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22.1.2 > 18 sexual chemistry

chingching

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I felt it, but I don't trust my instincts about what he felt, so I asked does he find me attractive (i know its not the best question but I couldn't help myself)

I've searched the forum archives and cant find anything on this combo

22.1.2 > 18

whilst my impression is that its not good (18) I'm intrigued by the translation under the judgement on LiSe's website:

GU: Poison, venom, harm, putrefaction, decay, to bewitch, to enchant.

can it be enchanting beauty? please? hahaha. or my beauty opened up a can of worms? or he initially found me attractive and now all he sees is decay.... :( or i used to be beautiful and now i'm too old :( :(, cougarish

Whilst I find Hex 18 really interesting I really didn't want it to show up for this question ;) i think i wanted hex 1, which is all yang and bang!

in any case does anyone have any thoughts, am I being too vain? ( I am a leo so its possible):cool:
 

icastes

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If it is simply a sexual attraction leading to love, there is a chance with 22. If for marriage, then you have to make sure to do a very strong investigation of the person. However, 18 can put you into bed with the person, but you'll find the love will lead to trouble and great distress. If seeking some kind of marriage, the people involved are not compatible with teach other and there are too many problems to make it work.
 

gato

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"he lends grace to the beard on his chin" ?????? :) yi is not without sense of humor.... you need to work more on your appearance maybe shave some parts ( i really hope is not the chin )
 

chingching

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:rofl: thanks gato, actually the last time I saw him I dressed very plainly and at the time felt very unattractive and was unsure why I did this, felt very subconsciously driven when i chose what to wear that day...18 I guess

icastes, getting 18 did give me that feeling too.

18 has a certain kind of pull to it doesn't it, would it be fair to say something like a subconscious attraction , maybe i should have asked why I am attracted to him, ok I'll ask that now:

38.4.5 > 61

line 4 sounds eerily true, line 5 I don't know if I'm brave enough to approach him right now, he really is a good person but as reflected in the first question with 22 > 18 as an answer I'm concerned:blush:
 

tiziano

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Respect of the right pace (22.1) and a bit of care of form (22.2) can make beauty (22) a love filter (18). Gu is any kind of filter, including love potions. Bi refers to the outer perfectly reflecting the inner, so nothing false or inappropriate. Real beauty is being yourself. This even wins any form of decay.

You are attracted by him because, despite some discrepancies in your views (38), you really feel you can trust him (61). Line 38.4 says this same thing, line 38.5 predicts good fortune in this relationship.
 

chingching

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vederedentro, that has helped me understand a lot better, you put those two hex's together fantastically. I truely just couldn't see how they could fit together, so thank you very much. I've never had much clarity when facing my own questions...

and thanks to everyone else too!
 

ginnie

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does he find me attractive (i know its not the best question but I couldn't help myself). 22.1.2 > 18
The relating hexagram of 18 could be indicating how you felt about yourself that you asked this question in the first place. You did not feel attractive when you were with him.

For some reason you were wondering if perhaps you weren't refined enough in your appearance or had made a bad impression upon him due to your appearance.

Did he perhaps do or say something that led you to question your physical appearance?

In any case, 22.1 might be telling you not to get on the "attractiveness bandwagon." You are advised not to take any shortcuts but rather to reach for a deeper understanding about this relationship.

Line 22.2 can point to a lack of confidence, with words trying to make up for the deficiency.

It can also be advice to do what most people would do. That is, when going out to meet someone significant, don't we all dress ourselves up a bit, even if we don't really feeling like doing so? After all, we don't lose anything by doing so.

But in the long run, it's only what's inside that's important.

What's best, of course, is when our outer appearance corresponds with the best you can feel about yourself. While refinement is not the most important thing, sometimes one must exhibit refinement in order to "bring something through," as they say. :)

I don't think Yi's response said much about the potential of this relationship to turn into something more meaningful. I have the feeling this was the first time you met each other; something like that.
 
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chingching

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ginnie,

thanks for your input, it isnt the first time we've met each other, but its the first time in a while and since a lot of different yet major things have gone on for both of us so there was a feeling of newness.

I agree that 22 > 18 speaks more about me, I've always had issue with not being perfect enough for men ...

who knows if anything will come of it, i'll be talking to him again soon and will let you know if anything develops, its interesting everyone's take on it.

I guess in a broader sense 22 > 18 is quite an interesting mix, inner beauty outwardly manifest in the context of decay, cleaning out what is rotten.

In any case I asked where could this be leading?:

35.1.5 > 25
progress
delays
not reacting to either loss or gain , no regrets
stay myself, be natural, without expectations

but I'm not asking anymore questions until something in the real world happens again. :)
 

chingching

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well I spoke to him on the phone and it was a great conversation, but was left not knowing where this would be going, I didn't quite know what question to ask yi so I just asked

what do I need to know about this situation:

45.4 > 8

sounds good, I'm willing to wait and see so I guess time will tell
 

ginnie

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I agree that 22 > 18 speaks more about me, I've always had issue with not being perfect enough for men ...
Those were good readings.

Maybe your parents or your cultural background or some particular experience gave you a terrible complex that you are not an attractive woman. That's probably what needs fixing, the family Gu, the psychological complex that makes you feel you're not attractive to men.

Most people who are healthy are also attractive.
 
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chingching

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That certainly rings true. thanks again ginnie!!!!!

I slept with the Hex 18 under my pillow and had a dream about this man and in the dream I was meeting him at a party and when I walked towards him another woman jumped on top of him as if to claim him and he just looked at me as if to say 'sorry there is nothing i can do'.

so I asked yi what to make of this dream and I got:

18.1.2.3.5.6 > 3

many changing lines are bit beyond me at this point in time, and i couldn't find any similar in the archives. I can say that being left for another women is a huge fear, but my father never did this and I have never been in a relationship long enough for this to actually happen to me so I dont even know where this comes from, but I'm willing to work on that myself.

but in terms of 18 > 3 maybe the i ching is simply saying that the dream is a reflection of my own can of worms and its just that its going to be difficult to start working through that stuff.

Meanwhile I've started taking zumba classes once a day to deal with the excess energy I have from thinking about this man...what is he doing to me!
 

ginnie

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so I asked yi what to make of this dream and I got:

18.1.2.3.5.6 > 3
:rofl:

The I Ching seems to be saying: Everything needs to be fixed, chingching, but you're lucky, because this hasn't been going on for a long time yet.

Love your new avator, by the way!
 

Trojina

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That certainly rings true. thanks again ginnie!!!!!

I slept with the Hex 18 under my pillow and had a dream about this man and in the dream I was meeting him at a party and when I walked towards him another woman jumped on top of him as if to claim him and he just looked at me as if to say 'sorry there is nothing i can do'.

so I asked yi what to make of this dream and I got:

18.1.2.3.5.6 > 3

many changing lines are bit beyond me at this point in time, and i couldn't find any similar in the archives. I can say that being left for another women is a huge fear, but my father never did this and I have never been in a relationship long enough for this to actually happen to me so I dont even know where this comes from, but I'm willing to work on that myself.

but in terms of 18 > 3 maybe the i ching is simply saying that the dream is a reflection of my own can of worms and its just that its going to be difficult to start working through that stuff.

Meanwhile I've started taking zumba classes once a day to deal with the excess energy I have from thinking about this man...what is he doing to me!
I really think Yi is saying to discard this dream as mind detritus. Some dreams are meaningful but some are for the waste disposal IMO. I thought this dream was for the waste disposal as soon as I saw 18 >3. hex 3 being chaos, 18 trying to reform and make sense of that chaos via the dream.

I also think theres many other ways to see it but I am just giving you my very first, fairly strong impression...a chaotic jumble..


BTW did you really sleep with hexagram 18 under your pillow or was that a metaphor ?
 

ka-ching!

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chingching, your dream reminds me of your response to 38.5. You don't want to jump on this, you're "willing to wait" -- maybe subconsciously you're afraid if you don't, someone else will? You both do and don't want to be that jumping woman.

I agree with ginnie about looking carefully at your parents, maybe especially mother, when dealing with 18. This is a hexagram I've received regularly in relation to love and other questions, but it's only become obvious to me lately that that the power dynamic in my parent's relationship has been operating throughout my relationships as well, and that my mother's sexual repression, self-doubt and uncertainty about her own attractiveness deeply affected my own ability to project myself as attractive to the world.

I don't mean to suggest these particular details are yours -- just to say that with 18 I find it can be hard to see clearly & it's worth taking some time to examine yourself carefully, since I associate 18 with repeated subconscious behaviours that are destructive, and if you don't get a handle on them you are indeed "no better than the one who did not teach you."
 

chingching

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"no better than the one who did not teach you."
too true. I guess I have trouble facing the.. how? how? how? Last night I went and saw black swan and it beautifully illustrates a woman bringing both the dark and light aspects of herself together, the swan queen and the black swan. It felt really ... apt I guess... that I went and saw it.

Trojan, I did indeed sleep with hex 18 literally under my pillow, and along with the jumping woman I also dreamt that I was in a crumbling castle at night with cesar milan (the dog whisperer) and he said to me , wait for the eclipse in scorpio, and I said oh that will be in my tenth house, and he said oh you have a scorpio tenth house ! hahaha. Funny thing was I looked up the eclipses this year in the morning and in nov there is an eclipse in sagitarrius, which still happens to be in my tenth house.

Last night I slept with 57 under my pillow and I cant remember the dream at all, which is irregular because I usually have vivid dreams. All I know is that it felt really good and I did not want to wake up from it.

Ginnie, I agree and what you said is also relates cpickard's quote too. And in a way fixing everything, or learning what I was never taught will have to include cleaning out the wasteland of thoughts I have, so i think what trojan said fits in too.

If anyone is interested I asked three more questions about getting past this blockage I suppose:

what can I do to progress with this man:

2 unchanging (um.... nothing, or more positively, just be)

what can I do next time I see him to bring this dynamic between us ( i admit this question is similar to the first one):

2.2.5 > 29

be with my fears with sincerity and modesty. hmmm

Why cant I show that side of my self to him:

2.2.4.6 > 64 (need to take a final step or something, this one confused me, or maybe the i ching was tired of me asking practically the same question)

I any case after all of this I don't know when I'll see him again as he is going on a tour with his band (musicians!!!) and then he going overseas travelling indefinitely... so... I have had positive readings about him but the reality is I don't think anything else will happen but its been good to have the opportunity to work on myself I guess:stir:.
 
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Trojina

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That certainly rings true. thanks again ginnie!!!!!

I slept with the Hex 18 under my pillow and had a dream about this man and in the dream I was meeting him at a party and when I walked towards him another woman jumped on top of him as if to claim him and he just looked at me as if to say 'sorry there is nothing i can do'.

so I asked yi what to make of this dream and I got:

18.1.2.3.5.6 > 3

many changing lines are bit beyond me at this point in time, and i couldn't find any similar in the archives. I can say that being left for another women is a huge fear, but my father never did this and I have never been in a relationship long enough for this to actually happen to me so I dont even know where this comes from, but I'm willing to work on that myself.

but in terms of 18 > 3 maybe the i ching is simply saying that the dream is a reflection of my own can of worms and its just that its going to be difficult to start working through that stuff.

Meanwhile I've started taking zumba classes once a day to deal with the excess energy I have from thinking about this man...what is he doing to me!
If I just look at the dream without the reading it seems to spell out something fairly clear. Subconsciously you see men, this man as having no real say in who he is with. He doesn't make the choice hes 'chosen'. Your problem was you didn't get to him quick enough so it could be a warning against your lack of self assertion at key moments...but you need to ask yourself why you created a man who seemd to have no agency, no will of his own, no power, who could be overpowered by a woman and then have no option but to be with her not you.

I wonder if the Yi is that useful for dream anaysis when the dream itself is about 100 times more eloquent in its own right. Sometimes people seem to ignore the dream and look at the reading. You created everything in the dream....and this man isn't very manly is he. Why is that ? He is depicted as a kind of prey, another woman pounced and the prey was hers.

Now if the other woman in the dream was a subpersonality, a part of you, it could be a warning about this attitude of 'taking' him, pouncing as if on prey. Perhaps one part of you sees the assertive side of your urges as too overpowering...either way his choice seems to be an issue...leaving him some choice....or not. maybe one part of you wants to leave him no choice and the other part holds back......


I see his submissive attitude as central...and of course its a reversal of traditional roles.


You could act out each part in the dream and get to know who it is in each 'part' to get an insight into them. IOW be the man on the floor and ask whats in his mind....


If hes interested its up to him to make the choice to contact you. Hex 2 unchanging quite clearly says there is nothing you can 'do' to make progress....it isn't your role here. Your role is to respond which you can only do if he approaches you. If he approaches you he clearly shows his choice something he was lacking in the dream.


Its still the case and probabably always will be that in the realm of courtship it rarely works for the woman to chase the man so what can you 'do' other than signal your interest...the rest is up to him.


You have to trust him to make the choice. In the dream you didn't, part of you pinned him to the floor LOL
 
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chingching

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hahahahaa.

i guess it was pointless doing an i ching reading of a dream. Even though the dynamic between this guy and me is new I have known him for a while and he does let women choose him. But he'll go after women who aren't interested in him. That's some keen intuition you have there trojan!

but its also my subpersonality too, the agressive woman.... I've always said that I feel like this is my first lifetime as a woman and in the past I have only been incarnated as men.

Its still the case and probabably always will be that in the realm of courtship it rarely works for the woman to chase the man so what can you 'do' other than signal your interest...the rest is up to him.
I'm still learning :) what you said about 2 feels right to me, its feels like I really just want to be responsive but I guess what is uncomfortable is that I feel like I dont have a say in what happens, a bit out of control...thanks for all of that though! a pleasure to read!!
 

Trojina

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hahahahaa.

i guess it was pointless doing an i ching reading of a dream.
well I didn't mean its pointless only that dreams in themselves are so rich in symbolism the keys to them are often more clearly there, in the dream, rather than in a reading about a dream.

Nevertheless people do ask Yi about dreams


I can understand why people might ask about recurring dreams...they drive me nuts !!!
 

ginnie

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Why cant I show that side of my self to him:

2.2.4.6 > 64 (need to take a final step or something, this one confused me, or maybe the i ching was tired of me asking practically the same question)
There is no evidence here that Yi was tired of you asking the same question ...

We often get h64 when we are attempting to make careful distinctions before making a decision or before taking any more actions. You are carefully sorting everything through ....

Well, chingching, if you were a man in your previous incarnations and this is your first life as a woman, then perhaps one karmic task you're working on in this lifetime is learning how to be more receptive; how to receive and not to judge the giver or what's given. ;)
 

chingching

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hahahah, thanks ginnie. thats good food for thought on 64 too, I never saw it that way before, I shall meditate on that! Maybe I'll put 64 under my pillow tonight :)
 

ginnie

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and 31 too
:rofl:

Seems we women have a lot of trouble being women these days; that is, open and welcoming towards men.

I also see that men are having trouble being men these days.

Let's face it. It's a mess between men and women these days.
 

chingching

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I know, and just to confuse us further there is gen Y...open and up for anything, I had a young gay boy flirt with me last week... how is that even supposed to work? :confused::D

also I did sleep with 31 under my pillow but dreamt about my sister in law who said she couldn't have children because my house was dusty...it was close to being a nightmare... I'm pretty sure this time the hexagram under the pillow didn't work, but for the others I have done the dreams seemed to match, but they were hexagrams I got from readings I was having trouble understanding... lol, any line of reasoning will do.
 
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ginnie

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Your Openness

also I did sleep with 31 under my pillow but dreamt about my sister in law who said she couldn't have children because my house was dusty.
Did your sister-in-law say she couldn't have children because your house is dusty IN YOUR DREAM? Or did she say this at some other time?

Dreams are one way we are sensitive to what's going on with other people, and another name of 31 is SENSITIVITY. 31 isn't just about wooing and courtship. You can definitely get 31 about anybody.

I think the 31 refers more to you, though. To me it is referring to your openness. In your dreaming state, you are very open to all sorts of influences, probably more than most people. :)
 
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sooo

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I felt it, but I don't trust my instincts about what he felt, so I asked does he find me attractive (i know its not the best question but I couldn't help myself)

I've searched the forum archives and cant find anything on this combo

22.1.2 > 18

whilst my impression is that its not good (18) I'm intrigued by the translation under the judgement on LiSe's website:

GU: Poison, venom, harm, putrefaction, decay, to bewitch, to enchant.

can it be enchanting beauty? please? hahaha. or my beauty opened up a can of worms? or he initially found me attractive and now all he sees is decay.... :( or i used to be beautiful and now i'm too old :( :(, cougarish

Whilst I find Hex 18 really interesting I really didn't want it to show up for this question ;) i think i wanted hex 1, which is all yang and bang!

in any case does anyone have any thoughts, am I being too vain? ( I am a leo so its possible):cool:
Hi chingching,

First let me say, I really enjoy reading your posts. This thread slipped by me until just now.

After I shook it all up and let it settle again onto 22.1.2 > 18, I think Yi is saying you should work on your taste in guys for your own good.

What first caught my attention was your dream's use of the figure of Cesar Milan. Very interesting that he spoke in a language which you found easy to understand, even though I've never heard him mention astrology. But he does speak and hear the language of dogs, which is a more primal kind of language. That may be relevant. Was he pointing out a personality trait, perhaps regarding your attraction to nutty musicians, who are attracted only to women that he can't have? Wondering if there's some self-sabotage in this movie.
 
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Hey chingching
I have nothing to offer in interpretations. You seem to have a handle on it yourself and with the advice from some of the best on this site who have helped me too, many times, I think I don't think my interpretation would add anything you don't already have covered.
But I laughed a little when I saw your interest was in a musican and your dream about the another woman was almost similar to mine, only mine turned out better but I read it as both the women in the dream were representing me.
Interesting too, with Hex 18 and you are working through issues to do with your parents especially your mum at this time.
If you haven't already read the book Women Who Love Too Much it might help because it is sooo about Hex 18 and the relativitey our childhood has on our initimate relationships. Even if you have read it, it is a book that is valuable to read over and over again until we get it right.
Many blessings Liss x
 

chingching

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I'll check that out Liss... I asked again what am I supposed to do, not in order to progress anything with this guy, but to deal with the situation within myself and what did I get

18 unchanging...

Ginnie... that makes sense about 31, if you read all of gato's posts one would think its about one thing and one thing only :rofl:
She said that in my dream, in reality I have been needing to do a full clean of my house (18?) but as far as the having children thing goes this is an issue for my sister in law but not one she openly talks about because its difficult for her to have children and she hasn't had any success yet.

In any case I'm not sleeping with 31 under my pillow again, its bad enough when I let my dog sleep on my bed (guilty) and have dreams of running in fields and chasing other dogs.

and sooo, you are sooo right! My close friends have never understood my taste in men, I definitely like to pick up stray dogs and help them. Mainly they all have self esteem issues, the same as mine, so I suppose like attracts like. I have always struggled with attraction though, at times I find all men attractive and I often think so who am I allowed to be attracted to, supposed to be attracted to? What are the rules? A part of me actually doesn't mind the idea of arranged marriage.... but the rest of me says no.

As an update the nutty musician, who's actual job is in social services... is a no go on the romance front but something is there... maybe its just a heart connection.
 
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sooo

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Mammas, don't let your daughters grow up to date musicians.
(is one and oughta know!) :) At least he has a day gig, lol.

Along with what Liss has said re 18, it's notable that there are two main ways of spoiling someone, even dogs. One is by a mother - representing unconditional love, motherly servitude (constantly picking up after him etc), and through over-exuberance in fatherly duties (disciplinarian, setting the house rules, being too critical or controlling, conditional love, etc). Though I perceive this is more the norm with sons and sometimes the opposite with daughters, the general association has held up over time for me re 18.

So there may be a little introspection in regard to how you treat nutty musicians and ragged dogs. hahaha.. Does your heart melt when you see a "musicians need love too" bumper sticker? If so, you have a thing for sick puppies. :rofl:
 

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Hi chingchnig!

Just in case it helps..I've been giving some thought on hex 18 myself lately. I've been involved with psychotherapy both on a personal and a professional level for the past 5-6 years. When ti comes to i ching i generally tend not to rely too much on the specific words the text uses as i prefer to think of them as general symbols. However, given my background it was hard not to make the association when i started reading about mothers and fathers, guilt and decay, work on what has been spoiled,etc.

The most common thing you hear from someone in the beggining of therapy is " My childhood? Oh! I had a nice childhood..". And then as the process continues we start to realize that some things were not at all "nice" - at least not to the wounded child we all still keep inside. All these feelings of fear, guilt, loss, inadequacy start to emerge and the realisation that their source is to be found somewhere in our parents and our lovely childhood comes as a shock! Usually the next stage is anger. We feel the urge to go out there and tell them that they were no good as parents. They are the reason we now feel lost and vulnerable and make all the wrong choices!!

And that's where 18 comes into the picture. Because after we've found the "source of decay" and all the anger has passed, we now need to "work on what has been spoiled". It takes time and determination to work out all those complexes, leave everything that is of no use anymore behind and replace those old, decaying structures with new ones. And it takes time to let the wound heal (after we've cleaned it up). "Before the starting point, three days.After the starting point, three days".

So then we come out in the light again renewed.We are now masters of our own lives, able to make our own choices and follow our personal path. In one word we are ADULTS! And we can now love and thank our parents but they can no longer determine our actions.. "He does not serve kings and princes,Sets himself higher goals." (18.6).

Therapy is only one way to adulthood.. There are countless others. The way through 18 is purely personal. I just wanted to give my personal experience in case it can be of some use.. Hope it makes some sense..

And by the way, i'm almost 30 and still not able to call my self an Adult:blush:!

Love,
Angel
 

chingching

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That's such a great description of hex 18....and its exactly where I am at, I have been through therapy and also a lot of self therapy, been through he anger although it rises now and again but less each time. And right now I feel like I'm learning how to do everything from scratch after working on what has been spoiled.

Because I have been working on these kind of issues for a while I suppose I feel I should be getting advice like the world card in tarot...however the most common card I draw in tarot is the devil...

Gah... when doe sit get easier.

And we can now love and thank our parents but they can no longer determine our actions.. "He does not serve kings and princes,Sets himself higher goals." (18.6).
you know that's so fitting but I never looked at the text in this view before!
 

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