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44 = the woman who stands in the way?

cal val

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Hi there...

I've been struggling with this hexagram almost since the day I got to this forum nearly three years ago. When I first got here almost three years ago, I had asked "When is this waiting going to end," and the Yi answered 13 to 44. It's still saying 44... every time I ask about the man the universe likes me, the man I want him to be... and recently, the woman he cares for.

44 as my soulmate

First of all Jesed... In light of your observation that 44 means 'predestination' I'd love you to see this dream I had two years ago and posted on this forum. http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/786/792.html#POST9829. I've been pretty certain from the readings subsequent to that dream that this man the universe likes and I are indeed soul mates (predestined). Before that dream, I might have been open minded about the subject but more likely would have been rather close minded. I could be absolutely wrong, but it's been my experience that the Yi stops the "broken record" thing as soon as I get something, and I've accepted the destiny/soulmate possibility (happily) for quite awhile now, so I don't believe the Yi means that... at least these days... when it says 44.

44 as woman with AIDS

One of the thoughts that crosses my mind periodically (and that I push away with great force) is that there is possibly a connection with death here. It's when 28.6 leads to 44 that I especially get the heebyjeebies about this hexagram.

As many of you know, a woman with HIV figured very prominently in my break up with MGM (MSM). Things might not have got so stressful while I was in the UK if she hadn't called him every day crying while I was there with him.

I've ask the Yi a couple of times over the past couple of years how her health is, and they answered 16.4 (and yes Dobro *sigh* the Yi DOES answer those questions if it's beneficial for me to know). He has said it would be dishonorable to leave a woman with AIDS, and that's why he stays. I asked about her health last night while I pondered the possibility that 44 may mean her and may mean that she's dying from it, and the answer was 16.

It's my understanding that people in civilized countries just don't die of AIDS any more or at least don't have to because of the advances in medical research and the treatments that are available today... especially in Europe. Magic Johnson is a good example of what is possible. And nobody is dying around me anymore and I work in the entertainment industry. Ten and 15 years ago the obits in the trades were filled with deaths by AIDS. Is my understanding correct or does anyone out there have experience to the contrary regarding AIDS in 2005?

At any rate, the only reason I wonder if it's about her is because I got 44 twice this weekend. I asked what the hold up is now (for this man and I to unite or reunite) and they answered 57.4 to 44. And then after thinking about that, I asked about how SHE'S feeling about this 'situation' these days and they answered 44 to 29... which just might be a lead-in to the next possibility...

44 as not-very-nice woman standing in the way

There's another thing about her besides her HIV/AIDS that might factor in... which would mean 44 is about a woman who doesn't play fair, not a woman with AIDS. I mentioned a few months ago that I had a couple of dreams that I felt were 'sent'. In the first one I heard the word "SUICIDE" screamed at me, and I woke with a start. I wondered at that moment if he wasn't trying to tell me he was afraid she'd try again if he left her... it was even possible that she's threatened to. (It's not at all beneath her to do so. This woman originally got his attention by calling him for help saying she'd just attempted suicide.)

I had an experience while I was in Virginia with 44 and power hungry women who played some pretty dirty pool. I got caught in the crossfire. One of the women was looking for reasons for the VP to fire me because I reported to the other one. Getting me fired would have shown just who was in the driver's seat. The Yi kept me apprised of what was going on behind my back and counselled me on how to protect myself. 44 to 28 was a warning the Yi sent me one day when the "looking for trouble" woman was about to arrive at my facility... uh... looking for trouble. So I know from experience that 44 is also about "woman who doesn't play fair" or "devious woman" or whatever you would call a woman who would stoop to emotional blackmail to hold onto a man.

Thanks for your help... if you care to ponder this bit of a quagmire and offer your thoughts. In the meantime, I'm going to wait and see if 44 doesn't stop the "broken record" thing since I'm contemplating the possibility it's about a woman in the way. I'll let you know what happens.

Love,

Val
 
J

jesed

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Hi Val

Just in case the commentarie could be useful

1.- Every hexagram have several meanings, and several levels of interpretation. So, I'm not exactly saying that 44 is soulmate. I'm saying that one of the meanings is about elements or people destinated to be together. For me, this is a little diference. You can know better than me if this could be the meaning or not in the concrete case.

2.- Even if 44 is talking about 2 people destinated to be together, that doesn't means necesarly that they WILL be together. If Heaven had destinated something, and Human acts agaist Heaven, the predicted situation won't come to reality.

3.- I would acept better the idea of 44 as a person who doesn't play fair than as a person with AIDS. Of course, an ill person CAN use the illnes to play unfair.

4.- Again about destinated-to-be-together. If the meeting cann't be do "halfway" (by any situation), even if destinated to be together, is not a good situation.

5.- About the dream. If I understood well, is the dream about flying first, and be death later. MMMM... wish a relationship, but don't having it beacuse the afectations to others? something or someone obstacle to enjoy relationship? if this is correct, maybe is still an issue for you

Best wishes
 
B

bruce

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I don?t think coyote will mind if I post this here. We?re working on a pictorial of 64 hexagrams, and this is our 44.

(consider the bold color as a means of encouraging proliferation)

5467.jpg
 

cal val

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Hi Jesed...

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts on the above possibilities with me.

About the dream... It was one in a series of very dynamic dreams that triggered a good deal of personal growth. It was about a past life and my rebirth into this life... at a time when I didn't really believe in reincarnation. I knew while I was experiencing it that the inability to breath and the paralysis were me experiencing my dream birth consciously. It was wild... I said Wow and Whoa a lot when it was over, and I didn't want to say too much on this forum.

Apparently the plane we were boarding in the beginning of the dream crashed upon take off, and we died.

You're very perceptive. This woman has indeed used her illness to play unfair. She even tried to work me with it when she found out he was in love with me. I'm just not very easy to manipulate. I asked questions that she couldn't answer.

Love,

Val
 

femke

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Dear Val

Are you absolutely sure that he's your destined soulmate? It's no option that 44 refers to him as the "powerful woman"? And Yi is warning you not to marry him (even in your mind, as in real life there's no opportunity right now)? Sorry if I'm completely off track.

Love, Femke
 

cal val

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Hi there Femke...

Your confusion is unstandable... if you haven't been reading this saga from the beginning.

Yes this is a man the universe says I'm destined for. The story is long, and most of it is all over this forum. 44 is is what they say whenever I've asked the Yi to tell me something about him. Since the Yi wouldn't tell me NOT to marry someone the universe is telling I AM going to marry, I'm trying to find out what 44 means in this case.

I don't know that the man with the woman in the way is THE man they're talking about... except that when I mentioned that woman this weekend they said 44 to 29. It could have just been a fluke... and it could have been part of a chain of events to lead me to understanding. Time will tell. I didn't get 44 last night when I was trying to ask some questions. I got a rash of 30s instead. That means someone somewhere was clear on something. Since the Yi has been like a broken record with the 44s, I'm guessing it was that I (with Jesed's help) was FINALLY clear on 44.

Love,

Val
 

cal val

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Hi Bruce...

Pretty plant. What is it? Where is it? and who shot the picture?

Thanks.

Love,

Val
 
B

bruce

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Hi Val,

The shot was taken by a friend of LiSe's. Not sure exactly what it is, but it's a berry of some kind, that grows in the Netherlands. The detail of the much larger original image was beautiful, but even reduced it tells a message. The bright colors shout "here I am" to the bees and other pollen spreading insects, and with sweet fruit to eat... well, need I say more?
 

cal val

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I made a mistake up there... *pointing up to the paragraph on "woman with AIDS." I typed 16.4 and it should have been 16.5... Chronically ill but not terminal.

And I do believe I just had that clarity moment that the Yi kept going on about last night.

Once when I was inquiring about her health (the woman with AIDS) the Yi answered with 16.1.5. I was just reading Hilary's blog regarding the uselesstree conversation about Bush and his recovery from this recent major setback. And she said something that, if applied to this situation, puts it all in perspective.

"Stephen Karcher describes 16.1 as ?trying to get others to take care of you?"

*slapping forehead* Now I get it... and that's the clarity the Yi was talking about last night!

So now I wonder why it's so important I finally understand... at this late stage.

Love,

Val
 

void

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I have a book 'Images from the I Ching' by Ann Williams which gives a painting for each hexagram.

For 44 there is a formal maze made of clouds with a woman in the middle. The caption is "Amazed, I meet myself coming from the centre"
 

femke

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Hi Val

I read your dream, very impressive it must have been to have it. But what a lonesome feeling it must be to know he's your destined love, but him not realizing it! I feel for you. But, it's hopeful also, of course, and very beautiful.
I think it's an interesting thread and I've been trying to think about the images, yet I don't seem to be able to put my finger on the essence. Probably because I'm a newcomer and haven't followed the history. And because I miss some of the English. I'd like to read it, but it's hard to retrieve since there are so many posts.
30 for insight on your side sounds reasonable, but what about him? It's about connection isn't it, I see the hexagram as two opened eyes. And since you're soulmates... is it possible he's starting to see it too at this moment? I really don't know enough about the story to have any solid ground for these assumptions but I'd like to. So if you could fill me in a little, I'd appreciate it.

Love, Femke
 

cal val

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Femke...

Thank you so much for taking the time to consider this situation.

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

30 for insight on your side sounds reasonable, but what about him? It's about connection isn't it, I see the hexagram as two opened eyes. And since you're soulmates... is it possible he's starting to see it too at this moment?<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote> Very perceptive! And we do have this connection. So yes... if I'm starting to understand things maybe he is as well. That would be wonderful really. I do hope you're right.

I will try to find a post for you to read a little later that will give a better idea of the connection.

Love,

Val
 

cal val

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Hi Femke...

As promised, I found a post that might help. Void, who hasn't been here for the entire saga, asked me to elaborate as well, and this post is the synopsis I wrote in response:

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/48/5399.html#POST36586

The man I mention in the UK in that post is the man who's been caring for the woman with HIV/AIDS.

Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Thanks!

Val
 

lightofdarkness

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The Universal I Ching is self-referencing and so can describe each hexagram through analogies to all of the others (it can describe itself just as we can).

The LOCAL, aka 'traditional' I Ching is customised to a particular time/place and as such can contain 'distorted' perspectives (combined with a lack of knowledge about the IC's ability to self-reference)

Universal descriptions are therefore (a) precise but (b) general - universals without a LOCAL ground through which to express themselves.

The IC+ identified XOR mechanisms allow us to extract general details of any hexagram, allow us to get the I Ching to describe itself but in universals where we can then add the local content.

The 'full, universal, spectrum' of 44 is summarised below where each hexagram of the IC is a source of analogy in describing the full spectrum of 44 (and so such perspectives as the 27-ness of 44, the 28-ness of 44, the 01-ness of 44 etc etc) - e.g. the 'skeletal' form of 44, the 27-ness, is:

011111 (44)
100001 (27)
------
111110 (43)

WHat this 'says' is the skeletal form of 44 is desribed by analogy to generic properties of 43, the focus on 'spreading the word(seed)'... etc etc

Since the hexagram can refer not only to a situation/event of the past/present/future, so it can refer to a TYPE of person, giving THEIR full spectrum, the genetics that 'pushes' their buttons etc.

44 is associated with being persuasive/seductive and using XOR we have such results as:

How does this hexagram express singlemindedness, competitiveness (the 01-ness of 44)? :: 24

...showing the focus of 44, keeps coming back to the point, keeps pushing despite 'distractions', is driven to persuade/seduce etc etc.


The summary of 44:

===================================
00 :: (02) : What is this hexagrams's potential form? :: 44
01 :: (24) : How does this hexagram 'start', express 'beginning'? :: 1
02 :: (07) : How does this hexagram express uniformity, establishment of? :: 33
03 :: (19) : How does this hexagram express approaching the 'high'; defer to the 'low'? :: 13
04 :: (15) : How does this hexagram level things out, keep words close to facts? :: 6
05 :: (36) : How does this hexagram protect its 'light' when not its time? :: 10
06 :: (46) : How does this hexagram become more entangled with something/someone? :: 12
07 :: (11) : How does this hexagram balance/harmonise, mediate? :: 25
08 :: (16) : How does this hexagram express foresight/planning? :: 57
09 :: (51) : How does this hexagram express surprise, enlightenment, shock? :: 9
10 :: (40) : How does this hexagram express tension release through relaxing structure? :: 53
11 :: (54) : How does this hexagram expend early energy, imaturity? :: 37
12 :: (62) : How does this hexagram express overacting to establish unconditional loyalty? :: 59
13 :: (55) : How does this hexagram deal with abundance/overflowing? :: 61
14 :: (32) : How does this hexagram express commitment? :: 20
15 :: (34) : How does this hexagram actively invigorate others? :: 42
16 :: (08) : How does this hexagram passively attract? :: 50
17 :: (03) : How does this hexagram 'sprout'? :: 14
18 :: (29) : How does this hexagram assert containment/control? :: 56
19 :: (60) : How does this hexagram standardise? :: 30
20 :: (39) : How does this hexagram obstruct, go against, stand up to, the flow? :: 64
21 :: (63) : How does this hexagram complete, 'get it right'? :: 38
22 :: (48) : Where does this hexagram get its nutrition, what sustains it, keeps it going? :: 35
23 :: (05) : How does this hexagram wait for opportunity to come? :: 21
24 :: (45) : How does this hexagram celebrate its 'faith'? :: 18
25 :: (17) : How does this hexagram find a faith? What is its faith? :: 26
26 :: (47) : How does this hexagram integrate with the context, be it by choice or otherwise? :: 52
27 :: (58) : How does this hexagram express itself intensely, self-reflect? :: 22
28 :: (31) : How does this hexagram 'woo', express restrained enticement? :: 4
29 :: (49) : How does this hexagram reveal, unmask? :: 41
30 :: (28) : How does this hexagram express excess, go beyond what is required? :: 23
31 :: (43) : How does this hexagram 'seed', spread the word? :: 27
32 :: (23) : How does this hexagram 'housekeep', clear chaff to bring out the wheat? :: 28
33 :: (27) : What is the basic, skelatal form of this hexagram, The mud from which it has emerged? :: 43
34 :: (04) : How does this hexagram learn social skills? :: 31
35 :: (41) : How does this hexagram achieve clarity, concentration, distillation? :: 49
36 :: (52) : How does this hexagram express blocking, discernment? :: 47
37 :: (22) : What does this hexagram look like, how does it present itself to the outside? :: 58
38 :: (18) : How does this hexagram correct corruption, express that correction? :: 45
39 :: (26) : How does this hexagram express 'holding firm' to traditions? :: 17
40 :: (35) : How does this hexagram bring something into the 'light'? :: 48
41 :: (21) : How does this hexagram resolve problems? :: 5
42 :: (64) : How does this hexagram remain 'open', mis-sequence? :: 39
43 :: (38) : How does this hexagram 'mirror', deal with opposition? :: 63
44 :: (56) : How does this hexagram demonstrate conditional loyalty; loyalty at a distance? :: 29
45 :: (30) : How does this hexagram express guidance/direction setting? :: 60
46 :: (50) : How does this hexagram express conversion of the raw to the cooked, transformation? :: 8
47 :: (14) : How does this hexagram manage from the centre? Direct operations? Push ideology? :: 3
48 :: (20) : How does this hexagram elicit admiration and so invigorate others passively? :: 32
49 :: (42) : How does this hexagram reflect augmentation? :: 34
50 :: (59) : How does this hexagram make things clear, dispell illusions? lift the fog? :: 62
51 :: (61) : How does this hexagram express empathy? yielding, soft core, hard exterior? :: 55
52 :: (53) : How does this hexagram express gradual development, maturity? :: 40
53 :: (37) : How does this hexagram reflect rigid structure as a form of tension release? :: 54
54 :: (57) : How does this hexagram cultivate and become influencial? :: 16
55 :: (09) : How does this hexagram express making small gains to be noticed? :: 51
56 :: (12) : How does this hexagram neutralise attacks on its core beliefs? :: 46
57 :: (25) : How does this hexagram stand up to say its piece, ignoring consequences, disentangle? :: 11
58 :: (06) : How does this hexagram compromise, meet half way? :: 15
59 :: (10) : How does this hexagram traverse a path carefully? :: 36
60 :: (33) : How does this hexagram draw-in its enemies, competitively entice? :: 7
61 :: (13) : How does this hexagram express association with the likeminded? :: 19
62 :: (44) : How does this hexagram persuade/seduce? :: 2
63 :: (01) : How does this hexagram express singlemindedness, competitiveness? :: 24
 

lightofdarkness

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BTW - mapped to such typologies as the MBTI, 44 associates with a persona expressing:

XSTP (operators) working in a context of
XSTJ (monitors)

Chris.
 
W

waveringdragon

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hi val,
reading through this my biggest fear for you is that you have convinced yourself that this man is your predestined lover when he is not,
re 44, for a moment getting outside of this or any, situation and looking at it objectively,
to me the powerful/attractive woman in 44 is purely symbolic, just as the goats, pigs, fishes, rotting fruit and rooves that are about to collapse are symbolic, to me what 44 represents is that which is powerfully attractive to the ego, the only way to get beyond the danger represented by 44 is according to 44.5 to not get involved but to hold to that which is good within ourselves,
as a man 44 has on a good number of occasions represented a sexually attractive woman, taking 44 as a warning in such cases what i have found is that once i get beyond the ego there is very little to connect with or relate to with these women, sometimes that is a comment upon myself and the way i regarg these women, other times it is a comment upon the woman and the manner in which she is approaching/regarding me,
just a thought, once we take the ego out of sexiness/sexuality there is not a lot left to it,
but back to 44, in this particular reading you recieved 13.1.2
staying objective, not putting these hexagrams/lines into any particular context,
the answer you received was 13, friendship, so the answer to your question is friendship, friendship is the state of being with which you must approach this situation,
13.1 is about friendship out in the open, everything is open, everything is above board,
13.2 warns about forming factions, groups, special relationships based upon personal or egoistic interests, it particularly warns about forming any groupings or relationships that require one person or group to be condemned in favour of another,
one thing i feel compelled to say, we all have our individual interpretations of the yi and i feel very strongly that the yi responds to our individual interpretation but i personally feel that more than anything that the yi is a means of communication while others feel that it is a specific message or communication so we may well differ there,
having interpreted the particular lines and hexagrams objectively how do i relate them to you particular situation,
personally i feel it is all within you val, this reading has nothing to do with anybody else, there is a state/way of being that you can enter into in which this waiting will end, what you have to do is follow the guidance given in 13, approach the situation in friendship, 13.1, keep everything out in the open, 13.2, avoid forming special relationships/factions, and i think you will find the powerful woman in 44 is within you, if you can get beyond her i think you will find it so much easier to follow the guidance given in 13.1.2,
i really hope this helps, i hope it does'nt offend you, i realise that what i have written will be upsetting to your viewpoint of this man as your predestined lover and i don't feel good about that but i still feel compelled to urge you to follow the guidance given above, try it, get there within yourself and then see where you are in relation to this situation,
i genuinely and sincerely mean you all the best val,
blessings to you,
paul
 

femke

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Hi Val

If I understand correctly, you've had a dream about a man that you feel is your future husband, but are unsure who it is in real life. If you ask I Ching about him, you keep getting 44. So not only regarding this one specific man, right? Also in general about your dream-man?
I have a few questions for more clarity: have you already experienced the analogue to the two times saying "no" to a man? Are you sure it's three times the same man, or could it be three different men (since the face is invisible)? What do you think it means that you've "seen this trick with the whip where you came from"? What kind of feeling did you get when the man tied the whip around you? And finally, how did you realize that this means you are going to marry this man?

The reason I'm asking is, that this dream plays a key-role. So I'm interested what exactly it means to you.

If you don't feel like answering one or any, don't feel obliged!
 
R

rosada

Guest
Hi Val,

Further thoughts on the dream and 44. ..
44 suggests an intruder that should be stopped. I wonder if the I Ching is suggesting your attitude towards this dream should be similar to one of dealing with an Intruder, as in, "Look Dream Man, we haven't been properly introduced and until you can get your act together to manefest in physical form i would appreciate it if you would put me on your do-not-call list!"

Once he realizes you are not to be toyed with he just may show up!

In good fun,
Rosada
 

cal val

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Hi Paul...

Wow... I really appreciate all the time you spent answering my original post. You know more about me than I do... or would even dare pretend to.


I have a gazillion questions I want to ask you, but I'm only going to ask one little one for now.

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

the answer you received was 13, friendship, so the answer to your question is friendship, friendship is the state of being with which you must approach this situation...<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>My question is... what is that about? I'm confused. I asked the Yi a when question... not a how question. Thanks for your help!

Love,

Val
 

hilary

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Not presuming to speak for Paul, but I find Yi answers 'when' questions with an implied 'when this happens' / 'when you take this approach' / 'once you're in this position' - and so on.

Of course, harmony between people at the gate (I think they're preparing to go out, away from the enclosure of former relationships) is not something you can create by yourself. But - other readings being equal - it would make sense to do all you could to move things that way.
 

cal val

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I love this Femke... actually I'm awed by this. You've asked all the right questions.

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

If I understand correctly, you've had a dream about a man that you feel is your future husband, but are unsure who it is in real life. If you ask I Ching about him, you keep getting 44. So not only regarding this one specific man, right? Also in general about your dream-man?<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>
Bingo Femke... except he's not strictly a 'dream man.' Yes I first dreamt about him 20 something years ago, but the universe has reminded me about him a few times since. I was approached by a psychic out of the blue... unsolicited... shocked me... I'd never met her etc. This was about five years ago. She yelled at me across a very large and rather crowded balcony. Everyone who witnessed... people who knew her... had eyes as big as saucers while she told me about him... and the travel I would have to take to connect with him. She was a bit freaked it happened... that she was compelled to read me, a stranger, like that... as were the people who witnessed as was I. I have no doubt the universe sent her, and I know why.

And then it happened again... this year. This time I approached a psychic quite spontaneously. I expected her to give a phony 5-minute reading. I think she expected to as well, but she turned over the Guidance card in the Osho Zen deck... HER eyes got big as saucers, and she proceeded to read about the same man. She just gave a few more details.

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

have you already experienced the analogue to the two times saying "no" to a man?<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>

Wow... good question! The answer is Yes... the man in the UK... the one taking care of the woman with HIV/AIDS. He tried to ask me twice... and I deflected the question twice... I had a profound fear of marriage then that the Yi and my dreams has since helped me understand and get past http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/92/781.html#POST7636.There's also a post to Chris Lofting in the 50 to 8 thread about where this dream led me).

The second dream 20 something years ago prophesied the first time he asked me... it was all rather ugly. The dream was very ugly... and scary... something I never wanted to come true. And then I didn't realize it had... 20 something years later... until the damage was done.

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

Are you sure it's three times the same man, or could it be three different men (since the face is invisible)?<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote> It might be more than one man. So far only one man has asked me to marry him (since that dream), and he's asked twice. There's absolutely no time left for there to be two more men. There's no time left for even one new man to come into my life. The building will be finished soon.

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

What do you think it means that you've "seen this trick with the whip where you came from"?<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote> I believe that means I've seen marriage back there... in my past... childhood... I was 10 years old when I developed my fear of marriage.

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

What kind of feeling did you get when the man tied the whip around you?<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote> I woke up at that point feeling content and secure... very peaceful... and it was a foreign feeling for me at that point in my life... I was a single young mother.

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

And finally, how did you realize that this means you are going to marry this man?<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote> He repeatedly tied a knot (with the whip) up my back. It was kind of dream symbolism for dummies (that would be me) or the very resistant to marriage types (that would be me again... at that point in time anyway... but not any more).

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

The reason I'm asking is, that this dream plays a key-role.<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote> Absolutely right. This dream is huge. I didn't retell the whole dream... there was a lot to it, but the man in the beginning of the dream turned out to be the man in the UK... I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt because of the symbolism in the beginning. That doesn't mean, though, that he's the man at the end of the dream (although I hope so).

The second dream which I didn't recount here... was bloody and gorey... my reaction to his attempt to love me (while I lay in a hospital bed) was to stab him with two knives... a long one in one hand, a short one in the other. He stabbed me back with the same configuration of knives. There was blood everywhere. The hospital staff separated us and sent us to different doctors. As we were walking down the street, one of my molesters... the scariest one... told him to watch out for me... showed him a rope burn on his neck and said I'd done it.

NOTE: Just before I met the man in the UK I was sexually harassed at work... it triggered emotional memories of the molestation, I went through PTSD, and I hung that predatory sucker the best I could so he could never hurt another woman again like he did me... the sexual harasser that is (there were eight victims before me).

Back to the dream: I got on a plane and went home. I tried to watch a video in front of my seat that I was supposed to watch, but only snow showed and someone had to come and fix it.

That whole dream has come true... down to the glitching monitor in front of my seat (I flew Virgin to and from the UK).

Your questions are really excellent. You asked all the important ones. I hope my answers help.

Love,

Val
 

dobro p

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For what it's worth department: I don't think 44's about women, really. I think it's a sort of variation of Hex 10. With 44, you encounter a force that's attractive, but either too powerful for you to take on, or more generally not appropriate for you. The message seems to be: "Yes, it looks nice, but it's not for you."

(Hex 10 is a contact that's dangerous, but which can avoid pain if you watch your step. I see a sort of parallel between 10 and 44.
 

cal val

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Hi Hilary...

Thank you very much. Interesting stuff to ponder... less confusing.

Love,

Val
 

cal val

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Hi Rosada...

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

I wonder if the I Ching is suggesting your attitude towards this dream should be similar to one of dealing with an Intruder...<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote> You're kidding... right?

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

"Look Dream Man, we haven't been properly introduced<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>From what do you draw that conclusion?

Thanks.

Love,

Val
 

cal val

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Hi Dobro...

I don't think 44 is necessarily about women either. It can be alcohol, drugs...

I hadn't thought about it being too powerful for one to take on. That's interesting because in the 20 something year old dream I felt intimidated about my puny lil whip crackin' skills when he cracked his giant whip so easily and expertly. And then when the psychic approached me back in 2000, she said I was going to feel intimidated when I first connected with him but shouldn't, that we can easily be ourselves with each other. She said I would feel trepidation about the trip too.

The connection you've drawn between 10 and 44 is interesting. I'm still getting 10... got it twice this weekend, but I haven't received 44 again since I started this thread. But I'll be watching...

Thanks for your thoughts!

Love,

Val
 
W

waveringdragon

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hi val,
to be honest hilary answered your question so much better than i could have,

all the best,

paul
 

kevin

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My experience of 44

Yes it can be a person, an event or something I unwittingly put into train, which takes off out of control and far beyond my plan.

It is usually a life changing event. One which once started I can't control and which teaches me something.

For me 'not grasping the woman' has been good advice in terms of 'hanging loose.' Not trying to control things.

Sometimes I have had it when I have met a woman I have the hots for and it ain't going to work... she is not for me. I can imagine a woman might get this in the same way with a man... and for all the other preferences.

Usually when I get this hexagram I can expect something unexpected to happen.

Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it is difficult.

It has not yet been bad.

But it has often been ?oh so bumpy?.

--Kevin
 

femke

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I'm pondering about this analogy of the whip! Quite a way to describe a marriage, being bound by someones whip. A whip makes me think of agression and power. So the dream could say something about trust in men, I think, especially since you're explicitly referring to the past. That's why I wondered about the feeling it gave you, content and secure. I'm wondering if the image is about changing the way you perceive men.
Also I was thinking 44 might be a nice way to describe a "whip-man": wind/wood and heaven. For what it's worth section as well.

In your dream the man turns to you three times, he is the one taking all the initiative. In real life the English guy has asked you two times, dream-like. I understand that you start to wonder how it will all go, since the building is almost finished, but I think if it happens in dream analogy the man will come to you. Without any effort on your side. So could it be possible that, like Rosada stated, 44 is telling you to not take the initiative and wait for him to make The Move, wei wu wei?

"Once he realizes you are not to be toyed with he just may show up!"

I do hope it works out fine QUICKLY, waiting can be such a blissfull learning experience looking back on it! (here's a fellow single speaking)
 

cal val

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Hi Femke...

I've known what the dream means ever since I had it. The whips are about personal power... I knew that then. And personal power is directly proportionate to one's ability to love and be loved... I didn't learn that, though, until I went into therapy a few years after the dream, and I didn't know it experientially until I was in Virginia and started cracking my own little whip (and realizing just what a huge whip the man in the UK had been cracking when we were together). It's about the surrender to and vulnerability in love. It's about trust.

I've known for as long as I've known I'm psychic that the universe never shows one enough to act on... never shows one enough to impact one's choices. So yes... you're very correct in that there's nothing I'm to do... except wait and let things happen... but the dream and the 44s aren't trying to tell me that... that would be like preaching to the choir, and I know the Yi doesn't do that.

That's not what Rosada said either, but she certainly could have meant something different than what she said. I sincerely got the feeling from what she did say that either she didn't read the post I linked to... or her comment was part of her "having some fun." That's why I asked if she was kidding. I couldn't tell... because I wasn't getting how it was funny. The humor went right over my head.

Love,

Val
 
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rosada

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Hi Val,
I'll try to present my ideas in a more streight forward fasion. 44 is about an intrusion. The wind here is intruding upon the energy of the sky as an unexpected and unsettling influence. I was suggesting this could be a discription of your experience with the dreams. That is, that they are "intruding" into your "real" life and further, that by having access into your real life through a dream, the Dream Man is an unsettling experience. I was trying to humourously suggest this Dream Man was behaving in a less than gentlemanly fasion and that rather than thinking you should tolerate and dissect these dreams, you could just say, "Hey, Universe, I'm a good person. Cut out the games. Bring him on!" Some wise soul has noted that the Universe tends to give us only what we ask of it, so I was suggesting that if you were to tell the Dream Man that you found his erratic appearances and disappearances no longer amusing, told him in effect you were no longer willing to meet him halfway and accept him as real even though he had yet to appear in person, but rather you were demanding the Universe put up or shut up, well, who knows, maybe he'd materialize.
But anyway, i was just trying to suggest we play with this hexagram abit and I don't want you to think I was not taking the sincerity of your experience seriously.

Rosada
 

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