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kestrelw1ngs

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hi, first time posting although i read the forums quite regularly!

i currently feel stuck in the middle of many big decisions that the pandemic put on hold, the biggest being moving.

my partner and i live in her childhood home with her father, rent-free.
i moved in on the grounds this was a temporary spot to rest and save up, but a series of unexpected detours, the spike in housing costs, and our own financial mismanagement have us feeling 'stuck'

the home itself has a stagnant, heavy energy (got 12, Stagnation, quite a few times in readings here). everything is painted grey, there's almost no natural light, thistles all over the yard, an enormous wasp infestation, junk piled to the ceiling in the garage and around the house, filthy carpet.
it has seen familial abuse, depression (her mother died here). soon after i moved in, some 'friends' had a housing emergency and ended up landing their abusive & materialistic energy here for a good 6 months before blowing up on us and moving out with death threats and property destruction. now her father has invited another person in crisis to live here. it feels like now is the time to act...we've been having relationship problems for awhile but i'm hoping this move would help by giving us both a greater sense of autonomy and responsibility.

my partner and i are also LGBT, and this particular suburb is hostily conservative in a conservative state. we have both discussed moving out of our home state endlessly, but are not sure where to go.

__________
i have been plying the Yijing with "what will be the outcome of moving to _____?" about the cities it seems we could possibly afford.

for staying in state but moving out of this house: 28.2>32
for City 1 (closest, slightly cheaper, know a few people there):40uc
for City 2 (a bit farther, still expensive, know several good friends, keep seeing 'signs' about it): 47.2.3.5.6 >56
for City 3 (all the way across the country, I feel strongly drawn to/in love with the culture and aesthetic, but only have a few aquaintances): 1.6>43

none of this feels very clear except the last (seems to be a warning) so i asked 'what am i not understanding about moving?' and received

63.3 to 3 (the repetition of 3s themselves makes me think of completion?)
is this telling me to hang tight and store up money, or try and make friends across the country? to be practical and set my sights lower than an out of state move? to literally plant a garden here while we wait?

i'm stuck on

63.3​

'The high ancestor attacks the Demon Country.
Three years go round, and he overcomes it.
Don't use small people.'


any suggestions for interpretation? my mind is spinning.
thank you so much! and happy spring.
 

kestrelw1ngs

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forgot to include how i felt about this last reading - mostly confused and frustrated about the lack of clarity. life seems very overlaid with metaphors of pregnancy and seeds and seedlings lately and i don't know what i'm being asked to commit to or plant. myself? this relationship? a new place?
 

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