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28.2.3 to 45 regarding potential marriage

celelissa

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I asked the Yi regarding a man who has come into my life in 2008. What is the potential for marriage for us together? I was told by a trusted psychic I would meet my husband this year, 2008 and she described some of the particular qualities this man has. Very cliched question, "Is this my guy?" Would so appreciate feedback from you all. thank you!

threw coins and got:

28 with changing lines 2 and 3 to 45
 

celelissa

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and yes he is older than me!! I am the younger woman by 7 years
 

willowfox

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Very interesting answer, the old guy takes a young wife, still plenty of sap left in him. But don't be hasty in your decisions, it advises you to seek help before you commit yourself for life because the relationship may be sweet now but later on it could well come under a lot of pressure. One has to see both the good and the bad before deciding what to do.
 

celelissa

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Thanks for the feedback.. I need to be more specific..This man and I dated for about 2.5 months...He then said he didn't have the time to be available for a serious relationship (we discussed my relocating,children, marriage all the big issues) due to the fact its long distance (NY to LA) his teenage daughter that he needs to be with, and a huge busy carreer.. He says he adores me and still keeps in touch, although not as much as before..Its now sweet, light but not intimate or future planning as it was before..So my real question is, what does the future hold in terms of him being " my Man"..

28.2.3 to 45
 

willowfox

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Hex 45 suggests what will happen in the future, it suggests a gathering together of two separate families under one roof,a happy occasion. So, it indicates that somewhere down the line you will all live in the same house, so that seems to be nice.
 

celelissa

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Thank You! Lovely image that I will hold, I like the idea of a higher purpose for a relationship...My concern is the sagging ridgepole of 28, (2 or 3 ?) is that was is to come? Or does it explain that we technically are not "seeing" each other any more. And I like your advice of seeking help, which I am to stay focused and healthy in my behavior.
 

willowfox

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Like I said before, the old sagging ridgepole, has to do with problems between now and a bit later, the stresses and strains that you will need to go through in order to reach the house, therefore the line advises you to bide your time, not to try and push him into anything, this is a time to wait and listen, and let the situation develop in its own good time otherwise you are just creating problems for yourself and you will ruin your dreams.
 

ginnie

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Hexagram 28: Excessive in Some Way

You mentioned so many heavy issues to be confronted: an intercontinental relocation, his teenage daughter, a huge busy career. And you got Hexagram 28, which indicates a situation which is excessive in some way, just too much. You got the third line moving, which means the misfortune of being without adequate support, and that may mean in this case not enough contact between the two of you to talk things over and make the necessary arrangements. Not to mention how to keep the contact alive!

The relating hexagram to third line moving is 47, Weariness or Exhaustion. It may be that there is too much here to deal with, and the physical distance between you two is not going to help that.

That does not mean that hexagram 47, another word for which is Adversity, cannot be overcome. What you want is to be together with this man. The strength of your determination to that dream is what will be the deciding factor. It is said that there is no situation in life that the Superior Man (or Realizing Woman) cannot influence and turn around for the good of all.
 

celelissa

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the throw gave me a future Hex of 45 not 47...lines 2 AND 3 were both moving in the first Hex of 28..
 

ginnie

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To clarify

Hi again

Yes, the relating hexagram of the primary hexagram is 45. Hexagram 45 implies a lot of people, not just you two. There is a crowd of people here who need to be united. This will entail a lot of time and effort. Yet, if it were to happen, it would be all to the good, of course. However, hexagram 45 represents mainly your wish, not a predicted result.

Now, in interpreting, you need to go line by line and find the hexagram that each line in your Primary Figure changes into, one at a time. You have two lines moving. When the first line changes, you get hexagram 31 -- Strong Attraction through sensation in the body. This is stimulation and wooing. This is conjoining and an influx that moves and fills the body. This hexagram, number 31, accompanies the second line moving in your Primary Hexagram: How it is at the beginning.

What is the second step of the changes? It is the third line moving in the Primary Figure. When the third line changes (and keeping all the other lines as they were), you get hexagram 47, Adversity. The two trigrams form a picture of water under a lake. The water has drained out of the lake for some reason. The lake is now empty.

This is pure weariness. These adverse circumstances -- however they manifest -- will be a formidable obstacle to your desire to unite with this man and build something great.

So what are you actually advised to do and what attitude should you take to this situation?

Well, I have often found Karcher's elucidation of what he calls the Change Operators to be a powerful tool to answer those questions. Your Inner Change Operator is 25, Innocence, which means, basically, don't hold ulterior motives and do expect the unexpected. Your outer Change Operator, or what you should actually do in terms of the outer world, is 46, which means: Make the effort, climb step by step. You will need to sort of haul yourself up by your own bootstraps, but this is an inspired path.

There is pure yang here, indicated when you unpack your nuclear trigrams. Great creativity is moving here. Maybe he is a very, very sexy guy or you are a gal full of plans and initiative, but it may be much more than that. There is great creative force moving here.

I am thinking that he will be too busy to communicate with you. He may leave you stranded. That may be the form of adversity that will be so draining, but that is just a guess on my part, based on the fact that this is a long-distance relationship.

Another form of adversity that could strike is that he is so prominent socially that the circle of people around him will prevent him from staying in touch with you.

So much could be gained if you think you might be able to get through the rough patch. Right now you should cool it and relax, because there really is no emergency, even though it seems like there is one. And with effort, the rough part can be gotten through, step by step. Only you can decide whether or not that would be worth it to you.

There are many methods of interpreting the I Ching. If you have more than one moving line, you need to see what hexagram you'd get when you let one line at a time change in your first hexagram. This is explained in I Ching books. If you skip this procedure of deriving all these secondary hexagrams, you won't have enough information to understand what the I Ching is trying to tell you.

Things are much simpler when there is only one moving line. But in this case, there were two.

That means things will proceed in discrete steps and the situation can reverse from one step to the next. This situation changes from strong attraction into adversity, but I want to tell you that all adversity can be overcome, when we decide not to get bogged down in negative thoughts and feelings. The ultimate outcome is entirely up to you. Building a group, which is your desire, hexagram 45, always entails a lot of selfless effort and time. Somebody has to do it, you know ! ! !

I hope this has been helpful.
 

ginnie

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Once again

One does not have to understand everything all at once. We all proceed at our own pace. The I Ching tells us the truth. We're not used to that.
 

willowfox

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I seem to remember that her answer was Hex 28.2,3 > 45, nothing less and certainly nothing more. All these new ideas, inner and outer operators are purely a modern fantasy, they have no history, and if you care to pick out another half dozen hexs, then something is bound to fit the answer that you want. What you have written has not provided a clear answer at all, it has greatly clouded the issue instead.

Why so many people keep quoting Karcher and his ideas is completely beyond me, as none of his answers seem to be accurate at all, his interpretations tend to be so very different from the mainstream and never make any sense. As, for his inner and outer operators, pure fantasy.
 

ginnie

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Thank You

I most appreciate your thoughtful reply to my post, Willowfox. It is true that Karcher so often advises us to rush ahead, leave, or take precipitous action, when the other translations clearly say to be cautious and wait. You are gifted and possess a remarkable facility to quickly see to the crux of the matter. I cannot say I have such a gift.

I have taken it to heart, what you have been good enough to share with me. I never intended to becloud the issues for the questioner.

Thank you so much.
 
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celelissa

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Thank you all for the insights...I am really feeling the "sagging ridge pole" at this time...brutal...not taking any action towards him.. I am only receptive when he reaches out to me very casually....but boy, I am having such a crisis of faith that he will come back and be together under one roof (Hex 45)..I wish the Yi could give me a time line!!!!
 

celelissa

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So, I have been not taking any action towards this man..We had some light facebook messaging last weekend (he initiated) with him ending with "Have a Merry Xmas!!!"...He was in town visiting his daughter for 3 days and didn't make any plans to see me though. (ouch)... I know, I know...he broke it off due to time ect...

I asked the Yi what is the best for me to do at this point to help attract him back, or help us unite again...

I got...62 unchanging..not sure what "details" I need to attend to...any ideas?


I also asked if we could overcome the obstacles... I got 31 unchanging...not sure how to interpret..

Thanks for any feedback!
 

celelissa

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Uh oh..I just found an earlier throw, asking almost the same question about what I need to do to have us reunite towards marriage and at that time got 20.2 changing to 59...This one was done after his last email and the throw that gave me 62 was done today.. To my inexperienced mind they seem to be saying stay humble and not pursue and stay close to my god, but I don't get the sense that there is anything I can do to help things move along..Thoughts??
 

mary f

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Hello Celelissa!! Your thread is so interesting.
I feel all your readings are positive.
Wilhelm indicates that 31 is one of the four hexagrams that relate directly to relationship (31, 32, 53 and 54). See what Hilary mentions: "Starting Points of the hexagram: the realm of mutual attraction, desire, inspiration; someone available to be moved, acutely sensitive. Making space for the influence to enter."
Ref. 20.2 = purification is done but not yet the offering (it's on the way). Contemplation brings the holy climate needed to comprehend the whole perspective from the other's side. Meditate about this.
59 = this hexagram shows the way that leads to reunion. Faith is very important in this process.
62 - what you need to know for you to reunite = low profile and patience.
If I were you I would keep on trying to maintain your flame and intimacy the best possible way and wait to see.
:)
 

celelissa

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Yes..that's the challenge..to keep the flame and intimacy with out me initiating it. I have decided to allow him to move towards me. I asked Yi after my last email form him what could I expect from his behavior in the next two months and I got 17 unchanging..It seems to me that could indicate his taking action towards me but again, I dont always trust my interpretation..Thats why I love this site!!!! Willowfox, and Mary would love to hear your thoughts..
 

mary f

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To me it's an excellent reading again Celelissa!!!

See what Ewald Berkers (indicated by Hilary) mentions ref. 17:

"Following.
A foundation for progress,
it is beneficial to persist.
Without fault.
Following someone elses initiative. This helps progress. It is good to keep doing this, it is not a mistake.

Now, Hilary's translation (which I like a lot):

"17 - Starting Points
Supported by synchronicity, using the natural flow; “whether or not it is clear to
you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

Cheers.
 

celelissa

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The Yi is being incredibly kind and patient with me..In my final throw I asked what is the best for ME to do to help insure reunion leading to commitment.. and Sure enough, I got hex 2.7 changing to 8...WOW couldn't be more obvious...Be receptive and as steady as a mare, take no action and then join..now at this point, I just no doubt need to relax and let it all go....Right? Well, I promise to check back in 2 months and let you know the update..
 

lucia

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Please forgive my ignorance but is line 7 of Hex 2 the one where the music rises to a crescendo and stardust falls from the sky with twinkly bits in it ?

lucia
 

celelissa

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Opps!!! Typo I meant, 2.5 to 8 ...There is the real thread in the throw...stay humble right? yellow shirt signifying lie low?
 

ginnie

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Waiting

Hi Celelissa

The color yellow means to stay grounded and balanced mentally, not to go to extremes in any way. To be reserved, tactful, discreet, keep a low profile, not draw attention to yourself . . . this is what the Yi has been saying consistently . . . Not to be possessed by what you desire is the message I get from hexagram 31 with no moving lines . . .

Take a really broad and general point of view, looking at the big picture. Take a long-term perspective. Try to imagine how things look from his point of view.
 

ginnie

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Have a Relaxed Expectation

Sometimes a static hexagram is like a command or an order, like this: "Celelissa, pull yourself together and pay attention to the details of your own life!"

Getting 62 makes sense, since at the beginning of the postings you had hexagram 28, a crisis. The crisis has eased into a transitional period . . .

Best to wish for things in a more relaxed way, I've found. Make a wish, relax, and let go of what you want. Have a relaxed expectation.
 

celelissa

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Well, it's been awhile a little over two weeks to be exact..since my last post and last contact with the intended. A simple happy New Year was exchanged via email between us, with him initiating. And since then, nothing..so, in my need to see if there were any changes, today I asked:

Yi what is best for me to do to insure,promote or encourage a return to me with the intention of starting a relationship with me again? ( i gave a time frame of before end of Feb.)

I received 54 unchanging..Gulp potentially another woman, is that always the case? Not to my knowledge but certainly not out of the question..

I asked Yi then is there an another woman? and got 59 1.6. to 60. Not sure at all how to read this...Any help would be appreciated..

And finally, I asked What kind of relationship can I expect if I initiate no action, stay truly feminine, in faith and receptive at my highest good as possible?

6 unchanging...I see that as not a good reading for us being together..

Correct?

Thank you all in advance for the interpretation and all your clarity and wisdom!!!!
 

celelissa

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yep hes with someone else...ugh

just found out he is dating someone in his hometown that is 28 years his junior...wow..the Yi saw it coming...now its confirmed..I asked Yi for what is best for me to do now and no doubt got 54.4 to 19...I am in the inferior position obviously, and will take no action, as I have been...but not sure how to understand 19, line 4 in 54 to me is about waiting until a better time and that I will end up "marrying" but not sure it relates to him returning to me. I don't have my hopes up. But 19 is very positive and could mean a new start in my life...with him????? How to ask that question....:bows: Would love some input on my interpretations..are they accurate?
 

celelissa

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surprised! unexpected development

Almost 8 weeks later from last contact, I received a Facebook message from him today which then led to messaging and emails between us. We got a little caught up and he was slightly flirty with me, asking if I had marriage proposals, due to the fact that I said I was in a state of flux..What I was referring to and explained to him, had to do with work ...he was sweet and ended with "my love to you..." and in another email " I like you, you are very likable" ect. nice sweet ..I guess??? I asked yi and got:

13.1 to 33

I like the idea of cooperating with others, but isn't this in relation to a group??? he and I are not in a group or does it mean I need to be in some sort of group?

and then 33 i am confused about..why would I commit to a group (us) and then retreat???

What say you all you wise posters?:bows:
 

Trojina

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i don't know what you asked exactly but i think 13.1 is just fairly open friendliness, not very deep or intimate...you meet in the context of a larger group ie facebook . I'd say things are pretty much as they seem, i wouldn't look for hidden agendas here i don't think.
 

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