandoning her for someone he only met once
 
L

lizzy

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Thank you for your answers, Trojan. Obviously I'm in a tough situation right now, I'm confused, and I ask all possible questions going in all possible directions. The question above is just one of them.

As strange as it may sound, we have more things going than just a flirt. If I stay around I can actively help his career, and that means helping supporting the child and the mother, too.

On the other hand, I've just learnt about it. I've been infatuated for some time, and I'm still emotional. Perhaps a week or a month from now I won't as much as want to open his email.
 

Trojina

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How do you get infatuated with someone you met once ? Are you in a tough situation ? Are you in any situation at all...I mean you don't know him so how is it 'tough'.

If you are emotional its not really about him is it as you only met him the one time. You are pouring in emotional energy maybe thats what the 42 is about...maybe its genuine emotion on your part (42.5) but I don't think you help it by calling it 'tough'. Theres alot of situations that are tough in life....this isn't one of them
 
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L

lizzy

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The thing about feelings is that they're feelings, they're not rational. So there's no point telling others that they can't feel what they feel because they're not reasonable or something. I just feel this way. Full stop. Obviously months of correspondence did the trick.

You talk to the other person, you open, you want to be close to him. It's not that different from meeting someone in person. In fact, I'd say it's sometimes even more intense, because you get more quality time. You know, people may meet daily, but they don't always spend all the time on connecting, serious talking etc, in emails you do.

I also have a close friend from another country, and for a couple years we went on without meeting each other in person. Would you say that she can't be my friend because I didn't see her so I don't know her? I did meet her eventually and it was fun, but I wouldn't say it changed anything in our friendship. It was as good before as after.
 

Trojina

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The thing about feelings is that they're feelings, they're not rational. So there's no point telling others that they can't feel what they feel because they're not reasonable or something. I just feel this way. Full stop. Obviously months of correspondence did the trick.

.


Yes but your feelings don't create his reality or the reality of the situation....they are your feelings. So I was saying whatever your feelings the reality of the situation was that it seemed an extremely tenuous connection where romance seemed very unlikely.

But you were still asking about romance :confused:

As its your 4th thread on the topic i felt someone should point out the obvious just incase it had escaped you. Probably it hadn't ....but i don't see the point of loads of threads on this guys intentions etc...


then again its pretty much all this section is about so I'll leave you to it
 
L

lizzy

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Trojan, you're quite emotional too, even though you're not involved in this situation in any way. For example, you insist that he doesn't care because he didn't write to me for a couple of weeks, but you don't want to see the fact that it was me who asked him not to write until he sorted things out. For some time now he's back to writing several times a day.

I understand your point of view. I'm just in this unhappy position of being somewhere else in this entire situation. Obviously I must make some decisions, and I'm doing my best to think things through before I decide on anything. Clearly, you have already decided, whereas I appear to be a slow thinker. Give me some time.

Yes, I ask many questions, because I have them. You don't have to answer them if you don't like them. However, if it's against the rules of the forum, please advise me on how many questions I'm entitled to ask.

Peace!
 

Trojina

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I'm not involved in your situation but I have been involved with this shared reading section so know where this is likley headed. Any emotion stems from the fact of wishing this section wasn't full of women asking about men they don't know....a wish I should have long since relinquished as a foolish dream :rolleyes:


After question 999 on a man who isn't giving you any clear clues as to his intentions theres pretty much no sense in asking people here to decipher them because when you get to X amount, without reference to the basic reality in the situation, it all becomes a bit meaningless. if you cast alot on the same topic your answers get less clear not more clear....when you present them to others to interpret for you they can get less clear still

You are only on question 4 not 999 ;), you don' t like the reality you see and you are taking time to get it to the shape where it looks a bit more palatable and asking others to help with that palatibilty. Thats not against any forum rules....nor is asking 999 questions on the same relationship and asking people to make it look right...not against any rules just a tad ill advised IMO.


Peace to you too....I will trouble you no more. :bows:
 
L

lizzy

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Trojan, thank you for the clarification, but I'm not asking about his intentions. I'm asking about my situation because I have decisions to make.

I know his intentions for now, and he wants me to make decisions. I know, too, I must decide. It's not what you see here, because you think the guy's decided and I just don't want to go away. It's not like that, really, and if it were I wouldn't burden you with my questions.

I hoped asking I Ching and this forum members for help might help me see the various options from various angles. I don't know why you think I'm trying to validate this particular one (romance) over others. I wrote in another thread I was rather opposed the idea of staying around him.

But, perhaps, for some reason, I should. As I said earlier, we have more things going on than just the romantic side. Perhaps the other ones are important and should be exhausted before I leave. I just don't know. I only think it doesn't harm to think things through before coming to a decision. Which is why I'm asking for help in reading I Ching answers. It happened in the past that I was decided about something but I Ching advised me otherwise, and whether I followed my own mind or I Ching, time always proved I Ching right.
 

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